OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

lol @ "yoga columnist, admirer of trees" in his bio

who are these people who still think statements like that are big truth to power moments? aside from the otts and auks and austerlitzes, of course.

"Mark has been described a few ways -- as a Lenny Bruce character, or as a Generation X Hunter S. Thompson, or as a liberal redneck," Kershner said. "He has a following, but he's always close to the edge."

everyone gets older faster these days

http://www.sfgate.com/business/article/3-Staffers-Suspended-Over-SF-Gate-Column-2937413.php

got an couple hours?

All of those descriptions of Morford are too flattering, even liberal redneck.

Is it still 2004 in San Francisco?

fixie bike jokes is some real trenchant social commentary in 2015

what about microbrew zings tho

Nice to see he takes time out of his schedule of yoga therapy and admiring trees to engage in pointless culture-bashing rants. Nothing more enlightened than jokes about PBR.

aside from the otts and auks and austerlitzes

this one is actually the worst

pretty sure it's lifted from a Frank Barone column written for Everybody Loves Raymond, though

just about every sentence of that is completely moronic

“Bro! Did you read our Carly Rae bit? Can you believe us? We are so meta! I bet no one saw that coming. How hipster can you get, but to like the least hipster act there is in this modern world right now? Someone punch me in the face!

“Next up, we praise a Kardashian. Shut up! Who wants a PBR?”

yeah boy do they ever have the writer of that carly rae jepsen piece pegged, such an indie loving hipster

http://www.vox.com/2015/4/21/8441443/hozier-profile-interview

reading this actually hurt me; I am a broken man

article nails that "sponsored content" feel

totally unaware of Hozier up to now. reads like Russell Brand's Infant Sorrow lead singer character

"He's a naturalist. He plucks the guitar strings with his fingers."

get the fuck outta here

picks are so artifical

"Most of the songs are meaty, desperate, and honest about the world we live in."
Hozier 2015: Meaty, Desperate and Honest About the World We Live In

"He's a naturalist. He plucks the guitar strings with his fingers, while naked."

"He refuses to brush his fluffy mane of brown hair, writes his songs based off a feeling, and doesn't let a piece of plastic come between him and his chords"

His guitar tech has to put his capo on for him.

Where other artists hire songwriters to build out their hits for them, Hozier wrote his in an attic.

"Hozier's set is lit with electronic candles"

you'd think he'd go with real candles

"He's a naturalist. He plucks the guitar strings with his fingers, while naked."

http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/67/6718/FVLA100Z/posters/a-shot-in-the-dark-a-peter-sellers-1964.jpg

Most of the songs are meaty, desperate, and honest about the world we live in.

http://meatcampbaptistchurch.org/

can't tell if people are deliberately confusing naturalist with naturist itt

not that either has anything to do with guitar playing

#standup4nudists

Hozier fan 'completes' "perfect interview". Is that possible for you?

there are no guitar picks taped to the tall mic stand in front of him. He refuses to brush his fluffy mane of brown hair, writes his songs based off a feeling, and doesn't let a piece of plastic come between him and his chords.

this really is one of the dumbest things I've ever read

he should just stretch his own fingers over a fretboard and resonator and play them

MEATY 'n' DESPERATE

hoping that guitar pick thing is just a reductio ad absurdum parody of the discourse of authenticity

bet u could get some cool sounds flicking the free end of a sounding rod

he should save that for the tour bus

I bet he authentically picks food out his teeth with just his fingernails, too.

wow this is a misfire right from the first sentence

knew I was done with Hozier when I caught him using a waterpik

"Hozier is also 6-foot-5. When he takes the stage at the Lincoln Theatre in Washington, DC, in March, wearing all denim and carrying a guitar that sparkles under the lights, he towers over the other members of his band."

Between this and all of the marketing for Tobias Jesso Jr. making a big deal over him being 6-foot-7, are we treating music like the NBA draft now?

"Andrew Hozier-Byrne is a titan — musically and literally. He plays music professionally, and he is also one of the first divine issue of Gaia and Uranus"

"Long wingspan, averaged 10 songs per hype cycle"

When he takes the stage at the Lincoln Theatre in Washington, DC, in March, wearing all denim and carrying a guitar that sparkles under the lights, he towers over the other members of his band."

This reminds me of a student who once wrote, "Because he was tall, he looked over the heads of his classmates."

just pitching in from the ilx brigade weirdos but fingerpicks are tough to learn but ultimately really help your articulation and devlopment as a fingerstyle player, step yo game up hozier

"Hozier is also 6-foot-5. When he takes the stage at the Lincoln Theatre in Washington, DC, in March, wearing all denim and carrying a guitar that sparkles under the lights, he towers over the other members of his band."

Between this and all of the marketing for Tobias Jesso Jr. making a big deal over him being 6-foot-7, are we treating music like the NBA draft now?

― klonman, Tuesday, April 21, 2015 5:16 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a long, athletic true senior from arizona state, hozier has an explosive first move, but questions about his toughness and commitment to defense have scouts questioning his ability to be a true NBA wing. excellent at penetrating the lane, he needs to develop a go-to post move and improve his three-point shooting. still, his upside and his ability to play naked and without guitar picks should make him a mid-first round draft pick. playing in the right system, perhaps for greg popovich or t-bone burnett, he could develop into a solid rotational 3 in the league

man my fat thumb never goes into those things right, always feels like i've got a c-clamp on in about 10 minutes

xp lmao

pssh picks are for small-handed 5-8 manlets.

a long, athletic true senior from arizona state, hozier has an explosive first move, but questions about his toughness and commitment to defense have scouts questioning his ability to be a true NBA wing. excellent at penetrating the lane, he needs to develop a go-to post move and improve his three-point shooting. still, his upside and his ability to play naked and without guitar picks should make him a mid-first round draft pick. playing in the right system, perhaps for greg popovich or t-bone burnett, he could develop into a solid rotational 3 in the league

― kurt kobaïan (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, April 21, 2015 6:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And in FULL DENIM! Amazing.

Damn, DJP - I just rushed here to post that as soon as I saw it

I think we have a winner (and not just for the year)