HEY JEWS

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The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

8. Lady rabbis (in non-Orthodox movements)

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

9. All our base

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

Tikkun olam is my favorite part of Judaism ever. Concept and metaphor equally awesome.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

The Golders Green and St. Louis Park eruvs.

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

10. sense of humor

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

what's the deal with "rabbi jose" btw

CNTFACE (omar little), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:29 (6 years ago) Permalink

11. Woody Allen movies

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

vicky cristina barcelona?

Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

12. Tongue (not explicitly Jewish I know)

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

no thx

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

13. Philip Roth
14. Having an entire holiday dedicated to alcohol (Purim)
15. Klezmer

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

14. Having an entire holiday dedicated to alcohol (Purim)

^^^this

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

13. Philip David Lee Roth

fixed

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

Today there's a blessing you can make on the sun that can only be made like once every 25 years. That's pretty cool.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, klezmer wildly OTM but I find Roth totally 100% repellent.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

according to the brooklyn paper this is only the 3rd time in history that the sun is in the same position during passover that it was when it was first created

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

^^^^ awesome

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

going to an orthodox seder as a favor to moms, not looking forward to it (mostly because it goes well past midnight, is an hour and a half away, and i have to work in the morning)

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

One sucky thing about being Jewish: Often (like this Passover), the two days of Chag run into Shabbat, which means that observant Jews (including my family) will be keeping three days straight of no electricity and such. Almost everyone always secretly cheats around the second day to take showers.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

You can take a shower, I thought, you just can't dry off? What if you stood with your arms out until you air dried?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

Or put on a big fluffy bathrobe?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

my dad is currently trying to make me feel guilty for not going to a sedar

iatee, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

according to the brooklyn paper this is only the 3rd time in history that the sun is in the same position during passover that it was when it was first created

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, April 6, 2009

you and i both know that there is no significance whatsoever to this, though. i read it in the paper.

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:54 (6 years ago) Permalink

what did the paper say?

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

14. Tallits look comfy. Not so different from a snuggy.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

xxpost the significance is awesomeness

iatee, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

So kosher for pesach is stricter than regular kosher, right? That would explain why the jewish bagel store down the shops had a big sign saying "NONE OF OUR PRODUCTS ARE KOSHER FOR PASSOVER PLEASE NOTE" which I didn't quite understand til now.

I've said this before, but I'm fascinated by all these traditions and rituals in Judaism. It is very odd, now I think on it, but I grew up knowing absolute zero about Jewish culture. There just werent any orthodox jews in the city I grew up in. Where I live now OTOH is an area concentrated with mainly Hassids and Lubavicts (I think thats right?).

one art, please (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

having just finished six months of judaism class i'm ready to drop science at my gf's family's passover

CNTFACE (omar little), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

hahaha... make sure you explain the whole "all the days of our lives" thing

s1ocki, Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

i was about to joke that while i'm sure shakey won't mislead his kid re the veracity of the torah, i intend to, and to dismiss the teachings of christianity so yell at me. but then i started thinking about 'truth' as it pertains to holy scripture + divinity and how 'this is what i believe' differs from 'this is what our ppl believe,' the latter inaugurating a person into a larger community that contains various nuances for what meaning is, what truth is, etc, but that uses particular texts as the foundation for these discourses. like is there a huge difference between 'the revelation at mount sinai definitely happened and it was the event that formally established the ppl of israel' and 'for the last 2 thousand years jews have lived + died as part of a people who trace their constitution to the revelation at mount sinai'? i suppose the former matters more if you're a certain kind of historian or an atheist but the latter is really what 'belief' means in a faith community: 'this is what we're about.' and re christianity, it isn't just as absurd as judaism bc it has been the largest antagonistic body to judaism, a theology that claimed to supersede the beliefs of judaism, that contradicted the fundamental tenants of idol worship w/ its innovation re the son of god, and who has been responsible for the deaths of many jews over the last 2k years. it's 'more false,' not bc it's less historically accurate, but bc it is (or for the most part was) a direct threat to 'what our ppl believe.' nb this gets into a certain kind of tribalism that is probably even more problematic for modern secularism/liberalism than believing patently absurd stories, but i think it does explain why story absurdity doesn't really bother most religious ppl. it's less important what i believe and more what i believe the people around me believe (or more what i believe my parents believe).

Mordy, Saturday, 18 April 2015 14:51 (1 week ago) Permalink

^that's why i felt referring to tanakh as old testament was faux pas on my part: not just re accuracy of denotation, but referring to sacred jewish text(s) with terminology of Christianity, i.e. as inscribed within Christian framework which presumed both to appropriate & supersede those texts

(faux pas for me especially because i’m not a Christian)

drash, Saturday, 18 April 2015 15:16 (1 week ago) Permalink

btw drash, i meant to mention to you that the chapter in heschel's prophets "prophecy and psychosis" is exceptionally good and even worth jumping ahead too (esp if you find the early prophet-specific chapters slow going)

Mordy, Saturday, 18 April 2015 15:29 (1 week ago) Permalink

Yes the "this is what our people believe" is the framework i'm trying to provide. It's def tribal but that's the way the world is.

Xp

Οὖτις, Saturday, 18 April 2015 15:30 (1 week ago) Permalink

even for a non-believer like me it is easy to tell how fucked with the original prophecies were by butthurt Johannine folk who couldn't rectify that the "Messiah" had been killed. But it's still fascinating, from a historical perspective, to read about the evolution of Christianity over time, particularly Bart Ehrman's books. I just ordered "When Jesus Became God", but I find that "Jesus, Apocalyptic Prophet of the New Millenium" was my favorite.

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 18 April 2015 15:33 (1 week ago) Permalink

but, if I ever *have* kids (looking lesser and lesser likely by the day) it's not like I'd disown them for being religious. But if any one of my damn Black Sabbath albums went missing on account of that they'd be sent to Siberia.

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 18 April 2015 15:34 (1 week ago) Permalink

(thanks for chapter rec; might read it in advance of getting there; but enjoying early chapters v much so far)

drash, Saturday, 18 April 2015 15:46 (1 week ago) Permalink

x-post--Ha ha. "Dad, you are a heathen and I had to smash your Black Sabbath albums"

curmudgeon, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:02 (1 week ago) Permalink

i was about to joke that while i'm sure shakey won't mislead his kid re the veracity of the torah, i intend to, and to dismiss the teachings of christianity so yell at me. but then i started thinking about 'truth' as it pertains to holy scripture + divinity and how 'this is what i believe' differs from 'this is what our ppl believe,' the latter inaugurating a person into a larger community that contains various nuances for what meaning is, what truth is, etc, but that uses particular texts as the foundation for these discourses. like is there a huge difference between 'the revelation at mount sinai definitely happened and it was the event that formally established the ppl of israel' and 'for the last 2 thousand years jews have lived + died as part of a people who trace their constitution to the revelation at mount sinai'? i suppose the former matters more if you're a certain kind of historian or an atheist but the latter is really what 'belief' means in a faith community: 'this is what we're about.' and re christianity, it isn't just as absurd as judaism bc it has been the largest antagonistic body to judaism, a theology that claimed to supersede the beliefs of judaism, that contradicted the fundamental tenants of idol worship w/ its innovation re the son of god, and who has been responsible for the deaths of many jews over the last 2k years. it's 'more false,' not bc it's less historically accurate, but bc it is (or for the most part was) a direct threat to 'what our ppl believe.' nb this gets into a certain kind of tribalism that is probably even more problematic for modern secularism/liberalism than believing patently absurd stories, but i think it does explain why story absurdity doesn't really bother most religious ppl. it's less important what i believe and more what i believe the people around me believe (or more what i believe my parents believe).

― Mordy, Saturday, April 18, 2015 9:51 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah i think all this is repulsive, guess that's my tribe

een, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:09 (1 week ago) Permalink

fwiw i don't think christians or atheists are repulsive. i just don't think that their beliefs are my beliefs. if we're really going to talk tribalism, i guess we need to talk about being pro intertribal relations and being pro abolishing the tribes.

Mordy, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

bc i'm not embarrassed to say that i prefer the former to the latter

Mordy, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:13 (1 week ago) Permalink

no i do too, just physical empirical verifiable truth is not something i can compromise

een, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:15 (1 week ago) Permalink

l,r een, mordy

nakhchivan, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:18 (1 week ago) Permalink

lol

drash, Saturday, 18 April 2015 16:43 (1 week ago) Permalink

no i do too, just physical empirical verifiable truth is not something i can compromise

― een, Saturday, April 18, 2015 12:15 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Who is asking you to compromise physical empirical verifiable truth? The 'repulsive' thing is to ignore history. How can you be for physical empirical verifiable truth and also be for throwing out evidence?

©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 18 April 2015 21:02 (1 week ago) Permalink

thread needs more tanuki

Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 18 April 2015 23:29 (1 week ago) Permalink

you would totally feel Gizmo after midnight, wouldn't you

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Sunday, 19 April 2015 05:13 (1 week ago) Permalink

ew

Οὖτις, Monday, 20 April 2015 16:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

omg *feed* not feel. *smh*

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Tuesday, 21 April 2015 02:16 (6 days ago) Permalink


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