OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

they forget they commissioned things. it's tragic

Hate to be cynical about it since I'm a huge fan, but he's got a "protest" album coming out in a month or two (which he mentions near the end). Pretty good number of comments, too.

anything > 0 = a pretty bad number of comments

I'm surprised that anyone cared enough to comment. The essay didn't say much, but I guess he hit enough soft targets (UKIP) to warrant a reaction.

i grew up on british protest music...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JctNVfE06l4

http://thetalkhouse.com/music/talks/luke-haines-the-auteurs-black-box-recorder-talks-noel-gallagher-and-the-scourge-of-dad-rock/

Not sure if this qualifies as worst or best:

But even after all the above, Noel comes across as a decent enough guy. He’d be OK in the pub. (Well, he probably wouldn’t be OK with me in the pub after this.) You’d trust him to look after your cat as well. (Although I wouldn’t trust him with my cat, not after this.) But it’s his reactionary fear of the extraordinary, and the clapped-out Cloughie act, that need questioning. These are ultra-conformist times we live in; the imagination is unwelcome, the maverick is unwelcome and the weirdos need not bother turning up. The music industry and the publishing industry are grasping at straws to survive. The middlebrow media have a stranglehold on culture, and art is, amazingly, still seen as “not for ordinary people.” Poverty abounds. No one wants to hear a rich man boasting, but when Noel speaks, people listen. As for the records, they sound like they’re getting harder and harder to make. Noel never seems like he’s had any fun making them. The slow turning of the cogs in his brain grinding to a halt is almost audible. So, as Noel has all the money in the world — as he is often so keen to tell us — maybe it’s time to give up.

Oh I love the Haines piece. The Ciaran one is full of the usual ignorant generalisations though.

Haines piece calls Noel Gallagher's slow songs bollards, I'm going to go for 'best'

not really sure this is "writing" exactly
http://www.buzzfeed.com/carlanka/reasons-why-you-should-be-following-jme-on-twitter

"The most logical expansion for UMG, WMG and Sony is to embrace online video stars from YouTube, Vine and Snapchat"

uh, sure big-picture cuepoint guy, maybe you should talk to karmin

whatever i know i have an Officially Chapped Ass after getting totally lowballed by that company to start a music collection, but jesus christ the intersection of edm idiocy and mba idiocy fueled by tech dollars is just... the worst thing

also i mean all of these 'online video stars' make their bones by covering popular songs... that are initially disseminated by umg, wmg, and sony. maybe this guy is just advocating for the snake-eating-its-tail process to be sped up?

or maybe he doesn't actually consume music and is instead lost in a thicket of spreadsheets and impressive-sounding numbers

what a great time to be alive

just in case you needed reminding how bad drowned in sound is

http://drownedinsound.com/releases/18698/reviews/4148809?ticker

Whoa! I didn't know Chilly had a new album out. Must investigate.

i don't know enough to say whether that review is right, did pique my interest

"What was once accepted and ignored is now the target of pieces of writing like this one."

http://www.popmatters.com/feature/191920-get-hard-and-get-angry/

I agree that that piece is a total failure when it comes to music writing

Attributing it to Ethan Cohen rather than Etan Cohen is never not funny though.

Like many of the Nintendo Generation (born between 1977 and 1982), I’m offended by everything.

lololol

wait is that my generation, i've never felt so accurately identified before. finally!!

wait i want to be in the nintendo generation, but i come from the year 1983. guess i have to be a millienial and be really selfish but also really important to the future but also good at adapting to new technologies instead

"With the George W. Bush presidency being bookended by Freddy Got Fingered and Role Models, both interesting examples of ‘00s shock value comedy, there was a furor in the air, an feeling that shit wasn’t right, and we were plunging further into doom. The Obama era is more about how to rectify such social ills."

as a nintendo generation spokesperson, we are letting you in karl malone

77-82 is a pretty tight turnaround for a whole generation

Mark Palermo co-wrote the 2012 theatrical teen horror sci-fi comedy Detention, distributed by Sony Pictures.

xpost fuck yeah! now i regret selling my bright blue NES bag last year.

http://galleryplus.ebayimg.com/ws/web/311124260128_4_0_1/500x500.jpg

"I wish to register my disdain at the disgust and outrage which has greeted this, er, admittedly disgusting and outrageous film"

well, you know the nintendo generation... offended by everything.

fucking mario

yeah, its pretty dumb to make a point about overreactions to art that's perceived as offensive in reaction to something that...looks like it might be genuinely offensive (i haven't seen it, probably won't, i think my assumption can be safely made)

sorta like fuckin patton oswalt yesterday!

i remember when the super nintendo came out it wasn't launched in the uk (and europe?) till about a year after it was out in the US and Japan, so some game heads would buy ones imported from Japan- the Japanese version was called the 'Super Famicom'. How 'bout that.

I remember when this thread was about shitty music writing.

nintendon't kill my vibe

i remember i was conflicted, misusing my threadfluence

http://whereistheprotestmusic.tumblr.com/

Terrible articles

That protest thing is hilarious

http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2015/04/10/carly-rae-jepsen-makes-heads-explode/

feat. bonus ilxor diss

that one is pretty bad all right! i don't think i've ever pictured stoned hipsters reading pitchfork. more like earnest high school kids.

lol @ "yoga columnist, admirer of trees" in his bio

who are these people who still think statements like that are big truth to power moments? aside from the otts and auks and austerlitzes, of course.

"Mark has been described a few ways -- as a Lenny Bruce character, or as a Generation X Hunter S. Thompson, or as a liberal redneck," Kershner said. "He has a following, but he's always close to the edge."

everyone gets older faster these days

http://www.sfgate.com/business/article/3-Staffers-Suspended-Over-SF-Gate-Column-2937413.php

got an couple hours?

All of those descriptions of Morford are too flattering, even liberal redneck.

Is it still 2004 in San Francisco?

fixie bike jokes is some real trenchant social commentary in 2015

what about microbrew zings tho

Nice to see he takes time out of his schedule of yoga therapy and admiring trees to engage in pointless culture-bashing rants. Nothing more enlightened than jokes about PBR.