In the event of Rapture all other teams will be Left Behind: the 2015 St. Louis Cardinals

Well maybe it'll payoff when he's got less miles on his arm down the road. In happier news - Wacha spring 1.76 ERA 16k 1bb

Former Cardinals player punched at St. Louis County gas station after racial slur

Former Cardinals outfielder Curt Ford said Thursday he may move away from the St. Louis area in disgust after being punched in an allegedly unprovoked, race-related attack at a gas station.

"I'm going to let the authorities handle this situation, but I've had enough of St. Louis," Ford said in a phone interview Thursday. "You hear about this kind of stuff happening, and I always knew it existed because of my previous experience working here in St. Louis, but you try to keep away from it and there is just no way you can do that unless you stay inside like a hermit.

bourjos doubled today! now 4-for-33

martinez = fifth starter

gonzales to memphis

on the other hand, pete kozma has made the team

he's out of options.

we are all, sadly, out of options

at least this should the final year for kozma. i'm much more comfortable with his role on the team now, with peralta and wong comfortably in front of him. as long as you just focus on his decent defense and assume that every single one of his plate appearances will end up as a weak groundball to 2B, he's not as much of a let down.

carlos villanueva: swinger

Villanueva has never made more than 16 starts or logged fewer than 33 appearances. With the exception of one season he spent fully in the bullpen, he has also always made at least five starts. That puts him in some extremely rarified air.

When it comes to moving back-and-forth from bullpen to rotation, nobody swings like Carlos Villanueva.

Setting the parameters for what constitutes a swingman is a bit arbitrary, but Ben's initial framework seems solid - 16 or fewer starts and at least 33 appearances. That means we're talking about guys who made at least twice as many appearances in relief as starting. We'll also need some kind of floor to separate guys who were really just relievers who only made a couple of token starts. I'll set the minimum at five starts - the fewest Villanueva has made.

Under those conditions, Carlos Villanueva has qualified as a "swingman" in seven different seasons. No other pitcher since 1920 has met those conditions in more than five. (If you bump the minimum number of starts down to three, Villanueva is still the king, though a couple others come closer with six seasons.)

https://cdn2.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/uTI1KzogLSeYJn6OQYbbKPkG0b0=/0x1419:3264x3595/730x487/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/45626576/usa-today-7849024.0.jpg

Lindbergh w/ Wrath of Khan ref

http://grantland.com/the-triangle/2015-mlb-nl-central-preview-cardinals-pirates-cubs-brewers-reds/

the rotation is set:

wainwright
lynn
lackey
wacha
martinez

surprised to see wacha down at #4, considering that he has a good chance of outpitching wainwright this year (that may be overly optimistic, but not by much), but maybe it has to do with managing his IP count?

did the cards have to pay lackey real money or did he honor that injury clause & is only making the league minimum?

league minimum. there's been discussion of paying him more, but only if it's part of an extension deal, and lackey seems to be holding out for free agency.

well at least that means he'll try & pitch well if he still wants to play! regardless of where that might be.

it's dark times indeed where i sort of miss john lackey on the sox :/

i feel bad but i kind of dislike lackey just because of the FACE he makes as he waits for the catcher to give him a sign. it's just this really stupid, open-mouthed bleeeeehhhhh. lance lynn's dopey face is just as bad if not worse, but i guess i've had more time to get used to it.

my evaluations of starting pitchers uses a complex blend of advanced stats and facial analysis.

lol, yea he does look pretty hickish and redassed, which seems like it matches his persona

i mean personally he's a huge douche. see "lackey, john, marital relations, 2011." also see, "chicken and beer," and sadly i don't mean the excellent ludacris album

but maaaaaan he was pretty all right in 2013 and even 14

shoot, i knew about chicken & beer but not about the divorce thing. yikes.

this year i kinda want to take screen shots of every pitcher doing their stupid face as they look at the catcher between pitches and make one really long video montage

would watch

i can understand a pitcher being unhappy when someone behind him makes an error, but lackey's body language is like asshole performance art

Jenifer Langosch @LangoschMLB
#stlcards OF Tommy Pham headed to see Texas physician re: his left quad strain. Three weeks after sustaining injury, he's not feeling right.

:( feel so bad for this guy.

i know it's just spring training, but the cardinals came in dead last in runs scored (by a wide margin, too), and were near the very bottom in HRs, SLG, OPS, pretty much every offensive stat that wasn't weakly grounding out to 2B. they did lead the NL in SBs, but i'm trying to track down how many times they were caught stealing, because that must have set some sort of record.

ah, found it. they led MLB in caught stealing, and ended up with a 67.5% SB%

http://mlb.mlb.com/assets/images/3/0/0/81074300/cuts/Waino2_t0hmahpz_v01uw182.jpg

i don't think he has the correct number of stars there.

matheny on psychology and wainwright as the opening day starter:

"I don't know if it's a psychological advantage over the opposition, but I think it's a psychological advantage for our club to where that's the guy who is leading our pitching staff."

...definitely

that's why bartolo : is the mets' opening day starter

went ahead and made this in preparation for the season, sure it will come in handy

https://38.media.tumblr.com/e3c19beace710ea2b174ad13a297ff66/tumblr_nmak1xMXK11qdmmiqo1_500.gif

hahahahahaaaaa

great crowd! this game already feels more intense than any game these two have played in several years

https://twitter.com/BestFansStLouis/status/584869281214652418/photo/1

wooooooooooooooooow.

i hope this season is a classic. getting such good vibes (not just from the run in the first inning either, i promise)

all the nl central games feel important this year

def because 3 of its teams have the potential to be great and the brewers could be goodish sustainably and...there are also the reds, they do stuff...

will lester attempt to throw to 1B?

seriously weird he never threw to 1B in all of 2014, i mean how in the

would've really loved if he had and gotten kolten wong, would remind me of a certain other time kolten wong got thrown out at first

but alas

*koltentears*

wainwright has no right to complain about the strike zone at this point

but seriously, it is def just not a thing he does since 2011, seems like he would rather work himself out of jams

which did not really always work! but last year it was kind of a nonissue - until the wild card game.

two runs matted in already

ouch, jon lester coming up in the 8th position in the order, TLR style, with 2 outs and a runner on 3B.

joe maddon...is a genius

cool strike zone tonight

it's...not consistent to say the least

that Heyward trade is already looking good, unsurprisingly

Cubs already giving us gifs, how nice of them

yikes, cubs kind of looking bad news bears out there right now!

yadi has a tiny guy butt now

https://twitter.com/vivaelbirdos/status/697783749333934081

Several international sources believe the Cardinals are preparing to exceed their upcoming international bonus pool, joining the Padres, Braves and Nationals as teams going over on July 2.

excellent

one of the prospects at spring training in florida is named Daniel Poncedeleon

That guy is in camp purely because of his name.

Want to start the new thread? I'd do it but I'm awful at coming up with punny thread titles

does anyone here actually like the cardinals tho

Doesn't everyone love the cardinals??

just The Way!

very tempted to start Hacking Ass: the 2016 St. Louis Cardinals Thread

commit

very tempted to start Hacking Ass: the 2016 St. Louis Cardinals Thread

that would be understandable in pretty much any year from 1908-2015, but given the likelihood of a total beatdown in 2016, the etymology of the thread title might begin to make me freak out around late summer

no way a Cubbie fan starts the thread unless we can name yours :[

Haters gonna hate
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