village voice cover story: "white girls with big asses, man"

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HAHA

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:59 (nineteen years ago) link

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm inspired to record a song where I sing "White gurls got dat ass/All day I crave dat white gurl ass" in a deadpan vocal over slow, Fun Lovin' Criminals riffs, a gothic sounding organ and Cheiron beats. I'd be number one in Croatia.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

I am mad at you for trying to make the badonkadonk twee, stence.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

summer camp memories rock hard

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

dude, Perry, c'mon man.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

okay does this make it better?

R. KELLY WAS RIGHT/FRAMED!!!!!!!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Results 1 - 10 of about 39 for Sloane Crosley R. Kelly

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.donkeysanctuary.ca/Images/CHICLETlarge.jpg

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm going to change my entry to the "horniest ILXor" thread to NABISCO. Heavens man, keep it in your trousers!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually this is the only relevant result when you google "Sloane Crosley R. Kelly" (scroll down past the article for hijinx).

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

i don't see why anyone's getting mad at a mildly amusing fluff piece.

Well, I personally am getting really, really mad because the piece basically reads like what my "I Have A Big Ass" thread read like, except if I had gotten drunk before I wrote it. What the fucking hell. If I had known two years ago that the Voice wanted bullshit like this, I would have a whole shitton more money now than I actually do, instead of emoing out about my writer's block.

Seriously, how much do people think she got paid for this? Chuck Eddy around anywhere? He's got ins to find out. What the fucking hell.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh except when I talk about anyone's ass I don't act like KABOOM asses appeared out of nowhere, like the resurrection of Jesus or something.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:19 (nineteen years ago) link

M: It was a question! An innocent question!

A: What is a shitton? (It sounds like a tampon for yr butt.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:20 (nineteen years ago) link

3: I wish asses appeared out of nowhere like that.

(4: Horny that, Markelby.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

this girl is a publicist, maybe someone at the Voice owes her a favor.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Big asses be breakin' out like chicken pox.

― na (Nick A.), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link

also I am horny as can be but cannot get horny for anybody named Sloane, sorry.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha there should be a hyphen between shit and ton in that sentence, whoops. No wonder I don't have a job writing absolute bullshit about my own ass for the Village Voice. :(

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't wait until all these Johnny Come-Latelys who've jumped on the ass bandwagon go back to ogling Kate Moss and leave the badankadonks to the true booty connoisseurs.

xpost not even Mia Sara in Ferris Bueller??

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:23 (nineteen years ago) link

only when I think of her by her real name. Also, I don't think her butt was all that (though she was hella cute, yeah).

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:24 (nineteen years ago) link

OTM oops. im tired of people acting like they were always into asses when they were breastists until 2003.

can we have an i love asses board on ilx?

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

ALLISON MUNN

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't decide if I meant to do that or not.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm gonna convert to breastism just to stay avant-garde.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

what kind of half-man doesn't like breasts AND ass AND legs? good lord.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

true, Mia is 1000x hotter than Sloane.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

It's about priorities, Gear.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

who is an ass man here

also I had an ex-girlfriend once (WITH NO ASS WHAT WAS I THINKING?) who had a male boss named Sloane so you see I AM TRAUMATIZED by that name.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

i like both, but i tend to zoom in on ass first.

im going to covert to left-butt-cheek-ism, just to throw this new craze for previously uncreated body parts a curve.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Somewhere a weirdo internet lurker with one luscious left cheek and one scrawny hair-covered right one is rejoincing.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I feel ill.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

my god, thanks nabisco, I am going to have nightmares tonight.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

for sickness or health, Mandee, think about it!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

im think im going to be a right-cheekist now. i cant have it where people are only taking care of one cheek and are already aware that there are people singling cheeks out.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

rejoincing

Nabisco the Neologist.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:31 (nineteen years ago) link

You misspelled "pervert", Ned.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Why can't people be into elegant fingers or collar bones or foreheads or something Victorian like that?

I have nice ankles.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:32 (nineteen years ago) link

If it helps, Mandee, I have a thing for nice chins. Also really striking noses, but that's not uncommon, I don't think. Chins, chins are important.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (nineteen years ago) link

I had a big ass before big asses were cool! :-)

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (nineteen years ago) link

I have a happy weakness for shoulders and the back of the neck.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (nineteen years ago) link

i know people with ankle fetishes. i personally, have a hair fetish.

layna, holler!

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (nineteen years ago) link

The only thing I am particular about are freckly shoulders.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.somebizarre.com/Resources/loaf.jpeg

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (nineteen years ago) link

Mandee, we have enough time and energy to fetishize over any body part. (shoulder blades and necks are very nice) Well, external body parts. I don't know of any spleenists.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I think I have elegant fingers, and my feet are cool.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I hope no one finds gallbladders sexy as I do not have one.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

i generally love womens hair (generally not boyish haircuts though) and asses the most.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

NB: big-ass discussions need to start differentiating properly between "big" and "round." The article, for instance, uses "big" and "flat" as antonyms, despite the fact that there are plenty of asses that are both. The kind of big ass people get all excited about tends to be the kind that's got some front-to-back roundness to it.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:36 (nineteen years ago) link

hasn't anyone seen Mandee's eyes?? that's the stuff right there! I remember those pics

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:37 (nineteen years ago) link

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