HEY JEWS

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Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (eight years ago) Permalink

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (eight years ago) Permalink

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (eight years ago) Permalink

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:50 (eight years ago) Permalink

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (eight years ago) Permalink

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (eight years ago) Permalink

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (eight years ago) Permalink

whoa

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (eight years ago) Permalink

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:07 (eight years ago) Permalink

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:09 (eight years ago) Permalink

Self-cleaning oven.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (eight years ago) Permalink

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (eight years ago) Permalink

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (eight years ago) Permalink

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (eight years ago) Permalink

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (eight years ago) Permalink

i really like passover, am i crazy?

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (eight years ago) Permalink

no its usually my fave

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (eight years ago) Permalink

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (eight years ago) Permalink

ooh nice

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (eight years ago) Permalink

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (eight years ago) Permalink

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:20 (eight years ago) Permalink

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (eight years ago) Permalink

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (eight years ago) Permalink

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (eight years ago) Permalink

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (eight years ago) Permalink

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (eight years ago) Permalink

oh snap

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (eight years ago) Permalink

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (eight years ago) Permalink

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:38 (eight years ago) Permalink

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (eight years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (eight years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (eight years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (eight years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (eight years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (eight years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (eight years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (eight years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (eight years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (eight years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (eight years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (eight years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (eight years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (eight years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (eight years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (eight years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (eight years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (eight years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (eight years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (eight years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (eight years ago) Permalink

You'd think Jews would not be that novel in a big city in 2016, but it's been amusing today, listening to the kids of our awesome and generous neighbors as they stop by to deliver homemade treats, struggling with what to wish us. They're so wary, so compelled to wish us "Merry Christmas" but so careful (and considerate!) to avoid the phrase, like it would be the worst social blunder. A brother and sister just came by to deliver us a homemade dreidel pendant, which was so thoughtful. The brother made sure to say Happy Hanukkah, and then the older sister wished me a Merry Christmas, making the younger brother freak out. "No, you're not supposed to say that!!!" But jeez, if us Jews took it all that seriously we'd all be jumping off red and green lit bridges this time of year.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 24 December 2016 20:32 (five months ago) Permalink

^^^this. I work at a large Jewish social services agency where the staff is about 50/50 Jewish/non-Jewish; without some context (pictures of a Torah scroll at a colleague's desk, for example), it's not always easy to hazard a guess as to who is what. There was a surprising amount of bet-hedging "Happy Holidays!" going around this week, which only really works when Christmas and Hanukkah actually coincide.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 20:53 (five months ago) Permalink

Which is, like, once every 45 years or something.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 24 December 2016 21:35 (five months ago) Permalink

I happily accept all merry xmas wishes and have never met any jews who seriously feel otherwise

Οὖτις, Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:11 (five months ago) Permalink

i would never be so churlish as to be literally offended when somebody tells me "merry christmas" but all the same i feel it as a small good thing when someone says "happy holidays," not a big deal, just a microgenerosity like holding a door open

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:37 (five months ago) Permalink

i say "merry christmas" to people who i know to be christian and "happy hanukkah" to known jews and "happy holidays" or "have a good holiday" or "happy new year" to strangers

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:38 (five months ago) Permalink

I want a new non-denominational thing to say to people. Happy Holidays is such weak sauce

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:43 (five months ago) Permalink

"Congratulations!"

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:47 (five months ago) Permalink

"You're Welcome!"

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 22:49 (five months ago) Permalink

"Mary Poppins!"

a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:07 (five months ago) Permalink

Tomboto how much Jewish stuff is going down in casa de Tomboto these days

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:32 (five months ago) Permalink

Like maybe you should come over next week for latkes and hot sauce, which is how we roll here

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:33 (five months ago) Permalink

I dunno if I mentioned this already but I am back in Jew School. I love the rabbi, he is a really engaging teacher! Anyway I'm pretty sure that at some point itt Mordy or others recommended I give the shulchan aruch a go. I mentioned this to my Jew School rabbi his eyebrows knitted in a concerned manner and he said, haltingly, "I... don't actually suggest you embark on that. It's only laws!"

Anyway Jewish ethics is a main area of interest for me so I dunno what I should read.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:54 (five months ago) Permalink

i'm like 99% sure i never recommended you read the shulchan aruch! unless you were looking for a book of codified laws

Mordy, Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:57 (five months ago) Permalink

like generally shulchan aruch is what students becoming rabbis study to become proficient in laws related to kashrut and family purity - ie very technical material mostly. when you got to an orthodox rabbi with your discolored chicken (or... underwear?) and expect an expert opinion, rabbi is likely using shulchan aruch as source for their ruling. even if you did want to just learn laws there are better works for laypeople including the kitzur shulchan aruch which is an abridged shulchan aruch and probably more relevant the chofetz chaim's work the mishna berura.

Mordy, Saturday, 24 December 2016 23:59 (five months ago) Permalink

Yeah I went back and searched the thread and I have no idea where I got the shulchan aruch idea from!

I just gave myself a small coronary at the thought of going to this (or any other) rabbi with my underwear.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 25 December 2016 00:04 (five months ago) Permalink

I wonder if the shulchan aruch addresses family purity for women like me who have evicted their uteruses (uteri?) from the premises.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 25 December 2016 00:35 (five months ago) Permalink

not to be crude but afaik if you're menstruating it needs to be practiced and if you're not it's not (acc to the shulchan aruch making no normative judgements about what ritual practices people should or shouldn't incorporate into their personal lives)

Mordy, Sunday, 25 December 2016 00:40 (five months ago) Permalink

Nah nothing crude about it, but women who have have hysterectomies but kept ovaries and are pre-menopausal obv still have "periods" i.e. menstrual cycles, but no "period" in the "show undies to rabbi" sense. Saves trips to the mikveh I guess?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 25 December 2016 01:00 (five months ago) Permalink

afaik yes - it's all about the blood [or lack therefore]

Mordy, Sunday, 25 December 2016 01:13 (five months ago) Permalink

I've taken to telling people Hail Yule

slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Sunday, 25 December 2016 16:11 (five months ago) Permalink

Anyway happy Chanukah!

slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Sunday, 25 December 2016 16:12 (five months ago) Permalink

was listening to a podcast and someone told the story of Hershel and the Goblins. it was very cool!

Happy Hanukkah!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 26 December 2016 02:49 (five months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

this looks very cool:
https://shabb.es/product/ethics/

if you've never read pirkei avos before i highly recommend it (i've quoted it a number of times on ilx, it's where the quote "were it not for the fear government, man would swallow his fellow alive" comes from) and tho i haven't read this version it looks great.

Mordy, Friday, 10 February 2017 21:01 (three months ago) Permalink

more famously it's where "if i am not for myself, who will be for me?" comes from, as well as "who is wise? he who learns from everyone."

Mordy, Friday, 10 February 2017 21:02 (three months ago) Permalink

huh yeah that does look good

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 February 2017 21:05 (three months ago) Permalink

does look cool. Mordy do you know the ppl behind it?

softie (silby), Friday, 10 February 2017 21:27 (three months ago) Permalink

i do not - i only know that friends on fb were sharing it. i've ordered a copy.

Mordy, Friday, 10 February 2017 21:29 (three months ago) Permalink

Mordy, Wednesday, 15 February 2017 23:10 (three months ago) Permalink

a nice little lol there is that the highest rating is 91 - approval that Jews have for Jews. we love ourselves.

Mordy, Wednesday, 15 February 2017 23:12 (three months ago) Permalink

another fun graph that suggests that the older you get the more you like jews

Mordy, Wednesday, 15 February 2017 23:26 (three months ago) Permalink

whoah nice

Οὖτις, Friday, 24 February 2017 17:38 (three months ago) Permalink

yeah cool stuff - i'd love to see the exhibit but i do not plan to be in the new dehli area any time soon

Mordy, Friday, 24 February 2017 17:43 (three months ago) Permalink

delhi*

Mordy, Friday, 24 February 2017 17:43 (three months ago) Permalink

would love to see some of my jews (looking at you mordy) out at this downtown NYC show that I'm working with:
http://www.greenwichhouse.org/announcements/uncharted-innov

In addition to being the name of this trance-inducing musical style, the term gnawa also refers to the people originally from kingdoms spanning Mali to Ghana who were enslaved by the Moorish rulers and brought North to present-day Morocco. The Jewish presence in Morocco dates back to over 2,500 years ago and upon interaction with the gnawa community, a bond formed over appreciation for gnawa music and its healing powers. Gnawa music pre-dates Islam and originally centered around animistic, spiritual, mystical concepts sung in sub-Saharan languages such as Bambara, Fulani and Sudani. Upon embracing Islam, gnawa songs began to incorporate Arabic language and themes around the Muslim prophets. Sebitiyin, meaning The Saturdays in Moroccan Arabic, is the collection of songs that grew out of the gatherings hosted by the Jewish community for the revered gnawa maalems whom they deeply respected. Themes of these songs still include the original elements of spirits and the natural world, and later came to incorporate shared saints from their Abrahamic traditions. Today, it is still rare to find a maalem that knows this full repertoire so we are especially lucky to have Maalem (Master) Hassan Ben Jaafer, son of the late Abdallah Ben Jaafer, lead us through a powerful moment of unity in music.

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Friday, 24 February 2017 20:21 (three months ago) Permalink

wow that sounds fantastic - and on 4/20 no less. it'll be an ask for sure (late night show in the city) but maybe we can make a long weekend of it or something. i'll def see what i can swing.

Mordy, Friday, 24 February 2017 20:40 (three months ago) Permalink

please do, it should be rad. fifteen buck ticket! affordable! free beer and wine at the show!

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Friday, 24 February 2017 22:30 (three months ago) Permalink

the price is def not the problem. the two hour drive is the bigger obstacle. but we'll see. might be nice to get out of philly for a weekend. are hamilton tickets still impossible to get?

Mordy, Friday, 24 February 2017 22:34 (three months ago) Permalink

i'm gonna guess yes. and in any case, the price is def the problem there.

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Friday, 24 February 2017 22:44 (three months ago) Permalink

That show sounds fkin cool
Signed a goy

his eye is on despair-o (Jon not Jon), Friday, 24 February 2017 23:08 (three months ago) Permalink

Goys welcome

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 25 February 2017 05:36 (three months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

this speech was given by one of my yeshiva rabbis last week. it's v much addressed to the orthodox community and some of the challenges facing it (particularly what is known as the "off the derech" or "off the road" aka "leaving Judaism" crisis and a related drug addiction and overdose crisis). because of that i'm not sure if the language will be a huge barrier to ilx posters (and some of the ways of speaking are not at the level of sophistication, particularly about non-orthodox communities, or sophistication of secular humanism, that ilxors might expect) but i thought it was beautiful and i cried multiple times watching it. the ideas being floated in it are not something that are super prevalent within the orthodox community yet but that's why i went to learn w/ him many years ago - bc i thought he was onto something new about the value and meaning of judaism to people's actual lived lives and relationships. at one pt during the speech there's a gasp bc some of the things he's saying are shocking to hegemonic orthodoxy and someone asks if they can record the lecture. from an anthro-social value alone i think it's worth checking out even if u get nothing else out of it: https://www.theyeshiva.net/item/4151

Mordy, Wednesday, 3 May 2017 04:08 (three weeks ago) Permalink

ive been reading Moses Maimonides "The Guide for the Perplexed" and 45 pages in i am quite enjoying it. how prevalent is the idea that God is incorporeal? it is a point he keeps returning to, indeed it is a major theme of the work, which so far has been tasked with introducing the concept of homonyms and words having multiple, contextual, meanings that tend to be reduced to a literalization.

lol and he keeps making fun of people who think the world is flat. this is in the 12th century!

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 00:32 (one week ago) Permalink

God being incorporeal is broadly accepted in Judaism I can't think of any serious denomination that contradicts that tenet. Maimonides (aka the Rambam) is probably the most canonical figure in the Jewish world (particularly the Orthodox world) and penned the 13 principles of faith that essentially delineate the borders of traditional Judaism. Guide to the Perplexed is fantastic. You'd probably dig this as well - a letter he wrote about Jewish belief in the resurrection of the dead: http://rambam.merkaz.com/Class%2013%20-%20Letter%20on%20Resurrection.pdf

Mordy, Wednesday, 17 May 2017 00:35 (one week ago) Permalink

he was also a physician (and some say advisor) to Sultan Saladin. he lived in Cairo and signed all his letters as (paraphrasing), "The one who is sinning by living in Egypt."

Mordy, Wednesday, 17 May 2017 00:39 (one week ago) Permalink

yeah i am loving this book! he is really a brilliant thinker, he seems quite hip to the current scientific theories for so long ago. i really like how he talks about the anthropomorphize-ing that usually takes place wrt God. the idea being that we say "God sees" but it is not the same as saying a person sees. he goes on about the different bodily organs involved in perception and the senses, how this is related to sin, how this must be regulated for the goal of worldly moral perfection. he doesn't go deeply into addiction but at one point he notes often people have a peculiar appetite for a particular sense. on the contrary God needs no bodily organs because creation requires nothing that is outside of him. he is incorporeal where we need an ear to hear and an eye to see. his "sight" is a completely different thing than, humans or animals, who are both material and organ-based.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 02:05 (one week ago) Permalink

https://www.wdl.org/en/item/3962/#q=maimonides

incredibly ornate illuminated manuscript version of his "Mishneh Torah". really neat psychedelic doodles all over the place. that site is so cool. they have also an original of the "Guide for the Perlexed".

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 17 May 2017 15:08 (one week ago) Permalink


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