HEY JEWS

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Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (6 years ago) Permalink

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

whoa

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Self-cleaning oven.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (6 years ago) Permalink

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (6 years ago) Permalink

i really like passover, am i crazy?

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

no its usually my fave

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (6 years ago) Permalink

ooh nice

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (6 years ago) Permalink

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (6 years ago) Permalink

oh snap

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (6 years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (6 years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (6 years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

wow I totally missed this whole "shellfish in the NY water supply" controversy

wonder what the rabbinical reasoning was in allowing it

Οὖτις, Friday, 26 June 2015 18:06 (7 months ago) Permalink

http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/how-the-talmud-became-a-best-seller-in-south-korea?intcid=mod-yml

― Mordy, Tuesday, June 23, 2015 7:40 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's kind of sad, but my heart gets lighter every time i read a news story about jews in a foreign country and it's /not/ about anti-semitism

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 26 June 2015 23:46 (7 months ago) Permalink

although....

Other Jews I spoke to were concerned that Tokayer’s Talmud was helping popularize Jewish stereotypes in South Korea. Even positive stereotypes, some said, can be dangerous. As Dan Sneider, the associate director for research at the Walter H. Shorenstein Asia-Pacific Research Center at Stanford, and a former congregant of Tokayer’s synagogue in Japan, put it, “The line between ‘Jews, aren’t they incredible’ and ‘Jews, aren’t they somehow dangerous and sinister’ can be pretty thin,” particularly in countries like South Korea and Japan, where the dearth of Jews means they are essentially “an abstraction.”

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 26 June 2015 23:52 (7 months ago) Permalink

i had no idea julia wertz was in the new yorker!

like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 27 June 2015 02:44 (7 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...
1 month passes...

Shana tova, Jews!

I went to services today. How do Abraham and Sarah and God get off being such jerks to Hagar and Ishmael? I mean I have only dabbled in reading the Hebrew Bible but WTF, Abraham and Sarah seem like kind of awful ppl but God's all like "it's cool you are my chosen ppl*"

Anyhow, tonight's Rosh Hoshanna meal chez quincie is bratwurst with mustard and sauerkraut on challah. Yeah yeah yeah I know I'm not doing it right.

*to be fair I go to services at a Reconstructionist synagogue, and the Reconstructionists have written the "chosen ppl" bit out of their siddur.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 September 2015 22:56 (4 months ago) Permalink

also the sermon was 100% about Black Lives Matter.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 September 2015 22:57 (4 months ago) Permalink

nice

Οὖτις, Monday, 14 September 2015 23:01 (4 months ago) Permalink

We had a great sermon from the rabbi emeritus re: the binding of Isaac and an interpretation that Abraham heard two voices, each reasonably purporting to be the voice of God, one saying to sacrifice Isaac, the other commanding him to free him, forcing him to choose the kind of God he wanted to serve. Sermon perhaps peaked when he declared he'd rather spend an eternity in hell with Gandhi than in heaven with Fred Phelps.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 September 2015 23:20 (4 months ago) Permalink

Shanah tovah! I kinda wanted to go to services, but didn't, b/c I still haven't yet out here.

go hang a salami I'm a canal, adam (silby), Tuesday, 15 September 2015 00:40 (4 months ago) Permalink

I went to services today. How do Abraham and Sarah and God get off being such jerks to Hagar and Ishmael? I mean I have only dabbled in reading the Hebrew Bible but WTF, Abraham and Sarah seem like kind of awful ppl but God's all like "it's cool you are my chosen ppl*"

I've come to the conclusion that trying to read the OT as a set of modern moral lessons is a fool's errand. Fascinating bunch of stories though.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 15 September 2015 01:08 (4 months ago) Permalink

I'm actually a huge fan of scholars using the OT as a sort of jumping off point, chiseling modern moral lessons out of big blocks of wtf. Certainly literal interpretations are dead ends, so I'm not even sure what application the OT even has beyond setting the stage for fruitful further discussion.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 15 September 2015 13:34 (4 months ago) Permalink

We had a great sermon from the rabbi emeritus re: the binding of Isaac and an interpretation that Abraham heard two voices, each reasonably purporting to be the voice of God, one saying to sacrifice Isaac, the other commanding him to free him, forcing him to choose the kind of God he wanted to serve. Sermon perhaps peaked when he declared he'd rather spend an eternity in hell with Gandhi than in heaven with Fred Phelps.

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, September 14, 2015 6:20 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha I was at services with you! That rabbi was pretty good. The shofar player was pretty weak though. Also was not expecting 3 hours o_o

bnw, Tuesday, 15 September 2015 13:47 (4 months ago) Permalink

shofar was weak like clock radio speakers

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 15 September 2015 14:22 (4 months ago) Permalink

lets just say his "tekiah gedolah" made me think he needs help blowing out birthday candles (ohsnap)

bnw, Tuesday, 15 September 2015 14:27 (4 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Hey Mordy, in particular, but also others -- is there a Jewish theological basis for the idea of a "holy site"? I've been thinking about that a lot in light of the temple mount, and I've been wondering whether placing too much emphasis on a specific site is akin to idolatry. Of course this assumes that religion has any internal consistency at all.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 29 October 2015 20:20 (3 months ago) Permalink

the simple answer is yes. the temple mount is the best example of a holy site in judaism - supposedly the closest place to G-d on earth - and even today jews are not supposed to enter the place where the holy of holies was located. also during prayer you're supposed to face in the direction of the temple mount. beth-el also a holy spot where jacob supposedly slept on the stone. tombs of the righteous also traditionally considered holy (tho iirc there is some dispute about exactly what that means) so that would be hamaras hamachpalah in hebron, kever rachel, joseph's tomb, etc. there's definitely a 'holy sites' basis in judaism - though what that exactly means for sites other than the temple mount is probably subject of some dispute? even rabbis today who say jews should not go up to the temple mount don't say it's bc it's idolatry or the wrong emphasis but bc it's too holy. and of course "israel" is the ultimate holy site in that there are a host of mitzvot that you can't even perform unless you're in the holy land.

Mordy, Thursday, 29 October 2015 20:31 (3 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/195668/in-or-out-the-spinoza-case

like pete rose here

j., Wednesday, 9 December 2015 19:36 (2 months ago) Permalink

interesting, thanks for the link.

inside, skeletons are always inside, that's obvious. (dowd), Thursday, 10 December 2015 07:46 (2 months ago) Permalink

i ate way too many sufganiyot this year. i won't even say how many bc it's humiliating. at shul last night they had a donut making bar and i went nuts.

Mordy, Thursday, 10 December 2015 19:04 (2 months ago) Permalink

We found out that our favorite local Israeli/Eastern-Euro grocery carries REEEEALLLY good sufganiyot.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 10 December 2015 19:06 (2 months ago) Permalink

my daughter made sufganiyot at the temple's Hannukah thing this year, which I think briefly made my wife regret not coming lol

Οὖτις, Thursday, 10 December 2015 19:09 (2 months ago) Permalink

Excellent

curmudgeon, Friday, 11 December 2015 16:49 (2 months ago) Permalink

weirdest thing about the document:

Jews are saved through Christ but in a mysterious way that we dont see. Conclusion of document is that Christian should relate to Jews as "people of God of Jews and Gentiles, united in Christ."

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:37 (1 month ago) Permalink

The "Church understands God's eternal covenant with Jews as being part of God's eternal covenant with the Church."

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:38 (1 month ago) Permalink

why is that weird? provided that your point isn't simply your belief that theological declarations are weird. I mean I'm not gonna take the time to spell out Catholic theology here but the view is readily sensible within the Catholic tradition of thinking of the Church as a collective body ("body" in a organic sense, not just an extensional "set of people").

droit au butt (Euler), Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

it's definitely weird, even from the Church's POV. that you can be saved through Christ and a part of the covenant with the Church through your rejection of Christ and the Church? that's why they call it a mystery.

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:48 (1 month ago) Permalink

ok yes if that's all you mean then fine, it is a mystery.gif. but Catholics talk about mystery every week.

since vatican 2 the Church does not take Jews to have rejected Christ. this is just spelling that out a little further. not up to "scientific precision" I guess but if that's the standard

droit au butt (Euler), Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:53 (1 month ago) Permalink

how do they understand this in light of inerrancy of the NT and passages that seem to totally contradict the idea that the Jews did not reject Christ? it that part of the mystery?

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:57 (1 month ago) Permalink

fwiw i asked a professor friend in the field and he says: There is a huge literature of new readings of the NT that downplay the dualism of Jew vs Christian. Much of it relies of rhetorical criticism saying that the verse was based on a fight with a specific group of Jews and does not include Jews as a whole. Some of it is based on reconceptualization as to what a verse like that could mean to a Jewish speaker which the apostles were. There are many other strategies used to explain the texts. Texts like Revelation are the easy ones via rhetroical criticism, the lines in the Pauline texts are harder. But all of this is part and parcel of a broader modern reading of the Bible. The same was Hirsch or Hertz dealt with a score of issues including science with the net result is a modern reading of the Jewish Bible, the Catholic Church is dealing with a broad number of issues in their 21st century reading.

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:10 (1 month ago) Permalink

that seems otm. I would say that those readings go back to vatican 2 so aren't specifically 21st century but the point still stands.

think "inerrancy" is too strong an attribution to a historical text. Catholics aren't Muslims (or Protestants): the texts were written by human authors and they must be interpreted.

droit au butt (Euler), Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:27 (1 month ago) Permalink

also re. "rejection": it is one thing to say something, and another to do something. the acts of the Jews are to be seen as in line with the NT, if not their words. putting a lot of emphasis on "belief", attitudes toward propositions, etc., is again a rather Protestant take on Christianity.

droit au butt (Euler), Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:29 (1 month ago) Permalink

what is the status of the catholic canon? is it divinely inspired? do the pauline texts have more force than the later ones in terms of necessary fidelity?

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:29 (1 month ago) Permalink

what do you mean by "the catholic canon"? Augustine? Aquinas? Newman? papal declarations? there's not really anything equivalent to the Midrash or to hadiths.

droit au butt (Euler), Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:31 (1 month ago) Permalink

i really meant the canonical NT

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

as seen by the catholic church

Mordy, Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

hmm then still confused, what do you mean by the texts later than Paul's?

I mean yeah the idea is that the texts are divinely inspired but that doesn't mean they're so clear that anyone who reads them will understand them right away. the latter view is what fundamentalists (by definition in fact) believe, and Catholics aren't fundamentalist.

droit au butt (Euler), Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

my daughter's mixed media har sinai for parshat yisro

Mordy, Friday, 29 January 2016 18:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

Sheep ❤️

petulant dick master (silby), Friday, 29 January 2016 19:23 (1 week ago) Permalink

Oh wait those are clouds nm

petulant dick master (silby), Friday, 29 January 2016 19:24 (1 week ago) Permalink

Mordy maybe you have thoughts on this: my daughter's gan is in a conservative synagogue, but her teacher is orthodox. I feel like sometimes the teacher is crossing the line into orthodox territory, for example telling them that boys wear tzitzit (or at least that's what K came home and told me -- maybe it was just because there's a boy in her class who wears them).

Also she talks to them a lot about "davening to Hashem" and I just feel like a threes class is a little early for that.

(1) Do you think it's appropriate? (2) Do you think it's pointless to say something to the director about it?

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 29 January 2016 19:36 (1 week ago) Permalink

My girls go to a Chabad school so they're being exposed to all that and more and I've definitely had conversations with my 4yo about things we believe and how they might differ from what her morah said. I suspect my tolerance (and total acceptability) threshold for Orthodox hashkafa is much higher than yours in general, but we are not fully observant so she knows that we do some things differently than what they do at school. I feel like that some level of critical interaction about what they're getting at school is probably going to be necessary whether they continue in Jewish schools or go to the public schools (about which we are undecided). I should probably mention also that not all the Chabad teachers are Orthodox (my 2yo's is non-observant) so it's not even like they are only be exposed to one context for Jewishness at school either. Maybe they've taken pains to have it that way because they are trying to attract a broader student body, ie they don't see their target audience as homogenous even though they are definitely privileging certain Orthonorms.

Mordy, Friday, 29 January 2016 19:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

So I guess my answer is: I think it's probably fine but if it bothers you I imagine the conservative director will be sympathetic to your concern.

Mordy, Friday, 29 January 2016 19:51 (1 week ago) Permalink


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