England won't get relegated from the World Cup - anticipate two years of The Big Sam delivering the international module here

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@richardajkeys
Big Sam is the man then! Excellent. Now we can get our game back - re-discover our English DNA. Be English - not whatever is fashionable.

Matt DC, Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:37 (seven years ago) link

ein reich, ein volk, ein groß Sam

Guangchang, thank you man (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:38 (seven years ago) link

A Real Brexit Manager

24 Hour Sex Ban Man (Tom D.), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:48 (seven years ago) link

Really looking forward to Ricardo Vaz Te and Mohamed Diame suddenly discovering an English grandmother.

Matt DC, Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:51 (seven years ago) link

funny, my memory of england's performance at the euros was that it was extremely english and not at all fashionable

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 21 July 2016 11:55 (seven years ago) link

lol which satirical site?

Guangchang, thank you man (Noodle Vague), Monday, 25 July 2016 15:46 (seven years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Sam Allardyce 'concerned' by Joe Hart situation

Herodotus Reading (Noodle Vague), Monday, 22 August 2016 19:44 (seven years ago) link

Remembering all those times a peturbed tony soprano beats on the barman

poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Monday, 22 August 2016 21:59 (seven years ago) link

No way SNA: Sam Allardyce does not rule out England return for John Terry https://t.co/w4LaTEpYvL By @JamieJackson___ https://t.co/BG5TadjpHD

Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 22 August 2016 22:11 (seven years ago) link

"I don’t know what the political side might mean, if there is a political"

http://emojipedia-us.s3.amazonaws.com/cache/db/d5/dbd57bcbb3fff7245025a39061012200.png

Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 22 August 2016 22:13 (seven years ago) link

god ebjt comeback would be delicious

ælərdaɪs (jim in vancouver), Monday, 22 August 2016 23:06 (seven years ago) link

getting myself into an allardycean mindset i can't help but think that terry's legs may not be what they used to be, but his reading of the game can compensate for that, he also has the heart of a lion. reckon he can still do a job

ælərdaɪs (jim in vancouver), Monday, 22 August 2016 23:11 (seven years ago) link

Goalkeepers: Fraser Forster (Southampton), Joe Hart (Manchester City), Tom Heaton (Burnley).

Defenders: Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Nathaniel Clyne (Liverpool), Phil Jagielka (Everton), Danny Rose (Tottenham Hotspur), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), Chris Smalling (Manchester United), John Stones (Manchester City), Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur).

Midfielders: Dele Alli (Tottenham Hotspur), Michail Antonio (West Ham United), Eric Dier (Tottenham Hotspur), Danny Drinkwater (Leicester City), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), Adam Lallana (Liverpool), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United), Raheem Sterling (Manchester City), Theo Walcott (Arsenal).

Strikers: Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur), Daniel Sturridge (Liverpool), Jamie Vardy (Leicester City).

r|t|c, Sunday, 28 August 2016 19:02 (seven years ago) link

recall watching antonio at the valley, playing on the left. "don't let him cut inside, he's only got one trick."

tbfttl he did score using that trick, but international defenders ought to have a lot of fun marking him. he's mostly a set-piece threat at top level

imago, Sunday, 28 August 2016 19:18 (seven years ago) link

Never learn, never change

Ben Lincowank (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 28 August 2016 20:25 (seven years ago) link

i'm still gutted he wasnt able to pick steven nzonzi over mark noble, would have been the best ever

r|t|c, Sunday, 28 August 2016 20:50 (seven years ago) link

"We did have a call, it would have been of interest to me and we did explore it. He’s very good and never got the credit he deserves because of his size.

'Being too big can be a hindrance to a footballer because they think their feet are not as clever and they’re not as mobile or sharp.

‘But [playing for England] was impossible. The issue is dead now.’

r|t|c, Sunday, 28 August 2016 21:01 (seven years ago) link

The 'too big', a mythical category always considered folklore by experts on the subject until today's events

poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Sunday, 28 August 2016 22:06 (seven years ago) link

Allardyce inquiring about the availability of Steven Nzonzi is everything I wanted from this era and more.

Matt DC, Monday, 29 August 2016 09:56 (seven years ago) link

Captain Hendo

Number None, Monday, 29 August 2016 17:21 (seven years ago) link

Big Sam will hand Dier what he considers to be his team’s most pivotal role – as the holding midfielder in front of the back four.

Sam makes no secret of his belief that Dier was born to the job he is giving him. He said: “What a player, eh? Like a Campo or a Hierro. He’s got that vibe.”

r|t|c, Monday, 29 August 2016 17:27 (seven years ago) link

eric's got it... jordan's got it.... little cute aaliyah's got it

r|t|c, Monday, 29 August 2016 17:29 (seven years ago) link

perfect

ælərdaɪs (jim in vancouver), Monday, 29 August 2016 22:16 (seven years ago) link

https://vine.co/v/5ePDJHrAvvg

r|t|c, Tuesday, 30 August 2016 06:34 (seven years ago) link

Small details make a big difference, according to Allardyce. Little things like rebranding around St George’s Park with graphics - including slogans like The Journey Begins Here in the main foyer- and the Three Lions crest on the lifts in the hotel in the Burton HQ.

Allardyce was chatting in the Ron Greenwood Room just after giving a press conference to name his first squad. “The Ron Greenwood Room? All the names here inspire me. I am staying in the Sir Bobby Charlton Suite,” said Allardyce.

“Do you think there might be a Sam Allardyce Suite here one day? I hope so. You never know do you? I suppose it depends on how well I do over the next two years."

r|t|c, Tuesday, 30 August 2016 09:05 (seven years ago) link

"I didn’t call [Barkley and Wilshere], no. I think that I have always been the type of manager who has made the selections.

"You then think about how much time do you spend on the phone? Will he answer the phone, should I leave a message, should I WhatsApp them?"

r|t|c, Tuesday, 30 August 2016 09:07 (seven years ago) link

I love that he actually asked himself whether he thought there might one day be a suite named after him, then answered with modest uncertainty.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 09:38 (seven years ago) link

So far it's looking like this is going to be every bit as funny as expected.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 09:39 (seven years ago) link

“Then we’ve got the Club England, which is the business end of what we do before we get to training, then we go down to the facility, two identities where they are can chill out, relax amongst themselves, play table tennis, pool.

Think Sam has a future in the leisure industry.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 09:42 (seven years ago) link

I don't even care about the results, I just hope he never gets fired from this job.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 30 August 2016 10:22 (seven years ago) link

^^^

he's always been a Sports Science Bro at heart

Len Bincowank (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 11:18 (seven years ago) link

is it really such a big deal that there's fucking table tennis and a pool in the new big sam modular relaxation unit? didn't they always stay in a fucking hotel? you'd have to assume the fa have tended to break the booking.com bank out for a hotel with at least a small swimming pool?

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 11:19 (seven years ago) link

I don't even care about the results, I just hope he never gets fired from this job.

There really is such an air of Cameron-pig-day-revelation joy to the whole thing. I hope he's manager forever.

Gravel Puzzleworth, Tuesday, 30 August 2016 11:26 (seven years ago) link

i kind of like him. i mean he's obv a bellend but i guess i'm 51 to 49 in favour of him doing really well, if he doesn't do really well i guess i'd like to see him do horrendously badly. i don't want him to go gently into that good night either way.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 11:28 (seven years ago) link

No fear of that given the job

poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 11:59 (seven years ago) link

id love to see big sam do tremendously well as England manager, basically anything shy of a championship

ælərdaɪs (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 30 August 2016 16:21 (seven years ago) link

whoops that was just meant to be the image..haven't read the article yet

pandemic, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 13:44 (seven years ago) link

why would england not pick an england-qualified player for their team based on... his not being english is it? the colour of his skin? feels incredibly post-brexit. don't recall people talking this way when januzaj was supposed to be good.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:07 (seven years ago) link

There was some difference in views on whether Arteta should have been picked for (or rather offered a place with) England a few years ago IIRC, but it seems like a non-issue to me (ie you should pick the best available team, obv).

Tim, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 14:43 (seven years ago) link

i am against over-18 residency qualification, it is my Uncool Conservative Belief sorry

r|t|c, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 15:48 (seven years ago) link

just international football wise i mean

r|t|c, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 15:49 (seven years ago) link

tbh i do like how it's just part of sam firmly having his bolton wanderers hat back on though. if he can find mario jardel's english great great nan then i'm on board

r|t|c, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 15:58 (seven years ago) link

never too late to call up manuel almunia as i recall was on the cards for a while

lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 31 August 2016 16:01 (seven years ago) link

Alex McCarthy replaces Fraser Forster in England squad

members-only club england at its finest

r|t|c, Thursday, 1 September 2016 14:18 (seven years ago) link

wait

the one who played at the valley the other day for southampton u23s and who didn't save a penalty in the shootout

imago, Thursday, 1 September 2016 14:20 (seven years ago) link

A whole 10 league appearances in the last two seasons, England's future is in safe hands.

Aw naw, no' Annoni oan an' aw noo (Tom D.), Thursday, 1 September 2016 14:49 (seven years ago) link

"Winning is what we want. If the nation thinks that's the only thing we can have to make us feel better, we'll try. But personally, if we get a draw from the most difficult game of the group, I'll be happy."

expectation management at its finest

you can't drowned a duck (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 September 2016 15:36 (seven years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CteBgJTXgAAyDKY.jpg

aaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhhh

r|t|c, Wednesday, 28 September 2016 20:57 (seven years ago) link

at a branch of Pret a Manger in west London, on August 25, Hasselbaink discussed terms as he sipped a cup of green tea

Blandford Forum, Wednesday, 28 September 2016 20:59 (seven years ago) link

EXCLUSIVE CHINESE INCURSION INTO THE EFL

i bill everything i duck (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 28 September 2016 21:01 (seven years ago) link

Meanwhile, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, the manager of Queens Park Rangers, another Championship side, was filmed agreeing to represent the same firm by flying to the Far East to talk to investors for £55,000 a time.

He appeared open to the idea of signing players owned by the firm, despite the possibility of a conflict of interest. He told undercover reporters posing as representatives of the company: “Give me a ----ing player. A good player.”

calzino, Wednesday, 28 September 2016 21:02 (seven years ago) link

could i read the article please

r|t|c, Wednesday, 28 September 2016 21:02 (seven years ago) link

nm i got it

r|t|c, Wednesday, 28 September 2016 21:05 (seven years ago) link

have the FA sacked Allardyce on the basis of evidence that they don't currently believe is sufficient to remove any other manager?

just checking

Still D.U.C.K. (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 October 2016 00:11 (seven years ago) link

yes, but tbh i actually do agree that the national manager isn't any other manager

r|t|c, Saturday, 1 October 2016 08:34 (seven years ago) link

just mourning my lost prince

don't even see how this was a duck (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 October 2016 08:36 (seven years ago) link

Rooney in midfield and Lingard on the wing bcos, as Southgate put it "He's in a good moment with his form". Paddy Power offering 75/1 on a nil-nil, may lump on a few quid just for lols

Windsor Davies, Saturday, 8 October 2016 15:37 (seven years ago) link

Southgate is such a gentleman he's clearly establishing his "unfit for the job" credentials nice and early

legitimate concerns about ducks (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 8 October 2016 16:03 (seven years ago) link

nah, Rashford will come on and rescue it xpost

Lingard is a strange one. His supporters praise his "movement", which tbf is probably superior to most of the statuesque fuckers Utd have up front, but he regularly goes through entire games without having any direct positive influence. And then every ten games or so he'll pop up with something like the Cup final or Charity Shield goal.

Managers seem to like him because he does as he's told and runs around a lot, and Southgate obviously knows him well from the u-21s

Number None, Saturday, 8 October 2016 16:03 (seven years ago) link

So it would appear that England are still shite but, worry not, for, according to Tyldesley, 'two or three' of the goals Scotland scored against Malta were 'fortuitous'.

(SNIFFING AND INDISTINCT SOBBING) (Tom D.), Saturday, 8 October 2016 17:50 (seven years ago) link

wish i'd watched this now, sounds funny

legitimate concerns about ducks (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 9 October 2016 09:35 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1txLJu5BBsA

Number None, Sunday, 9 October 2016 14:38 (seven years ago) link

^ benched

groovypanda, Monday, 10 October 2016 12:03 (seven years ago) link

He should not expect a great deal of sympathy but in the grand scheme of managerial scandals it is certainly a few notches down from the passage in Joey Barton’s newly released autobiography about the “creative accounting” of one manager (though not one, he says, he ever played under) whose “speciality was making late substitutions on the understanding his assistant would later collect a percentage of the player’s match fee”. That manager, according to Barton, was infamous for giving homegrown players their debuts, sometimes just for a few minutes, so the academy director would collect a bonus, to be split again. The manager would re-sign players he had worked with at other clubs and take a cut from them, too – paid monthly, and invariably in cash.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, September 28, 2016 7:27 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Who?

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, September 28, 2016 7:28 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Redknapp surely

― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Wednesday, September 28, 2016 7:52 AM (one week ago)

I've heard rumours of this type around Warnock for years.

Matt DC, Monday, 10 October 2016 12:46 (seven years ago) link

when he was at Town he fell out with the chairman over some misunderstood verbal agreement for him to have his own club merchandise shop in the town centre .. the bloody shameless grifter!

calzino, Monday, 10 October 2016 13:18 (seven years ago) link

jason puncheon was fined 15k for publicly accusing him of the re-signed player racket, but homegrown debuts doesnt really check out - given maybe like five in the last decade iirc

r|t|c, Monday, 10 October 2016 14:29 (seven years ago) link

also worth asking yourself what % of every substitution you've ever seen in your life was purely of sporting motivation - clubs paying less if they come on after 60 mins etc

r|t|c, Monday, 10 October 2016 14:50 (seven years ago) link

Wayne Rooney has a massive bench coat on as he sidles up alongside Jamie Vardy in the dugout. He's having a laugh and a joke. He'll be hoping to have an effect from there.

he's supposed to be sitting at one end of the bench but he's moved to the middle.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 11 October 2016 18:47 (seven years ago) link

kyle walker just hit the worst cross of all time

imago, Tuesday, 11 October 2016 19:29 (seven years ago) link

Hang on dude I've seen Theo Walcott play

legitimate concerns about ducks (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 11 October 2016 19:38 (seven years ago) link

Walcott hasn't walker's consistency

the kids are alt right (darraghmac), Tuesday, 11 October 2016 23:24 (seven years ago) link

cue frantic phone calls to Bruce this morning before he takes the Villa job

legitimate concerns about ducks (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 October 2016 06:23 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

https://twitter.com/JohnSalako/status/798643534202974209

r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 November 2016 10:29 (seven years ago) link

Worst tweet since Piers Morgan on the day OBL bought it.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 16 November 2016 11:06 (seven years ago) link

merciful god

his deflected shot saved us from losing at home to non-league daggers when we were premier league tho so he's a bit forgiven

imago, Wednesday, 16 November 2016 11:07 (seven years ago) link

Remembrance Sunday. Thank you for paying the Ultimate sacrifice for us. God Save The Queen.

The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Wednesday, 16 November 2016 11:10 (seven years ago) link

Gets bodied in stan collymore's autobiog iirc

more like dork enlightenment lol (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 16 November 2016 15:04 (seven years ago) link

collymore is CARD's press champion too, weirdly. the white knight to save us all

imago, Wednesday, 16 November 2016 15:18 (seven years ago) link


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