In the event of Rapture all other teams will be Left Behind: the 2015 St. Louis Cardinals

Yay! I try to keep bullish on the long term mainly because of Mo and Dewitt. If Heyward has a solid year he'll probably be part of it. I wish there were some creative way to manage the innings load b/c you are right, envisioning 30 starts from either Martinez or Wacha seems nuts.

i was hoping it would be on mlb.tv, but i guess not. although maybe it'll still be on radio? i'm itching for some baseball.

y'know, you guys seem so nice - like the rational, reasonable cards fans - and then this shit happens http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/mlb/2015/03/04/st-louis-cardinals-adam-wainwright-jason-heyward/24397651/

http://deadspin.com/moron-usa-today-columnist-thinks-the-cardinals-poop-van-1689616561

lol xp

"Vanilla are our colored sprinkles.''

dammit, i should have waited a few more days to make this thread

both the column and deadspin reaction fit the boring narrative so nightengale wins a brand new poop van

true, it's not like drew magary isn't a pile of canned schtick himself - sub-taibbi piles of adjectives, quarter-smart-at-best profane witticisms, facile/transparent attempts to pretend to be above sports cliches while also steering into every possible skid of bullshit machismo - just another side of the same shitsmeared sportswriter coin

btw do you get decent mileage on a poop van? sounds sustainable tbh

@pgammo
Carlos Martinez FB, CB, great change, worked quickly like Buerhle..."Midseason great " said Marlin exec

can we change the name of the thread to "the cardinal poop van"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_vZsMLWYAAdYYx.jpg

wow, i don't remember seeing those before! What year is that from? '75?

'76 -- i think it was a bicentennial thing? pirates did it too, obviously, not sure who (if anyone) else

yikes.

i was thinking that analyses of stolen bases that focus just on successful attempts and exclude caught stealing are really misleading. the cardinals were near the bottom of the league in successful stolen attempts, so i was hoping that by looking at CS's and SB% they might come out a little better.

nope (sorted by SB%):

http://i.imgur.com/xGS4xvq.jpg

what is the break-even point on SB% where you're doing more harm than good by attempting to steal bases? 66% if I remember? If Matheny's steal sign would have been disabled last year entirely, it would have improved the team.

whooops, that was sorted by net stolen bases. here's the SB% sorted one:

http://i.imgur.com/pJJ28SE.jpg

(either way they come out looking bad)

shit. i just happened to tune in to the game against the marlins, just in time to watch tommy pham dive for a ball and get injured (for the millionth time). feel bad for him.

the 'extremely fragile' tag is often unjustly applied, i think, but tommy pham is extremely fragile. he dived, sure, but there didn't appear to be anything that twisted or hit the ground awkwardly.

:(

ugh, these uniforms

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAUQPI7WwAEIxqc.jpg

i read yesterday that Patrick's color was actually blue, too late to email Manfred.

nice overview of many notable names from the farm (and others that I've never heard of): http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/evaluating-the-prospects-st-louis-cardinals/

so there's no announcement from matheny or anything, but...carlos martinez isn't going to make the rotation, is he. sigh. prediction: garcia will start the season as 5th starter, with martinez in the bullpen as the setup lefty guy (a role they're lacking right now) and marco in AAA. eventually garcia will get injured (or someone else will). martinez won't be stretched out as a SP, so gonzalez will get the nod for SP. in spring training 2016 rumors will fly that maybe THIS year martinez gets a shot at the starting rotation. goddammit.

Well maybe it'll payoff when he's got less miles on his arm down the road. In happier news - Wacha spring 1.76 ERA 16k 1bb

Former Cardinals player punched at St. Louis County gas station after racial slur

Former Cardinals outfielder Curt Ford said Thursday he may move away from the St. Louis area in disgust after being punched in an allegedly unprovoked, race-related attack at a gas station.

"I'm going to let the authorities handle this situation, but I've had enough of St. Louis," Ford said in a phone interview Thursday. "You hear about this kind of stuff happening, and I always knew it existed because of my previous experience working here in St. Louis, but you try to keep away from it and there is just no way you can do that unless you stay inside like a hermit.

bourjos doubled today! now 4-for-33

martinez = fifth starter

gonzales to memphis

on the other hand, pete kozma has made the team

he's out of options.

we are all, sadly, out of options

at least this should the final year for kozma. i'm much more comfortable with his role on the team now, with peralta and wong comfortably in front of him. as long as you just focus on his decent defense and assume that every single one of his plate appearances will end up as a weak groundball to 2B, he's not as much of a let down.

carlos villanueva: swinger

Villanueva has never made more than 16 starts or logged fewer than 33 appearances. With the exception of one season he spent fully in the bullpen, he has also always made at least five starts. That puts him in some extremely rarified air.

When it comes to moving back-and-forth from bullpen to rotation, nobody swings like Carlos Villanueva.

Setting the parameters for what constitutes a swingman is a bit arbitrary, but Ben's initial framework seems solid - 16 or fewer starts and at least 33 appearances. That means we're talking about guys who made at least twice as many appearances in relief as starting. We'll also need some kind of floor to separate guys who were really just relievers who only made a couple of token starts. I'll set the minimum at five starts - the fewest Villanueva has made.

Under those conditions, Carlos Villanueva has qualified as a "swingman" in seven different seasons. No other pitcher since 1920 has met those conditions in more than five. (If you bump the minimum number of starts down to three, Villanueva is still the king, though a couple others come closer with six seasons.)

https://cdn2.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/uTI1KzogLSeYJn6OQYbbKPkG0b0=/0x1419:3264x3595/730x487/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/45626576/usa-today-7849024.0.jpg

Lindbergh w/ Wrath of Khan ref

http://grantland.com/the-triangle/2015-mlb-nl-central-preview-cardinals-pirates-cubs-brewers-reds/

the rotation is set:

wainwright
lynn
lackey
wacha
martinez

surprised to see wacha down at #4, considering that he has a good chance of outpitching wainwright this year (that may be overly optimistic, but not by much), but maybe it has to do with managing his IP count?

did the cards have to pay lackey real money or did he honor that injury clause & is only making the league minimum?

league minimum. there's been discussion of paying him more, but only if it's part of an extension deal, and lackey seems to be holding out for free agency.

well at least that means he'll try & pitch well if he still wants to play! regardless of where that might be.

it's dark times indeed where i sort of miss john lackey on the sox :/

i feel bad but i kind of dislike lackey just because of the FACE he makes as he waits for the catcher to give him a sign. it's just this really stupid, open-mouthed bleeeeehhhhh. lance lynn's dopey face is just as bad if not worse, but i guess i've had more time to get used to it.

my evaluations of starting pitchers uses a complex blend of advanced stats and facial analysis.

lol, yea he does look pretty hickish and redassed, which seems like it matches his persona

i mean personally he's a huge douche. see "lackey, john, marital relations, 2011." also see, "chicken and beer," and sadly i don't mean the excellent ludacris album

but maaaaaan he was pretty all right in 2013 and even 14

shoot, i knew about chicken & beer but not about the divorce thing. yikes.

this year i kinda want to take screen shots of every pitcher doing their stupid face as they look at the catcher between pitches and make one really long video montage

would watch

i can understand a pitcher being unhappy when someone behind him makes an error, but lackey's body language is like asshole performance art

Jenifer Langosch @LangoschMLB
#stlcards OF Tommy Pham headed to see Texas physician re: his left quad strain. Three weeks after sustaining injury, he's not feeling right.

:( feel so bad for this guy.

i know it's just spring training, but the cardinals came in dead last in runs scored (by a wide margin, too), and were near the very bottom in HRs, SLG, OPS, pretty much every offensive stat that wasn't weakly grounding out to 2B. they did lead the NL in SBs, but i'm trying to track down how many times they were caught stealing, because that must have set some sort of record.

ah, found it. they led MLB in caught stealing, and ended up with a 67.5% SB%

http://mlb.mlb.com/assets/images/3/0/0/81074300/cuts/Waino2_t0hmahpz_v01uw182.jpg

i don't think he has the correct number of stars there.

matheny on psychology and wainwright as the opening day starter:

"I don't know if it's a psychological advantage over the opposition, but I think it's a psychological advantage for our club to where that's the guy who is leading our pitching staff."

...definitely

that's why bartolo : is the mets' opening day starter

went ahead and made this in preparation for the season, sure it will come in handy

https://38.media.tumblr.com/e3c19beace710ea2b174ad13a297ff66/tumblr_nmak1xMXK11qdmmiqo1_500.gif

hahahahahaaaaa

can't wait until Grich hits 25 homers next year and we all reminisce about the time MM pinch hit Greg Garcia for him... in a playoff elimination game.

he started grichuk so he could get that great defense in CF from his broken arm, and then pinch hit with garcia. i've been suppressing all memories of the NLDS but that one does stick out. did anyone conduct the customary post-elimination "wtf were you thinking?" interview with Matheny this year?

St. Louis Cardinals ‏@Cardinals 18m18 minutes ago
Yadier Molina with have surgery on his thumb today. Will be without baseball activity for 8-12 weeks. Should be ready for Spring Training.

still couldn't bat him 8th without a thumb b/c *feelings*

i do remember Cosell intoning "wil-LIE muh-GEE."

alex reyes, 50-game suspension for w33d

mlb got no chill. bank some innings for him.

lance lynn had tommy john today, out for 2016

oof

#SIGNDAVIDPRICE

so that the cubs don't get him, also

i dont think he likes DA LORD enough

i was mostly joking (i'd rather they spend the money to get heyward) and the cardinals aren't too prone to panic signings. without lynn, the rotation would be something like:

wainwright
carlos martinez
jaime garcia
michael wacha
cooney/lyons for the first part of the year, then hopefully a bounceback marco gonzalez or even noted bob marley fan alex reyes later in the year

he's from tennessee; he'll get by xp

(but if they did end up getting price i have to admit i'd be pretty pumped, especially if they didn't sign him through his age-43 year or something)

speaking of bob marley fan alex reyes, apparently the remainder of the Arizona Fall League (10 games) counts towards his suspension, so at least it'll only be a 40 game suspension. still, awful timing, because the lynn thing would have made his path to the big leagues that much easier.

tbh i think reyes' suspension is almost a good thing. suspending someone from afl games is a joke; he'd have pitched like five more innings anyway. it keeps his innings total down for next year -- he's never thrown more than 109 in a season. so he skips the first six weeks, gets warmed up until after the super-two deadline, and is in good shape to help st. louis later in the season.

also it seems to have brought to light the difference in the way minor leaguers are treated for this stuff vs. big leaguers, which is probably good

i was mostly joking (i'd rather they spend the money to get heyward) and the cardinals aren't too prone to panic signings. without lynn, the rotation would be something like:

wainwright
carlos martinez
jaime garcia
michael wacha
cooney/lyons for the first part of the year, then hopefully a bounceback marco gonzalez or even noted bob marley fan alex reyes later in the year

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, November 10, 2015 4:42 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

damn no love for the lackeyman

i don't mind the ol' saltster but he's a free agent

if they could get him for 2 years he might be worth overpaying a little, but he'll likely get 3 years at 14 or 15 per year and that's a little too salty

rapture

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ca0pfqaUMAAYd_s.jpg

lol'd more at RS Nation tbh

https://twitter.com/vivaelbirdos/status/697783749333934081

Several international sources believe the Cardinals are preparing to exceed their upcoming international bonus pool, joining the Padres, Braves and Nationals as teams going over on July 2.

excellent

one of the prospects at spring training in florida is named Daniel Poncedeleon

That guy is in camp purely because of his name.

Want to start the new thread? I'd do it but I'm awful at coming up with punny thread titles

does anyone here actually like the cardinals tho

Doesn't everyone love the cardinals??

just The Way!

very tempted to start Hacking Ass: the 2016 St. Louis Cardinals Thread

commit

very tempted to start Hacking Ass: the 2016 St. Louis Cardinals Thread

that would be understandable in pretty much any year from 1908-2015, but given the likelihood of a total beatdown in 2016, the etymology of the thread title might begin to make me freak out around late summer

no way a Cubbie fan starts the thread unless we can name yours :[

Haters gonna hate
https://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xFLWq8XpFW84Rq/giphy.gif