people that YELP are scumbags

excelsior

the perfection is presented in front of you and you take a bite and are in absolute nostalgia

Is this the word he really meant to use there?

"this tastes like a lamb chop I had in 1987"

https://imgur.com/gallery/8x1La

https://i.imgur.com/UqDi5Ac.jpg

file under: "things I thought I knew when I was a vegetarian"

When I was a vegetarian I spoke as a vegetarian

This is a review that will not be textbook. We ordered a lot of things and shared them, over deep conversations about work, life and whatever else came to mind during that evening. What I can tell you is that everything ranged from good to great. I don't think specific menu shoutouts would do much good anyway, because it struck me as a place that has an ever-changing menu. I could be totally wrong about that, but it definitely *looks* like one of those places.

This is a review that will not tell you anything about the food. In fact, I'm not even sure I ordered from this restaurant, but it definitely *looks* like someplace I'd order from. What I can tell you is that food arrived at my house, somehow, and over deep conversations about work, life and whatever else came to mind during that evening, I gradually came to realize that I was alone in the house and that the woman with whom I believed I had been speaking was actually a canvas sack filled with bones, ranging from god to great.

I have found the most entertaining tripadvisor user
https://www.tripadvisor.com/members/badbaruch57

he posts a review of every place he goes, and what he does there, regardless of whether he's previously reviewed the place

found his profile when I noticed the amazing coinage as "lauxeriouse" as an alternate spelling and had to check him out

https://twitter.com/shotacum/status/829757460055519233

in my house growing up the joke was that if you found the bay leaf in your soup, you had to do the dishes

via LG https://www.google.com/#q=%22chinese+people%22+%22always+a+good+sign%22&*

The interior is nicely decorated and the people I saw eating there were traditional Chinese families, which is always a good sign that the food is authentic.

(imitation markers voice)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7HmzwI67ec

https://twitter.com/benedictevans/status/840275613306961920

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C6lCNRIUwAAohzU.jpg

I like to use the tripadvisor app to get a sense of how hotels are doing, just in general

in case anybody missed it: Best line from TripAdvisor reviews of the Hotel Carter in NYC

This is a food court pizzaria. There is shared seating and the men's room is always locked unless you're an employee. I didn't have a chance to eat because when we arrived it appeared that today wasn't one of the days they were preparing food. At 12:30 PM on a Saturday, the kitchen was closed and there was one employee in the back, but visable. I have no idea what he was doing, but it didn't involve preparing food.

ahaahaha, every line of that is like "so, why did you think writing a review was necessary, again?"

The room was chilly and the chairs slightly uncomfortable. Overall, cleanliness was a little below average. The appetizers were the highlight and included antipasta salad and fried calamari. It was followed by a garden salad which was a mescilin mix with a grape tomato. The dried, sliced sub roll in the plastic green basket was the available bread. They had water, coke and diet coke, but no sprite? It is a BYOB and Sprite apparently. The penne in vodka was swimming and the tomato sauce was spicy. I had chicken parmesan that was complimented by green beans and a fried potato stick. The food was bland. I couldn't even guess what the fried potato was due to the lack of taste. I awarded the two stars because it was a family memory. I especially liked the Rotary podium in the men's room and the dirty napkin on the window.

https://s3-media3.fl.yelpcdn.com/photo/Fz47PwP9fXskOD4LU7wB5g/ls.jpg

Terribly managed. The first time I called, they lost my order. Next, they explained there were no meatballs at 5pm during a weeknight. Finally, the large pie was small and charged incorrectly. There are so many choices, I will pick elsewhere.

this guy is rly obsessed with time:

My LAST visit I walked in to order a bagel sandwich at 12:45 PM on a Saturday. They close at 1:00 PM and I was turned away after being told the grill was off for the day. The is a customer service FAIL! You clean all the burners, leaving one on until closing, you check the coffee canisters every 10 minutes.... I shouldn't have to tell them how to run their business.

I guess he means one of these?

http://i.imgur.com/0eETqfQ.jpg

It is a BYOB and Sprite apparently.

lowkey favorite review ever

Gemelli's is tucked away in the corner of the Potomac Valley Shopping Center (NORTH).

Speaking of the Potomac Valley Shopping Center, Gaithersburg is trying to annex the one across the street. I have no opinion on the matter. I just want Caliyogurt back.

I did not know this place exist; mostly, because I do not venture on the outskirts of West Gaithersburg.

I was planning to go to Moe's Southwest Grille, but they are out of business partly due to all the negative reviews from Yelpers so instead I decided to walk around the corner to get Fuddruckers! Nope, Fuddruckers is also gone, so I walked into Gemelli's.

There was a family there eating sandwiches and sharing iced tea. The sandwiches looked quite dank. I was going to order the Caprese sandwich, but like the rest of the moms in Kentlands, I am also on the Atkins diet, so I opted for the Caprese platter, instead. I was thinking about the Caprese salad, but I was worried that it was going to be a lot more greens than mozzarella and tomatoes.

It was great; I love simple, fresh ingredients. Unfortunately, it set me back $10.50, but it also inspired me to eat more Caprese on my own. That's the problem; I am less likely to go back to Gemelli's because I can just buy evoo, mozzarella, tomatoes, and basil elsewhere for less. Sure, maybe the ingredients won't be as fresh, but my wallet would certainly be fatter to supplement my other interests.
_______
Be careful when buying evoo. The Italian mafia has corrupted many evoo brands. A lot of American brands do not meet evoo standards. Do your research and buy an authentic, respectable evoo brand.

Here are some tips:
-Just because it was made in Italy, does not mean it is evoo.
-Do not buy the popular, cheap brands: Bertolli, Pompeian, or Filippo Berio. Evoo should never cost less than $10 per liter.
-It needs to be in a dark bottle.
-Do not store in the fridge upon opening, keep in a dark, cool place.
-Make sure the harvest date is from October, November the previous year.

https://www.consumeraffairs.com/food/nabisco.html

^^^ passed along to me by erstwhile ilxor emilys.

TRUST me when i say it is worth your time

i have been wanting one of these

thank you for these important snack reviews, DC and emilys.

didn't know gaithersburg had a west much less an outskirts

"You used to sell 16 OZ boxes that contained at least 160 crackers. I'm very OCD so I count them. There are now around 120 or less. Math says these boxes are 12 OZ. Each OZ was 10 crackers years ago. The last box had 116! Please correct all future boxes. Do NOT just offer me a few free boxes. The FTC will be contacted. I will allow 3 month to correct the problem." I sent this in around 3 weeks ago and haven't gotten a response. Is there still an organization out there that weighs products or can a company rip off customers? A 13.7 OZ box should contain 137 crackers.

Helpful? Yes|No

😂😭😢

i've been there

didn't know gaithersburg had a west much less an outskirts

― dollar general (am0n), Friday, March 17, 2017 12:09 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's the part everyone prefers to call potomac

I fucking love gaithersburg

but west gaithersburg isn't potomac, they can call it north potomac if they want but it's travilah today, travilah tomorrow, travilah forever

now that's no way to sound rich

also if you're ever in that kentlands/quince orchard area, i super recommend gemelli's! i've been getting my lunch there way too much. they make a huge amount of fresh pasta every day and their hard bread sandwiches are indeed dank

I don't know if any bar or entity deserves a 5 star review but I've been to way too many bars and this one is...at a minimum, just way better than most others.

It's like that infamous Pitchfork review that described CYHSY as like every other cool-sounding indie rock band except a lot better -- yeah, that's kind of Monty.

classic Monty

a pitchfork review referenced in a yelp comment is causing me actual physical pain

that infamous Pitchfork review

No way that Yelp review wasn't written by an ILMer

that same dude has other fine reviews

Intelligentsia Coffee

1.0 star

Supercool place. Wifi was almost completely non-operational.

Dunkin’ Donuts

1.0 star

Just waited. Then left. Not much else to say. Lots of people standing around chillin.

standing around dunkin ime

i went to an intelligentsia in chicago and was telling the cashier(?) that i had no idea it was based there

he asked where i lived and which intelligentsias i had been to

next thing i know hes giving me my coffees at no charge

still not crazy about them though

there's a hipster coffee place called bar nine in culver city that is p good

https://www.eater.com/2017/5/16/15648666/yale-yelper-scandal

lmao

I wavered over whether to post this to this thread or "Free Speech and Creepy Liberalism" and chose the other