Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

you know what really turns my piss purple? laser pointers. know what i'd like to do? i'd like to take my "laser car" and drive it over a "laser cliff"!!!

just my $0.02

a $0.02 worth a fortune

When a person making you a sandwich cuts it in half without asking first. I want to have to opt in to sandwich cutting, not opt out.

Sandwiches should have select-a-size perforations, ideally.

why would you want to attack a sandwich from the outside? it is too difficult!

Cut my sandwich! Into 4 triangles, plz

cut my sandwich into strips and fry them on a stick!

I hate people who slowly jaywalk in front of you and throw you this death glare, as if their glare was the only thing keeping you from running them over.

people who think the double yellow line is an island of impenetrable protection against cars are straight marinara.

i propose the death penalty for drivers who allow *multiple cars* into traffic when traffic ahead is already well and truly moving

DEATH TO DOGOODERS

yeah rmde@ ~~~RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS~~~ dorks who don't realize they're being assholes

See also, as talked about before, the dude who lets everybody on the train in front of him without realizing there are a bunch of people standing behind him who would really like to get on the fucking train, please.

I'm really tired of people taking pictures of art.

Me too. An accomplished photographer friend of mine now likes to take photos of ppl looking at art, and I had to endure this at both the Getty Center and MoMA the last few months.

btw very little of the anger itt is irrational, need better title.

I'm mad at all the memes about how PEOPLE ARE ON THEIR PHONES ALL THE TIME SMH WHEN ARE WE GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE OUR SHARED HUMANITY combined with YOUNG PPL THESE DAYS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, IN MY DAY WE MADE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE WE GOT OFF THE COUCH.

Before I had a smartphone, I kept a book with me 94/7 and took it out whenever I had down-time. I sure as hell didn't sit staring into space or at strangers' faces or at some fucking trees. I'd put my nose in a book, like a normal person who gets bored easily. If I didn't have a book I'd read a goddamned cereal box before I'd talk to the person next to me.

About THE YOUTH and their VIDEO GAMES, that's a whole other rant, I'm not sure I have it in me right now.

But basically all technology phobia oh noes can take a hike together.

With you.

I hate people who slowly jaywalk in front of you and throw you this death glare, as if their glare was the only thing keeping you from running them over.

Ha, I make a point of not jaywalking, but I'll totally lock eyes with motorists who try to creep through an intersection while I'm in the crosswalk. Like, you're either going to acknowledge my living, breathing presence or you're going to watch the life go out of my eyes as you plow into me and my ghost is subsequently going to haunt you forever. Whatever it takes to pull them back down to earth and remember that they're not actually going to get to the gym that thirty seconds faster when they're answering a cop's questions about the mangled pedestrian splayed across their hood.

Also, I've always said politeness has no place in vehicular traffic but a frustratingly-large number of drivers just refuse to follow my perfectly sound edict.

I lock eyes and hold my arm out commanding all drivers to stop. Death stare.

Laurel, the best response to that is
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--hu1dhvtJ--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/197o1okyuiv27jpg.jpg

Beeps will sit in front of the laptop all evening, and I'll think hoo boy, I'm a lousy parent.

But then I'll see what she's doing: Googling things like "black and white cat" and using the images as models for her drawing. Last night, she searched around and found the perfect cat to fit each member of our family and drew that.

Or she watches those goddamm beenie boo videos over and over until finally, she gets Mom and her cellphone rounded up and makes her own goddamm beenie boo video.

These kids aren't as passive as they look.

It's "television rots your brains" all over again. never mind that there's news, documentaries, educational programmes, incredible dramas, hilarious comedies etc etc on television. It ROTS YOUR BRAINS AND YOU GET SQUARE EYES. I imagine a lot of the reason people used to say this is because 90% of the television adults choose to watch is moronic.

It is PARTICULARLY annoying coming from a person who is liable to just turn on the tube and watch Mike and Molly or w/e. At least I'm reading thinkpieces about catcalling!

I don't even want to be superior about programming or w/e. I'm just tired of bullshit sermonizing fb memes with pics of ppl on their devices instead of talking to each other, like they're missing their opportunity to bring about world peace or something.

The more I hang out w my bf, the more of a break from human interaction I need, okay? Life is over-stimulating enough! Stop needing things from me! My phone--blissfully--needs nothing.

but it wants everything

in orbit, i take it you're familiar with why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

I am, yes.

It's less a safety thing, the death glare, and more this snotty arrogance. Like, fuck you and your right of way, I am standing in your path and walking slowly.

We have zebra crossings in the UK, where motorists HAVE to stop for any crossing pedestrian. Woe betide the sexist asshole white-van driver who catcalls me, then reaches the zebra crossing I am using, because I have been known to stand in the middle of the zebra crossing, blocking the way of such drivers as long as I can be bothered to stand there delaying them.

I'm mad at all the memes about how PEOPLE ARE ON THEIR PHONES ALL THE TIME SMH WHEN ARE WE GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE OUR SHARED HUMANITY combined with YOUNG PPL THESE DAYS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, IN MY DAY WE MADE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE WE GOT OFF THE COUCH.

Before I had a smartphone, I kept a book with me 94/7 and took it out whenever I had down-time. I sure as hell didn't sit staring into space or at strangers' faces or at some fucking trees. I'd put my nose in a book, like a normal person who gets bored easily

Yes, Christ yes OTM

Sometimes when I am in the train using my smartphone along with everybody else, I hear a little voice in my head shaming us for being device addicts or zombies or whatever, but really its no better or worse than the people reading the POS free daily or listening to something on headphones or sitting thinking about whatever.

IIRC, people (Andy Rooney?) we're all worked up about headphones being alienating weren't they?

I love this piece
http://thehairpin.com/2014/02/i-will-not-soak-it-in

I took out my phone and started to text my friend.
...
Now, truly, this was so much more fun than forcing myself to look at the view from the bridge. I was like, fuck the view from the bridge. When I was making myself look at it, I was bored. I know what it looks like, that water and sky are blue, that islands are green, that sailboats are white. There’s no new information there. But this conversation had never taken place before, not exactly like this, and we would never be interested in these same things at the same time and be laughing at them the same way. I'm not saying another person wouldn't have liked the view more than the conversation, but I didn't need to be that person.

It only bothers me when people use that stuff at times when they clearly shouldn't be, e.g. the human Roombas walking with their face parallel to the sidewalk during rush hour and forcing people to navigate around them.

And by 'human Roombas', I mean that they mindlessly move in a particular direction until they run into something/someone. And that they suck.

not going to rail against phone addicts, will rail against all the app developers that overtly design their apps around addiction mechanics

fuck a candy crush

That I can't think of an easy way around a lengthy process of elimination when it comes to what may be a faulty memory bar. Ram in my computer. The thing will turn on to the point where I normally log in but then bluescreen. The code that's up at that point may be read as corrupt memory.
But it takes several minutes to get there. It also looks like it needs symmetrical amounts of RAM to start working so how do I work through 4 bar/sticks to work out which is corrupt?
Plus I'm having to think through this with a head still spinning from flu which has stuck around for the last month. & now 2 loads of antibiotics. Otherwise I'd've looked at this a while back.

Huh I broadly agree that you don't have to "soak it in" but lol at "human Roombas". it pisses me off trying to second-guess the movements of people who can't even be bothered to look up and see where the other people they might be about to walk into are

also I reserve the right to chuckle inwardly when I see a table of people who've all met up for lunch but stare at their phones all meal instead of talking to each other, but y'know for all I know they're housemates/classmates who see each other all day every day and don't really need that extra hour of conversation, plus sometimes I go to the pub and read or do a crossword instead of talking to anyone which I'm sure someone finds hilarious or rude so w/e, none of my business beyond that faint amusement

when I go to my parents' house they spend basically the whole evening from 5pm onwards in front of the TV "watching" basically whatever comes on ("watching" because my dad falls asleep and snores loudly and my mum usually reads a book or a magazine) and yet when I get my phone out because there is NOTHING ELSE HAPPENING it is me that's being rude. ???

Lately it bugs me to see people taking selfies when there's someone right there to take their picture.

hey Laurel, i didn't have to KNOCK PEOPLE OUT OF THE WAY trying to get to the subway stairs at night when they were READING BOOKS because books didn't have GLOWING SCREENS THAT THEY COULD READ IN THE DARK!!!

if youre just talking about what to do on the train, just bubble away, tho.

> That I can't think of an easy way around a lengthy process of elimination when it comes to what may be a faulty memory bar Ram in my computer.

label them A, B, C and D

TEST 1: put A and B in. does it pass or fail?

TEST 2: put A and C in. does it pass or fail?

TEST1  TEST2  BAD
-----  -----  ---
PASS   PASS   D
PASS   FAIL   C
FAIL   PASS   B
FAIL   FAIL   A

difficulty comes when it's more than one bad stick.

books didn't have GLOWING SCREENS THAT THEY COULD READ IN THE DARK!!!

This is a major failing of books, it's true. Sometimes I read while walking between rooms in my house and it's always annoying when I have to pause because a light in one room is turned off.

Thanks koogs will see if that works.
Just found that I have Ubuntu discs and there is a memory check option there that is looking like it might work.

I was thinking about "human Roombas" on Friday when I was walking on the sidewalk and crossing the street while reading. But it was on paper. But it was a printout of a web page

hey Laurel, i didn't have to KNOCK PEOPLE OUT OF THE WAY trying to get to the subway stairs at night when they were READING BOOKS because books didn't have GLOWING SCREENS THAT THEY COULD READ IN THE DARK!!!

Wait a minute. I'm not Laurel and I'm in Chicago but here we have long had electric or gas lights around our subway or elevated stairs so our people could read and more readily see a visiting New Yorker set on knocking them over.

When they write 'Never From Concentrate' on cartons of juice instead of 'Not From Concentrate'. It comes across so snobbish, as though the person buying it would be abhorred by the very mention of concentrated fruit juice. Never mind that concentrate has a smaller carbon footprint, it's important your juice is exactly the way you want.

I will say, much as I find these 'look up at life's rich tapestry, you droid' stuff condescending and pretty simple-minded, I will make an exception for those moments when really you should be making conversation / not just checking Facebook or whatever. I have friends over to my house quite often and sometimes I wonder if some of them only come round to use my wifi connection.

I just think it's good manners to know when and when not to use your phone: public transport, fine; but at the dinner table when other people are there? I dunno, I'm not into that.

What if the people are really really boring?