I used to want satisfying sex, now I just want 300 followers on Instagram: ILX gayz autumn sunrise 2015

Have sort of been waiting for someone to point out the bigger issue, which doesn't feel to be entirely about the movie itself (bad though I'm sure it is).

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2015/09/24/stonewall_roland_emmerich_s_controversial_movie_about_the_lgbt_riots_of.html

i'm refraining from opining about it either way until i actually see the thing (which, at my current moviegoing rate, will be in about 15 years)

but speaking of gay history, i've been going through leslie feinberg's 'lavender & red' columns from workers world these past few days - some really great stuff here, and each column is fairly bite-sized, which i like. i didn't know, eg, about pre-mattachine harry hay canvassing against the korean war at the gay beach in santa monica, or that sylvia rivera was affiliated with the young lords

http://www.workers.org/lavender-red/

gay activists giving a hoot about other issues -- quaint

Pop-up resto was good, I made scotch eggs, monte cristos (turkey, swiss and fresh basil leaves on raisin bread, dipped in eggs+milk+vanilla and fried), hanger steak on a bun with homemade mayo and shallot+red wine sauce, and a rather unpopular but delicious raspberry champagne sabayon for dessert.

Had a jogging date with a guy who is cute but our relationship is def pee and poo. He said "you look fucking hot what are you talking about" when I showed up and that was nice. Then I spent last night planning to avoid internet and irl people and stay in and read and listen to records, but ended up chatting with an ex-lover all night and it resulted in sexy pics and expressed desires to cross an ocean to be with each other <3 <3 </3 </3

Re: ex-bf. Our last phone call ended up with him laundry-listing all my faults, which I am already very aware of, and am in exercise/on meds/sober/in therapy to try and fix, no acknowledgement of any things he could do to change/fix things for either Us or for Himself, me crying a lot, him accusing me of crying-for-the-purpose-of-emotional-manipulation, which made me near hysterical, and eventually we agreed to communicate only via e-mail for the time being. He said he'd write me, 36 hours later he hasn't :(

jeezus who really needs a catalog of their faults past age 25

After then, we need an encyclopedia.

We talked on the phone, it's done

I'm watching Shoot the Moon rn in your honor.

"Alien Observer" on repeat over here

i almost broke up with the bf for the 6th time last night? i too am the fucked up one quote unquote, but i'm not nearly as fucked up quote unquote as i used to be, like at all, except now i drink too much, because i gave all of my other fucked up things up. except weed. anyway, point being, i am really so sorry, again, and i can relate, more than you know. i get angry when he tries to "fix" me because i'm not "damaged" but i have dealt with damage and sometimes he doesn't acknowledge that. and i'm never going to be that wife who just nods and says OK but he's also never going to be the wife who doesn't expect the world so finding that middle ground has been a bitch. i wind up talking myself in sentences and loops that eventually become mind-dumbing, and crying, and then i get the "why are you crying" look too and that also sends me over the edge because, i don't know, it's obvious why and i'm obviously not enjoying it so. yeah. i get it. and if you ever need to talk you can send me a message.

I almost assaulted an impossibly handsome former student/friend during drinks on Thursday. Me: Now that you're single, I should help you pick your clothes. Him: I'm sure you will.

good goin' bro

winter is usually when i go out all the time so with everything that has gone down this summer (i literally fell down the stairs on Friday, if that isn't the end of summer i don't know what is) who the F knows what the snow has in store for me! we'll seeeeeeeee!!!!!!

you guyz are really giving a Hell Is Other People seminar this weekend. (except for Alfred's former student, i'd like to buy him a drink)

i'm looking forward to fearing slipping on ice and snapping my bones for the 5 months of winter we now have in NYC every year.

but til then there's the NY Film Fest and the METS!

yay!!! i know we're being a bit, how to say it, MORBID.

me crying a lot, him accusing me of crying-for-the-purpose-of-emotional-manipulation

this is supremely shitty and your ex belongs in the garbage imho

to be fair a lot of things get said in those conversations. he may very well belong in the garbage but i've said plenty of shitty things too, as has RQ.

What surm said.

We are frequently shitty to the people we love, as shitty as that is.

i dunno, i reacted strongly to that because i've been accused of the same, though not by my partner, but by my parents. "you're feelings aren't real; you're only performing them to manipulate me" is an extremely narcissistic attitude and betrays as a complete lack of compassion towards emotional distress.

i learned to conceal my emotions as a result, and when they do come out it can be overwhelming. basically any powerful emotion makes me cry, and in my relationship i've had to make clear when it happens that it's not strategic.

so anyway, my claim that he should be thrown in the garbage stands, with an amendment that such garbage should be fed to pigs.

i totally feel you and have been accused of the same by my parents and other people in my life. it's pretty horrible and you have to fight it.

obvious your / you're typo there, but you get what i mean xp

I know, right? Honestly, so much of his behaviour has been actually Emotionally Abusive and it's been funny that, like, I'm able to observe it as abusive and yet still feel the effects of it. It's not like "your hurtful statements are read at face value", but more like "why would you make such hurtful statements to me when I love you so much?"

Anyway we met face to face and are angling toward reconciliation, but still have a lot to do. It sounds so annoying I am annoying I am the worst but I gave him a list of changes he needed to make if we were going to stay coupled.

you're neither annoying nor the worst and i really hope with whatever happens between you & your guy that he stops being shitty to you

i got to a point where i was past the line of entertaining any kind of intimidation. i have dealt with it in the past, and eventually i just started fighting back in a big way. people will not respect you if you don't. now i'm trying to compromise - pick my battles - but it's a tough line.

anyway i fractured 3 ribs on Friday! i'm practicing telling people so i don't like a complete idiot if it comes up at work. i'm going to take "Tylenol 3"

ramz!

how did you fracture three ribs

i fell down a flight of stairs

i'm ok though

I didn't even presume you had bones at all until now, b**.

i do. and now i have to let them rest. like an engine that's been on for too long. as long as i'm in good shape by Halloween everything is OK

I still don't have a Halloween costume. Help me!

something Roman or Greek. God-like.

i don't think i can actually go to bed tonight. it just feels so pointless. i'm just going to wake up again. i'm a morning person. what can i say?

I thought surm was going to say he broke his ribs after intense "Murder, She Wrote"-inspired coitus.

does it hurt when you breathe, kiddo?

Sorry sur, you're young, you will heal fast.

Gays, I'm in IBIZA. XXX

eebeetha?

I still don't have a Halloween costume. Help me!

Sexy Kim Davis

Oh, I should finally do sexy section of drywall!

i was thinking of going as a minotaur, but now i just want to pay rent

yah Morbs but i already got it checked out and he said it is not a bad break, so it will heal fine. i just need to be on good behavior for a month or so. like i said boys summer is over and fall is here with a ... fall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5e8FvDQcSg

lol yea that's p much me

man. this seems like a weird difficult time for a lot of people rn

i have v minor surgery next week assuming i still have insurance (the co. i work for has officially moved from 'financially troubled' to 'hindenberg-ian')

eergh

sorry guys, group hug

shots!

http://www.miami.com/sites/migration.miami.com/files/images/Martini%20Tuesdays%201.jpg

wouldve called for a group meetup in SF last Friday

http://al-jourgensen.squarespace.com/blog/2015/9/8/beer-steers-and-queers-the-dance-party

i'm living in the wrong city

Be glad you're not saying "world" yet.

what's going on

currently an unemployed deadbeat squeezing every last cent out of a severance package. kind of loving it though.

gay as ever…

heyyyy lou!

loulou! <3

*cues Rock n Roll Animal version of "Sweet Jane"*

for xmas my bub got me a gengoroh tagame tank!! <3 <3

http://i.imgur.com/EVoRWzJ.jpg

looks very hot. hi.

hi surm!!

hi!! xoxx

is that lou up there? lou, i've been meaning to find you

so somebody give me the lowdown on fall. three sentences would be sufficient but feel free to expound if you like.

fall?

yes didn't it just end? i wasn't around for it so i was just curious if there were a general tone around these parts.

how's it going ramz?!

no job + warm enough to wear shorts in December = my favorite fall in a while

good!! that sounds very nice :) just been thinking about you is all. would be great if we can chat sometime

i've been listening to Erotica lately, it's very fun to get ready to

fall fell
yes, i enjoyed all the manlegs from our extinction-ready mildness
worst Christmas drama ever, do fall esp looks good now

lovin' the stray gray in the beard, C!

start winter thread

best post thx

My momma made me learn this song: a gay Winter for 2015