pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Encountered now, in 2015, A People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm feels like a palette cleanser. Considered with Kendrick Lamar's layered and angsty self-examination on To Pimp A Butterfly, the blunting and numbing escapist bounce of Future's DS2, and Drake's bombastic and moody mythological affirmations from If You're Reading This It's Too Late

...what

that review really bugged me, both for its sad "it's relevant to the hip hop of TODAY!" appeal and for its gushing praise of what is maybe 2/3rds a great album. A 10 it is not, if just because Phife's skills are nowhere near what they would become on subsequent records.

Yeah, leave some points for low end theory

Also, like, as a "reissue" it's just an album that's been in print for 25 years with three new remixes, including one by J Cole

There's like legit B-sides that could have been on there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I6BQnm9Bgo

yeah this doesn't seem like much of a "reissue"

https://medium.com/cuepoint/my-review-of-pitchfork-s-indie-500-album-review-358188d19ae2
who will review the review of the review

"Isn’t Pitchfork supposed to be the gold standard when it comes to reviews?"

well, hmmm....

"Who edited this review?"

well, you know, very busy at the office, you see....

Mosi is great, that's the most generous review anyone's gonna give a Talib Kweli album in 2015, and he doesn't know what a "straw man" is

i just read the last sentences of p4k reviews now

So even as My Name Is pulls back the curtain on Doug Hream Blunt’s mystery music, it also makes clear that the opposite sex will always remain one to him.

the opposite sex will always remain a curtain to him?

irl lol flopson

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/beef_curtains_bobs_burgers.gif

Ty Segall's T. Rex covers haven't gotten the attention they deserve.

...

Well? That's pretty subjective. So what?

i'm skeptical that the deserved attention for [Guy who already releases too much music that all sounds the same's] covers of [beloved band he lifted his songwriting and production style from] is more than zero

I guess I'm not as sour about Ty Segall as you to call p4k dumb for that.

Ty Segall's T. Rex covers haven't gotten the attention they deserve.

...

― flopson, Monday, November 30, 2015 9:37 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i saw this too and i'm just like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no thanks

Fantomas' T. Rex cover is probably my fave and deserves more attention

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INzvwgEaupo

From the new Parquet Courts review,

"A chugging number called "Monastic Living I." is Battles without the epiphanies."

Pitchfork needs their critic bait epiphanies people!!

lol otm flopson

irl lol'd @ this

http://i.imgur.com/KnWLbGL.png

Reminds me of this rating, which has been unfortunately rounded:
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/11041-the-heavy-metal-box/

Bradford Cox Details Alleged Aggressive Encounter With Billy Corgan and Smashing Pumpkins Crew

"Mr. Corgan"

This whole thing reminds me of a cover of a Pumpkins show in Feminist Baseball circa 95/96 that I still giggle at whenever I think of it

i dont hate p4k, but found it funny to read their review of adeles when we were young, and talking about trying to sound older, when so many of their reviewers now sound like theyre trying to sound like they are about 45 years old!

The sadness swells in her voice as she looks at her friends, who stand with her ravaged by time, knowing the moment won't last forever. What comes next is the inevitability of separation, and then the finality of death. "I'm so mad I'm getting old, it makes me reckless," she sings. But inside all this seriousness and all this sadness are reasons to be happy for what's happened. When she performed the song on "SNL", her hands flared as she hit that peak and went into overdrive. As her backup singers repeated the song's title a moment later, she began mouthing along to the refrain, putting on a goofy smile as she pointed back and forth between herself and someone standing offstage. In broadcasting this private interaction for millions, she reminded us that when you strip away the outsized emotion of her songs, you're left with the connection between two people—an intimacy she never forgets.

or maybe its just a particularly american music crit kind of earnestness i have a weird aversion to.

"Will we be alright, as Kendrick Lamar assures? And who is that "we"? In the realm of the pop anthem, "we" have had a long life. Perhaps it’s the "we" who are champions, who will rock you. But more likely it’s the same "we" who shall overcome."

'Tame Impala's rockist synth-pop'.

sweet jesus i was hoping you made that up xp

"veritable buffet of social garbage" was also a pretty shit phrase imo

what is social garbage

and "veritable buffet" is just such a stupid phrase to use in this context

i am a veritable buffet of social garbage

^^^ title of my solo black metal project

ahh i sometimes hate picking on writers. i'm not a very good writer and i could never do it for my career. i don't know matthew schnipper and otherwise his blurb was fine, i feel like a dick

i do not know him but i'm like, matthew, come on, man

i am hungover so "veritable buffet of social garbage" actually really describes me rn

i almost never care about anything i read online anymore, but this sentence i read today on Pitchfork needs help:

"It will sound as good the day you get fired and get day-drunk at a TGI Fridays as the day you hire a party bus to celebrate your promotion."

i just want to help!

i don't actually know how to help though. i want to help in theory...

that's like the working man's version of "witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax."

lol that line is classic

imo comparing that review to other reviews is like comparing an aquarium to blue construction paper

white ppl should be banned from writing about kendrick lamar, is how i feel about the schnipper blurb, and white ppl trying to earnestly and poetically demonstrate that they get him might be worse than white ppl who don't get him

"a schnipperb blurb you've got there"

white people be writing like this etc

who is this "we," wonders white person

(he does get to the answer but what)

it was def a weird trend when white people were calling it like an "unapologetically black album" as shorthand for a lot of things