In the event of Rapture all other teams will be Left Behind: the 2015 St. Louis Cardinals

https://twitter.com/OnionSports/status/593064680282824704

lol

so tim cooney gets the start thursday

alright, the philly pitcher is making his debut today and doesn't appear to be very good. former RP who converted to a SP in 2014 with poor results. doing meh in 2015 and now called up.

their maddening tendency to score 3 to 4 runs in every single game ever (or at least it seems to me) is gonna start getting really old once the starters stop dominating.

first all-panamanian battery ever, tho

could be a high point of the phillies' season

2 Matts Matted In, this triggers the rapture!

http://i.imgur.com/K3UY2Ax.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/K3UY2Ax.jpg

matheny's decision to bat jay leadoff to 'kickstart the offense' pays off!

this offense is a suddenly roaring lawnmower XL -T that also creates a mediocre starting pitcher to wail on

i appreciate tim cooney wearing 66 as a tribute to mario lemieux

rip

yeah, he looked awful. luckily he's just filling in until Marco Gonzalez is ready to go (i'd assume). lyons may take the next start, though.

if you're gonna top out at 86, your breaking ball and change have to be filthy and your command has to be spot on. Cooney's probably a couple years away.

so awkward when they kept cutting to his mom

Would you guys take Lohse back? You need a starter, the Brewer need prospects, bing.

uh you know, maybe you guys hold onto Lohse for a while...*sprints in opposite direction*

Choate with the 1 pitch day of work

The Cardinals' five current rotation members—Lance Lynn ($7 million), Carlos Martinez ($522,000), Michael Wacha ($520,000), John Lackey ($507,500), and Cooney ($507,500)—cost a collective $9.075 million. Garcia and Wainwright constitute $28.875 million worth of starting pitching on the DL.

do you see how you are

oh man

>_>
playing slightly above .500 rest of the way would probably be enough for playoffs

Yeah, I was just thinking that too. It would be nice if the offense could *click* though. i love how everyone was loving the new look lineup when we were wailing on philadelphia, but as soon as we played a decent team the bats went silent.

we have a 2.21 team era but wahhhh the bats are silent wahhhh

mookie you're acting like your team just lost three heartbreaking games in a row or something

for real though, the pitching has been absurdly good but it can't last for too much longer

(actually the pirates' pitching has been really good too -- they're second in era behind the cardinals, albeit half a run behind -- but they've not taken much advantage. mccutchen should never have cut his hair)

jfc, Matheny is on Fresh Air this morning

Baseball’s Mike Matheny on Coaching Kids and Major Leaguers
The show talks with former major league catcher, and former coach of a youth baseball team Mike Matheny. When he began coaching kids he set up rules for parents that included no screaming, no swearing and even no shouts of encouragement during their kids’ games. He’s written a new book, "The Matheny Manifesto," about his approach to sports. He’s now manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.

too bad fresh air isn't a call-in show. it'd be awesome to call in pretending to have question about the rapture or something, but then ambush him with questions about how often he lets his starting pitchers bat in the bottom of the 6th inning with runners on, only to sub in a relief pitcher with one out in the top of the 7th

Our pen has 3 double A guys right now. Feel like one of these Cubs games could see a long man take a beating.

since i enjoy searching for bad news, here is some:

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/yadier-molina-forgot-how-to-frame-a-pitch/

Yadier Molina is falling apart. It’s not his hitting, and it’s not his base running. It’s too early in the season to say much that is meaningful about those skills, which can take months of stats to become reliable.

It’s the Cardinals catcher’s defense that’s a mess. Molina’s pitch framing has collapsed, dropping from third-best in 2013 to 60th in 2015.

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/a/26250

<_<

http://www.365rundown.com/fan-rushes-the-field-during-cubs-cardinals-game-successfully-runs-past-security-to-touch-home-platevideo/

the cardinals announcers were so sanctimonious about why running on the field is bad, it was ridiculous

Matt Carpenter: 1st Cardinals player with 20 extra-base hits in the team's first 26 games of a season since Stan Musial in 1954.

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo)

well at least they can't walk off in pittsburgh

21 (or 22) and 7 is pretty damn hardcore, especially after losing one's #1 starter

I wonder if there is an extra motivation wrt to Taveras.

perhaps for carlos martinez, but no

They are on a roll for sure, although they've benefitted from quite a bit of good luck. Still, the path to at least a wild card is clear, barring a major disaster. This might be their last really good year (anticipating decline / regression soon), so hopefully Mozeliek will be able to make a move for a decent SP without giving away Alex Reyes. Or, even better, maybe Marco Gonzalez will make the most of his opportunity and no trade would be necessary in the first place.

Wow, matheny is stupidly bringing in rosenthal right now, just so he can get the Save. Even though he needs a rest.

RIP allen craig :( (sent down to AAA)

hopefully he'll be able to figure it out, or at least heal up.

srsly take him back idk what the hell happened to him, he's healed now and is now having buchholz-esque confidence battles

is he totally healed? i haven't followed his health closely since the trade. it's baffling, though, he was so consistent before the injury, one of those guys who always seems to make solid contact day in and day out.

yea he had that oft-repeated .400-plus BA with runners in scoring position. and from what everyone's saying officially he is completely healthy

currently .135/.237/.192, -0.4 bWAR. in the 2nd half of last year, .128/.234/.191, -0.5

he needs to be sent to a tropical island for 6 months with no baseball anywhere. how ac gets his groove back.

Still, the path to at least a wild card is clear, barring a major disaster.

Will you shaddap? They will win the division by at least 6 games.

a major disaster is always just a pitch away, you never know!

yea morbs otm 2015 is not the year the red birds' pact with the devil expires.

after that, they are prob in a boat similar to the tigers where the party will still be sort of happening but winding down, conversations between remaining attendees are getting kind of dark - and then the hangovers and/or puking begin

i still think an injury to peralta, carpenter, or molina would accelerate the puking. they've already weathered the loss of wainwright, and if holliday went down they'd be alright (with Jay and Bourjos both playing full-time and grichuk as the 4th OF), but they have zero depth in the IF.

the first two yea, but molina missed 52 games last year and they did alright alternating a.j. pukezynski and tony cruz!

no way, that sucked! i don't know what the stats were for AJ and Cruz during that specific period, but i think they hovered around 0.0 WAR. molina's absence was definitely felt.

skinny yadi isn't having such a hot season this year, either. his contact is decent but his power is gone. and his defense is diminished. he's not a bad defender by any means, of course, but i've noticed more people running on him, and his throws are just off so far, off target, and a bit late.

yikes, AJP was -0.6 WAR on STL last year

i guess what i meant was, it didn't lead to any prolonged losing streaks as far as I can tell from the baseball ref 2014 game log - but yea there is virtually no situation of recent vintage in which AJ is a net positive as a defensive catcher, he either doesn't hurt you or he hurts you. although apparently in ATL he can hit things so far.

yeah, AJ was a nightmare last year. He was doing so badly, and yet everyone was bending over backward to talk about how great he was, and how his "personality" was just what the cardinals needed, someone to toughen everyone up and inject some life into the clubhouse, or something.

side note, but where are all the good young catchers? seems to be an outage across the board in baseball, even in the minor leagues. the cardinals have a bunch of guys who all project to hit wRC+ 75 (note that i'm making this up) with average defense. and even in the draft (which i know nothing about tbh) word on the street is that catching looks to be weak this year, again.

on of them is on the red sox and is recovering from TJ, one is also on the red sox and seemingly overmatched by major league pitching on the offensive and defensive end, ummmm, does sal perez on the royals count at only 25?

i dunno shit about draft prospects either lol

josmil pinto on the twins (26) was highly touted, currently in AAA