My kitty is dying :(

thanks. i really believe you're right on all that (especially when i see nearby shelters with rooms of cages of pits just like her that people have discarded) but it still feels foolishly like i'm dealing with the needs of a child rather than a dog and that i'm being immoral by not paying and giving everything i have just to extend her life a little bit. I used to shake my head at people who went into debt over petcare but i certainly am getting my comeuppance on that front now. and yeah, getting a dog is a prelude to misery with many good years between; I get that. but she's my first dog and the first pet i ever had that felt like we had real communication and understanding and an emotional bond and i guess i'm a lot more foolishly sentimental than i thought.

Your dog is a cool dog, and I am sad to hear she is ill.

Thanks TR. this is really eating at me something fierce.

i am so sorry, forks. someone i know just lost her dog to leukemia; chemo was suggested but her mother who had been through that herself was adamant they should not put their dog through it, said the dog would feel dreadful and not know why. i suppose anecdotes from people is the only way to gauge what chemo would be like for a dog since they are so stoic and secretive about their suffering. if the quantity of life is not likely to be long either way then i think i would probably choose quality. but i also have a dog i love dearly and can't truly say what i would do and my heart goes out to you.

so sad and I feel so awfully for you. I recall reading a piece by an animal behaviorist that made what I thought was a good point: humans are willing to choose (sometimes) to undergo painful treatments because they can understand that there may be a benefit after the pain; there is no evidence that animals are able to reason like this, so for them the pain of treatment is not experienced as something that has a potential payoff. They only experience the discomfort/pain/suffering of treatment in the moment, with no expectations for the future to offset that pain.

It made sense to me. You will do what makes sense for you and your pup. Hugs to you both.

thanks to both of you.

here's the current situation: my ex (who is handling this like a superstar) looked into the possibility of enrolling the pup in a local medical trial that would waive the costs of treatment for the right to document her symptoms and recovery. The chemo is predominantly in pill form and the side effects are, we're being told, slight and less likely to provoke real concerns or problems in a younger dog. it's not a cure but it is a possibility to put this in remission and give her another year. both the ex and i are in agreement that we don't want her to be put through a scenario that would cause her pain or anguish but we are open and willing to have her put under for a biopsy and, if necessary, a time or two for medication. She's having some blood tests done now; biopsy is tomorrow and then we'll know more on Tuesday or Wednesday. That's when they'll know if she's a good candidate for chemo or if we should just let her pass and they should be able to tell us more about the process of the chemo and likely side effects then.

I'm a little frightened to go down this road... the finality of acceptance at least means that I'm not going to be on this road in March. But I also want to give her every chance at continuing to live a happy life as long as she can. So that's the watchword.

based on all the reading I've done (admittedly online and not with much knowledge in the field), chemo for animals is way lower dosage and not as comprehensive or damaging... mostly for the reasons you mention: a dog wouldn't know how to cope. The down side of the lesser side effects is that the chance of total remission is incredibly low. Chemo is only prolonging the animal's life, not saving it except in very rare cases.
here's a brief that seems indicative of what I've read and been told so far:

Most dogs will tolerate their chemotherapy well and have minimal side effects. Serious side effects are only seen in 5-10% of the patients treated. These include nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite, diarrhea, extreme tiredness or infection. Hair loss or slow hair growth may also occur in certain instances. Adriamycin can cause damage to the heart muscle if given multiple times, though most dogs do not receive enough of this drug to be a concern. Cytoxan can cause irritation to the bladder wall in a small percentage of dogs. If this occurs, you will see changes in urination (blood in the urine, straining to urinate, frequent urination).

I'm gonna keep begging for feedback and thoughts here btw; other pet owners experiences and arguments are mightily appreciated as I trip down this dark road.

There is nothing foolish about loving an animal and being upset when they're ill or in pain. Nothing at all.

first day of doggie chemo. she seems to be handling it well so far. The steroids are causing her to pee the floor but not much else in terms of side effects.

I took her out on a three mile walk a few days ago and she is looking happy and curious and not at all in pain or particularly diminished... maybe a bit less spunky and energetic than usual

full diagnosis is aggressive stage three lymphoma. the pact that my ex and i have taken is to stop if the dog tells us she can't handle the treatment but she's already getting a bit calmer at the doctors now

chemo is pills in giant meatballs, which she is gulping with glee. to qualify for the study, she needs to do antibody treatment twice a week for the next five weeks, then once a week for the next two months. the antibodies are hoped to give her greater immune system benefits if i understand the literature correctly. the plan is to give her tranquilizers before each antibody treatment, as it requires an IV line in and the dog can't move during the treatment. that'll also hopefully save the madness of getting a muzzle on her. procedure is about thirty minutes per session. it's a LOT of work and my ex is doing all of it and she's really being a superhero about this treatment. ultimate out of pocket costs for parking and gas and EZ pass etc are gonna be about a grand, which is about six grand less than we feared.

Best case scenario: two months of intensive vet work and then she can be healthy for another year before this comes back.

That sounds like what my shepherd mix had, we forked over a couple thou to have some tumors removed and it was worth it, he lived longer than the doctor said he would.

Good luck to you and your pooch!

Appreciate it; hope we have the same luck!

that all sounds promising, forks, and the meatballs add a cheerful note to the proceedings. i hope she fares very well, she sounds like a lovely dog.

So Banjo the dog is in full (if temporary) remission and is in excellent shape at the moment. I took her to cancer treatment while her mom was away for the holidays and that was pretty horrible as the dog knows full well she's gonna be held down. They give her increasing levels of tranquilizers to keep her under wraps but she freaks out once the muzzle is on. Recovery starts as soon as she walks out of the vet's door though and the doctors there are very very nice and gentle. So she's got two a week of that for the next three weeks. The tumors have receded drastically and she has a lot more energy. I spent three days with her around the house, napping and taking long walks in prospect park. it's the best holiday gift i coulda asked for.

Good to hear!

That's really good news - 2015 is gonna be way better.

That is beautiful. How wonderful for Banjo! I have a tear in my eye.

She had a good run. Ex took her into the vet and they say she's got liquid built up around her lungs and that it can be drained but is likely just going to come back. They're discussing putting her down now and I'm being told I need to come out to Jersey to see her as she might not be here when i get back. It was a gift to have her a bit longer.

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Big hugs to you.

I'm sorry forks.

sorry to hear that, forks. I hope she was able to enjoy life up until this recent setback — it's a credit to your care for her that she was able to survive for so long after such a dire prognosis.

Pope Francis said doggies can go to heaven, now. ...
Maybe kitties can, too ?

thanks guys. i'm having a hard time with this right now.

sending you my best wishes, forks.

i am dreading this myself rn. very sorry, man

Sorry to hear this, forks. Be as emo as you wanna be.

<3 forks

just spent three hours with the dog with my ex and my current girlfriend and there was a lot of crying and goodwill. i took her for our last walk together, did a lot of hugs. she's still just fine to the eye but her breathing is labored and it's going to get worse soon.
she's gonna put her down over the weekend and do it at the house among friends. i feel fairly wrecked.
good luck with this mookie.

Oh no.

So sorry, forks.