who is Bob Lefsetz?

good god

The woman is appreciative. And when she comes!! She’s in her own private reverie, it’s astounding to watch.

i thought that was satire, riffing off the previous post. then i went to the original column and saw it was in fact there in all of its very public reverie. then i kept reading. i want in on that class-action lawsuit. i'm already losing weight and feeling lethargic and lost.

you think it's bad now you're the one who has to fact check lefsetz's cunny skills

oh, he's got skills, i assure you. no need to factcheck. the woman is appreciative. i saw it on the internet.

she'll be coming round the mountain -- and when she comes!!

Have you ever gotten a woman to fart in public? Good luck! You’ve got to be in a relationship for that.

it’s astounding to watch.

I'm pretty sure this means he's filming it.

he has a new one up already but I don't think I can recover from the Lefsetz cunnilingus missive

Sundays with Lefsetz...

Max Martin, you're the only one who can save us, along with a bunch of other expats, foreigners like DJ Snake and Mark Ronson, the people who make the hits, you're under the spotlight, you've got to write the track.

All you wannabes looking for publicity, we don't need you. Unless you're gonna do cover versions of the hit track. We need the people who make the Spotify Top 50, because they've got the greatest reach, they're the ones people are truly listening to.

you forgot the best part which is that this is about the CIA report on russia

our savior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdYGQ7B0Vew

Did I ever tell you about the time I left part of my tongue on the T-bar at Stratton?

Tongue Tales by Bob Lefsetz (Hyperion, 2017)

All hail Lefsetz! King of the false premise!

Lefsetz has been reading too much Saramago and is infatuated with the comma splice

Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are lining up, paragons of the past, do you see them anywhere on the Spotify Top 50, nowhere close, and you’ll probably get a couple of country acts too, brain dead singers of others’ songs who oftentimes are racist underneath it all, then again, some of the biggest country acts rap, isn’t that confounding, hell, Florida Georgia Line made massive hits integrating the urban sound, even Luke Bryan does it too, what’s up?

on the kennedy center honors:

even worse was Juanes doing “Hotel California. Why don’t you get Timothy B. Schmit to sing at the Latin Grammys?

and

Believe me, CEOs don’t want to be Pitbull, they want to be Don Henley or Glenn Frey or Joe Walsh

All CEOs:Well, yeah.

haha

In other news, Lefsetz's "source" claims George Michael committed suicide...

That’s when Wham! first resonated for me. I woke up after the first night with my ex-wife and “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” was playing on the MTV. When that channel defined the culture, with a power not seen since. We Americans were still trying to figure out the transition from classic rock. We thought we killed disco, but we did not know what came next. Then the Brits came along and stole our lunch, not only Soft Cell and Human League, but Culture Club and George Michael. The sensibility was different. It was not about being coolly attached to what once was, but throwing out the baby with the bathwater and starting anew. Pop was no longer a dirty word. Synthesizers were as important as guitars. Limits were being tested and the acts seemed to be having so much fun, we found them irresistible.

Debbie Reynolds RIP

First of all, there's touch. And sex. After all, we're animals. Try and hug someone every day, not in a perfunctory way, but in a style more conscious, like life is hard but at least you have each other. My parents never touched me growing up, could be a fifties thing, I don't know, and I struggle with flesh on flesh, but I do know when done right touch roots me, and you.

I'll stick with perfunctory hugging for most.

I'm more of a discrete-head-nod-from-across-the-room person.

Found on Twitter:

http://i66.tinypic.com/xmk9qh.jpg

"Personally, I love to give oral. It's a gift."

--Bob Marley

The biggest act in the business is Adele, and although she faltered with "25," her previous album, "21," outsold its competition by a factor of ten.

If Lefsetz thinks that selling 8 million copies is faltering, then he clearly doesn't have a Soundscan account

I wonder what the Lef's stance is on 'New Jersey's...

every mega-platinum selling artist has their "25"--an album that sells 8 million copies but wasn't immediately put up on Spotify and therefore is a failure

hahahaha

hmmmmm. He seems to think every musician is on a big, old-school corporate label:

My inbox fills up with both the famous and infamous, the known and the irrelevant, bitching about Spotify payments, they think the Swedish company is the devil. They believe Daniel Ek got rich off the backs of musicians and this wrong must be righted, that there will be no harmony until he is dethroned and the service pays them a higher rate.

But Spotify is already paying out 69%+ of its revenues.

What’s the truth?

You’re being screwed by the label. And Spotify can’t say this, because the labels are their partners.

Of course there’s more to the story. Songwriters are getting the shaft, they are getting a lesser percentage than they deserve. And marginal artists are getting a tiny share of the pie. But assuming you’re playing for real, that people are actually listening to your music, that it’s not just posted on Spotify and hanging out in darkness, if you want to get paid cut out the middleman.

Well, he kinda acknowledges "marginal artists" I see

i can't believe he's clueless!!!!

I'm reading this new book, "The Upstarts," you can't buy it. It's not coming out until the end of the month.

bragging about that very exclusive idea of a prerelease or review copy

You see, Taylor Swift lives in a bubble, just like Milo and PewDiePie.

What the fuck is his problem?

That was some good reasoning-- Swift, like every other star in the world, tried to cultivate a social media presence. But because she suffered criticism from a weirdo celeb stalker and an ex-boyfriend she is just like some fascist troll who came to fame on twitter.

I tried to imagine what a crazed person who would stalk Lefsetz would be like and I now feel very uncomfortable

site down; I didn't know they rewrote all the HTTP errors to include things like "reading lefsetz on milo is the opposite of self-care"

dedicated concertgoers prefer StubHub. Because they can wait until the last minute, when they know they’re free, and get a good ticket.

"dedicated" concertgoers apparently are not quite dedicated enough to make plans to go to concerts in advance.

dedicated to maybe going to a concert if nothing else is up

tbf if you really love music but don't want to pay a lot to see acts that are overpriced you might see if you can get some last-minute tickets for cheap after the scalpers have failed to sell

stubhub kind of has killed that by making the resale process easier for scalpers? walking around outside the venue after the opener is already playing and haggling seems harder now

dedicated concertgoers prefer StubHub. Because they can wait until the last minute, when they know they’re free, and get a good ticket.
"dedicated" concertgoers apparently are not quite dedicated enough to make plans to go to concerts in advance.

― fact checking cuz, Wednesday, February 22, 2017 1:52 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dedicated concert goers love it when shows instantly sell out because of bots buying them all up and instantly repricing them at double the price! so cool

it's the best

Was gonna make a "...spirit here..." joke, but upon actully looking at the piece, I see he made a worse one:

This is about letting fans and potential fans know that Eric Church is on their side, and we haven’t had that spirit here since the MTV era, not in someone who can sell out arenas.

does anybody have any scannable copies of, or links to scans of, this thing during the pre-internet area? I imagine there is some old gold in the print edition of TLL

https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/the-man-who-broke-ticketmaster

Very few of the shows sold out, and I had to sell the tickets for pennies on the dollar. On any given day, you can check StubHub and, hours before almost all but the most popular events, you can find tickets for at or below face value. Many of these tickets were bought by scalpers, who are trying to ditch them at the last minute.

ah yes, this is the "stubhub doing the people good" angle

Retired American Psycho

I'm sitting there listening to Bruce Hornsby's latest album last night and trying to read the newspaper, doing both ineffectively. And who knew Hornsby put out an LP where he plays dulcimer instead of piano last year, actually, I did, but after the advance single I lost the plot, I never listened, although last night I realized "Rehab Reunion" was good. But it's like it almost doesn't exist, there's no chart action, unlike "The Way It Is," which inspired me to search, but that initial hit was back in '86, does he still have to play it in concert and does he squeeze the new stuff in? The dirty little secret is tickets are so expensive the audience feels entitled to hear the hits, and it's hard to blame them.

Lefsetz on man buns is essential reading.

"A blue collar denizen" is the clear winner from that.

Yes, 9/11 happened, but that was in New York, first stop for Europeans, a bit more of a hop, skip and a jump from the Middle East, but the centralized city, Manhattan, makes a perfect target.

But if they're lobbing bombs from North Korea, L.A.'s the place.