God bless the goddamn Onion

lol that's great

http://www.theonion.com/articles/family-unsure-what-to-do-with-dead-hipsters-posses,929/

I might be overthinking but I love the Kelly cartoons that don't seem to spring from political opinion but instead some event in Kelly's personal life, like you could piece together an implied backstory: http://o.onionstatic.com/images/27/27478/original/700.jpg?2112

no that's def part of the appeal

yeah I think there are also cartoons that make indirect reference to a failed marriage or soemthing

Love that too, I'm sure I've said this before but it makes them a more pitch-perfect sendup of, for example, Mallard Fillmore dedicating itself to the creator's dissatisfaction at the cancellation of Veronica Mars. And just general regular-newspaper-columnist stuff, "regular readers will know I have little patience for," miscellaneous name-drops of family members, etc.

the kelly view on women is painfully note-perfect and my favorite element of the strip

^all of this otm

kelly def the richest and best drawn character they have

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-dad-just-wants-to-watch-one-7hour-block-of-te,37082/

they really need to do a father's day card with this one on the front

may 5 1999

Brutality-Desensitization Process Nearly Complete

http://www.theonion.com/articles/brutalitydesensitization-process-nearly-complete,734/

Pretty good forecasting by The Onion.

A good favotie onion article brings such joy forever

I remembered this article today and it's so wonderful

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fiscally-im-a-rightwing-nutjob-but-on-social-issue,20486/

"Marxism should be taught in schools. But there should be no public schools. And everyone should be required by law to participate in women's empowerment seminars. But the heavily armed stormtroopers enforcing this law should be independent contractors."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-crispy-snack-cracker-to-ease-crushing-pain-of,1021/

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Thursday, November 7, 2013 12:17 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

posted above, my favorite onion article ever and I think possibly the first I ever read, or the first that really grabbed me

http://www.theonion.com/articles/lifelong-dream-no-match-for-first-brush-with-adver,37186/?fb_action_ids=10152313606332261&fb_action_types=og.shares

Does anyone have a link to the Onion story about the guy who raises his daughter with cultural reference points that mean she can't communicate with her peers?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cool-dad-raising-daughter-on-media-that-will-put-h,26132/

once met a guy who swore he'd never let his future children watch disney movies and that he was gonna raise them on kurosawa instead

I'll never let my future children exist

Disney movies are kinda fucked

I have nothing against mainstream kids' media as a rule but disney movies have a weird disturbed streak that runs through most of them.

*makes fun of your progeny*

So we have to watch either Disney or Kurosawa?

Ozu is for poseurs

My kid loves Frozen so much

i just hung out with a five year old who was totally into star wars and his folks have only let him see the original three

my bro and i were never interested in disney movies growing up. feel okay about it

Almost said Star Wars while ago as a compromise, but thats Disney now too.

Thanks so much, Doctor Casino!!

no prob!

sensational

http://www.theonion.com/articles/pathetic-washedup-rock-star-on-fifth-decade-of-doi,37299/

I've been forgetting to check the Onion because of Clickhole, but
http://www.theonion.com/articles/white-house-receives-letter-addressed-to-gerald-fo,37334/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

The Onion Verified account
‏@TheOnion
In Focus: Keira Knightley Answers Fan Letter Way Too Quickly http://onion.com/1u6CwJB

Reply to @TheOnion
s.s. lark ‏@louiedadawg 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion how about she is very polite!

Home Bunch ‏@HomeBunch 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion Cry me a river! What a big problem he got in his hands! Gee... "5 minutes of fame", much?

sawseegirl ‏@sawseegirl 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion hhmmm--pretty strange

Hungry Fillbe ‏@HungryFillbe 2h
@TheOnion I'm sure there's some irony or something in there, but I liked reading it just at face value :)

graham dempsey ‏@ArtistSurf3r 2h2 hours ago
@TheOnion If this is accurate and if true man should have kept this to himself . Shows no respect & is just tacky . GJ pfft .

Ira Glass Exhausted From Doing Every Single Voice On ‘This American Life’

(My girlfriend sent that to me in light of my asking, almost every time I overhear NPR, "why is that guy doing an Ira Glass impersonation?". Although, TBF, there's also a show with some dude who does a mean Keillor.)

lolling hard

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-tentatively-takes-shot-at-badmouthing-girlfrie,37443/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/heavy-police-presence-in-ferguson-to-ensure-reside,37528/

Also this one: http://www.theonion.com/articles/ferguson-pool-supply-store-overestimating-how-badl,37525/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cia-admits-role-in-1985-coup-to-oust-david-lee-rot,37570/

“The last thing we wanted was to have another ‘Panama’ on our hands,” he added.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/overworked-prosecutor-thinking-of-taking-police-br,37597

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/543150444919660544

perfect

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/28/28147/original/700.jpg?2073

I think this is one that really benefits from the implied backstory thing discussed above, imagining kelly being a churlish dick about having to make conversation with people

http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-dont-see-race-i-only-see-grayishbrown-vaguely-hu,37667/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/temple-university-receives-anonymous-donation-to-b,37500/

as narrow-audience onion knockoffs go, the hard times is pretty good

http://thehardtimes.net/2015/01/05/iggy-azalea-clarifies-she-only-listens-to-early-skrewdriver/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dubai-unveils-plans-for-worlds-largest-human-right,37979/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/government-official-who-makes-perfectly-valid-well,20499/

Ikea CEO Wants New Desk On His Desk By End Of Day

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_XLxpxWcAIyAPp.png