Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

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Actually I'm PANTING. Shit, what about masturbating when you're PREGNANT? You keep on running away from the baby while trying to get yer rocks off.

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:14 (9 years ago) Permalink

First of all, even if the baby was conscious of what's happening and if was close enough to actually see what the person is doing (both big ifs), it would have no idea of what masturbation is, so all it would see is someone moving his/her hand. You all seem to be saying that it feels weird for someone to wank with a baby in his/her presence, which is probably true, but that's only because of the culture and time-dependent ideas that, a) masturbation is wrong, or at least kinda yucky, and b) children and sexuality should be in no contact with each other, even if the child in question would be in no way affected by what's happening.

Is it wrong for a couple to have sex while their baby is sleeping in the same room, knowing that the baby might wake up? Or if the baby isn't sleeping at all? Or for a couple to have sex in their bedroom, with their children sleeping in adjoining room, even though they might wake up and hear the noises? How are these things different from the original poster's question?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:27 (9 years ago) Permalink

First of all, even if the baby was conscious of what's happening and if was close enough to actually see what the person is doing (both big ifs), it would have no idea of what masturbation is, so all it would see is someone moving his/her hand.

You forgot that it could have sperm in his eye.

EW!

I'm trying to think of all the posters who recently became a parent.

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:30 (9 years ago) Permalink

How do kids get siblings, then? Not just by anniversaries to hotel rooms?

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:31 (9 years ago) Permalink

'someone just moving his/her hand'

up and down their COCK.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:32 (9 years ago) Permalink

When I was a kid I did hear my parents have sex on several occasions, and once I walked into their bedroom while they were doing it, but I don't think it ruined my life in any way. And I was old enough to be conscious of what they were doing, unlike a less than a year old baby.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:32 (9 years ago) Permalink

it would have no idea of what masturbation is, so all it would see is someone moving his/her hand.

with their genitals growing bigger and then stuff squirting out of it.

anyway i think the worst part is you knowing the baby being there and still doing it. i mean, that's like sick. it's almost as bad as shagging in a room where there's a huge photo of your parents somewhere in it.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:33 (9 years ago) Permalink

but I don't think it ruined my life in any way.

dude i think it has.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:33 (9 years ago) Permalink

'someone just moving his/her hand'
up and down their COCK.

And you think an infant of that age has some conception of what such movement means? I was at least ten before I learned it.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:34 (9 years ago) Permalink

I mean, people's reaction seems to be, "Eww, this is wrong!" without questioning themselves why they think it's wrong.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:35 (9 years ago) Permalink

ok, moving beyond vanilla stuff, would pissing/a2m/etc be ok in front of a child, 'because it woudln't understand'?

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:36 (9 years ago) Permalink

What's "A2M"? And what do you mean by pissing?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:39 (9 years ago) Permalink

i just had a thought about why or how it is wrong and i think i've pinned it down to mainly growing a boner and pulling it out and choking it out while you are in the room with a baby. i mean. it isn't whether the baby knows what you're doing, it's whether you know what you're doing.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:40 (9 years ago) Permalink

it's kind of disrespectful to say the least, unless you're saying infants don't deserve respect.

do you think it's alright to be whacking one off in an intensive care ward next to someone in a coma?

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:43 (9 years ago) Permalink

Yes, that what I meant by saying that the reaction people get is caused by cultural conditioning. In other times sexuality with children present, even children old enough to comprehend what's going on, was not such a taboo.

(x-post)

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:44 (9 years ago) Permalink

so sex with 12-year-old boys is ok, as per ancient greece, tuomas?

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:46 (9 years ago) Permalink

Can you be disrespectfl towards someone who doesn't know his moralities are being offended? Or towards someone who doesn't have any sort of morality yet?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:46 (9 years ago) Permalink

is mandatory female circumcision ok, because it's just a matter of culturation?

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:46 (9 years ago) Permalink

yes you can. you're showing the disrespect because you know the moralities. this is the reason how you can be disrepectful to dead people.

xpost.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:49 (9 years ago) Permalink

so sex with 12-year-old boys is ok, as per ancient greece, tuomas?

I said children present, not with children. The incest taboo exists in most cultures and times. The youngsters older Athenian men had sex with had reached puberty, I think, they were probably older than 12. Of course it sounds wrong from today's point of view, but it's kinda hard to judge such an ancient past with todaysä standards. It was part of a young man's life cycle back then, I doubt most of the were traumatized by it, since it was part of everyday life.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:50 (9 years ago) Permalink

is mandatory female circumcision ok, because it's just a matter of culturation?

No, and there's a difference. Female circumcision does concrete physical harm to women. Wanking before a baby most likely doesn't affect it all, not even mentally.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:52 (9 years ago) Permalink

but it isn't everyday life now that people jerk off next to you when you were a baby is it??!!?!

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:52 (9 years ago) Permalink

but sex with 12 year old boys did physical harms to the children's butts.

xpost

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:54 (9 years ago) Permalink

Tuomas in taking extreme moral relativist position shocka!


Just don't open up the can of worms of whether fat people are sexy.


(note: They're not)

Seems2Me, Monday, 5 December 2005 14:54 (9 years ago) Permalink

but it isn't everyday life now that people jerk off next to you when you were a baby is it??!!?!

No, but the baby isn't aware of things like a teenager is.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:54 (9 years ago) Permalink

yeah but they might FIND OUT when they grow up!

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:55 (9 years ago) Permalink

why does the occurence of 'concrete physical harm' change the essential moral question?

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:57 (9 years ago) Permalink

I'm not a moral relativist, for example I'm strongly against female circumcision. I don't necessarily think, however, that being aware of sexuality is harmful to children, and I definitely don't think sexuality is harmful to children who aren't aware of it.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:57 (9 years ago) Permalink

Tuomas, it's demonstrably the case that children who're exposed to adult sex acts process the information somehow - it doesn't just "go right past them": nothing "goes right past" children - and any clinician who's worked with children can tell you how the damage manifests itself: in acting out. Again, the threadstarter probably hasn't done any damage; and, again, it's probably not a good idea to jack off with babies in the room.

Jesus Christ, man, for sure society could stand to loosen up about sexuality a little, but exposing infants to adult sexuality is surely not the place to start.

xpost Tuomas you really, really ought to check out some of the available research about what infants are & aren't aware of

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:57 (9 years ago) Permalink

it's not "sexuality" Tuomas - it's ADULT sexuality! children have their own world, which take enough work to navigate, without the thorny world of adult things getting in the way

heh heh "things"

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 14:58 (9 years ago) Permalink

Okay, let me ask you all a question. How many of you were, as kids, aware of your parents having sex? And did you think that awareness has somehow hurt you? Because I was, and I certainly don't think it did any harm to me.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:00 (9 years ago) Permalink

I've never seen A2M referred to as A2M before, it's always been ATM. Which is funnier, cos then it means I get to giggle whenever anyone says "is there an ATM anywhere around here?" or "sorry, I'm a bit busy ATM".

JimD (JimD), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:00 (9 years ago) Permalink

I think most children are aware of adult sexuality as well.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:01 (9 years ago) Permalink

Sure they're aware, and I'm not suggesting a shield, but I am saying that there's a big difference between "mom and dad are doing something private and I have some ideas about it" and "dad has his cock out." "Aware" isn't the same as "exposed to."

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:03 (9 years ago) Permalink

e.g.
the year is 2018, just another day in the life for young Mika Kolehmainen, a 12 year old nephew of Tuomas, until curiousity took him to looking up "masturbating" and "baby" on google.

He finds a thread called "Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?", curious by the moral implications of this question, young Mika clicks. The words "ADULT CONTENTS" appeared on the screen, and the computer asked Mika whether he was old enough to view the contents, "well, in ancient greece i would have been buggered by a dude by my age, so i guess so!", as he clicks, he finds in horror that his uncle Tuomas thought in 2005 that masturbating next to babies are okay and any concepts of wrongness are purely based on social conditioning. Then he remembered his mother told him that, when he was young, uncle Tuomas used to babysit for him. Cold sweat started the roll down Mika's face.

He went to confront his uncle Tuomas.

Mika "hi uncle Tuomas"
Tuomas "yo! Mika wassup"
Mika "erm, you know you used to babysit me right when i were a baby?"
Tuomas "oooh yeah. good times"
Mika "did you ever get lonely on your own with me?"
Tuomas "mm sometimes"
Mika "do you like, ever grow a boner whilst babysitting me?"
Tuomas "er.. what an odd question!"
Mika "just answer me!"
Tuomas "well, sometimes. i was above social taboos and so i had boners whenever i damn well pleases"
Mika "what do you do when you get the boners"
tuomas "i jerk off of course!"
mika "arrrrrrrrrrrgh"

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:04 (9 years ago) Permalink

"dad has his cock out."

hahahahahaha!

JimD (JimD), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:04 (9 years ago) Permalink

And I still wonder if there's a difference in how people view masturbating in a room where there is a baby, and having sex in such a room. Because, even though masturbation is considered okay these days, there's still a special stigma attached to it that enhances the "yuck"-factor.

Sure they're aware, and I'm not suggesting a shield, but I am saying that there's a big difference between "mom and dad are doing something private and I have some ideas about it" and "dad has his cock out." "Aware" isn't the same as "exposed to."

Okay, what it boils down is, can an infant less than a year old thgink "dad has his cock out", and be somehow traumatized by it? If you think so, I guess there's no point in further debate.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:06 (9 years ago) Permalink

I think that the issue for the law - and it is against the law - is one of consent. By wanking in front of *anyone* you are involving them in a sexual act. If you do this without their consent, there's an issue.

Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:10 (9 years ago) Permalink

Back in ye olden days when large families lived in a single room, parents would pack their kids off to Sunday school.

Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:11 (9 years ago) Permalink

Of course I'm willing to admit that the cultural conditioning would stops most people (me included) doing it, but I just wanted to question the inherent immorality some people seem to think lies in such an act.

(x-post)

Mädchen, do you think that, for example, parent who have sex in their bedroom while their baby is in the crib in the same room should be put to trial?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:13 (9 years ago) Permalink

so the priests can get to jerk off in front of the kids.

xpost

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:13 (9 years ago) Permalink

I have to go now, you can go on telling wank jokes... ;)

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:14 (9 years ago) Permalink

tuomas, are *any* acts 'inherently' immoral? i would think not. i don't understand your line of reasoning here.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:14 (9 years ago) Permalink

this is so wrong.

Sailor Kitten (g-kit), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:15 (9 years ago) Permalink

POLL: where is tuomas off to?

ken c (ken c), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:15 (9 years ago) Permalink

(In that sentence, "inherently immoral" = something considred automatically immoral without taking into consideration the possible consequences [or he lack thereof].)

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:16 (9 years ago) Permalink

POLL: where is tuomas off to?

And to what?

(Tuomas: the infant doesn't have language, so it can't think "dad's playing with his boner." But he/she does know something's going on, and saves the information its its little brane. This theory can be taken to ridiculous ends of speculation - $c13n+0l0gy for example - but the core's true: infants are aware, and the things you see shape your opinion. It is not healthy to see your father masturbating at any age, unless you paid cash money for it and are allowed to film it, in which case it's cool.

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:22 (9 years ago) Permalink

("opinion" isn't the word I'm looking for there obviously, dunno what happened)

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:23 (9 years ago) Permalink

This is retarded.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:27 (9 years ago) Permalink

next up: "incest: is it ever justified?"

J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:28 (9 years ago) Permalink


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