My momma made me learn this song: a gay Winter for 2015

Hello gays, I

- haven't smoked a cig since New Year's
- have an ass that makes contact with the seat of my pants now
- am back in the problematic poly situation that nearly killed me/my relationship last year but this time armed with self-esteem and better communication skills
- am going to see a Chinese doctor
- am playing Wind Waker again
- am reading Nazim Hizmet, Robert Glück, Tolstoy shorts and the Carrie Brownstein book
- am going to Sundance
- am feeling full of light and life and love

nice. cigarettes suck and asses are great.

um are you at sundance in an official musical capacity, if you don't mind me asking?

Yeahhhhh *smiles in front of mirror* "A blessing and an inspiration" *tries again* "A blessing and an inspiration"

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lie7oxgbRG1qay58d.jpg

"A blessing and an inspiration" *tries again* "A blessing and an inspiration"

i am unfamiliar w/ the concept of an ass that does NOT make contact with the seat of one's pants; diagram, please.

you certainly have a lot of thoughts on butts Jordan xo

Any tips on the most graceful, non-awkward or, hell, even the funniest way to tell a friend from your closeted days that you've recently reconnected with that you are not only gay but, in fact, married?

Dinner for two at a quiet restaurant that turns into hilarious flash mob style musical performance.

Last night was:

https://usresponserestoration.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/cullinan-ranch-first-levee-breach-2015-1-6_noaa_clip.gif

some nights are!

last night was a backhoe?

muddy?

j/k though i did spend like way too long contemplating what "a washout" could entail

last night was... torrential

i mean, i downloaded a lot of torrents

lol

haha

we just had a torrential downpour. it's a lovely day. i haven't been so happy to see a Sunday in a while, and i'm not afraid to say it

last night was a backhoe?

― clouds, Saturday, January 9, 2016 5:38 PM (

the levee broke after two months

i was at an annual post-holiday party last night, walked from the subway in the rain at 3:30. now need to buy an umbrella. erotic highlight was when someone asked me to explain to his friend why Trump will not be president.

that sounds delightful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nWtKf4a0Hk

i'm going out

i don't know what shirt to wear

you haven't got a stitch to wear?

the Williamsburg DJ thing my friend does is of course B*wie-themed tonight, so maybe i should let surm make me up.

if you don't paint the aladdin sane lightning bolt on yr face y're already ahead of most i'd imagine.

crashed from fatigue at 10:45 from shit sleep, never made it. thank you again, meds.

(otoh, never loved Bowie.)

say no to themed parties in 2016

i'm sure it wasn't a lot more than playing the records, they don't usually do that kinda stuff. A few attendees mighta put on their red shoes.

oh the Mattachine night at Julius' on Thursday will be Bowieesque. It's probably already too crowded.

The mention of director Philippe Garrel in one of the film threads reminded me of son Louis' bit in Saint Laurent a couple years ago. I was like 0_o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO1r6dm_az8

Louis Garrel! *sighs*

can someone please create gifloops of the best scenes from "Ma Mere" and "Les Amants Reguliers"?

sometimes he looks like he stepped out of a Bougereau painting and sometimes he looks lol goth but ugh ultimate crush object

astronauts r sexy

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CZRYyWIUMAAqKiR.jpg:large

Saint Laurent was last year for US. Poll eligible.

He also goes gay in Christopher Honore's Love Songs.

Good luck w/ the snow-in, tune. I have about 18 DVDs from the library stacked, along with Bowie's early '70s diet of milk and coke.

Hello

The doc I scored just premiered at Sundance. I wasn't so excited because the music was specified to be like indie landfill and I delivered! oh boy did I ever! but the music was so appropriate for the doc and the whole experience was so moving and everybody was crying. Doc was about Bindle & Keep, the NYC tailoring firm that caters to everyone, but specifically suits for the genderqueer and transgendered. I got applauded and producer Lena Dunham said nice things to me at dinner and also from the stage.

But also

I’ve had a recurring nightmare this past year of coming home to find people in my house having sex. “Nightmare” not because I’m anti-sex, or have an issue with people having sex without me, but rather there’s this crazy feeling of “how do I work this?” when it’s your house, people you know and love, and there is no place for you.

The problem is haha that this nightmare has been real, and recurring. I’ve tried to be modern about it all, and deal with it. But basically, this poly situation went so terribly wrong, me trying to be cool and fun and OK with the fact that the three people I loved most in life don’t actually want me around. My smoking habit has ballooned, not because of actual nicotine addiction, but because there is no place for me. The only place I can go is out for a cigarette, or to the kitchen to cook a meal.

The problem is mine, and the solution is clear. I need to get out of this situation and into one where I am welcome, where there is a place for me. I can't be with my boyfriend any more he doesn't understand how much this situation has fucked me up and he doesn't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix it.. I've fixed my self-esteem issues since last summer and my only feeling now is "I deserve so much better than this". Ghosted the other couple, they are good people but our relationship is toxic.

I need to get out of here.. familiar places incl. family places are no good because I've been with my bf for 13 years and everybody loves him. I still have so much work and can't really be anywhere without like a piano or whatever, I need to be around friends, I don't know I don't know what to do.

Is peacing tf out for like 2+ weeks an option? Like an actual isolated retreat/vacation-type thing where you don't work on work and you don't contact bf? It sounds so v cheesy, I know, and I know you and I are diff in a lot of ways and respond to diff types of stimuli and environments and whatnot, but when I left Philly/NJ for 4 months and traveled it was v rejuvenating and I came home w/ a greater sense of self and purpose. I don't know if traveling solo is the means by which you would accomplish this end, but I really want a similar type of rejuvenation for you and I think it would be so great!

i really love this snow

fgti, you know what not to do at least... Can you decamp to a friend's place for awhile to do your work?

wishing you the best to get through this, fella

i don't like the swamps around every intersection, surm, which was actually the subject of a NYT op-ed today. That this City, above all, puts pedestrians last is obscene.

ok that is true

Sorry for the AAAAAAA posts but it's gotten really bad! Panic attacks! No sleep be nightmares! And in ghosting the other couple I've lost two of my best friends ;_; for whom I've typically relied upon for emotional support but in this case are no help because they are a contributing factor!

I think I'm gonna actually read some literature for straights about how to "get over an affair" because that's essentially what I'm dealing with, feeling sidelined for for my boyfriend's intimacy

Also I think I may sell some shit I don't need and go to Rome

go to rome!

J0rdan otm

Prob will!

Actually had a sudden breakthrough, "sudden" more like after six days of intense insanity (and eight months of emotional abuse), which ran something like "what has this man ever done to deserve to be called my brother"

It's amazing how heartlessness looks so shitty from the outside but feels so good from within

D4n S4vage just followed me on Twitter for some reason, what do I do

ask if his kid has begun rebelling against his annoying smug ass

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/y2PtsSKE4mY/maxresdefault.jpg

Go to Rome. Will you. Go to Rome.

i have seen a few guys lately with mixed results - ! i guess it's up and down eh

also v Clarissa Vaughn fwiw

i'm in a highschool hair stage, like it flips out and up in the front

how do we feel about this?

Two new additions to my lexicon:

Young men who act cute but are not? Twaren'ts.
Men who aren't cute or young and never were? Tweren'ts.

my name is twight've been

just bypassing spring, eh inverts?

I can't bypass spring w/out recording my reunion with rev last week in Seattle:

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/13048166_10154500491216494_6701929456220755378_o_zpsbesdobz1.jpg

sweet