HEY JEWS

Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

― Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (4 years ago) Permalink

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

― Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

― s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (4 years ago) Permalink

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

― Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (4 years ago) Permalink

whoa

― s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (4 years ago) Permalink

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:07 (4 years ago) Permalink

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:09 (4 years ago) Permalink

Self-cleaning oven.

― Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (4 years ago) Permalink

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

― Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (4 years ago) Permalink

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (4 years ago) Permalink

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

― Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (4 years ago) Permalink

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

― This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

i really like passover, am i crazy?

― cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (4 years ago) Permalink

no its usually my fave

― s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

― right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (4 years ago) Permalink

ooh nice

― s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (4 years ago) Permalink

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

― cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (4 years ago) Permalink

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:20 (4 years ago) Permalink

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (4 years ago) Permalink

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

― tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (4 years ago) Permalink

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (4 years ago) Permalink

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

― mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (4 years ago) Permalink

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

― This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (4 years ago) Permalink

oh snap

― s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (4 years ago) Permalink

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

― mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (4 years ago) Permalink

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

― guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:38 (4 years ago) Permalink

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

― mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (4 years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (4 years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

― the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

― mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (4 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

― mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

― This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

― ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (4 years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

― mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (4 years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

― ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

― ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (4 years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

― This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (4 years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

― This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (4 years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

― mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (4 years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

― quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (4 years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

― suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (4 years ago) Permalink

Well, then, I'm a fan of Jewish vaginas.

― Leeena Dunham (Leee), Monday, 25 March 2013 01:48 (2 months ago) Permalink

aren't we all?

― quincie, Monday, 25 March 2013 01:53 (2 months ago) Permalink

wallotaschen

― tokyo rosemary, Monday, 25 March 2013 02:48 (2 months ago) Permalink

next level ^

― Mordy, Monday, 25 March 2013 02:51 (2 months ago) Permalink

There were mad queues at all the local continental deli's yesterday in prep for pesach. I'd not realised it was coming up, the local shops were insanity!

― a kissed out red popemobile (Trayce), Monday, 25 March 2013 03:02 (2 months ago) Permalink

who's ready for the annual posting of my Passover ditty?

― quincie, Monday, 25 March 2013 03:30 (2 months ago) Permalink

me me me

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 25 March 2013 03:38 (2 months ago) Permalink

HERE IT COMES!!!

― quincie, Monday, 25 March 2013 03:41 (2 months ago) Permalink

sung to the chorus of "Eye of the Tiger":

It's the
Bread of affliction
It's the bread of the Jews
Risen bread--it's not kosher during Pe-sach
And my boss--says "be careful! It is con-sti-pa-ting"
I-don't-care-I-just-ate-sev-en sheeeeeeeeeets
Of the mat-zah

!!!!

― quincie, Monday, 25 March 2013 03:42 (2 months ago) Permalink

Gotta get some tomorrow. My Catholic in-laws (with whom we are staying for another week and a half) will be very confused.

― quincie, Monday, 25 March 2013 03:43 (2 months ago) Permalink

x-post--left-over hamentashen

― curmudgeon, Monday, 25 March 2013 04:05 (2 months ago) Permalink

There was a shop selling matza-patterned ties and boxer shorts down the road. I wanted to buy a tie but wasnt sure if it was cool.

― a kissed out red popemobile (Trayce), Monday, 25 March 2013 04:17 (2 months ago) Permalink

Gotta get some tomorrow. My Catholic in-laws (with whom we are staying for another week and a half) will be very confused.

― quincie, Sunday, March 24, 2013 11:43 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait till they hear what it's made with

― zero dark (s1ocki), Monday, 25 March 2013 05:35 (2 months ago) Permalink

omg lol

― my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Monday, 25 March 2013 06:24 (2 months ago) Permalink

― Mordy, Monday, 25 March 2013 15:09 (2 months ago) Permalink

super cool article about different old haggadahs:
http://seforim.blogspot.com/2012_04_01_archive.html

― Mordy, Monday, 25 March 2013 23:51 (2 months ago) Permalink

Russian Social Democratic Worker’s Party Pesakh Haggadah According to a New Mode

― my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 01:34 (2 months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jr4LSdALxpI

happy pesach

― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 02:50 (2 months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=jr4LSdALxpI

― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 02:50 (2 months ago) Permalink

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=jr4LSdALxpI

― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 02:50 (2 months ago) Permalink

gah, I don't know why that won't embed. anyway, enjoy.

― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 02:51 (2 months ago) Permalink

DId someone already post this?
http://mobile.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/low_concept/2006/04/the_twominute_haggadah.b.html

― a kissed out red popemobile (Trayce), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 10:53 (2 months ago) Permalink

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/03/31/berlin_jew_in_the_box_ehibit_stirs_controversy.html

step one. put a jew in a box.

― Mordy, Sunday, 31 March 2013 18:25 (1 month ago) Permalink

better than tilda swinton if you ask me

― i've a cozy little flat in what is known as old man hat (Hurting 2), Sunday, 31 March 2013 18:28 (1 month ago) Permalink

i wish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mimouna celebrations were more common

― Mordy, Sunday, 31 March 2013 22:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

from fb:

a friend translated the hebrew text below the pic:

What is the Mimuna about?

My grandmother told me that in Morocco, Passover was the one week that Muslims and Jews were apart. All year, they would sit together, eat drink, drink, talk, laugh, and raise their children together. However, on Passover, because it was forbidden for Jews to eat chametz at their neighbors' they would separate a bit. Therefore, they came up with the custom of Mimuna, so that their neighbors would understand that the reason they didn't get together over the course of the week was because of the holiday - and not because they didn't want to be friends. It was important for them to demonstrate their love and closeness, and therefore they made a large feast that all of the neighbors were invited to. It is a celebration of hospitality, of neighborliness, and of coexistence.

― Mordy, Sunday, 31 March 2013 22:04 (1 month ago) Permalink

i think this is pretty good at speaking to an issue that isn't always represented accurately: http://www.commentarymagazine.com/article/the-outreach-revolution/

In off-the-record interviews with outreach workers associated with Chabad, Aish HaTorah, Modern Orthodox organizations, and community kollelim, I received the same response, sometimes offered with a shrug, sometimes with strong conviction: If the Jews whom I have taught and mentored become more active in their Reform or Conservative synagogues, they say, or in their federations or Israel-oriented organizations, or in their willingness to marry another Jew and raise a Jewish family of any kind, I consider that to be a success.

A good many non-Orthodox leaders probably would respond to this flat assertion with incredulity, for it has become an article of faith that Orthodox outreach is cult-like and intentionally designed to raid the non-Orthodox sectors of the Jewish community. With a few exceptions, this is simply false. In fact, what is actually happening is far more interesting: Kiruv has become a powerful vehicle for re-engaging Jews with the non-Orthodox sectors of the community. Leading members of Conservative and Reform synagogues attend Chabad educational programs or community kollel study sessions and then return to their home congregations, probably as better-informed Jews. Individuals who have had little contact with organized Jewish life are turned on to Judaism by kiruv workers and in many cases find their way into non-Orthodox synagogues or secular organizations.

Their numbers are not negligible. Though no one has collected definitive figures, a quick back-of-the-envelope estimate yields eye-opening results: Assuming that there are between 5,000 and 7,000 kiruv workers today and each interacts annually with an average of no more than 100 non-Orthodox Jews (a conservative figure given the size of most Chabad centers and the popularity of kiruv events sponsored by other organizations), the collective impact of Orthodox outreach may touch between a half million and 700,000 Jews each year, rivaling the impact of the Conservative and Reform movements, and in the majority of cases complementing and enhancing the work of those important movements.

― Mordy, Monday, 8 April 2013 21:54 (1 month ago) Permalink

The history of song & dance Hava Nagila movie doc is at the West End Theatre in W. DC

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/44219/hava-nagila-reviewed-the-story-of-americas-favorite-nigun-told/

― curmudgeon, Friday, 26 April 2013 14:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

my jew b-day is tnite/tmmrw :)

― Mordy, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 02:54 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

chag sameach mordy

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

wait no

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

yom huledet sameach

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

as we would sing in a linguistically suspect fashion to the happy birthday song at shul when I was small

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 06:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

http://jewishmorocco.blogspot.com/

blog for fans of Jewish Moroccan music

― curmudgeon, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 14:27 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

happy jewish bday!

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 16:16 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 16:18 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

mazels on your "j-date"

― we're up all night to get (s1ocki), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 16:52 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

https://twitter.com/hashtagjewbrag

― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Friday, 10 May 2013 17:19 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

http://forward.com/articles/176823/reform-rabbi-urges-hebrew-union-college-to-reconsi/

― Mordy , Friday, 17 May 2013 20:19 (1 week ago) Permalink

:/

― Mordy , Friday, 17 May 2013 20:19 (1 week ago) Permalink

man some of those comments are whoa

― quincie, Friday, 17 May 2013 20:52 (1 week ago) Permalink

I am still not a jew, but I felt this thread may enjoy that a local group was able to register jewishfoodfair.com for their event this weekend. Why would this domain not be in high demand?

― tweeship journey to 51 (mh), Friday, 17 May 2013 20:56 (1 week ago) Permalink

man some of those comments are whoa

― quincie, Friday, May 17, 2013 3:52 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah. but i guess i embrace a third position: the sooner we all assimilate and become secular the better.

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Friday, 17 May 2013 22:39 (1 week ago) Permalink

i just mean assimilate to secularism, not give up all traces of jewish cultural practice & tradition btw

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Friday, 17 May 2013 22:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

last I checked even Reconstructionist Rabbinical College had a quiet policy of not admitting people partnered with non-Jews, though it's possible that that's been revisited since they merged with JRF.

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Saturday, 18 May 2013 00:31 (1 week ago) Permalink

hm, still extant in the catalog, "An applicant who is married to or in a committed relationship with a non-Jewish partner will not be admitted to the rabbinical program."

― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Saturday, 18 May 2013 00:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

I had no idea about these policies, and they make me really sad. Also pissed, and embarrassed.

― quincie, Saturday, 18 May 2013 00:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

2 questions for hey jews:

1. should i attend this event?

2. should i liveblog it???

― Mordy , Wednesday, 22 May 2013 23:50 (4 days ago) Permalink