marketing of masculinity

:)

there was a dude who maintained the warehouse area at my dad's workplace who wouldn't buy toilet paper for the restroom. I guess he'd never bought toilet paper in his life?

didn't realise that using toilet paper was a feminine thing to do but well i guess if i wanna remain masculine i must make sacrifices

just manscape when it gets too clumpy

real men use bidets.

real men don't buy paper products, you mom buys those and then your wife when you move directly from your parents' home

I was listening to broadcast FM radio yesterday and discovered the haircut chain Sportsclips ends with "pick up your manhood and grab your Y chromosome and come to Sportsclips!"

They also had a line to the effect of, "You know those tv shows you watch with your wife about cupcakes and flowers? We don't have those, we have sports all the time"

The phrasing is off, but they really did say "cupcakes and flowers"

As a man, I avoid cupcakes. They go straight to my thighs.

So do sports.

grab both ur y chromosomes

"the only unassailable masculine act is policing masculinity" is a truthbomb once dropped on me

except women do it all the time ofc

brosé
brosé
brosé
brosé
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brosé

Kinda feel like this belongs here: Ed Hardy and Von Dutch designer Christian Audigier dead at 57.

I never pronounced him. :(

http://consumerqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/bounce_dryer_sheets.jpg

ah, so that's where "homies" came from.

PURE SPORT

Nothin' *soft* about this fabric softener!

Every 'men's scent' product smells like some bullshit to me. Weirdly atringent or piney or something.

they mostly make me want to throw up. I use an unscented deodorant.

they all smell like a cheapass version of stetson or old spice

Yes, basically.

They smell like someone's dad mowing the lawn. I mean, not literally, but you know what I mean.

you can't get a peppery musk to smell good after being blasted on to dryer sheets, stuck on a shelf, and then baked on to clothing in a dryer

who'd have thought

dudes get wiped out, totally

http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Wipes-Flushable-Singles-Travel/dp/B008LXBZF2

DUDE WIPES: FOR YOUR ASSHOLE

Dude Wipes are the first wipes for Dudes, ever. You use 'em after toilet paper during any duece and the rest is chill. Also great for a quick clean up of your face, hands, armpits, and dude regions. They'll keep ya fresh and stunna anywhere and everywhere. I Guarantee It (Men's Wearhouse Voice)

Saw these at Kroger and just assumed they had already been - ahem - covered on this thread already.

You use 'em after toilet paper during any duece and the rest is chill. Also great for a quick clean up of your face, hands, armpits, and dude regions.

I feel like anyone who actually is going to pay money for these are going to need much more explicit directions than this.

apparently they're also going to need dudelier wipes:

9 of 13 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
Simply an individually packaged babywipe
By Evan on January 10, 2014
With the nice modern image and masculine name, I expected a wipe that would have some sort of masculine scent to it. Upon receipt, I was surprised to find out they smell very much like an baby wipe. Not worth it.

packaging looks great but the scent is not manly at all. Its like they repackaged women's wet wipes.

You use 'em after toilet paper during any duece and the rest is chill

dang this is just wonderful

during??

it's very normal for both men and women to use these "wipes" in japan. i use them and was baffled at why it never caught on in north america (where people smell worse than in japan).

but if you want a super clean asshole you go with a washlet/bidet, obviously. can't recommend it enough!

In my elementary school, it was known that "dude" was slang for an elephant butt hair. Good name.

They HAVE caught on in America for years and are a huge problem for metropolitan sewer systems.

Xp

it must be city-specific. i've lived in a few different cities in north america and have only seen the men's ones maybe once or twice. so i usually use the women's ones, which are available everywhere.

Oh, I've never noticed a gender specificity. I'm just talking about generic wet wipes.

You use 'em after toilet paper during any duece and the rest is chill. Also great for a quick clean up of your face, hands, armpits, and dude regions.

I feel like anyone who actually is going to pay money for these are going to need much more explicit directions than this.

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Tuesday, September 29, 2015 1:42 PM (53 minutes ago)

pretty self-explanatory, do a deuce, grab a wipe, swab the hole the face the hands the pits the junk, DONE

xp

maybe i just assumed the generic wet wipes was a women's thing? whoops.

at any rate, it's good news!

now if we can get bidets installed in every toilet in the us/canada!

tbh they never caught on in the US because it clogs up plumbing and americans are grossed out by the idea of something with poo on it being in their trash can

...and rightfully so?

can't they make them flushable? it says flushable on the packaging

Oh wait, you're probably not supposed to use a dozen at one time, are you?

it's flushable if you have excellent plumbing, your city has a sewer system in amazing condition, and a water treatment plant that is in tip-top shape

I think nowhere in north american qualifies. Especially not apartment buildings.

it's flushable in the sense of "if we write 'flushable' on the package people will buy it, and our other division sells liquid-plumr"

well, i've been flushing them in my last three apartments, and have never had a clogged toilet, knock on wood.

ugh. i wonder if they're causing some other problems down another pipe for other people

it's a safe bet

somewhere there is a tiny plumber in overalls with a giant mustache shaking his fist at you

mamma mia!