OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

the best part is how half the time it says Beyoncé and half the time it just says Beyonce

(also, I promised myself I'd spend less time criticizing other people's writing, but this is so cynical and empty and blatant an attempt to waste readers' time and divert them away from good artistry that it's infuriating. at least What Time Is The Super Bowl told you what time the goddamn Super Bowl was!)

The answer to that question is a little difficult for many fans to answer because, well, neither Jay Z or Beyoncé seem to know a Becky. Neither of them have mentioned one in a song before, nor have they ever been connected to a person named Becky. The only celebrity who has been connected with a Becky in any big way in the news would be Taylor Swift, i.e. in 2014 when she wore that no its Becky shirt in response to that famous internet meme in which someone purposefully confused a picture of her with that of their friend Becky. Of course, the chances of Taylor Swift being "Becky with the good hair" is pretty slim to none. She does have good hair, but she doesn't spend much time hanging out with Beyoncé or Jay Z.

obligatory youtube here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcKG4EJ6rsQ

Brad that quote made my brain bleed.

classic becky

this just seems like someone straight up trolling certain ilm posters

http://metro.co.uk/2016/04/24/people-think-james-blake-is-the-true-star-of-beyonces-lemonade-5837280/

Not a piece of writing, but I thought this exchange was worth preserving:

@leahfinnegan: nyt really needs a female music critic
@alexrossmusic: Is classical music "music"? If so, meet @CorinnadFW and @VivSchweitzer
@leahfinnegan: @alexrossmusic @CorinnadFW @VivSchweitzer point missed but thanks
@alexrossmusic: @leahfinnegan @CorinnadFW @VivSchweitzer I see your point, and am making another.

http://www.npr.org/2016/04/25/475288644/songs-we-love-nite-jewel-kiss-the-screen

there's some OK stuff in this piece, but there are also a bunch of sentences that make me think the author does not know what words mean.

e.g.

...performed her Nite Jewel alias as an equalizer between herself and the listener rather than a salable object of desire....

They're fascinating, headspace-oriented compositions with poptimist touch tones for hooks, and the freedom Gonzalez found to mix and record as she saw fit permeates the songs' breezy production....

The liberty to move and work comfortably gave Gonzalez a way to construct a dubious, vaporous record that sits outside of the facile labels that circulate the music industry....

The final graf doesn't have any obvious howlers but advances an argument that doesn't really make any sense to me.

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/04/merle-haggard-country-music-reagan/

Haggard always sang with a furrowed brow and lolling eyes. As a young man this habit seemed flirtatious, but as he aged it made him look paranoid and sad, perpetually puppy-dogging at every camera he encountered. For some, he seemed an end-times prophet of the waning era of American prosperity, talking straight and offering potent warnings of decline.

But in reality, he was just a run-of-the-mill conservative — for Merle, the keepers of the status quo were under constant attack, and he was a fierce defender of their privilege.

He was also a hypocrite, or maybe just confused.

fuck u commie rag

a fairly lengthy takedown of that: http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2016/04/jacobin-walking-on-the-fighting-side-of-me

Looks like Haggard's death has spawned quite a bit of poorly-composed vitriol. The response to the Jacobin piece is pretty spectacular, though.

Meanwhile, here's this one, which is indefensible from the get-go...

Jacobin is a joke.

it's nice when jacobin hands me another reason to ignore them

NIce to see Haggard used as a pivot point for completely opposed ideological factions.

"Long before “Netflix & Chill” was synonymous with sloppy Tinder finger-banging on a loveseat gifted from a family friend, Netflix was actually a different frontier altogether."

A DIFFERENT ONE ALTOGETHER!

https://medium.com/swlh/choice-the-new-democracy-of-music-c2b9fa83f72e#.2jolch89p

going by that quoted line I was surprised that wasn't av club tbh

it's true, though, netflix was indeed a different frontier. for instance, it was once a weed-smoking elmo avatar named qwikster

Do we have a thread for awful interviews?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/post/idsa.88faafb5-1c3a-11e6-8352-477931e7a37d

Who needs to do research when you have that Apple cash I guess.

awful interviews have been Ebro's niche for a long time

I mean its Interview magazine so maybe it doesn't count but

TINA WEYMOUTH: Yeah, there is a very mature approach in Dreamland, where Natalie sings, "there's no use crying." I thought, "Wow, if only our Middle Eastern brethren knew that," that the wailing and the smashing of teeth is not the way to go, but rather dreaming, and out of dreams comes a much better reality.

http://www.interviewmagazine.com/music/wild-belle-dreamland#_

hmm http://www.alternativenation.net/the-importance-of-music-in-entertainment/

We are all the NPR intern now:
www.mtv.com/news/2888213/de-la-soul-listening/

http://www.mtv.com/news/2888213/de-la-soul-listening/

oh man whiney i totally made myself stop and not post that...

it just seemed like a shooting fish in an internet barrel kinda thing. like with those old pitch things on pitchfork. and then people would tell me that the person who wrote it is only 15 and has started a non-profit meals on wheels group and isn't a real music writer or something and that i'm mean.

but it does totally suck.

I can be pretty hard to please with certain musical aesthetics, and rap music prior to ‘92 — the year I was born, of course — is something I’ve struggled with a lot in my life.

Never has a sentence so disqualified a music writer from deserving my attention

jesus fucking christ there are timestamps?

that is fucking dire

Perhaps I’ll give De La Soul another listen someday. I can feel the roots of music I should enjoy, but it just didn’t connect today. Right now, I’m gonna go listen to ATC’s eurodance classic “Around the World” and keep praying for the weekend.

i think i'm gonna listen to 3 feet high just in solidarity and time stamp my own responses with bagels

jesus fucking christ there are timestamps?

― who is extremely unqualified to review this pop album (BradNelson), Friday, June 3, 2016 1:42 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Of course there are; how else would we be able to pinpoint exactly where the bagel is in his digestive tract?

same author

http://www.mtv.com/news/2879987/why-ill-never-leave-drake/

I feel like we've reached un-peak music writing. Who is good that's left in the game?

finally found a DN i'm willing to wear

poor guy is gonna get older and better (i hope) and this is gonna be very embarrassing for him.

you guys, it's TOO easy.

it's like picking up a high school newspaper and saying get a load of THIS guy...

Counterpoint: you guys are old and weird and that piece is more or less on the money

yes it really engages with the album and has interesting things to say about generational displacement

He engages with the album by saying it's a chore to listen to in 2016, which it is

it's like picking up a high school newspaper and saying get a load of THIS guy...

Yeah, but it's also like if RS or somesuch published a piece in 1969 along the lines of "Count Basie?! Whadda cornball! His trumpets sound like ducks!"

i hear you scott but it's MTV News... and we heard it first.

He engages with the album by saying it's a chore to listen to in 2016, which it is

it is absolutely more of a chore than views, i think we're saying the same thing. see you at loud yoga

counterpoint to your counterpoint: i'm listening to it now and 3 feet high and rising sounds fucking fresh in the new millennium

prince paul rules, next gen media drools

wow i can't believe this young person likes young people music and not old fogey music

The J0rdan S. listening club

still waiting on his Spawn OST liveblog :(

it is absolutely more of a chore than views,

wait what?