HEY JEWS

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The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (seven years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (seven years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (seven years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (seven years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (seven years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (seven years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (seven years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (seven years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (seven years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (seven years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (seven years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (seven years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (seven years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (seven years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (seven years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (seven years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (seven years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

8. Lady rabbis (in non-Orthodox movements)

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

9. All our base

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

Tikkun olam is my favorite part of Judaism ever. Concept and metaphor equally awesome.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:09 (seven years ago) Permalink

The Golders Green and St. Louis Park eruvs.

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:09 (seven years ago) Permalink

10. sense of humor

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:11 (seven years ago) Permalink

what's the deal with "rabbi jose" btw

CNTFACE (omar little), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

11. Woody Allen movies

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:31 (seven years ago) Permalink

vicky cristina barcelona?

Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:32 (seven years ago) Permalink

12. Tongue (not explicitly Jewish I know)

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:32 (seven years ago) Permalink

no thx

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

13. Philip Roth
14. Having an entire holiday dedicated to alcohol (Purim)
15. Klezmer

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:35 (seven years ago) Permalink

14. Having an entire holiday dedicated to alcohol (Purim)

^^^this

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:37 (seven years ago) Permalink

13. Philip David Lee Roth

fixed

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:38 (seven years ago) Permalink

Today there's a blessing you can make on the sun that can only be made like once every 25 years. That's pretty cool.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:38 (seven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, klezmer wildly OTM but I find Roth totally 100% repellent.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:39 (seven years ago) Permalink

according to the brooklyn paper this is only the 3rd time in history that the sun is in the same position during passover that it was when it was first created

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:39 (seven years ago) Permalink

^^^^ awesome

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:41 (seven years ago) Permalink

going to an orthodox seder as a favor to moms, not looking forward to it (mostly because it goes well past midnight, is an hour and a half away, and i have to work in the morning)

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

One sucky thing about being Jewish: Often (like this Passover), the two days of Chag run into Shabbat, which means that observant Jews (including my family) will be keeping three days straight of no electricity and such. Almost everyone always secretly cheats around the second day to take showers.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

You can take a shower, I thought, you just can't dry off? What if you stood with your arms out until you air dried?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

Or put on a big fluffy bathrobe?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

my dad is currently trying to make me feel guilty for not going to a sedar

iatee, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:53 (seven years ago) Permalink

according to the brooklyn paper this is only the 3rd time in history that the sun is in the same position during passover that it was when it was first created

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, April 6, 2009

you and i both know that there is no significance whatsoever to this, though. i read it in the paper.

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:54 (seven years ago) Permalink

what did the paper say?

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:56 (seven years ago) Permalink

14. Tallits look comfy. Not so different from a snuggy.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:56 (seven years ago) Permalink

xxpost the significance is awesomeness

iatee, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

So kosher for pesach is stricter than regular kosher, right? That would explain why the jewish bagel store down the shops had a big sign saying "NONE OF OUR PRODUCTS ARE KOSHER FOR PASSOVER PLEASE NOTE" which I didn't quite understand til now.

I've said this before, but I'm fascinated by all these traditions and rituals in Judaism. It is very odd, now I think on it, but I grew up knowing absolute zero about Jewish culture. There just werent any orthodox jews in the city I grew up in. Where I live now OTOH is an area concentrated with mainly Hassids and Lubavicts (I think thats right?).

one art, please (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:06 (seven years ago) Permalink

having just finished six months of judaism class i'm ready to drop science at my gf's family's passover

CNTFACE (omar little), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

hahaha... make sure you explain the whole "all the days of our lives" thing

s1ocki, Tuesday, 7 April 2009 00:12 (seven years ago) Permalink

i would never be so churlish as to be literally offended when somebody tells me "merry christmas" but all the same i feel it as a small good thing when someone says "happy holidays," not a big deal, just a microgenerosity like holding a door open

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:37 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i say "merry christmas" to people who i know to be christian and "happy hanukkah" to known jews and "happy holidays" or "have a good holiday" or "happy new year" to strangers

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:38 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I want a new non-denominational thing to say to people. Happy Holidays is such weak sauce

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:43 (three weeks ago) Permalink

"Congratulations!"

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:47 (three weeks ago) Permalink

"You're Welcome!"

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:49 (three weeks ago) Permalink

"Mary Poppins!"

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Tomboto how much Jewish stuff is going down in casa de Tomboto these days

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:32 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Like maybe you should come over next week for latkes and hot sauce, which is how we roll here

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:33 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I dunno if I mentioned this already but I am back in Jew School. I love the rabbi, he is a really engaging teacher! Anyway I'm pretty sure that at some point itt Mordy or others recommended I give the shulchan aruch a go. I mentioned this to my Jew School rabbi his eyebrows knitted in a concerned manner and he said, haltingly, "I... don't actually suggest you embark on that. It's only laws!"

Anyway Jewish ethics is a main area of interest for me so I dunno what I should read.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:54 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i'm like 99% sure i never recommended you read the shulchan aruch! unless you were looking for a book of codified laws

Mordy, Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:57 (three weeks ago) Permalink

like generally shulchan aruch is what students becoming rabbis study to become proficient in laws related to kashrut and family purity - ie very technical material mostly. when you got to an orthodox rabbi with your discolored chicken (or... underwear?) and expect an expert opinion, rabbi is likely using shulchan aruch as source for their ruling. even if you did want to just learn laws there are better works for laypeople including the kitzur shulchan aruch which is an abridged shulchan aruch and probably more relevant the chofetz chaim's work the mishna berura.

Mordy, Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:59 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah I went back and searched the thread and I have no idea where I got the shulchan aruch idea from!

I just gave myself a small coronary at the thought of going to this (or any other) rabbi with my underwear.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 25 December 2016 00:04 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I wonder if the shulchan aruch addresses family purity for women like me who have evicted their uteruses (uteri?) from the premises.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 25 December 2016 00:35 (three weeks ago) Permalink

not to be crude but afaik if you're menstruating it needs to be practiced and if you're not it's not (acc to the shulchan aruch making no normative judgements about what ritual practices people should or shouldn't incorporate into their personal lives)

Mordy, Sunday, 25 December 2016 00:40 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Nah nothing crude about it, but women who have have hysterectomies but kept ovaries and are pre-menopausal obv still have "periods" i.e. menstrual cycles, but no "period" in the "show undies to rabbi" sense. Saves trips to the mikveh I guess?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 25 December 2016 01:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

afaik yes - it's all about the blood [or lack therefore]

Mordy, Sunday, 25 December 2016 01:13 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I've taken to telling people Hail Yule

slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Sunday, 25 December 2016 16:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Anyway happy Chanukah!

slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Sunday, 25 December 2016 16:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

was listening to a podcast and someone told the story of Hershel and the Goblins. it was very cool!

Happy Hanukkah!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 26 December 2016 02:49 (three weeks ago) Permalink


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