In the event of Rapture all other teams will be Left Behind: the 2015 St. Louis Cardinals

would watch

i can understand a pitcher being unhappy when someone behind him makes an error, but lackey's body language is like asshole performance art

Jenifer Langosch @LangoschMLB
#stlcards OF Tommy Pham headed to see Texas physician re: his left quad strain. Three weeks after sustaining injury, he's not feeling right.

:( feel so bad for this guy.

i know it's just spring training, but the cardinals came in dead last in runs scored (by a wide margin, too), and were near the very bottom in HRs, SLG, OPS, pretty much every offensive stat that wasn't weakly grounding out to 2B. they did lead the NL in SBs, but i'm trying to track down how many times they were caught stealing, because that must have set some sort of record.

ah, found it. they led MLB in caught stealing, and ended up with a 67.5% SB%

http://mlb.mlb.com/assets/images/3/0/0/81074300/cuts/Waino2_t0hmahpz_v01uw182.jpg

i don't think he has the correct number of stars there.

matheny on psychology and wainwright as the opening day starter:

"I don't know if it's a psychological advantage over the opposition, but I think it's a psychological advantage for our club to where that's the guy who is leading our pitching staff."

...definitely

that's why bartolo : is the mets' opening day starter

went ahead and made this in preparation for the season, sure it will come in handy

https://38.media.tumblr.com/e3c19beace710ea2b174ad13a297ff66/tumblr_nmak1xMXK11qdmmiqo1_500.gif

hahahahahaaaaa

great crowd! this game already feels more intense than any game these two have played in several years

https://twitter.com/BestFansStLouis/status/584869281214652418/photo/1

wooooooooooooooooow.

i hope this season is a classic. getting such good vibes (not just from the run in the first inning either, i promise)

all the nl central games feel important this year

def because 3 of its teams have the potential to be great and the brewers could be goodish sustainably and...there are also the reds, they do stuff...

will lester attempt to throw to 1B?

seriously weird he never threw to 1B in all of 2014, i mean how in the

would've really loved if he had and gotten kolten wong, would remind me of a certain other time kolten wong got thrown out at first

but alas

*koltentears*

wainwright has no right to complain about the strike zone at this point

but seriously, it is def just not a thing he does since 2011, seems like he would rather work himself out of jams

which did not really always work! but last year it was kind of a nonissue - until the wild card game.

two runs matted in already

ouch, jon lester coming up in the 8th position in the order, TLR style, with 2 outs and a runner on 3B.

joe maddon...is a genius

cool strike zone tonight

it's...not consistent to say the least

that Heyward trade is already looking good, unsurprisingly

Cubs already giving us gifs, how nice of them

yikes, cubs kind of looking bad news bears out there right now!

yadi has a tiny guy butt now

Phil Coke is on the Cubs now?

I think Schilling just had a stroke trying to explain what's wrong with Martinez's mechanics.

yeah, i watched that with the sound at a very low volume and it sounded insane

i love watching martinez pitch. even when it's nerveracking. his pitches have such movement, you can't look away

At least this is probably the last time I'll listen to the ESPN game crew this season.

yikes, Soler having a rough time tonight.

uh, i though Martinez was going to be starting?!

he is, but he's 5th in the rotation and the cardinals have 3 off-days in the first two weeks of the season, so he probably won't see a start for a while.

ah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdSoFvmoaWI

http://giant.gfycat.com/SpottedWholeJunco.gif

el gallo's change is looking gooooooood, and should be a weapon against lefthanders this year.

http://www.vivaelbirdos.com/2015/4/8/8351355/carlos-martinez-changeup-st-louis-cardinals-baseball-mlb

that ball almost got raptured

heard that huge douchebag Curt Schilling was ripping on him during the opening night broadcast which makes me like Carlos more and more.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CCblC-4UIAAMfi0.jpg:large

yikes

that's bad

fuck

especially because the cubs are going to be dominating from 2016-?? and the pirates won't be far behind

I do think it is a cool retro design, but it is a total F.U. (aka the Cardinal Way).

Hey it's not bragging if you can back it up, I'm sure Cardinal fans will eat it up.

Wait that's real?