God bless the goddamn Onion

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My kid loves Frozen so much

― u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 03:48 (nine years ago) link

i just hung out with a five year old who was totally into star wars and his folks have only let him see the original three

― Steve 'n' Seagulls and Flock of Van Dammes (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 04:07 (nine years ago) link

my bro and i were never interested in disney movies growing up. feel okay about it

― global tetrahedron, Tuesday, 28 October 2014 04:15 (nine years ago) link

Almost said Star Wars while ago as a compromise, but thats Disney now too.

― pplains, Tuesday, 28 October 2014 04:31 (nine years ago) link

Thanks so much, Doctor Casino!!

― NYC if you didn't know was taken over by skeleton hipsters in the past (stevie), Tuesday, 28 October 2014 13:47 (nine years ago) link

no prob!

― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 28 October 2014 13:52 (nine years ago) link

sensational

http://www.theonion.com/articles/pathetic-washedup-rock-star-on-fifth-decade-of-doi,37299/

― piscesx, Wednesday, 29 October 2014 13:47 (nine years ago) link

I've been forgetting to check the Onion because of Clickhole, but
http://www.theonion.com/articles/white-house-receives-letter-addressed-to-gerald-fo,37334/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 31 October 2014 15:02 (nine years ago) link

The Onion Verified account
‏@TheOnion
In Focus: Keira Knightley Answers Fan Letter Way Too Quickly http://onion.com/1u6CwJB

Reply to @TheOnion
s.s. lark ‏@louiedadawg 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion how about she is very polite!

Home Bunch ‏@HomeBunch 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion Cry me a river! What a big problem he got in his hands! Gee... "5 minutes of fame", much?

sawseegirl ‏@sawseegirl 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion hhmmm--pretty strange

Hungry Fillbe ‏@HungryFillbe 2h
@TheOnion I'm sure there's some irony or something in there, but I liked reading it just at face value :)

graham dempsey ‏@ArtistSurf3r 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion If this is accurate and if true man should have kept this to himself . Shows no respect & is just tacky . GJ pfft .

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 7 November 2014 18:37 (nine years ago) link

Ira Glass Exhausted From Doing Every Single Voice On ‘This American Life’

― I'm In The Mood To Munch! (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 November 2014 18:42 (nine years ago) link

(My girlfriend sent that to me in light of my asking, almost every time I overhear NPR, "why is that guy doing an Ira Glass impersonation?". Although, TBF, there's also a show with some dude who does a mean Keillor.)

― I'm In The Mood To Munch! (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 November 2014 18:46 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

lolling hard

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-tentatively-takes-shot-at-badmouthing-girlfrie,37443/

― piscesx, Monday, 24 November 2014 02:39 (nine years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/heavy-police-presence-in-ferguson-to-ensure-reside,37528/

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 00:46 (nine years ago) link

Also this one: http://www.theonion.com/articles/ferguson-pool-supply-store-overestimating-how-badl,37525/

― nickn, Tuesday, 25 November 2014 01:34 (nine years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cia-admits-role-in-1985-coup-to-oust-david-lee-rot,37570/

― goole, Tuesday, 2 December 2014 19:59 (nine years ago) link

“The last thing we wanted was to have another ‘Panama’ on our hands,” he added.

― you say tomato/i say imago (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 20:01 (nine years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/overworked-prosecutor-thinking-of-taking-police-br,37597

― mookieproof, Thursday, 4 December 2014 19:31 (nine years ago) link

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/543150444919660544

― goole, Thursday, 11 December 2014 22:32 (nine years ago) link

perfect

― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 12 December 2014 12:00 (nine years ago) link

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/28/28147/original/700.jpg?2073

I think this is one that really benefits from the implied backstory thing discussed above, imagining kelly being a churlish dick about having to make conversation with people

― soref, Sunday, 14 December 2014 12:34 (nine years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-dont-see-race-i-only-see-grayishbrown-vaguely-hu,37667/

― Doctor Casino, Friday, 19 December 2014 14:18 (nine years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/temple-university-receives-anonymous-donation-to-b,37500/

― joygoat, Sunday, 28 December 2014 03:59 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

as narrow-audience onion knockoffs go, the hard times is pretty good

http://thehardtimes.net/2015/01/05/iggy-azalea-clarifies-she-only-listens-to-early-skrewdriver/

― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Saturday, 17 January 2015 19:08 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dubai-unveils-plans-for-worlds-largest-human-right,37979/

― Keith Moom (Neil S), Thursday, 12 February 2015 16:27 (nine years ago) link