HEY JEWS

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Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (5 years ago) Permalink

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

whoa

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

Self-cleaning oven.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

i really like passover, am i crazy?

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

no its usually my fave

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (5 years ago) Permalink

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

ooh nice

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:20 (5 years ago) Permalink

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (5 years ago) Permalink

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (5 years ago) Permalink

oh snap

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (5 years ago) Permalink

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (5 years ago) Permalink

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

guys i need to eliminate this business associate and im really nervous (Laurel), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

the drummer from the hilarious 1990's Britpop act Gay Dad (wanko ergo sum), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (5 years ago) Permalink

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (5 years ago) Permalink

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

7. Tikkun olam as commandment

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

7. anything heimische...

suggest bánh mi (suzy), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nGSNEhXEu_s

Mordy , Wednesday, 5 February 2014 15:45 (2 months ago) Permalink

let me try that again…

Mordy , Wednesday, 5 February 2014 15:46 (2 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

I've been idly speculating about joining a temple/congregation here in SF but have never found one I really liked. My wife was chatting with a co-op friend of ours whose also Jewish and she said they found one they liked and sent me the link:

http://www.orshalom.org/web/guest/home

My wife asked me what Reconstructionist meant, which I had a little difficult explaining (I've never attended Reconstructionist anything; I was raised in a Reform household though, so I have some educated guesses). Website is a bit lol. Feel like my options are so limited - on the one hand there's the super-rich and super-conservative temples on the other side of town and then on my side of town all we have is the LGBT temple, and I'm not into either of those. My daughter was telling me yesterday how she wants to go to Hebrew school, feel like I better come up with something and maybe this isn't too bad/ridiculous? I dunno.

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 14 March 2014 20:43 (1 month ago) Permalink

so i was thinking i might wear a costume today but the only one i have on hand is a dashiki + like rasta hat from college. question: from a scale from 1 to blackface, how racist is a rasta costume on purim?

Mordy , Sunday, 16 March 2014 17:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

our bit of london is very close to the *very orthodox stamford hill, and there were some AMAZING costumes being worn today

you are clinically deaf and should sell you iPod (stevie), Sunday, 16 March 2014 18:55 (1 month ago) Permalink

i have to leave for this chaggiga in about an hour so speak now or forever hold ur peace xp

Mordy , Sunday, 16 March 2014 18:55 (1 month ago) Permalink

dont do it

gbx, Sunday, 16 March 2014 18:56 (1 month ago) Permalink

Yeah, don't do it. Where a crown or something.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 16 March 2014 19:43 (1 month ago) Permalink

Wear.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 16 March 2014 19:43 (1 month ago) Permalink

Dont do it

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Sunday, 16 March 2014 20:30 (1 month ago) Permalink

dont

socki (s1ocki), Monday, 17 March 2014 15:00 (1 month ago) Permalink

did you do it

coops all on coops tbh (crüt), Monday, 17 March 2014 15:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

i just wore the dashiki, which is really a nice piece of clothing that's very colorful. i didn't wear the hat or anything which felt a little over the top and maybe tipped the scale into minstrelsy.

Mordy , Monday, 17 March 2014 15:06 (1 month ago) Permalink

http://www.complex.com/style/2013/08/clothes-white-people-shouldnt-wear/dashiki

obv wearing any outfit of another culture as a costume is complex (punz, lol) tho hopefully this wasn't too offensive to anyone :/

Mordy , Monday, 17 March 2014 15:07 (1 month ago) Permalink

fwiw, I saw a (non-blackface) rasta dude at the purim party I went to, fake dreads, some kind of colorful shirt, etc. It didn't really register as minstrelsy to me since there are already so many white reggae dudes with dreads, but IDK.

james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 March 2014 15:08 (1 month ago) Permalink

yeah, i wouldn't have done fake dreads and like i said i thought the hat was too much, but idk, u know i love western african culture and music and so i hope my wearing the dashiki was more respectful than just drunken college student going lol?

Mordy , Monday, 17 March 2014 15:09 (1 month ago) Permalink

don't worry, i'll make sure to pick up a keffiyah for next year

(jk, next year we plan to do a family costume as adventure time characters)

Mordy , Monday, 17 March 2014 15:21 (1 month ago) Permalink

shakey mo, my DC shul shopping (which is rather lol for a non-Jew) led me to a Reconstructionist synagogue, where I will/would totally go if/when I were to actually convert. I go to High Holy Day services there and it is awesome and reconstructionism is a good fit for a not-feeling-the-personal-god-thing person such as myself.

quincie, Thursday, 20 March 2014 11:27 (1 month ago) Permalink

and the music is so much better than at Reform temples. Sorry, Reformers!

quincie, Thursday, 20 March 2014 11:28 (1 month ago) Permalink

not sure how i feel about this but seeing jay leno on their front page puts me further into the "fuck off" ledger though.
http://nicejewishguys.net/

bnw, Thursday, 20 March 2014 13:16 (1 month ago) Permalink

If I join a synagogue I want it to have a really good cantor, which is hardest to find in reform temples for whatever reason.

james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 March 2014 14:01 (1 month ago) Permalink

xp, yeah, generally a little sick of that kind of easy, corny, self-deprecating jewish humor schtick at this point in my life, but it's such a part of the culture, whaddyagonnado? As for whether it's actually offensive, I don't think so.

james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 March 2014 14:05 (1 month ago) Permalink

the twin sons of the cantor at the synagogue i went to when i was growing up became a briefly famous canadian boy band

socki (s1ocki), Thursday, 20 March 2014 15:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

Excellent!

Reform synagogues I have been to have had cantors who don't have the vocal power and passion of cantors in conservative synagogues; plus the reform ones have had Rabbis who strum acoustic guitars in a very insipid folk music kind of way. But alas, some of the conservative ones I have been to include participants who want to make the temple nearly Orthodox, which is not for me.

curmudgeon, Thursday, 20 March 2014 15:08 (1 month ago) Permalink

I guess I was lucky, the cantor I had at my reform temple growing up seemed (to me anyway) totally old school - sonorous, booming voice, all organ+vocal arrangements/no acoustic gtr.

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 20 March 2014 15:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

I saw a kid dressed for Purim in my neighborhood on Sunday wearing sweatpants, basketball shorts, a hoodie, an Obama mask and a gigantic afro wig. :-\

bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Thursday, 20 March 2014 15:21 (1 month ago) Permalink

Speaking of which: http://www.jpost.com/National-News/Israelis-who-dressed-up-as-Ku-Klux-Klan-members-on-Purim-make-waves-on-Facebook-345846

The JPost's coverage is pretty weaksauce too -- "A tasteless brand of humor, or a clever display of satire?" No, it's fuck you.

james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 March 2014 15:27 (1 month ago) Permalink

secretly always resented the cantors b/c they would just sing x 5 everything the rabbi just said thereby lengthening the boring service.

bnw, Thursday, 20 March 2014 15:32 (1 month ago) Permalink

http://stream.aljazeera.com/story/201403191756-0023572

, Saturday, 22 March 2014 03:36 (1 month ago) Permalink

oh jesus

socki (s1ocki), Saturday, 22 March 2014 18:41 (1 month ago) Permalink

NAGL for the jews

quincie, Sunday, 23 March 2014 00:33 (1 month ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWzK5mVuGzM

Mordy , Thursday, 27 March 2014 20:27 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

xpost My first reaction is that no way were Israelis stupid enough to dress as the KKK for Purim, but then I thought, yeah, pretty much everyone is stupid enough to do something that stupid.

Back in school we had to read transcripts of the original Klan meetings, and it's kind of amazing how many people showed up to join. Iirc, it's basically like:

"blah blah early Klan stuff"

(guy raises hand) "Can Jews join?"

"No. Blhal blah more Klan ..."

(another hand goes up)

"Can Catholics join?"

"No" And so on.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 27 March 2014 20:49 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/mitt-romney-corners-matzo-market

Bain Capitol buying Manischewitz

curmudgeon, Tuesday, 8 April 2014 14:47 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

They should go heritage brand with it

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 April 2014 14:50 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/passover-with-a-strictly-biblical-flavor/2014/04/07/f6893c04-b531-11e3-b899-20667de76985_story.html

How Karaite Jews celebrate Passover (I've never heard of them before)
excerpt:

The Torah’s Book of Exodus, Chapter 12, offers one description of the instructions for Passover fare: “The Lord said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt: [Each household] shall eat [lamb] roasted over the fire, with unleavened bread and with bitter herbs” (Jewish Publication Society translation).

Remy Pessah of Mountain View, Calif., follows those words and long-standing family traditions each year at Passover time. Born in Egypt, the 66-year-old chemical engineer turned fiber artist was raised with Karaite Judaism. (“Karaite” is a form of the Hebrew word “karaim,” or “followers of Scripture.”) She joined the Karaite community in the San Francisco Bay area, which by some estimates includes more than 200 families. Pessah’s Seder table reflects this Jewish movement that takes its cues directly from the Tanach: the Torah, Prophets and additional texts known as Writings.

“Our Seder is pretty much different from the rabbinical Seders,” Pessah says. “The way we read the Haggadah, the preparation of the Haggadah, the whole atmosphere.”

It indeed differs, both in terms of the Haggadah, the book of readings that tells the Passover story and guides the Seder, and the meal. There are no Four Questions at a Karaite Seder. There is no fruity charoset and no wine — the latter is a fermented product. Instead, Pessah serves homemade grape juice.

The rabbinic Seders that Pessah referred to are what most observant American Jews know as the standard. Those Seders are based largely on the ancient rabbis’ redaction of the Tanach. That redaction is called the Oral Torah. The Karaites see the Oral Torah an interpretation rather than hard-and-fast rules. Some of the several thousand Karaites in the United States, especially those far from the Bay Area enclave, practice a mixture of Karaite and rabbinical traditions. The biggest Karaite community resides in Israel, and another pocket lives in Turkey.

curmudgeon, Friday, 11 April 2014 19:42 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/passover-seders-move-to-nights-that-work-for-busy-lives/2014/04/13/3eca9316-c106-11e3-bcec-b71ee10e9bc3_story.html

No Karaite Jews quoted here. This is about how Passover's 8 nights, and you may as well do the seder on a night that works for everyone to get together (according to some).

curmudgeon, Monday, 14 April 2014 14:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

We actually had a seder last night which is kind of ridiculous but that was what worked for my very secular in-laws.

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Monday, 14 April 2014 14:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

It's that time again!!!!

Hey Jews I wrote a little passover ditty, sung to the chorus of "Eye of the Tiger":

It's the
Bread of affliction
It's the bread of the Jews
Risen bread--it's not kosher during Pe-sach
And my boss--says "be careful! It is con-sti-pa-ting"
I-don't-care-I-just-ate-sev-en sheeeeeeeeeets
Of the mat-zah

― quincie, Sunday, April 12, 2009 9:44 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 April 2014 16:07 (1 week ago) Permalink

loool

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Monday, 14 April 2014 16:08 (1 week ago) Permalink

ooooh I need matzah crack recipe--the stuff with toffee and chocolate and nuts. Anyone?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 April 2014 16:09 (1 week ago) Permalink

i love that song

gbx, Monday, 14 April 2014 19:41 (1 week ago) Permalink

I need matzah crack recipe

hold on a sec let me ask my wife

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 14 April 2014 19:46 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2008/01/chocolatecovere/

Via google, but have never made it.

curmudgeon, Monday, 14 April 2014 19:51 (1 week ago) Permalink

Awesome, thanks!

I am seder-less this year, but I'm still gonna eat seven sheets of matzah, dammit!

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 14 April 2014 22:16 (1 week ago) Permalink

happy passover, jews!

I am so going to make that matzah crack omg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 April 2014 00:02 (1 week ago) Permalink

Happy pesach y'all

ביטקוין‎ (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 02:11 (1 week ago) Permalink


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