HEY JEWS

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The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (5 years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (5 years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

8. Lady rabbis (in non-Orthodox movements)

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

9. All our base

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

Tikkun olam is my favorite part of Judaism ever. Concept and metaphor equally awesome.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

The Golders Green and St. Louis Park eruvs.

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

10. sense of humor

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:11 (5 years ago) Permalink

what's the deal with "rabbi jose" btw

CNTFACE (omar little), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:29 (5 years ago) Permalink

11. Woody Allen movies

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:31 (5 years ago) Permalink

vicky cristina barcelona?

Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

12. Tongue (not explicitly Jewish I know)

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

no thx

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:34 (5 years ago) Permalink

13. Philip Roth
14. Having an entire holiday dedicated to alcohol (Purim)
15. Klezmer

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:35 (5 years ago) Permalink

14. Having an entire holiday dedicated to alcohol (Purim)

^^^this

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:37 (5 years ago) Permalink

13. Philip David Lee Roth

fixed

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

Today there's a blessing you can make on the sun that can only be made like once every 25 years. That's pretty cool.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, klezmer wildly OTM but I find Roth totally 100% repellent.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

according to the brooklyn paper this is only the 3rd time in history that the sun is in the same position during passover that it was when it was first created

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

^^^^ awesome

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

going to an orthodox seder as a favor to moms, not looking forward to it (mostly because it goes well past midnight, is an hour and a half away, and i have to work in the morning)

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

One sucky thing about being Jewish: Often (like this Passover), the two days of Chag run into Shabbat, which means that observant Jews (including my family) will be keeping three days straight of no electricity and such. Almost everyone always secretly cheats around the second day to take showers.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

You can take a shower, I thought, you just can't dry off? What if you stood with your arms out until you air dried?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

Or put on a big fluffy bathrobe?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

my dad is currently trying to make me feel guilty for not going to a sedar

iatee, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:53 (5 years ago) Permalink

according to the brooklyn paper this is only the 3rd time in history that the sun is in the same position during passover that it was when it was first created

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, April 6, 2009

you and i both know that there is no significance whatsoever to this, though. i read it in the paper.

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:54 (5 years ago) Permalink

what did the paper say?

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

14. Tallits look comfy. Not so different from a snuggy.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

xxpost the significance is awesomeness

iatee, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

So kosher for pesach is stricter than regular kosher, right? That would explain why the jewish bagel store down the shops had a big sign saying "NONE OF OUR PRODUCTS ARE KOSHER FOR PASSOVER PLEASE NOTE" which I didn't quite understand til now.

I've said this before, but I'm fascinated by all these traditions and rituals in Judaism. It is very odd, now I think on it, but I grew up knowing absolute zero about Jewish culture. There just werent any orthodox jews in the city I grew up in. Where I live now OTOH is an area concentrated with mainly Hassids and Lubavicts (I think thats right?).

one art, please (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

having just finished six months of judaism class i'm ready to drop science at my gf's family's passover

CNTFACE (omar little), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

hahaha... make sure you explain the whole "all the days of our lives" thing

s1ocki, Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

oh jesus

socki (s1ocki), Saturday, 22 March 2014 18:41 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

NAGL for the jews

quincie, Sunday, 23 March 2014 00:33 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWzK5mVuGzM

Mordy , Thursday, 27 March 2014 20:27 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

xpost My first reaction is that no way were Israelis stupid enough to dress as the KKK for Purim, but then I thought, yeah, pretty much everyone is stupid enough to do something that stupid.

Back in school we had to read transcripts of the original Klan meetings, and it's kind of amazing how many people showed up to join. Iirc, it's basically like:

"blah blah early Klan stuff"

(guy raises hand) "Can Jews join?"

"No. Blhal blah more Klan ..."

(another hand goes up)

"Can Catholics join?"

"No" And so on.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 27 March 2014 20:49 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/mitt-romney-corners-matzo-market

Bain Capitol buying Manischewitz

curmudgeon, Tuesday, 8 April 2014 14:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

They should go heritage brand with it

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 April 2014 14:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/passover-with-a-strictly-biblical-flavor/2014/04/07/f6893c04-b531-11e3-b899-20667de76985_story.html

How Karaite Jews celebrate Passover (I've never heard of them before)
excerpt:

The Torah’s Book of Exodus, Chapter 12, offers one description of the instructions for Passover fare: “The Lord said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt: [Each household] shall eat [lamb] roasted over the fire, with unleavened bread and with bitter herbs” (Jewish Publication Society translation).

Remy Pessah of Mountain View, Calif., follows those words and long-standing family traditions each year at Passover time. Born in Egypt, the 66-year-old chemical engineer turned fiber artist was raised with Karaite Judaism. (“Karaite” is a form of the Hebrew word “karaim,” or “followers of Scripture.”) She joined the Karaite community in the San Francisco Bay area, which by some estimates includes more than 200 families. Pessah’s Seder table reflects this Jewish movement that takes its cues directly from the Tanach: the Torah, Prophets and additional texts known as Writings.

“Our Seder is pretty much different from the rabbinical Seders,” Pessah says. “The way we read the Haggadah, the preparation of the Haggadah, the whole atmosphere.”

It indeed differs, both in terms of the Haggadah, the book of readings that tells the Passover story and guides the Seder, and the meal. There are no Four Questions at a Karaite Seder. There is no fruity charoset and no wine — the latter is a fermented product. Instead, Pessah serves homemade grape juice.

The rabbinic Seders that Pessah referred to are what most observant American Jews know as the standard. Those Seders are based largely on the ancient rabbis’ redaction of the Tanach. That redaction is called the Oral Torah. The Karaites see the Oral Torah an interpretation rather than hard-and-fast rules. Some of the several thousand Karaites in the United States, especially those far from the Bay Area enclave, practice a mixture of Karaite and rabbinical traditions. The biggest Karaite community resides in Israel, and another pocket lives in Turkey.

curmudgeon, Friday, 11 April 2014 19:42 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/passover-seders-move-to-nights-that-work-for-busy-lives/2014/04/13/3eca9316-c106-11e3-bcec-b71ee10e9bc3_story.html

No Karaite Jews quoted here. This is about how Passover's 8 nights, and you may as well do the seder on a night that works for everyone to get together (according to some).

curmudgeon, Monday, 14 April 2014 14:47 (5 days ago) Permalink

We actually had a seder last night which is kind of ridiculous but that was what worked for my very secular in-laws.

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Monday, 14 April 2014 14:48 (5 days ago) Permalink

It's that time again!!!!

Hey Jews I wrote a little passover ditty, sung to the chorus of "Eye of the Tiger":

It's the
Bread of affliction
It's the bread of the Jews
Risen bread--it's not kosher during Pe-sach
And my boss--says "be careful! It is con-sti-pa-ting"
I-don't-care-I-just-ate-sev-en sheeeeeeeeeets
Of the mat-zah

― quincie, Sunday, April 12, 2009 9:44 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 April 2014 16:07 (5 days ago) Permalink

loool

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Monday, 14 April 2014 16:08 (5 days ago) Permalink

ooooh I need matzah crack recipe--the stuff with toffee and chocolate and nuts. Anyone?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 April 2014 16:09 (5 days ago) Permalink

i love that song

gbx, Monday, 14 April 2014 19:41 (5 days ago) Permalink

I need matzah crack recipe

hold on a sec let me ask my wife

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 14 April 2014 19:46 (5 days ago) Permalink

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2008/01/chocolatecovere/

Via google, but have never made it.

curmudgeon, Monday, 14 April 2014 19:51 (5 days ago) Permalink

Awesome, thanks!

I am seder-less this year, but I'm still gonna eat seven sheets of matzah, dammit!

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 April 2014 22:16 (5 days ago) Permalink

happy passover, jews!

I am so going to make that matzah crack omg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 April 2014 00:02 (4 days ago) Permalink

Happy pesach y'all

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 02:11 (3 days ago) Permalink


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