people that YELP are scumbags

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that would explain a lot! such as my burning question, how the fuck did she get her order taken to begin with?

xpost yeah right? ppl who go into vegan places/steakhouses/burger shacks when they are not the person who would eat that should stfu forever -- how hard is it to NOT go to a vegan place or a steakhouse? i manage to avoid both very easily, all of the time.

xp call all destroyer: The East Bay Express or was there another alt-weekly yelp expose?

i have very little to do right now and wanted to make a comment (sarahel), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:45 (fifteen years ago) link

im a-ok with yelp giving reviews to hilarious stuff like post offices and bus stops and fire hydrants and schizophrenics

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Yelp needs to implement a reviewer-quality ordering system for the reviews. Maybe color-coded too. Low-rated reviewers are at the bottom and have sickly vomit-colored borders on their reviews. High-rated reviewers get burrito-borders or something.

Monkey Pocket Boob (libcrypt), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:46 (fifteen years ago) link

What were George W's yelp ratings like?

i have very little to do right now and wanted to make a comment (sarahel), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:47 (fifteen years ago) link

xp libcrypt: But who would be evaluating the quality - other yelp reviewers?

i have very little to do right now and wanted to make a comment (sarahel), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:49 (fifteen years ago) link

Maybe. Or maybe do it like Urbandictionary.com.

Monkey Pocket Boob (libcrypt), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:50 (fifteen years ago) link

i dont think that would help anything, people are fucking retarded

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:51 (fifteen years ago) link

We can always ditch this useless "democracy" thing and go back to reading reviews of restaurants written by people whose job it is to review restaurants.

Monkey Pocket Boob (libcrypt), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:52 (fifteen years ago) link

sarahel it was in boston's weekly dig

call all destroyer, Friday, 3 April 2009 19:54 (fifteen years ago) link

food is the only area where i will put a decent amount of faith in a single critic over howling masses on the internet

hello my name is peter francis geraci are you in debt (omar little), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:56 (fifteen years ago) link

We can always ditch this useless "democracy" thing and go back to reading reviews of restaurants written by people whose job it is to review restaurants.

much better way to go, imho

Dane Cook's Illustrated (I DIED), Friday, 3 April 2009 19:58 (fifteen years ago) link

a good food critic is a hell of a thing

call all destroyer, Friday, 3 April 2009 20:00 (fifteen years ago) link

i hate those bullshit reviews that are basically dialogues of what occurred at the restaurant, usually casting the server/manager/clerk as this incredibly irredeemable douchebag and the reviewer as this patient and rational customer. usually they read something like

ME: Do you have any steak?
WAITRESS (snooty voice): Sorry, this is a VEGAN restaurant.
ME: Uh, okay, just wondering.
WAITRESS (bitchy voice): I can make other recommendations.
ME (taken aback): Yeah, I guess.

^ haha just found an actual one of these for a local place...

They actually SNEERED at me when I deigned to ask if they had milk to go with the coffee. Seriously, I get that you're a vegan, and that this is a vegan bakery, but there's no need to be mean.

Dane Cook's Illustrated (I DIED), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:04 (fifteen years ago) link

there's this ex-coworker of mine who has a blog in which every single entry is in the exact same style as what i posted above, actually. like casting himself as the hero in his own life in mini-scripts like that. i think people who do this exact thing are the worst people around, basically.

hello my name is peter francis geraci are you in debt (omar little), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:08 (fifteen years ago) link

there was a post on gawker today about some d-bag getting yelled at by hillary duff that was exactly that kind of story that made me irrationally mad, at, like, the internet

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:09 (fifteen years ago) link

I really love target but food avenue suck there is a girl her name is ashlee or some like that she had a really but costumer service i went today and i say can i have a large ice cream and she is like you want 1 or 2 scoops i say large she keep telling me 1 or 2 and i say the sing say large or small i dont know how many scoops the large had but i wana large. Ok i also order a soda and the total was 5 dollars my boyfriend went to toll her what flavor and she is like and the other one im like i say let me have a large ice cream and a soda i never say 2 icecream and she is like no you order 2 she say that few time. but anyway this is not the frist time that she give us actitude but i love target anyway.

Mr. Que, Friday, 3 April 2009 20:10 (fifteen years ago) link

^^my favorite part of Finnegans Wake

Mr. Que, Friday, 3 April 2009 20:11 (fifteen years ago) link

good 2 see that joe is reviewing stuff on yelp

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:11 (fifteen years ago) link

costumer service! Do want your clown mask to have a nose that makes a honking noise when you squeeze it or not?

i have very little to do right now and wanted to make a comment (sarahel), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:12 (fifteen years ago) link

lol i just read that gawker story, i'm on hillary duff's side tbh

hello my name is peter francis geraci are you in debt (omar little), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:13 (fifteen years ago) link

They actually SNEERED at me when I deigned to ask if they had milk to go with the coffee. Seriously, I get that you're a vegan, and that this is a vegan bakery, but there's no need to be mean.

err I don't think "deigned" is the right word here...although if the OP really felt like they were deigning to ask them then I can see how a sneer in response would be appropriate.

lil waynes babymama (musically), Friday, 3 April 2009 20:16 (fifteen years ago) link

Still more Yelp suspicions. This time in Santa Monica

An intriguing phone call came one day to Roll House Sushi last spring, sparking some interest in its owner about advertising opportunities on a business review Web site that was quickly growing in popularity.

"You have a lot of hits on your page and the reviews are great," restaurant owner Charlie Paratunya recalled hearing from a Yelp sales associate. "People love you."

The salesperson reportedly proceeded to ask if there was any interest in advertising opportunities, to which Paratunya responded that he would have to wait because his budget did not permit it, asking that Yelp check back later.

When the associate phoned again months later, Paratunya, after checking with his business partners, declined the offer, saying it wasn't the right time.

By then Paratunya had checked the Roll House Sushi page on Yelp several times, pleased with the number of reviews — about 20 — that had given him five out of a possible five stars. But after the second conversation with the Yelp sales associate, Paratunya said he began noticing that the positive reviews were getting deleted and the negative ones were getting pushed to the top.

Chris Barrus (Elvis Telecom), Saturday, 4 April 2009 20:29 (fifteen years ago) link

people who work at yelp are scumbags

house music nation (jergins), Saturday, 4 April 2009 21:11 (fifteen years ago) link

http://static.px.yelp.com/photo/cMZKsku52xN9yYNNd4ueMQ/l

CNTFACE (omar little), Tuesday, 7 April 2009 22:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh SNAP!
No wonder Snoop D O Double Gizzle loves this place!

It was definitely an experience. I mean, where else would the "host" be a big black man with a jacket and hat that both have the word SECURITY written across it? Only at Roscoe's!

I was impressed with the service, the atmosphere, and the food. It wasn't as "ghetto" as many people claim it to be.

I ordered #1 - SCOE's 1/4 chicken prepared southern style, 2 waffles $10.20. Whoa, talk about a heart attack on a plate! Everything was delicious! The chicken was moist and the skin was extra crispy *drool*. The waffles + syrup + butter = delicious! I had such a hard time deciding what to eat more of ... chicken? waffles? chicken? waffles? It didn't really matter because I couldn't have finished all of that food even if I really tried. The portions are HUGE!

I'm a fan! Although, I can't promise to be a regular customer because my badonkadonk would be out of control!

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fucken cumlord (omar little), Friday, 10 April 2009 06:09 (fifteen years ago) link

fucken cumlord

http://sf.eater.com/archives/2009/04/10/yelp_to_allow_business_comments_will_it_matter.php

Late yesterday, the AP broke the story that Yelp is going to allow businesses to respond to user reviews. The move is obviously a response to the wealth of negative Yelp press lately, and while it's probably a step in the right direction, there are some questions to be considered.

Will it improve the site? We'll reserve judgment until the actual feature is released, but we're doubtful. If there is any large-scale impact at all, allowing business owners—that is, the ones that don't ignore Yelp—to respond at will is likely to add to the already-overbearing white noise of the site. The reviews are already useless—Gary Danko has 1360, for example—and the possibility of adding a he-said, she-said feature isn't going to make things more helpful. And let's face it, some restaurateurs can be just as petty/explosive as Yelpers.

Will it improve Yelp's troubled reputation? On the surface, we're betting yes, even if it is, as we suspect, a token move to appease the increasingly-loud critics. It is a simple fix to a common complaint—that businesses don't have a voice. Reputation, reputation, reputation!

Ok, so what's in it for Yelp? Aside from the aforementioned damage control, the move—and it's a smart one—will prompt more business owners to go online, which is good for Yelp and Yelp's wallets. Note that the AP story points out that to respond, businesses must register for a free business owner's account. We're betting that once already online, a portion of them will be inclined to buy sponsorships. New feature = more business owners online = $.

Carroll Shelby Downard (Elvis Telecom), Saturday, 11 April 2009 01:17 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Yo-Yo-Yo. Word Up! I gotta rhyme for you.
Don't you dare turn the page. I got my eye on you.
My rhyme is so tight. It'll put a spell on you.
My rap is fresh and spankin' new.
Here I go. Here I go. Check, Baby. Check, Baby. 1-2-3.

I'm in the zone... Third Street Promenade's the street tonight.
The epicenter for shoppin' and eatin' right.
From the Buck Wolfgang Puck to Monsieur Marcel - oui, dawg!
To Houston's, Broadway Deli and Mickey Dee's.
Whatever you cravin' -- it's here for thee.
You hungry for steak 'n eggs, sushi, or mac 'n cheese.
3rd Street Promenade is the place to be.
From the Farmer's Market for collie greens, bushel of beets to organic greens.
Third street promenade the place for me.
It makes me alamand left and dosey-doe, and promenade over to my favorite store.

Third street promenade is the place to be.
For a movie, for a BBLD*, or a shopping spree.
Where else besides neighborhood mall can you find...
the Mac store, Urban Outfitters, Abercrombie and Bebe.
Anthropologie, Guess, and Old Navy.
Gap store, Barnes 'n Noble, and Old Macy's.
Pimp-smack patty whack give a dog a bone.
This tourist trap is nothing like home. Oh-No!
Or is it? It's got the same mall stores as any city, only Bling-Bling bigger for the $$$ Cha'-Ching $$$.

All the tourists on the street... Put your hands up! Yeah!
All the shopaholics with fake tans... Put your hands up!
All the Pruis driven locals... Put your hands up! Yeah!
Give it up for the street performers, musicians and 3rd street dancers.
Those krumpers 'n poppers that dance out of sight.
Pimp-snap, patty-whack-give a dawg a bone.
Drop a buck in a can for the poor man without a home. Oh-No! Awww, man! That's messed up! :-(

Warning: Paris Hilton, New York House Wives, Plastic People... beat it. My rap and 3rd Street ain't for you. Hit the skids, bitches! ha ha ha ha, watch your back pockets fellas. These narcissistic scants will take your soul. Yeah-Yeah! Oh-YA-AAAaaaaaa, BOY!!!
Word! PEACE-OUT!!!

*BBLD = Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch and Dinner.

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gangsta hug (omar little), Thursday, 4 June 2009 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

jesus

slugbaiting (rockapads), Friday, 5 June 2009 00:04 (fourteen years ago) link

this tiny family place I eat lunch at has been getting way more business these past few months because of yelp which is cool

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 5 June 2009 00:12 (fourteen years ago) link

i have to say all the yelp reviews of everything in my neighborhood are spot on.

akm, Friday, 5 June 2009 00:38 (fourteen years ago) link

do you live in a neighborhood full of scumbags?

L. Ron Huppert (velko), Friday, 5 June 2009 00:54 (fourteen years ago) link

no. all the yelp reviews of the establishments around here are very complimentary though. except for the reviews of black oak books (which just closed) which were appropriately filled with complaints.

akm, Friday, 5 June 2009 03:32 (fourteen years ago) link

i ate at some sushi place in midtown that yelp recommended and it was total shit. A lot of the positive reviews in New York equate "good" with "cheap"

Whiney G. Weingarten, Friday, 5 June 2009 03:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Brian V.
Chatham, NJ
4 star rating
7/28/2008

I almost knocked it down a star because just thinking about Subway gets that awful "5, 5 Dollar, 5 Dollar FootLOOOOOOOOONG" song in my head, but this is a good subway. The people generally make the food quick, they aren't shy with the toppings and it's clean.

I've only had one slightly bad experience here. Now I'm not one of those people who thinks everyone in 'Merica needs to learn 'Merican right when they move here, but if you're going to be in the food service industry, you should probably know enough to know what the toppings you're placing on sandwiches are. I asked for pickles, she started to put cucumbers on. And no, I don't think she was just suggesting I put the healthier version of pickles on my sandwich. From there, I just pointed out the remaining condiments and went on my way.

It's a good Subway, perfect place to pick up a quick dinner if you're getting off the train at 30th Ave.

L. Ron Huppert (velko), Friday, 5 June 2009 03:56 (fourteen years ago) link

Jason W.
Venice, CA
3 star rating
6/3/2008

I think it is okay. It is not that special. It is definitely the place to go in woodbury when you are between the ages of 15-25 (depending on when you leave town ha ha and if you can get out alive). It is kind of a sad existence. I mean socializing between tables. I must have known about three of the waitresses ( some people from woodbury, one of friends wife) here at different times. It makes me depressed to think about it. I have not seen these people for ever now and don't want to see them again. The food is not that good. It is greasy and unhealthy and will probably take a couple years of your life. However, the seats are pretty comfortable. They are open 24 hours too I think.

some of the greatest artists ever are bland (los blue jeans), Friday, 19 June 2009 02:27 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Melissa K.

Los Angeles, CA
1 star rating
8/26/2008

NO. i have not been to this place, but you know what? i am extremely disappointed. I didn't have to read any of the below reviews to support my theories.

This place is a joke. 3 "types" of ice cream? Are you serious? The website leads me to believe it is vanilla flavor in three different styles: soy, yogurt, ice cream. If you have shitty flavors I don't care about the 100 toppings you have and the millions of foul-tasting combinations I can come up with.

WTF. I'm sorry, SHEERAZ, maybe you should have done your research during the "12 years in the making" of millions of milkshakes. ICE CREAM IS THE MAIN INGREDIENT. TOPPINGS ARE JUST THAT--TOPPINGS. THEY ARE EXTRAS, they should be used to ENHANCE flavor, not MAKE it.

Instead of littering your website in a cheap attempt at advertising Hollywood.TV (What the hell is that? who visits that?), maybe you should have spent more time developing the SPECIAL OFFERS, and GALLERY sections. But the GALLERY section probably would be littered with pictures of you and D-List celebrities, wouldn't it? I was expecting photos of your product and store...

I'm really eager to know the price. I'm guessing at least $5 a pop. All a waste.

THE MOST BOGUS OF ALL (Maybe this is RareDaily's fault): RareDaily LA sent an email with the headline "Introducing the World's First Milkshake Bar"

Hmm, that is very odd, because I seem to have visited a Milkshake Bar in Bristol, England called "Shake King" in July 2007. Shake King has 150 FLAVORS OF ICE CREAM. And you have to take my word on this one. They do not have all of their toppings listed. I have pictures of the shop to prove that. I am willing to bet a good amount of money that they also beat Millions of Milkshakes 100 topping choices.

This is outrageous.

Man, you know you are a foodie when you get so upset about things like this!!

Cross-posted as a discussion topic incase this gets deleted!

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Gravel Puzzleworth, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:26 (fourteen years ago) link

I think that argument started falling apart when English milkshakes were used as a comparison point

nabisco, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link

do you have to tip at an english milkshake bar?

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 24 July 2009 21:28 (fourteen years ago) link

so much anger

akm, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:32 (fourteen years ago) link

btw I made the mistake of looking up a pizzeria on Yelp the other day, and while there is nothing outlandish about this post, it made me realize just how many people try too hard to be condescending and come off a bit tacky:

When I read that people are a) surprised that this isn't just like the slice you can get for 2 bucks on any NY corner and b) surprised at the price, I wonder if they even knew what kind of place they were going to. ... There are casual pizza and wing joints and then there are pizza restaurants that produce the kind of pizza that true Italians consider a meal and not just a casual snack, like Americans do. This is the latter. ... The flour is of a highly specific grade, as are the tomatoes and cheese that are used here. The result is a pie that you eat with a fork and knife (gasp! Yes, like a real meal. Can you handle it?) and that leaves you completely satisfied with an entire pie without feeling like you're entering a carb induced coma like you'd feel with just two slices of our "beloved" American versions. ... Once you can get past our view of pizza as stuff-your-face-while-watching-football food, you can come to appreciate what Keste has to offer.

nabisco, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:32 (fourteen years ago) link

the morbius of milkshakes

goole, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Whenever I go out nowadays I always have the vague suspicion that half the people in the restaurant/bar are on a YELP meetup. I hate my age group.

fields of salmon, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:34 (fourteen years ago) link

NB that was not intended as an insult toward English milkshakes (although c'mon), it's more just that it seems agreed on both sides of the Atlantic that modern UK milkshakes are just not even the same thing as US milkshakes, at all

nabisco, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

what is the yelp secret handshake

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 24 July 2009 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

you can come to appreciate what my Teste has to offer

velko, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

although wait, I guess if she's claiming this English place has loads of ice cream, they must be making American-style milkshakes, never mind

nabisco, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Ha ha.

The result is a pie that you eat with a fork and knife(gasp! Yes, like a real meal. Can you handle it?)

NO! I CAN'T HANDLE IT! I CANT HANDLE THIS PIZZA!

Mr. Que, Friday, 24 July 2009 21:36 (fourteen years ago) link


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