another maniacal Armond White review, this time "Fahrenheit 9/11"

Its probably a credit to him that after all these years we might expect him to "shock us" on any level.

Never sure why he bothers with the picks that are so obvious as to be redundant. Don't know why it needs to be said that Journey to the West is better than Maleficent.

whether or not i'm shocked, i felt his phrasing deserved a poll

Best Succinct Film Pan From Armond White's 10th Annual Better-Than List

Korengal > Citizenfour

Sebastian Junger honors the risks of Afghanistan soldiers while Laura Poitras celebrates Edward Snowden’s anti-American paranoia.

300: Rise of an Empire > Interstellar

Noam Murro and Zach Snyder raised 3D pulp to a level of sensual, visceral astonishment but Christopher Nolan couldn’t get past nerdy, boring imitation-Kubrick space oddity.

Wrong Journey to the West...

Throughout 2014, movie culture, as we used to know it, collapsed. Old Masters Godard, Bertolucci, Resnais and Troell kept the faith yet went ignored.

Best not to open your annual screed by citing a film that has been lauded with awards as "ignored."

He's right about Lego Movie and Snowpiercer.

SNOWPIERCER knowingly cartoonish and funny though.

He seems to want to fuck Chris Pratt

http://www.out.com/armond-white/2015/6/10/jurassic-dreams-chris-pratt-haunts-fanboy-wet-dreams-spielbergs-dino

Heaven forbid.

i'm just sad this wasn't in the national review

He has a new piece in OZY. lol

This -- "he’s like a gainfully employed Matthew Rush" -- is pretty o_0 tho.

The Jurassic World script doesn’t allow Pratt the personal charm — the wink — that Harrison Ford brought off as Indy, hero of many adolescent boys’ dreams. Pratt’s eyes are gentle, yet his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids overwhelm this formulaic movie — and Bryce Dallas Howard’s shrill, vapid Park supervisor. She’s unappealing as Owen’s love interest. Maybe a lesbian critic could try justifying her cold acting but who can say what hetero guys who see Jurassic World put into their spank banks? I bet it’s Owen.

this paragraph sure takes a turn

i don't read a lot of out magazine but it's not really the place i'd expect an "i dunno, maybe a lesbian will dig it" aside

LOL, 'cause that's totally what lesbians are into, Armond. Demeaning, frigid female characters who learn the value of having children with hot dudes over the course of the movie.

C Pratt was much cuter when a bit fluffier.

Not my type in either form.

his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids
his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids

I'm sorry, I missed the part when the voluptuous trapazoid ate Newman

voluptuous trapazoids

Pretty impressive in the context of the word "velociraptors."

Or it would've been had his movie bothered to mention any dinosaurs at all.

his movie review

OUT magazine is generally aimed, like all "gay" mainstream pubs, at fairly rich white men who don't know (m)any lesbians and think 'centrist' Dems are tot awesome bcuz "marriage."

Maybe only 12-year-old boys are still into dinosaurs.

his voluptuous reviews

i would have been a little more impressed if he'd spelled trapezoid correctly

Attended the screening last night with a 29-year-old boy who was verrrrrry much still into dinosaurs.

though this did come up when googling http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trapazoid

Reading Armond reviews is like falling into a trapazoid.

the first two entries for "stout-thewed" are from armond, followed by a few from conan books and a few from the 19th century

so Armond is a dinosaur who writes reviews

i never thought anyone other than robert howard used the word "thewed"

trapawhat now? tight editorial shop over there at out, huh

anyway, oh, armond. i wonder who else could conceivably write for both out and NRO (i don't really)

there are still gay Republicans, and in the case of O-bots, close enough

Maybe only 12-year-old boys are still into dinosaurs.

haha morbs. this is a perfect example of how your elitist scorn just reveals your own small-mindedness (this is point that, because of same small-mindedness, you will or can never take to heart, alas). now, i couldn't care less about this film, but there's really no reason why anyone /wouldn't/ be interested in dinosaurs!

you're a really sad person, you know that?

also, girls like dinosaurs too.

obsessed vs interested

i'm not crazy about you, either

it would be a badge of pride, if i gave a fraction of a shit

a dinosaur shit.

jeez that Armond quote is some wacky misogynist shit

although frankly there's a certain pathos in observing your scorn for anyone who doesn't have the same limited habits of mind

xpost

yeah the title of this thread (the 1st half anyway) is of enduring relevance

actually my previous post applies to both morbs and armond, so i'm on topic despite myself

previous previous i mean

l-r Goldblum, amateurist

http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbjlo0Retv1qedl16o1_1280.png

l-r Morbius, everything in the entire world

l-r: armond, voluptuous trapazoids

l-r:Armond, what he thinks lesbians are into

l-r: Goldblum, people who think Armond can possibly be represented by Goldblum

I don't mind if you don't like my manners, I don't like them myself. They are pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings

You're not going to go around poking at this thread and threatening to leave it again, are you?

dinosaurs are awesome, what kind of miserable life-hating person doesn't like dinosaurs