Mou vs Roo

I like the bit about him having to go round filling people's glasses at the Christmas party.

been "disgracefully treated" apparently.

would explain the poor quality finish

...ing

yeah look

I've been disgracefully treated by good red wine in my time but I've only ever had myself to blame

FA officials decided to shepherd the pair away around 11pm but they later returned to the wedding, where Rooney downed red wine while shouting obscenities at the DJ.

He is also said to have chatted for hours with a couple of female guests and later became “touchy-feely” with several others while “bumbling” around.

At one point he told the DJ to “turn the f*****g music up!”. He was also heard yelling “shut the f*** up” at guests as he listened to music on a phone.

The Man United ace had earlier surprised guests by playing the piano — but a second attempt ended in embarrassment. A guest said: “He got back on around 4.30am and collapsed on the keys. His head was resting on them. A woman picked him up.”

Guests had asked Jagielka to help but he is said to have answered: “No, f*** Wayne, he’s paid more than me and is big enough and ugly enough to look after himself.”

mixing in just enough truth there jagz

Pleased to see Fergie has passed on his love of the piano to his charges. And red wine.

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney says reaction to his late-night conduct on England duty has been "disgraceful" and has vowed he is "not finished yet".

what a session, still on it a week later.

Determined to nail "Imagine" one day.

does he do children's parties?

feel like a user need for "interior life of wayne rooney" is developing

No one needs confirmation that's it's over for him once and for all, but if you ever needed it all you'd need to do is take one look at his beard.

"Ugly enough to look after himself", harsh but fair imho.

Quite the scene though. Shouting at the dj to turn it up, then turn it down again because he's listening to tunes on his phone, at a party. What was on Rooney's iPhone, one wonders? The man is in despair.

Quite the scene though. Shouting at the dj to turn it up, then turn it down again because he's listening to tunes on his phone, at a party.

Not even just a party - a wedding reception for people he didn't even know

I've been thinking has this all been a set up to hasten his departure from the England team.

they spiked his tenth drink huh

i had a similar thought the other day, they offered him this as a more dignified way of getting dropped rather than just because he's shit at football

kinda like The Spider's Stratagem but with wedding DJs

theme of the traitor and the he-roo

it was under our noses all along

there was a trail of lager leading to the old abandoned footballer's room

Rooney at Colonus: the Interior Life

Et mou b-roote

Jagz agreed to do it in return for an undisclosed % of profit on roo's fourth book, tentatively titled "Daddy what did you do in the world cup?"

answer: a shit