Society is in the gutter

+1

I like the link between weirdly specific words & close observation of the surrounding world in ~bygone days~

I paid more attention to ice & snow this year than I have in a long time thanks in part to my choice of a William Vollman novel about Norse sea-exploration & its rich winter word-hoard

*choice of = as reading material for a space of weeks in December & January

now we have weirdly specific words about Tumblr

The past 60 years and the reign of Queen Elizabeth II has seen Britain go to hell in a hand basket, the rich are much richer and poor poorer, crime is higher and personal liberties and civil rights more restricted. The nation has become boarded up, dirty, polluted, and very regionalized North South , them and us, Scotland nearly voting to leave the UK and Wales and Cornwall and Ireland dissatisfied. The reign of Queen Elizabeth II will be recorded as the dark wanton times of decline in Britain`s history.

a mix between The Stone Roses and Primal Scream with the swagger of Oasis

Boo! Boo! Boo QE II, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo.

http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/after-39-years-fighting-boffins-toffs-and-cads-daily-mail-style-guide-writer-reveals-all-including?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2015-04-16&utm_source=Press+Gazette+-+Daily

"There was a conversation a while ago between an old-timer and a trainee who had not heard of Rudolf Valentino. 'Before my time, I'm afraid,' said the trainee breezily. 'Hitler was before mine but I've still heard of him,'"

clichés

tug of love, or even worse, love tug

clichés

‘egg’ or ‘eggs’ as a replacement prefix for ‘ex’, often in the context of Easter, such as ‘eggcellent’ or ‘eggstraordinary’. There is not one variation that has not been used thousands of times, and they are all very tedious

the flamboyant bestubbled Portuguese (Jose Mourinho)

foreign-bred rodent furballs (hamsters)

the titular sexual abstinent (Steve Carell’s character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin)

culinary under-achiever (sprouts again)

shifting follicle cover (John Travolta’s hair)

cutting-edge valise (a suitcase)

vociferous Antipodeans (rowdy Aussies)

this musical mammal of the marine world (a saxophone-playing walrus)

the luxury fizzy wine (champagne)

our cosmic sidekick (the moon)

culinary outlaw (a kebab)

the bendy yellow fruit (a banana)

the tasty bread-based snack (a sandwich)

the red leather orb (a cricket ball)

the little rectangular treasure (a rare stamp)

the befeathered visitant (a nightingale that strayed to Birkenhead)

the stringy decay fighter (dental floss)

the tentacled tipster (Paul the psychic octopus)

^^POLL

*puts hand on chest, sings national anthem*

live audience: Is there any other kind of audience? Rows of corpses? When a writer says: ‘Kylie performed in front of a live audience’, it should be: ‘Kylie performed live in front of an audience’. This holds good for recorded performances with an audience present.

what

the bendy yellow fruit (a banana)

This is the best one, but we all know exactly the context in which it was used.

it's important to maintain the levity of your story about a walrus who plays the saxophone

so much lol in that style guide

love how the implied addressee is a very stupid child

inelegant variation should be as knowingly laboured as possible to preserve the gaiety of the nation

the bendy yellow fruit (a banana)

This is the best one, but we all know exactly the context in which it was used.

nicky wire in a bendy yellow fruit suit?

Strong "...in the gutter" / Real England flavour to the comments on this Guardian piece:

http://www.theguardian.com/cities/2015/apr/29/manchester-trafford-park-world-first-industrial-estate-history-cities-50-buildings

Long grey rows of tenements

Playing marbles on the grates in the alleyways

The trainmen used to throw us food from the engine as they went past.

The park around the corner had a stuffed crocodile that we used to jump on and then run away scared.

Fogs so thick that we got lost going home from school despite it being just across the street.

The name of the local sweet shop was Coopers.

Esp. enjoy the contribution of Sperrin, always eager to jump in and correct people on the faulty detail of their memories of 1950s childhoods:

"there were no tenements" etc.

http://k-punk.org/abandon-hope-summer-is-coming/

beyond self-parody

It’s Ed Sheeran and Rudimental rather than Rufige Kru.

guess he slept on that Goldie remix of the real red Ed

supermarket check-out operatives replaced by crap robots… unexpected item in bagging area… every surface plastered with corporate graffiti and haranguing hashtags

Everything seen through a downer haze… “Mostly you self-medicate” … comfort eating and bitter drinking …. What’s your poison?

an ellipsis between every four or five words... no full sentences... ground control to major tom... mcdonalds... that go compare ad... #bringbackourgirls ... tracksuits... smaller chocolate bars

walk out of the house... "you can always go... downtown" - figure of speech... figure of eight... figure of fun... britain's got... talent put on an old vinyl - val doonigan... toilet still works... for now ... mcluhan ... microwave curry... please sir can i have some more

i actually hadn't even read this bit before i wrote those:

Time for one more, Nigel?

Time, gentlemen, please ….

There is no time … Time is on your side (yes it is) …

this is how it's done

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG_RvGqG9VI

also there's a new pre-new album out

Time out...time waits for no mandate...timestretch...what the time dred?...how does my dog smell the time? dreadful!

Just reading these in the 'Fitter, Happier' voice.

UKIP leaflets in a litter bin at Manningtree station, Essex, on Wednesday

At least in the pre-internet days when you were in youthful idiocy stage, on speed talking absolute nonsense or writing bad poetry there was no permanent record to come back and haunt you.

http://i.imgur.com/mlgq4gF.jpg

lol i was just thinking about this thread. some classic quotes imo.

McWilliams is the perfect nothing fuckwith to bookend the Celtic tiger.

He did alright for himself in its aftermath

yeah but I mean consider the validity of the measure

Society may be in the gutter but it used to be in the sewer

Anyway, we're missing the point. What are we to do with this nationwide infestation of Bebo clones and boy-racers??

everywhere i look a 9-yr old has an ipad now. i don't even have an ipad. what's wrong with this picture.

cyber children roam the streets, roided up on data

smothered in their data cocoon, they forget the use of speech and mindmeld with their robot brethren through the furious click-clacking of computer keys

this generation has long ago "swiped left" on morals and values

gleefully dismantling society "piece by piece"? there's an "app" for that

we "liked" things in my day too. we "liked" them. oh we "liked" them alright.

you used to have to type a number on your smartphone, now you just pull a nasty face at a pensioner and it'll speed dial your whole gang

i stuck my penis in the headphone jack of my smartphone the other day - not a policeman in sight. i did it again. nothing. i called them to tell them i'd done it - not their problem, not me guv.

i can't figure out how to snap a chat for the life of me. i got one the other day and nearly had a seizure. when i was a kid, we could chat without the wonders of visual editing technology.

I remember when a Yorkie could barely fit in your hand. 'Tis all downsizing and up-pricing these days....

Seriously though, smaller Yorkies are a fucking travesty

remember when lifesavers used to be hard?

My google search for "Bebo Clone" was dissappointing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoGTkOtSc18

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/woman-poo-bm-bargains-southport-9436282