OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

It was March 10th, 2011. It was one of those songs that just stopped you in your tracks. Something so different from everything else on the radio at the time that I instantly fell in love. I drove straight to the nearest Target, bought the CD and popped it in my car’s CD player. I can’t say I’ve called many things, but, hell, I called this. Mind you, this was long before the world knew Adele. “Rolling” was still just starting to get played on AAA radio and hadn’t cracked top 40 yet. Go me.

hahahaha so he's patting himself on the back for hearing a song on FM radio and buying a CD at Target, fuckin hipsters man

you know who's gonna be big is this drake kid, i keep hearing about him

oh yeah, i hear he's the next Travi$ $cott

the guy who wrote that article performed at my school and i ended up at his show for some awful reason. anyway here is the kind of music he makes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJWi2qJIfds

wait watch this one instead. it's even worse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vaYaTnqsKg

i always forget now if i had him in a class i taught once or if he just had so many signs up around campus that his name was imprinted on my mind

Ari Herstand Will Teach You Guitar

i always forget now if i had him in a class i taught once or if he just had so many signs up around campus that his name was imprinted on my mind
― j., Monday, November 23, 2015 4:09 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm sure he just played there a ton. his music is like ready-made for suburban college kids 'going to their first concert'

no really i think he was a student

i also think he never showed up and dropped

found his blog

"I became a force on the University of Minnesota campus. From around the time of my CD release to more or less Fall 2009, I was the most popular musician/band on campus. The U has about 40,000 undergraduate students so it wasn't a bad market to start with. My presence on campus was so undeniable that the music editor for the Minnesota Daily felt the need to write three hate pieces on me in one semester. He despised my presence so much that in the Fall of 2008 he included me in the "Freshman Survival Guide" handed out to all incoming freshman and listed me as the #1 of the top 3 worst bands in Minneapolis (the top 3 best bands in his piece are all now virtually defunct). He then wrote a scathing album review of my 2008 release which garnered some of the most comments of any MN Daily piece on the website and finally, I made the cover of the December joke edition next to Lindsay Lohan and the president of the University of Minnesota. My headline? "Surgeons Attempt To Reattach Local Musician's Balls Fails."
As these articles were pouring out from the desk of a writer who will go unnamed, I was filling the 800 person capacity Varsity Theater, had just opened for Ben Folds in front of 3,200 people and had begun my massive college tour making obscene amounts of money. I had received about 30 other positive music reviews/previews that year in papers around the country, but of course, I can pretty much recite the MN Daily's hate pieces word for word."

had begun my massive college tour making obscene amounts of money. I had received about 30 other positive music reviews/previews that year in papers around the country, but of course, I can pretty much recite the MN Daily's hate pieces word for word.

had begun my massive college tour making obscene amounts of money. I had received about 30 other positive music reviews/previews that year in papers around the country, but of course, I can pretty much recite the MN Daily's hate pieces word for word.

had begun my massive college tour making obscene amounts of money. I had received about 30 other positive music reviews/previews that year in papers around the country, but of course, I can pretty much recite the MN Daily's hate pieces word for word.

Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been getting no sleep

As these articles were pouring out from the desk of a writer who will go unnamed

it was you, right????

hahaha that name is vaguely familiar but he's from that like parallel but secretly more popular Mpls music scene of like uh the fine line and the pourhouse and pickle park and playing at u of m frat house spring fling bullshit

wait so that means the AAA radio station he first heard Adele on would have been pre-format change Cities 97.

hmmm...wonder which Target he bought it at? My money's on the Quarry one. Not hardcore like the Lake Street Target but still close enough to Northeast to feel "hip"

oh god listen Carnage the Executioner is a god live performer but sometimes I wish he never would have beatboxed into a loop pedal

hahaha that name is vaguely familiar but he's from that like parallel but secretly more popular Mpls music scene of like uh the fine line and the pourhouse and pickle park and playing at u of m frat house spring fling bullshit

― Amira, Queen of Creativity (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, November 23, 2015 8:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

too real

"secretly more popular" is such a crucial phenomenon

http://www.npr.org/2015/11/23/457081463/review-adele-25

lol I think I found the operative sentence there

"secretly more popular" is such a crucial phenomenon

― goole, Tuesday, November 24, 2015 11:26 AM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

forgot O'Gara's too!

but yeah I remember walking to my car after playing a Maps of Norway show at The Kitty Cat Club and walking by that fake Irish bar in Dinkytown that used to be BW3s and the windows were open and like 150 kids were jumping up and down while some band of dudes covered "Beverly Hills" by Weezer

Ironically when it was still a Buffalo Wild Wings, I somehow saw a show by the legendary chiptune/Game Boy weirdo Fuckstorm who made horrible noises while a video of Mr. Quintron played on a projection screen.

http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/10-best-albums-of-2015-to-play-in-the-office.html

it's like Talking Heads' "Don't Worry About the Government" in prose form.

oh god listen Carnage the Executioner is a god live performer but sometimes I wish he never would have beatboxed into a loop pedal

its the hand gestures white indie artists adopt when beat-boxing that I can't stand

like, "oh, it seems i have discovered a sole funky limb, let me show it to you"

Lol

hack journo, how the sausage is made

http://news.yahoo.com/rihanna-anti-album-complete-lyrics-191135829.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=tw

screensnaps in case they fix it:

http://imgur.com/a/vLyY5

The album's release comes just a few days after the "Bitch Better Have My Money" singer announced her Anti 2016 world tour with fellow artists Travis Scott, Big Sean and The Weeknd. Anti is [DELETE ONE OF THESE ENDINGS TO THE SENTENCE AND KEEP THE OTHER BASED ON FACTS: streaming exclusively on Tidal before it makes its way over to iTunes and other streaming services OR streaming on Apple Music, Spotify, Tidal and can be purchased on iTunes].

The 27-year-old performer's latest album has [NUMBER OF TRACKS] and its lyrics [HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS] continue the "BBHMM" storyline of an even edgier, freer Rihanna than fans were introduced to in her last album three years ago, Unapologetic. Rihanna especially pushes the edge in [NAME RELEVANT SONG FROM ANTI THAT MATCHES DESCRIPTION], where she sings:

[ LYRICS ]

Ha, was just coming to post that.

it is a shame square brackets cannot be put in display names

lmfaooooooooo

Damn, seems to be down. Eight hours ws a p good run tho

at least they were planning on basing it on facts

Dude who wrote it works at Mic, where it was originally posted, as well as freelances at a couple of other spots. Still hasn't mentioned it at all on FB/Twitter, yet.

it is a shame square brackets cannot be put in display names

agreed, and yet

omg

big fan of this kind of thing in general, local newspapers printing "[DROP IN QUOTE FROM THIS BORING BASTARD]" or something

years and years ago I wrote copy for an award ceremony brochure (I think) and put [CHECK THIS!] next to some assertion or other which ended up getting printed, it looked like I was being my own hypeman

[DELETE ONE OF THESE ENDINGS TO THE SENTENCE AND KEEP THE OTHER BASED ON FACTS]

idgi is this guy leaving messages in square brackets to himself, to check before he submits, or does he actually expect sub-editor to do all this work for him?

I dunno, one the one hand it's embarrassing, but not too terribly damning for the writer. As j says, at least it reveals responsible (if p basic) fact-checking stuff, not something like [remember to actually listen to album, find out who this mysterious "Rihanna" is, etc]. In other words, let s/he who has never riddled a draft with "notes to self" cast the first stone. Now, actually publishing it like that, well that, that I cannot defend.

Of course, I can see how it happened: writer accidentally sent an earlier (I hope MUCH earlier) draft, editor didn't bother to read it, voila. I'd be mortified.

So wait this was a real fuckup? Not a sarcastic commentary on the state of music journalism?

not sure that's really Yahoo News' stock in trade

Amazing

great review

NAME RELEVANT SONG FROM ANTI THAT MATCHES DESCRIPTION

'pushes the edge'

it's like an sql query

I dunno, one the one hand it's embarrassing, but not too terribly damning for the writer. As j says, at least it reveals responsible (if p basic) fact-checking stuff, not something like [remember to actually listen to album, find out who this mysterious "Rihanna" is, etc]. In other words, let s/he who has never riddled a draft with "notes to self" cast the first stone. Now, actually publishing it like that, well that, that I cannot defend.

― Jimmywine Dyspeptic, Friday, November 27, 2015 7:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nah, disagree. Its not the half-finished state, its that there's already a hack-judgment on the music of the album, unheard, just waiting for relevant fill-in-the-blank quotes to validate the already existing narrative.

Also that it pretty clearly shows that articles aren't about covering new info but assembling enough keywords to be first-past-the-post in googlejuice when people are searching for the thing the article _links_ to.

"service journalism"

its that there's already a hack-judgment on the music of the album, unheard, just waiting for relevant fill-in-the-blank quotes to validate the already existing narrative.

yeah but what's the probability the album won't fit the narrative? they may rewrite if the album comes out and it's less edgy and free than Unapologetic, and are just betting that the content will reflect the promo materials

like if i wrote the draft of a financial report before getting official results but with some prior expectation of record setting growth, i may write

This was a record year for the company. Earnings before depreciation and taxes grew by [PERCENTAGE], making this quarter our best since [YEAR].