HEY JEWS

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Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:50 (7 years ago) Permalink

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (7 years ago) Permalink

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

whoa

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:09 (7 years ago) Permalink

Self-cleaning oven.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (7 years ago) Permalink

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (7 years ago) Permalink

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (7 years ago) Permalink

i really like passover, am i crazy?

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

no its usually my fave

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

ooh nice

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

oh snap

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:38 (7 years ago) Permalink

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (7 years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (7 years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (7 years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (7 years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (7 years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (7 years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (7 years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (7 years ago) Permalink

I can kind of tell from the title what it will be like and why I won't like it.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 11 March 2016 20:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

Irreverent Jew humor gets tiresome after a while because the stakes of irreverence are so low in all but the most Orthodox Jewish circles.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 11 March 2016 20:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

Harmon’s portrait of Daphna, the lone Jewish woman on stage, and by extension all Jewish women, relies on retrogade anti–Jewish woman tropes — nagging voice, excessive hairiness. That “Bad Jews” was written by a young Jewish playwright makes this feel like even more of a betrayal. Jewish leaders ruing the Pew study might want more Jews to be like Daphna, who decries intermarriage, values her Jewishness and doesn’t want it to be watered down in future generations. But Harmon has made her so unlikable — rigid, self-righteous, whiny. Even her womanliness is questioned: She is depicted as so undesirable that Jonah agrees that her Israel boyfriend must be a figment of her imagination.

sounds gross

Mordy, Friday, 11 March 2016 20:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

Yeah actually sounds worse than I imagined, although that's definitely a common cliché to the kind of bad Jewish comedy I'm thinking of.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 11 March 2016 21:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

I've always liked Jewish women though, to the extent you can generalizingly "like" any entire group of women, and a lot of the negative stereotypes read as positive traits to me - strength, concern, lack of pretense, etc.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 11 March 2016 21:05 (1 month ago) Permalink

Sadly this got good reviews in Washington DC papers last year, so the run got extended, and then they brought it back again this year.

The airhead Christian blonde girlfriend of another character in the play is formulaic as well

curmudgeon, Friday, 11 March 2016 21:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

it sounds like the playwright ends up shipping Daphna out to Israel in the end. if that's his hope for getting rid of all the annoying hung-up on being jewish jews, i think he's setting himself up for disappointment

Mordy, Friday, 11 March 2016 21:34 (1 month ago) Permalink

I've always liked Jewish women though, to the extent you can generalizingly "like" any entire group of wome

i'd say that this extent is... no extent.

i have a lot of awful overentitled jewish girls in my classes, and lots of smart, sharp jewish girls too. there are definitely "types" within the overall group, but to characterize it beyond that, i dunno. weird.

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 11 March 2016 23:14 (1 month ago) Permalink

saw it earlier this week I thought it was a very very bad play like an average episode of a bad sitcom actually left about a little after halfway through which I don't think I've ever done before

conrad, Friday, 11 March 2016 23:21 (1 month ago) Permalink

disappointed there have not been any '"Bad Jews", Bad!' headlines about this tbh

Οὖτις, Friday, 11 March 2016 23:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

I kinda enjoyed Bad Jews but more as a light Saturday matinee entertainment and not some tour de force of theater

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 12 March 2016 01:11 (1 month ago) Permalink

Somehow it only dawned on me for the first time this year that Achashverosh was a real fucking imbecile of a king.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Thursday, 24 March 2016 04:24 (1 month ago) Permalink

Just a complete putz basically.

petulant dick master (silby), Thursday, 24 March 2016 04:59 (1 month ago) Permalink

Drunken, fickle, easy to manipulate, no discernible policies or values other than partying, and misogynist too

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Thursday, 24 March 2016 12:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

Hamentashen are tasty

curmudgeon, Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:11 (1 month ago) Permalink

in addition to executing his wife for refusing to appear naked in front of his friends there's a midrash that the entire party the opens the megillah was really just an excuse to use the temple vessels that had been looted from jerusalem

Mordy, Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:14 (1 month ago) Permalink

Wow.

___________________________________

Some grocery stores around here have been displaying Passover food now, because they just assume that since Easter is Sunday, Passover must be right now too. Wonder if they will realize they have to leave it up through the end of April? Or will they remove it Monday?

curmudgeon, Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:15 (1 month ago) Permalink

I find that grocery stores that bother carrying any Passover stuff around here carry it year-round, as if someone is going to buy matzo in July.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:26 (1 month ago) Permalink

The thing is, there are totally non-Jews out there who eat matzo when they don't have to. IDGI but go explain the goyim

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:29 (1 month ago) Permalink

Matzah available year round is nice for when I find myself with the urge to make matzah brei

petulant dick master (silby), Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

Sometimes I have seen "Not Kosher for Passover Matzah" year-round and yes I guess there are Goyim who go for that

curmudgeon, Thursday, 24 March 2016 17:25 (1 month ago) Permalink

Some grocery stores around here have been displaying Passover food now, because they just assume that since Easter is Sunday, Passover must be right now too. Wonder if they will realize they have to leave it up through the end of April? Or will they remove it Monday?

― curmudgeon, Thursday, March 24, 2016 10:15 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i was wondering about that, too. local grocer put the passover food out two weeks ago! I did a double take and thought perhaps i had forgotten the date. (didn't stop me from bringing some macaroons home, though.)

wizzz! (amateurist), Thursday, 24 March 2016 18:34 (1 month ago) Permalink

guys i find the ivanka phenomenon so confusing + i have so many conflicting thoughts on it and what it means about america and about the jews (and what it means that trump is using classical fascist imagery about birth + fertility when speaking about jewish grandchildren) but atm i just want to say that she has some v cute kids:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDUW0QhikCD/?taken-by=ivankatrump&hl=en

Mordy, Friday, 25 March 2016 15:53 (1 month ago) Permalink

tell us more about the classic fascist imagery, think I missed this

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 25 March 2016 15:55 (1 month ago) Permalink

well, just in his speech to aipac he made some comment about how ivanka is going to have her jewish baby very soon and this kind of political elision between the personal birth/fertility as a stand-in for political national health has a tradition. this is in addition to the many times that trump has used his own health + fertility as a stand-in for a kind of nationalist power (i saw a lot of speculation that this was the dog whistle behind him talking about the size of his genitalia). maybe i'm reading too much into it but talking about babies + birth in political speech reminds me a lot of hitlerian propaganda such as

Mordy, Friday, 25 March 2016 15:58 (1 month ago) Permalink

this is a big genre btw i'm not just picking + choosing one poster

Mordy, Friday, 25 March 2016 16:00 (1 month ago) Permalink

I doubt Trump's even aware of that but his AIPAC audience probably was and it was definitely a gross moment

Οὖτις, Friday, 25 March 2016 16:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

i don't think trump needs to be aware of it to basically embody much the same ideology

in fact being aware of it would be a hindrance

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 25 March 2016 16:59 (1 month ago) Permalink

I like the idea of Trump independently stumbling upon Nazi imagery and theories and conspiracies. Allows him plausible denial while at the same time allowing him to take advantage of it. Kind of like when Billy Joel was claiming to have composed something that turned out to be identical to some Mozart piece. " I don't know anything about Mozart, and I have never heard that piece, but how about that, aren't I good?"

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 25 March 2016 18:32 (1 month ago) Permalink

isn't that standard operating procedure for Trump (cf David Duke etc.)?

Οὖτις, Friday, 25 March 2016 18:34 (1 month ago) Permalink

Pretty much. What I'm saying is that maybe he really has no idea! Maybe all authoritarian neo fascists eventually find their way to the same (er) solutions.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 25 March 2016 18:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

i was surprised to learn this:

"Consider this question: how does the relationship between Israel and the Australian, Canadian, or British Jewish community differ from that of Israel and the American Jewish community? If one seeks an answer that can be quantified, note that, even taking into account the effect of the Birthright program—which to date has sent 400,000 young American Jews on trips to Israel—it is still the case that only about 40 percent of American Jews have bothered to visit the country at all. Without Birthright, that proportion would shrink to a third. By contrast, approximately 70 percent of Canadian Jews have made the trip at least once, as have 80 percent of Australian Jews and an estimated 95 percent of British Jews. Beyond the Anglosphere, 70 percent of French Jews have visited Israel, as have 70 percent of Mexican Jews and more than half of Argentinian Jews."

Mordy, Monday, 4 April 2016 17:47 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

could this be perhaps partly due to americans just not being big foreign travelers in general? i.e. the average American has only been to three countries outside the u.s. and almost a third have never left the states?

trickle-down ergonomics (jim in glasgow), Monday, 4 April 2016 17:59 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

maybe there's something to that - it's very surprising to see mexico + canada at 70% and the US at 30% less.

Mordy, Monday, 4 April 2016 18:02 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

i liked this lil riff on it

https://twitter.com/dwdavison9318/status/720271473198428160

goole, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:00 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

oh hey that reminds me - anyone got a decent recipe for matzo ball soup? I've tried a couple but each time the matzo balls turned out way heavier/harder than they should be. (My familial elders is no help in this regard, as they are all terrible at cooking)

Οὖτις, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:07 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

ygm i sent u a recipe

Mordy, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:27 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Seltzer is an essential ingredient if you want to avoid golf balls.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:42 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

aha!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:42 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

this probably belongs on a few different threads but why not here?:

http://patijinich.com/recipe/post_1/

good stuff IMO

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 15 April 2016 05:56 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

This is probably a question best for Mordy, but has anyone written a good theological defense/explanation etc. of strict observance of all of the mitzvoth without belief in God? And conversely, what are the best defenses of Reform-type Judaism from a theological perspective (i.e. not merely justifying it using secular terms).

JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Thursday, 21 April 2016 20:01 (1 week ago) Permalink

What you probably want is an argument from historical revelation (that as our understanding of morality develops so should our practice). This is a better answer for justifying Reform-type Judaism (which makes most sense in a sociohistorical context imo) but not for strict observance without belief in G-d. Essentially though if you accept this historical based revelation than you can believe in the Torah even while believing that it was a changing document. Can also be a nice way to square parts of the Torah you don't like with the divinity of the Torah as a whole -- that our current level of revelation demonstrates that we can't understand, say, Leviticus, the same way it was understood in 1000BC. That it wouldn't even be an appropriate way of practicing the Torah. You can also fold in development of the oral Torah into this. Every since taking Brill's Revelation course at YU (looks like the syllabus is here: http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/713482/rabbi-alan-brill/revelation-materials-unit-i-five-models-of-dulles-and-some-21st-century-questions-/) I can't help but think of these models in terms of their use - what questions they're coming to answer, or problems they're coming to address. That's why I think ultimately Reform is best understood as a response to acculturation into German Protestant culture and less as a stable theological theory. nb that Heschel's Torah from Heaven revelation model answers a lot of these same questions but keeps more of the divine revelation at Mount Sinai (which historical revelation only just barely preserves).

Re the other question I don't have a good answer (tho possibly you could make one from cultural preservation, or communal fidelity) but I did hear stories about Yeshiva students who were leaving their schools en masse during the high point of the Haskalah movement and there's a story I've heard that in Slabotke Yeshiva bochurim would smoke on Shabbos while learning gemara bc learning gemara was just too geshmak. This isn't really the same thing but it kinda gets to the same idea that maybe there are reasons to participate in these traditions despite not signing on to much of the theological underpinning it.

Mordy, Thursday, 21 April 2016 20:26 (1 week ago) Permalink

I'm not Jewish. This is the Jewish-related thread I always see--maybe there's a better one...Flipping through DVDs at the flea market this morning, the guy beside me, in his 60s, holds up the old musical Till the Clouds Roll By.

"Isn't 'till' misspelled there?"
"No, that's right--you can spell it 'till' or ''til.'"
"Doesn't that 'till' mean moneybox?"
"It means both."
"Okay...It's Hollywood, it's Jews, and they're well educated."

And then I'm almost positive he said "Thanks, Ben"--maybe it was "Thanks, then," but I don't think so. Not my name, and, well, our evolving friendship hadn't really gotten to the exchanging-names stage yet.

clemenza, Saturday, 23 April 2016 17:15 (1 week ago) Permalink

Reminds me of a group trip I took as part of a tour group to a Casablanca, Morocco market where one bargains for the price and someone saying to me later--"I hate that Jewing down stuff"

curmudgeon, Monday, 25 April 2016 21:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

in case anyone was wondering the magic key to fluffy matzah balls is seltzer water and whipped egg whites

Οὖτις, Monday, 25 April 2016 21:55 (1 week ago) Permalink

Someone wrote a letter to the editor complaining about a picture printed in the newspaper a few days ago of local Hasidic Jews burning chametz. "The bread should have been composted."

tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 27 April 2016 14:24 (5 days ago) Permalink

That reminds me a little of the people who clucked at the Hassidic Jews whose home burned down because of a Shabbos hot plate malfunction. Any excuse to vent your discomfort with the other.

JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 14:26 (5 days ago) Permalink


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