ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

It's Lucie so I shouldn't be surprised but I am still astounded that down SP, faced with a nervous Begu serve that barely crawled over the net at about 10mph, Lucie shanked a return that is yet to land

anyway, YEC groups.

White Group

1. Serena Williams
4. Simona Halep
5. Eugenie Bouchard
7. Ana Ivanovic

Red Group

2. Maria Sharapova
3. Petra Kvitova
6. Agnieszka Radwanska
8. Caroline Wozniacki

goddamn, I was hoping for another Bouchard/Kvitova life-giving match-up.

With A-Rad in danger of leaving without winning a match again and no doubt another agonising loss for Petra to Ma$ha, this is not a good time to be alive for me :(

GOD DAMN I MISS LI NA ALREADY

http://www.wtafinals.com/di/library/WTA_Championships/3d/2d/wta-finals-elite-eight_kz8rjzijpq9r1g3qirt4xj8vt.jpg?t=594634289

WTA finals photo! Overall standard of outfit is slightly up, and Serena and Woz look the best. Radwanska and Halep must be here to play because they certainly didn't come well-dressed. Oh dear.

THE RUFFLES OH GOD MY EYES

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B0Oa9MXCMAAJj2Q.jpg:large

Oh god, this Williams/Ivanovic match is so, so, so dire.

Bouchard struggles so much when she tries to take the ball early and mistimes and just ends up looping it back at 10mph

I know this is the banged-up group so expectations should have been low, but, I'm just not going to bother with any of the other matches in this group if they're going to be like this.

Halep is playing better than I expected her to!

Bouchard is gonna get Petra-fied by Serena and maybe even VIP if she plays like that against them. Only Simona sloppiness prevented that from being a double breadstick

God, I don't cheer on Woz much, but.. KAM THE FUCK AN

Lol Wozniacki's wonky forehands saving a breakpoint, gaining one, and then taking it.

Sharapova just hit a slice BH winner and a pig just flew past my window

Then lol she decided that she had touch and tried to hit a drop shot. That was funny. Really, this set could have been 6-1 to either of them with a little difference.

Woz's forehand has just completely collapsed. She's doing a good job at getting the first strike in, but she cannot ever put the point away because of her lol-forehand.

Wozniacki is playing really badly and isn't even defending effectively, so Sharapova decided to giftwrap that game there anyway

Peak WTA tie-break. Of course, ending with a DF.

God I hope Petra is in some form, this group is hers.

Terrible set finally ends thanks to Sharapova's ninth DF.

Ma$ha is still beating Petra 6-4 in the third as usual.

And yeah, that set went from being OK to horrifying so gradually I barely noticed.

Oh dear, Sharapova shot lands way out, linesperson fucks up, Woz has no challenges.

That is why you don't piss away all your challenges out of desperation Karolina

This set is possibly even worse than the first... but the drama. Lights going on unpredictably, Woz arguing pathetically with Asderaki, the double faults, Queen of Moonballs failing to get the ball over the net half the time, peak comedy.

No way did Woz mean to hit that FH like that.

PEAK WALLNIACKI

Fuck though, Kvitova was already supposed to be like 6-1 4-0 up by now.

FH slice from Sharapova, is her last name Niculescu?

Sharapova grinds out three tough points to go 3-0 up, then loses the next three in about 15 seconds (one a DF obv)

FUCK YOU LADIES I HAVE TO BE UP FOR WORK AND YOU ARE DENYING ME PETRA TIME

All for these two killing themselves with a 3hr match if it benefits Petra/Aga

Wozniacki slaying Ma$ha at a Slam and the YEC :)

Sharapova: 43 winners, 76 UEs
Wozniacki: 14 winners, 35 UEs

Sharapova hit more DFs (15) than Wozniacki hit winners

https://twitter.com/serenawilliams/status/524577003396022273

:D

Halep 4-0 up over Serena in 12 mins :o

Eighth time in her career that Serena's been bagelled :o

Some of the sounds coming out of Serena...

tho i'm more concerned about the loopy groundstrokes and poor serving

Serena finally wins a game thanks to Halep FH errors. Serena has improved in this set to the extent that she can keep the ball in court during rallies, but the serving, oof. 7 DFs so far

"Peaking" at the YEC when everyone else is banged up or braindead, just call her Sim Clijsters

That (excellent) point had Turning Point written all over it

Such an important hold for Halep, that, and I liked the way she did it. Serena's not missing on her groundies any more, so she needed big serves and aggressive play

this is exciting

Serena's current strategy seems to be to win this by defending...

Halep 6-0 5-1. Lots of tight games in this set but Halep's upped her level in all of them.

simona should really win a slam next year

Glad Halep could close that out. If that had been 10 years ago and it had been, I don't know, say, someone like Hantuchova...

60 62. One of the most one-sided defeats of Serena's career, if not THE most.

An entire career history of Serena receiving bagels:

Q1 Indian Wells 1997, l. Alexia Dechaume-Balleret 46 06
3R Roland Garros 1999, l. Mary Joe Fernandez 36 61 06
SF Dubai 2005, l. Jelena Jankovic 06 34 ret.
F Miami 2007, d. Justine Henin 06 75 63
1R Zurich 2007, l. Patty Schnyder 06 03 ret.
RR Doha YEC 2008, l. Venus Williams 75 16 06
QF Madrid 2013, d. Anabel Medina Garrigues 63 06 75
RR Singapore YEC 2014, l. Simona Halep 06 26

So, in two of those she retired, two of those she won anyway, one was when she was a foetus and the other two full losses went to three. This is the first time Serena has been bagelled and lost in straight sets since the second match of her career.