make up some fake, inscrutable adages and post them here

Bees knees are overrated.

When the beast kneels, the feast begins!

demi lovato and wilder valderrama's dog 'spawn' died, he was fez on tv

Show me a person that understands fractions, and I'll show you a really neat piece of ice

A really neat piece of ice doesn't last forever, so try to get other people to look at it while it still exists

as long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit

if you're not going to wash it, don't expect anybody to eat it

when a banana loses its peel, it gains what it lost in elasticity

a real man doesn't see with his eyes - he dances with them

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is to explain what was so neat about a piece of ice that wasn't documented properly before it completely melted

When passing through a dark moment in time, one must always remember to bring a flashlight. and the right batteries for the flashlight.

don't step on a crack
Or Aunt Jemima will no longer be Black

the worm turns easier through an apple

An owl in the hand doesnt give a hoot.

Even a toad avoids a sleeping rat.

The owl sings the other birds to sleep.

When the rose is in the arbor, the ship stays in the harbor.

Fool me thrice: neat piece of ice!

Pontius Pilate
Would have been a Pirate
But for want of an "Rrrrrrr!"

When the rose is in the arbor, the ship stays in the harbor.

Is this about sex?

what do you think?

Three pennies are enough to gild a pig.

If I whine, I am pine
If I purr, I am fir
If I creak, I am teak
If I crash, I am ash
If I screech, I am beech
If I lurch, I am birch
If I spoke, I am oak

if it's long, bulbous and thick
make sure it's zucchini
and not a dick

You can't burn a fork.

Yawn at the dawn
Be right at the right

when the heedless boar disturbs the beehive, many oxen suffer also

Dead Libyans make poor allies.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 10 February 2016 22:55 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

blood doesn't pool in a broken limb

if foxes had orchards, assholes would work

No one will appreciate your really neat piece of ice, so enjoy it on your own terms, alone

^ pithy!

Over the years I have learned much from the cube

When a loved one dies, don't be sad
Cos you can take their stuff

Always listen to your parents
And get a stenographer to write it down
Then later in life, when they're on their deathbeds
Body them with their lies

and take their stuff

an ex-gf was incredibly funny w these (she used to do them in the voice of steve earle's character in the wire) but i cannot remember any of them because none of them made enough sense to remember. just remember not being able to breathe.

men seldom make passes, much like inert gases

find a penny on the floor
Ned Beatty will come through your door

If you can't see the forest, you can't hear the tree.

Bodhidharma would have been all over this thread

When the wind blows, the wind knows

One sweater, never better
Two or more, your father's a whore

Red sky at night, shepherds' delight
Red sky in the morning, horrible morning

You dont react to the shark, you react to the other fish in the shoal

remember, when your pants are down around your ankles- that's the time to pull your socks up

when you're in a crater, stop gravitating

No need to make any up, literal translations of extant proverbs from other languages will suffice. To wit:

'Whether you like it or not, drink up the holy water, Gregory!'

'Placenta ahead, war backwards.'

'Like the Turk and his gun.'

Hm, let's see, reckon you can work out what at least one of these is meant to convey

The dog doesn't catch the mouse
Three monks have no water to drink
One turnip, one hole
The candle illuminates others, yet destroys itself
Nine cows and one cow hair

Or the classic "people mountain people sea"

first there is a people then there is no people then there is

if you are a big tree you have a small hand