OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Oh I love the Haines piece. The Ciaran one is full of the usual ignorant generalisations though.

Haines piece calls Noel Gallagher's slow songs bollards, I'm going to go for 'best'

not really sure this is "writing" exactly
http://www.buzzfeed.com/carlanka/reasons-why-you-should-be-following-jme-on-twitter

"The most logical expansion for UMG, WMG and Sony is to embrace online video stars from YouTube, Vine and Snapchat"

uh, sure big-picture cuepoint guy, maybe you should talk to karmin

whatever i know i have an Officially Chapped Ass after getting totally lowballed by that company to start a music collection, but jesus christ the intersection of edm idiocy and mba idiocy fueled by tech dollars is just... the worst thing

also i mean all of these 'online video stars' make their bones by covering popular songs... that are initially disseminated by umg, wmg, and sony. maybe this guy is just advocating for the snake-eating-its-tail process to be sped up?

or maybe he doesn't actually consume music and is instead lost in a thicket of spreadsheets and impressive-sounding numbers

what a great time to be alive

just in case you needed reminding how bad drowned in sound is

http://drownedinsound.com/releases/18698/reviews/4148809?ticker

Whoa! I didn't know Chilly had a new album out. Must investigate.

i don't know enough to say whether that review is right, did pique my interest

"What was once accepted and ignored is now the target of pieces of writing like this one."

http://www.popmatters.com/feature/191920-get-hard-and-get-angry/

I agree that that piece is a total failure when it comes to music writing

Attributing it to Ethan Cohen rather than Etan Cohen is never not funny though.

Like many of the Nintendo Generation (born between 1977 and 1982), I’m offended by everything.

lololol

wait is that my generation, i've never felt so accurately identified before. finally!!

wait i want to be in the nintendo generation, but i come from the year 1983. guess i have to be a millienial and be really selfish but also really important to the future but also good at adapting to new technologies instead

"With the George W. Bush presidency being bookended by Freddy Got Fingered and Role Models, both interesting examples of ‘00s shock value comedy, there was a furor in the air, an feeling that shit wasn’t right, and we were plunging further into doom. The Obama era is more about how to rectify such social ills."

as a nintendo generation spokesperson, we are letting you in karl malone

77-82 is a pretty tight turnaround for a whole generation

Mark Palermo co-wrote the 2012 theatrical teen horror sci-fi comedy Detention, distributed by Sony Pictures.

xpost fuck yeah! now i regret selling my bright blue NES bag last year.

http://galleryplus.ebayimg.com/ws/web/311124260128_4_0_1/500x500.jpg

"I wish to register my disdain at the disgust and outrage which has greeted this, er, admittedly disgusting and outrageous film"

well, you know the nintendo generation... offended by everything.

fucking mario

yeah, its pretty dumb to make a point about overreactions to art that's perceived as offensive in reaction to something that...looks like it might be genuinely offensive (i haven't seen it, probably won't, i think my assumption can be safely made)

sorta like fuckin patton oswalt yesterday!

i remember when the super nintendo came out it wasn't launched in the uk (and europe?) till about a year after it was out in the US and Japan, so some game heads would buy ones imported from Japan- the Japanese version was called the 'Super Famicom'. How 'bout that.

I remember when this thread was about shitty music writing.

nintendon't kill my vibe

i remember i was conflicted, misusing my threadfluence

http://whereistheprotestmusic.tumblr.com/

Terrible articles

That protest thing is hilarious

http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2015/04/10/carly-rae-jepsen-makes-heads-explode/

feat. bonus ilxor diss

that one is pretty bad all right! i don't think i've ever pictured stoned hipsters reading pitchfork. more like earnest high school kids.

lol @ "yoga columnist, admirer of trees" in his bio

who are these people who still think statements like that are big truth to power moments? aside from the otts and auks and austerlitzes, of course.

"Mark has been described a few ways -- as a Lenny Bruce character, or as a Generation X Hunter S. Thompson, or as a liberal redneck," Kershner said. "He has a following, but he's always close to the edge."

everyone gets older faster these days

http://www.sfgate.com/business/article/3-Staffers-Suspended-Over-SF-Gate-Column-2937413.php

got an couple hours?

All of those descriptions of Morford are too flattering, even liberal redneck.

Is it still 2004 in San Francisco?

fixie bike jokes is some real trenchant social commentary in 2015

what about microbrew zings tho

Nice to see he takes time out of his schedule of yoga therapy and admiring trees to engage in pointless culture-bashing rants. Nothing more enlightened than jokes about PBR.

aside from the otts and auks and austerlitzes

this one is actually the worst

pretty sure it's lifted from a Frank Barone column written for Everybody Loves Raymond, though

just about every sentence of that is completely moronic

“Bro! Did you read our Carly Rae bit? Can you believe us? We are so meta! I bet no one saw that coming. How hipster can you get, but to like the least hipster act there is in this modern world right now? Someone punch me in the face!

“Next up, we praise a Kardashian. Shut up! Who wants a PBR?”

yeah boy do they ever have the writer of that carly rae jepsen piece pegged, such an indie loving hipster

http://www.vox.com/2015/4/21/8441443/hozier-profile-interview

reading this actually hurt me; I am a broken man