OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

http://www.npr.org/2015/11/23/457081463/review-adele-25

lol I think I found the operative sentence there

"secretly more popular" is such a crucial phenomenon

― goole, Tuesday, November 24, 2015 11:26 AM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

forgot O'Gara's too!

but yeah I remember walking to my car after playing a Maps of Norway show at The Kitty Cat Club and walking by that fake Irish bar in Dinkytown that used to be BW3s and the windows were open and like 150 kids were jumping up and down while some band of dudes covered "Beverly Hills" by Weezer

Ironically when it was still a Buffalo Wild Wings, I somehow saw a show by the legendary chiptune/Game Boy weirdo Fuckstorm who made horrible noises while a video of Mr. Quintron played on a projection screen.

http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/10-best-albums-of-2015-to-play-in-the-office.html

it's like Talking Heads' "Don't Worry About the Government" in prose form.

oh god listen Carnage the Executioner is a god live performer but sometimes I wish he never would have beatboxed into a loop pedal

its the hand gestures white indie artists adopt when beat-boxing that I can't stand

like, "oh, it seems i have discovered a sole funky limb, let me show it to you"

Lol

hack journo, how the sausage is made

http://news.yahoo.com/rihanna-anti-album-complete-lyrics-191135829.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=tw

screensnaps in case they fix it:

http://imgur.com/a/vLyY5

The album's release comes just a few days after the "Bitch Better Have My Money" singer announced her Anti 2016 world tour with fellow artists Travis Scott, Big Sean and The Weeknd. Anti is [DELETE ONE OF THESE ENDINGS TO THE SENTENCE AND KEEP THE OTHER BASED ON FACTS: streaming exclusively on Tidal before it makes its way over to iTunes and other streaming services OR streaming on Apple Music, Spotify, Tidal and can be purchased on iTunes].

The 27-year-old performer's latest album has [NUMBER OF TRACKS] and its lyrics [HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS] continue the "BBHMM" storyline of an even edgier, freer Rihanna than fans were introduced to in her last album three years ago, Unapologetic. Rihanna especially pushes the edge in [NAME RELEVANT SONG FROM ANTI THAT MATCHES DESCRIPTION], where she sings:

[ LYRICS ]

Ha, was just coming to post that.

it is a shame square brackets cannot be put in display names

lmfaooooooooo

Damn, seems to be down. Eight hours ws a p good run tho

at least they were planning on basing it on facts

Dude who wrote it works at Mic, where it was originally posted, as well as freelances at a couple of other spots. Still hasn't mentioned it at all on FB/Twitter, yet.

it is a shame square brackets cannot be put in display names

agreed, and yet

omg

big fan of this kind of thing in general, local newspapers printing "[DROP IN QUOTE FROM THIS BORING BASTARD]" or something

years and years ago I wrote copy for an award ceremony brochure (I think) and put [CHECK THIS!] next to some assertion or other which ended up getting printed, it looked like I was being my own hypeman

[DELETE ONE OF THESE ENDINGS TO THE SENTENCE AND KEEP THE OTHER BASED ON FACTS]

idgi is this guy leaving messages in square brackets to himself, to check before he submits, or does he actually expect sub-editor to do all this work for him?

I dunno, one the one hand it's embarrassing, but not too terribly damning for the writer. As j says, at least it reveals responsible (if p basic) fact-checking stuff, not something like [remember to actually listen to album, find out who this mysterious "Rihanna" is, etc]. In other words, let s/he who has never riddled a draft with "notes to self" cast the first stone. Now, actually publishing it like that, well that, that I cannot defend.

Of course, I can see how it happened: writer accidentally sent an earlier (I hope MUCH earlier) draft, editor didn't bother to read it, voila. I'd be mortified.

So wait this was a real fuckup? Not a sarcastic commentary on the state of music journalism?

not sure that's really Yahoo News' stock in trade

Amazing

great review

NAME RELEVANT SONG FROM ANTI THAT MATCHES DESCRIPTION

'pushes the edge'

it's like an sql query

I dunno, one the one hand it's embarrassing, but not too terribly damning for the writer. As j says, at least it reveals responsible (if p basic) fact-checking stuff, not something like [remember to actually listen to album, find out who this mysterious "Rihanna" is, etc]. In other words, let s/he who has never riddled a draft with "notes to self" cast the first stone. Now, actually publishing it like that, well that, that I cannot defend.

― Jimmywine Dyspeptic, Friday, November 27, 2015 7:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nah, disagree. Its not the half-finished state, its that there's already a hack-judgment on the music of the album, unheard, just waiting for relevant fill-in-the-blank quotes to validate the already existing narrative.

Also that it pretty clearly shows that articles aren't about covering new info but assembling enough keywords to be first-past-the-post in googlejuice when people are searching for the thing the article _links_ to.

"service journalism"

its that there's already a hack-judgment on the music of the album, unheard, just waiting for relevant fill-in-the-blank quotes to validate the already existing narrative.

yeah but what's the probability the album won't fit the narrative? they may rewrite if the album comes out and it's less edgy and free than Unapologetic, and are just betting that the content will reflect the promo materials

like if i wrote the draft of a financial report before getting official results but with some prior expectation of record setting growth, i may write

This was a record year for the company. Earnings before depreciation and taxes grew by [PERCENTAGE], making this quarter our best since [YEAR].

it's like an sql query

true lol

i guess the "shock" of reading this draft is seeing that music writing is just as perfunctory as any other kind of writing?

Also that it pretty clearly shows that articles aren't about covering new info but assembling enough keywords to be first-past-the-post in googlejuice when people are searching for the thing the article _links_ to.

didn't everyone already know this

didn't everyone already know this

not to blow your mind but most reviews aren't written before the reviewer has heard the album

and if they are, well, they generally deserve to be included within the annals of this thread

oh it's an actual album review? i thought it was just a little news blurb on some aggregator site for when the album drops

no, hang on, you're right - it's nominally a news piece, though again, the writer doesn't seem to know the album well enough to express the shards of opinion without leaving the note to find a song that supports his suppositions later.

I guess this is a common risk with web writing though - did you save the rough first take of a piece on the CMS as a draft as you meant to, or did you actually go through with publishing the thing?

rest in peace, mac mccormick...

"In great measure Lightnin' and his songs reflect the mistreatment which has been and, in lesser degree, is the condition of Negro life. But while reflecting it, Lightnin' is not in any real sense subject to it in the way his neighbors are. Pursued by women of two races, earning upwards of $15,000 a year, and free to exercise all but a fraction of the rights of first class citizenship, his position is hardly comparable to those who stand in a condition of fear and elemental want."

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/12274467_10154362120527137_7640918093203148569_n.jpg?oh=2e695b80d119bed0cc77a68e6e17d523&oe=56ADC6B3

wow, is that in the liners?

yeah. and it gets worse after that.

"As this tribute illustrates, the one single thing which Lightnin' can give is music. Otherwise he has nothing to offer."

"Not to be confused with the great bluesmen who expressed a deeper, universal sorrow..."

he compares him to a clown. and then just rakes him over the coals forever. describes at length the ways in which Lightnin' wouldn't help various family members who needed money. it's brutal.

What a charmer

wow

"As this tribute illustrates, the one single thing which Lightnin' can give is music. Otherwise he has nothing to offer."

hopkins was a notoriously layabout and womanizer and was widely considered to lack elementary loyalty, but... jeez.

mccormick sounds a bit like that stephen calt guy. who is also dead. coincidence?

Calt's a bastard but at least he writes in a way that suggests an education beyond the fifth grade

This is decent from a grammatical/syntactical perspective, but it rivals the Goddess In The Doorway album review for the title of "Most Rolling Stone Article Ever."