OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

yeah that band is fucking garbage yuck

You know they're glam 'cause their single has handclaps on it.

fwiw I am British and have never heard of this band

this line from the NPR piece jumped out as being especially clumsy

While American hip-hop swept England in the 1990s, Spiller, the son of a gospel musician, was getting hooked on glamorous '70s rock.

if this dude is 27 then depending on what year of the 1990s (any of which a case could be made for "American hip-hop sweeping England") they're referring to he was aged somewhere between one and 11

538 has really created this terrible brand of feature where a writer presents a ton of shallow "data points" in an overlong story about an incredibly banal topic...like basically dressing up some point that could be covered in 2 paragraphs with infographics etc

http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/1228-a-brief-history-of-famously-unstreamable-albums-that-ended-up-streaming-anyway/

Boy that URL just screams not to be clicked

but what if there's a kidney stone joke somewhere in there

fwiw I am British and have never heard of this band

Hammer and Kerrang! both hot for the struts' chilli, tbf

"As I sit at the counter waiting for her, downing refills of water and skimming a menu full of items that in no way can I afford, I consider how surreal it is that Shirley Manson, who is scheduled to make a national television appearance on Jimmy Kimmel later this evening, would take the time to voluntarily meet with some dumb writer. Music journalism is not a particularly glamorous field. In fact, for the last several years, I’ve had my parents under the impression that their only son is a middle manager at RadioShack. Not that that’s any better or worse of a career choice, but at least they understand what the gig entails. So for the life of me I couldn’t understand why she would want to waste a perfectly good evening hanging out with some word jockey."

here we go again

http://m.noisey.vice.com/blog/a-first-date-with-shirley-manson

hah, they look like a modern kerrang band, stevie. Not a good thing either :)

She instantly feels like someone I’ve known for years and accomplishes the impossible in getting me to drop my Ironic Guy facade for long enough to have a meaningful conversation. We crack into the subject of past relationships and dish about exes. I confess my “feelings” to her about breakups I've been through and she tells me I’m afraid of setting myself up to get hurt, which I realize is fully accurate. Suddenly I find myself telling her things that I’ve never admitted to anyone before, or maybe even admitted to myself. It was like she had been playing her own game of 21 Questions about me this whole time and had deduced enough information to solve the puzzle. I feel myself looking into unexplored corners of my dumb heart. Shirley Manson wields that power—to make a person to feel so comfortable, yet so vulnerable. If she likes them, that is.

Boy that URL just screams not to be clicked

― Have you hugged your timeghoul today? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, July 27, 2016 4:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

spoiler alert: there are some albums that weren't available on streaming services when they first came out but THEN.........they became available on streaming service...

the twist is, stay with me here, is that each of these albums was unavailable on streaming for a certain period of time and you can see infographics that compare how long that period was

also, the article points out that Radiohead's In Rainbow's did NOT come out on streaming services when it was first released....because streaming services did not exist at that time

Dan Ozzi is a completely pedestrian writer with an entirely disagreeable way of putting his personality in his articles. it baffles me that he is getting a co-writing credit for the Laura Jane Grace autobiog as I see no reason why she couldn't do a better job on her own, or at least with a nameless editor

http://www.wmagazine.com/story/how-rihanna-became-pop-s-many-faced-goddess

On her single “Work,” Rihanna sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher or a duck trapped in your neighbor’s apartment. She doesn’t make sense as much as she makes noise, commuting a story not through words, but phonetic shapings that sound something like words left out in the rain, their definition bleeding out into each other until there is nothing but a string of guttural utterances set to a pulsating beat. It’s even more pronounced on other tracks on her album “Anti,” like “Desperado” and “Woo,” where one sound elides into the next and the listener has no idea what Rihanna is talking about. Is she too lazy to enunciate? Too emotionally bereft to elucidate? Or too far out that she’s speaking some sort of alien tongue that she’s making up as she goes along, like Björk or Khaleesi?

Dan Ozzi is a completely pedestrian writer with an entirely disagreeable way of putting his personality in his articles.

o t m

guttural utterances

Great name for a punk band.

ahaha so bret easton ellis' "epic rant" about "sjws" that's going around was a defense of that sky ferreira la weekly piece. which, since i just scrolled down to the bottom of it, namechecks a BEE novel.

two of them

that rihanna graf is pretty fucking low

"why is this pavarotti guy always yelling? and save the italian for your pizza parties"

brian moylan's hands should be cut off

Imagine saying a black person was "post-verbal" and was making "guttural utterances" at literally any other job and see if you were still employed the next day

Presidential nominee?

there's a new Britney album coming so this thread will probably be the gold rush for a while

christ every time bret easton ellis opens his mouth in 2016 it's like a present-day unironic music cue of "Oh Yeah"

who is Brian Moylan and why does he get paid to write about stuff he clearly does not understand or know anything about

Writer for hire, @GuardianUS TV columnist, @Vulture Real Housewives anthropologist. Proud Mustached American.

xp to Whiney, you missed "too lazy to enunciate"

should have made that post verbal

whoops http://www.nme.com/news/nme/95553

10 White Things Frank Ocean Made His Own on Blonde
http://www.vulture.com/2016/08/on-oceans-blonde-whites-just-another-color.html

"With its swinging rhythm and rich melodic bassline, “Pink + White” isn’t all that “white,” culturally speaking. But by choosing such a title for a song (as opposed to, say, the “black and yellow” also mentioned in the song), the artist is sending a signal. The word “white” featured twice on the tracklisting is as close as you’ll get to a clear indicator from Frank that whiteness is a prominent theme on the album — we probably wouldn’t have noticed otherwise."

Whether he’s the tragic warrior-hero of pre–Christian Germanic myth, one-half of a gay duo whose Las Vegas stage performances prominently featured white tigers and white lions, or a character who wields a sword as tall as himself in the fighting game series Soulcalibur (which Frank cited on Nostalgia, Ultra), there’s no doubt that Siegfried, as a name, is as white as it gets.

'that's gotta mean somethin, right? right??'

just look at how tall ("white") that sword is

This is probably just viral advertising for Reductionist Racial Semiotics Bingo, coming soon to Urban Outfitters

no time even to actually bullshit anymore -- just grab all the signifiers you can find and sprint to press

Cheating because this is just something I found in the bowels of rateyourmusic, not professional, but

The Stooges - Fun House
I hate it because I hate men. No, I hate it because I hate white men. No, I hate it because I hate masculinity, period. This record does indeed have balls but when did those ever do anyone any good?

Iggy is so violently HETEROSEXUAL and MANLY he literally makes me sick a bit in the pit of my stomach. I literally am filled with intense loathing every time I see him or hear his cocksure macho man caterwauling. This shit is as bad as the Brainbombs or any power electronics you can name for sheer male supremacist wank fantasy material, I don't even know why I single out the Stooges because rock 'n' roll itself is built upon white male supremacy but the Stooges may actually be rock 'n' roll incarnate and therefore make themselves such a huge target for all of hatred of that shit I have inside. IT SWAGGERS. I can't hear the opening riff without being terrified about someone being beaten or raped: this IS incredibly visceral music, but as someone who knows (second-hand, thank god) the violence and evil inherent in the heart of Man it isn't some fun boozy thrill ride, it's repugnant and soul-hurting and deeply fucked. Maybe I'm projecting my own issues with masculinity (heaven knows I have them!) on this record in order to exorcise my hatred by crucifying it in print, but I guess the point here is, again, everyone praising this record as a monolith of abject misanthropic and implicit violence is totally 100% correct and if they ENJOY it for that reason, then more power to them but it seems a microcosm of everything I hate about literally everything, an unwholesome fascist putrescence that crept from the underbelly of the biggest beast the human race has ever had to face.

I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard but w/e I'll talk about that in a thousand other reviews to come.

I don't even know why I single out the Stooges because rock 'n' roll itself is built upon white male supremacy but the Stooges may actually be rock 'n' roll incarnate

obviously hasn't been following this thread, Klosterman already predicted that the only rock n roll anyone will know about 100 years from now is Chuck Berry

just a bunch of 10 yr olds playing "my dingaling" on recorder in music class probably

I'll talk about that in a thousand other reviews to come.

PLEASE DON'T

I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard
I'm a hypocrite of course because I dig the Ol Dirty Bastard

That's a good review

Apart from calling rock and roll white, obv

yeah I'm charmed by its incoherence tbh, also the more the writer said they hated Fun House the less I believed them

What potentialities does this have? How can it most productively literally strive against its own literally reactionary marketing & literally outmoded* orthodoxies?

*They're literally outmoded. Deal.

;_;

"So it is that the Millennial Whoop evokes a kind of primordial sense that everything will be alright. You know these notes. You’ve heard this before. There’s nothing out of the ordinary or scary here. You don’t need to learn the words or know a particular language or think deeply about meaning. You’re safe. In the age of climate change and economic injustice and racial violence, you can take a few moments to forget everything and shout with exuberance at the top of your lungs. Just dance and feel how awesome it is to be alive right now. Wa-oh-wa-oh."

the arpeggio was in fact invented by millennials for their pop soma

Just dance and feel how awesome it is to be alive right now.

cf. the entire history of music

every micro-generation imagines itself as less frivolous than the next