Mou vs Roo

posted this in the other thread but might as well go here too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1txLJu5BBsA

“But I have my apps and I can ask for food to also be delivered, which I do sometimes. You know the history of the paparazzi, for the hotel and the brand that sponsors me, the clothes brand, is amazing because they are there every day.

“Everybody knows the name of the hotel! Everybody knows the last arrivals of that brand! So for them, it is amazing.”

José Mourinho: My Manchester life is a disaster

i find this a bit weird - like yeah he's famous but why can't he go out for dinner? louis van gaal was publicly gorging himself on duck cantonese every week. now i'm sure jose has more paparazzi following but he could get a taxi, go somewhere nice, or just deign to rub shoulders with a few fans, big deal.

my shorter comment is: mou v deliveroo

he could get the chef at carrington to boil an egg for him

yeah is it totally unfeasible he could get a penthouse or something and cook his fucking dinner?

He's gone full Moyes at Sociedad. It's a sign he doesn't expect to stay long.

Either that or he knows he's losing the PR battle and wants people to think he's just sitting in his room playing Candy Crush and weeping.

"I want sometimes to walk a little bit and I can’t. I just want to cross the bridge and go for a restaurant. I can’t, so it is really bad. Buy a house? I do not know, I do not know."

Fergus Butler-Gallie ‏@_F_B_G_ May 3
Stood behind Jose Mourinho buying what appears to be a metric tonne of mango sorbet on the Kings Road.

Need a Mou vs Moyes thread. Things are almost perfect rn.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cvtvd9IWEAAJgOr.jpg

trolling everyone all at once, including himself

http://i.imgur.com/hXkWlnDl.jpg

Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho furious with FA staff over Wayne Rooney negligence

FA incapable of looking after a vulnerable 31 year old man.

"All the legends we loved drank like devils"

everything klopp says and does is brilliant

fave bit of that was - if i understood him correctly - him suggesting it was a nice collateral that people are able to find players in unprofessional states so they can get paid for the scoop. like civic pokemons or w/e

i mean there was no irony or implicit disdain for vulture behaviour whatsoever it was v charming

he is v charming imo

I like the bit about him having to go round filling people's glasses at the Christmas party.

been "disgracefully treated" apparently.

would explain the poor quality finish

...ing

yeah look

I've been disgracefully treated by good red wine in my time but I've only ever had myself to blame

FA officials decided to shepherd the pair away around 11pm but they later returned to the wedding, where Rooney downed red wine while shouting obscenities at the DJ.

He is also said to have chatted for hours with a couple of female guests and later became “touchy-feely” with several others while “bumbling” around.

At one point he told the DJ to “turn the f*****g music up!”. He was also heard yelling “shut the f*** up” at guests as he listened to music on a phone.

The Man United ace had earlier surprised guests by playing the piano — but a second attempt ended in embarrassment. A guest said: “He got back on around 4.30am and collapsed on the keys. His head was resting on them. A woman picked him up.”

Guests had asked Jagielka to help but he is said to have answered: “No, f*** Wayne, he’s paid more than me and is big enough and ugly enough to look after himself.”

mixing in just enough truth there jagz

Pleased to see Fergie has passed on his love of the piano to his charges. And red wine.

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney says reaction to his late-night conduct on England duty has been "disgraceful" and has vowed he is "not finished yet".

what a session, still on it a week later.

Determined to nail "Imagine" one day.

does he do children's parties?

feel like a user need for "interior life of wayne rooney" is developing

No one needs confirmation that's it's over for him once and for all, but if you ever needed it all you'd need to do is take one look at his beard.

"Ugly enough to look after himself", harsh but fair imho.

Quite the scene though. Shouting at the dj to turn it up, then turn it down again because he's listening to tunes on his phone, at a party. What was on Rooney's iPhone, one wonders? The man is in despair.

Quite the scene though. Shouting at the dj to turn it up, then turn it down again because he's listening to tunes on his phone, at a party.

Not even just a party - a wedding reception for people he didn't even know

I've been thinking has this all been a set up to hasten his departure from the England team.

they spiked his tenth drink huh

i had a similar thought the other day, they offered him this as a more dignified way of getting dropped rather than just because he's shit at football

kinda like The Spider's Stratagem but with wedding DJs

theme of the traitor and the he-roo

it was under our noses all along

there was a trail of lager leading to the old abandoned footballer's room

Rooney at Colonus: the Interior Life

Et mou b-roote

Jagz agreed to do it in return for an undisclosed % of profit on roo's fourth book, tentatively titled "Daddy what did you do in the world cup?"

answer: a shit