God bless the goddamn Onion

i just lol'd hard at: Dancing 7-Year-Old Looks To Expand Fan Base From Parents To Parents' Friends
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/629256884495593472

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 11:48 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Holy shit:

New SeaWorld Show Just Elephant Drowning IN Large Tank Of Water With No Explanation

http://www.theonion.com/article/new-seaworld-show-just-elephant-drowning-large-tan-51139

― the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 21 August 2015 15:28 (eight years ago) link

That last line...

― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Friday, 21 August 2015 16:24 (eight years ago) link

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/634803513139286020

― usic ally (k3vin k.), Friday, 21 August 2015 19:17 (eight years ago) link

that's a new classic

― where the sterls have no name (s.clover), Friday, 21 August 2015 20:24 (eight years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/article/isis-operatives-destroy-hofner-bass-guitar-signed--51189?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

ILM will get a kick out of this.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 28 August 2015 18:59 (eight years ago) link

Ha, just came here to post that. Brilliant, though it's hard to pinpoint just how.

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 31 August 2015 19:13 (eight years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/article/nasa-deploys-congressional-rover-search-funding-51231?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Pic:1:Default

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 2 September 2015 19:56 (eight years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/article/new-subway-promotion-to-honor-subtember-11-33768?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Pic:NA:InFocus

*laughs nervously*

― usic ally (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 9 September 2015 18:27 (eight years ago) link

https://scontent-hkg3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/12009638_10104599970678693_4412498355279813165_n.jpg

― écorché (S-), Monday, 14 September 2015 08:37 (eight years ago) link

http://images1.browardpalmbeach.com/imager/via-twitter/u/original/6459080/marriott_911.jpg

― écorché (S-), Monday, 14 September 2015 08:38 (eight years ago) link

^ shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

― pplains, Monday, 14 September 2015 13:32 (eight years ago) link

these two are LOL

http://www.theonion.com/article/ethical-hunter-throws-duck-he-shot-back-sky-51355?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Pic:1:Default

http://www.theonion.com/graphic/trees-planted-poor-neighborhood-mature-just-time-g-51281

― my cheeriness amazes me (rip van wanko), Monday, 21 September 2015 20:35 (eight years ago) link

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

― silverfish, Friday, 2 October 2015 13:29 (eight years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/article/obama-follows-white-stallion-moonlit-rose-garden-51554

― Neil S, Friday, 16 October 2015 12:19 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

The best thing about the "No Way To Prevent This" article is that they seem to be re-posting it nearly verbatim, with just the locations changed, when a new mass shooting happens.

http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-36131

http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-prevent-says-only-nation-where-regularly-ha-51443

― Dan I., Monday, 2 November 2015 00:32 (eight years ago) link

Published on my birthday: http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/shit-i-was-supposed-have-learned-something-having--51778

― pplains, Thursday, 5 November 2015 01:34 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Onion-esque sites not run by the Onion are usually terrible, but I sometimes find The Hard Times to be pretty good:
http://thehardtimes.net/2015/11/19/west-oakland-punks-hold-vegan-bake-sale-end-gentrification/

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Saturday, 21 November 2015 04:41 (eight years ago) link

"Am i missing how a bake sale help ends gentrification?"

― koogs, Saturday, 21 November 2015 16:16 (eight years ago) link

The Hard Times has some great ones. A recent one I'm partial to is Punk Dad Prefers Son's Earlier Stuff.

― JRN, Saturday, 21 November 2015 18:06 (eight years ago) link

http://thehardtimes.net/2015/11/23/mans-tattoo-a-constant-reminder-of-time-of-time-he-stabbed-panther-in-face/

― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 24 November 2015 04:18 (eight years ago) link

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