people that YELP are scumbags

(small amount of drivel is forming)

Just an FYI.....The girl who puts the toppings on doesn't understand the word "extra". I ask for extra onions EVERY time and she NEVER does it. Hopefully the Sub Nazi will replace her soon. :-)

- Christopher W.

like u-boat?

sub-nazi at best

Say Prochnow?

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsL/10103-27.gif

The cute girl at work told me she's a Yelp Elite. What the

If this review were just about the food, it would be five stars all the way. But I think it's important to also discuss the dining experience, which really fell short, hence my three star review. First of all, the space feels like a hotel lobby. I guess it's a reflection of L'Etoile's old menu - boring and safe. It's perfectly nice, but it's bland and lacks character.

Second were the other diners and the servers. I've always known that L'Etoile is a special occasion restaurant. At $500/meal for two, which is what our total bill was with tax and tip, the average Madison diner can't afford to eat at L'Etoile more than once or twice a year. So I shouldn't have been surprised that the other diners there the night we were were mostly special occasion diners. However, what did surprise me was the total lack of dining sophistication. These diners were clearly not true foodies, and it was clear that this night out was their one big fancy meal of the year. If that had been all, then good for them. But the problem was that the servers seemed to dumb down the food and wine descriptions for the entire restaurant to the lowest common denominator. It felt like amateur hour to me. I'm also not sure if L'Etoile will be able to sustain the new menu concept. As you would expect, we were there for about two hours because it takes time to get through seven courses. When we ordered the seven courses with pairings, our server seemed pleasantly surprised. That struck me as odd, but over the course of our meal it became clear that we were the only table that did go for the full tasting menu. Not only that, but two tables of diners came in, were seated, looked at the menu, and then left without ordering.

So again, I was disappointed in L'Etoile. I know that there are diners in Madison who can appreciate the concept because I eat with them at Forequarter and Papavero, and mingle with them at SloPig. But for some reason, L'Etoile isn't getting them in the door. Maybe they need to reexamine their brand. In the meantime, if I want a Tory Miller dining experience, I'll be at Graze where the food is also great, and the dining experience is better.

Same reviewer also encountered a non-foodie at another local eating establishment

"In fact, I was shocked that Eno Vino had 4.5 stars on Yelp, but then I listened to the other diners around us and I'm pretty sure that their palattes weren't exactly sophisticated. Case in point, the woman behind me asked the waiter if the pork belly was really intestines. When he explained what pork belly was, she seemed incredibly impressed. In fact, she even said, "Fancy!" in a completely non-sarcastic way. So maybe Eno Vino has an overly inflated rating on Yelp because its diners think the food is "fancy" and don't know how well-prepared "fancy" food like pork belly should actually taste?"

I mean, I dunno, maybe Yelp would actually be better if people just reviewed the other customers instead of the restaurant itself.

i have no idea how brian eno's pork belly would taste tbh

Eno Vino. Is that Brian's urine.

palattes

tbh self-proclaimed foodies on yelp is an snl sketch that writes itself why isn't lorne on this

just five minutes of clueless shitlords eating food and talking about it confidently i'd watch just for that

Havent Portlandia tackled that kinda thing? Seems like they would (ive only seen a few eps but it certainly touched on that wank)

Vegan, locavore, food truck, and brunch dining all addressed by Portlandia but not high-end foodieism that I can recall

Here come the warm jets again.

In my fantasy this story actually ends with a talking pig coming up behind her and saying "You know nothing of my belly"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/Fat_bastard.jpeg

"How you got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing."

SloPig is a Celebration of Heritage Pigs and The People Who Surround The Movement.

It's a pig cult.

I came here with my belove poet lover for one drink as I desired something different than my usual Cosmopolitan, Sangria, wine, Sex on the Beach, Martini, etc., which I'm assuming most young bar tenders are not knowledgeable in cocktail drinks. However, no worries... I knew exactly the standard response "What's that?" which this free-spirited Canto Chigga given a copy of Charles Schumann's "American Bar" for the receipe of a Ladies Sidecar 1984 to the bar tender. I made the female bar tender happy as I let her keep a copy of the page from Charles Schumann's "American Bar" for future patron requests. The result of the drink was a loud encore to the ending of a open-mic poetry performers. N.B. Three days later on a Saturday morning, my poet husband divorced me in a private message via Facebook with the standard constructive abandonment: "you're a great girl, but not for me." This dude whose doubles my age in the double digit years lacks tact as he is NOT man enough in respect to ethics and professionalism to say this directly to my face? One Ladies Sidecar for my first taste and I was in love with it becoming an addiction whereas, the hope for my ex-poet lover has eradicated to oblivion. Oooh... I am now in the mood for "Between the Sheets" to wash away the numerous rejections on a Friday night.

what tha?

woooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

she has 3,308 more reviews

poll

Is canto short for Cantonese there or is she just really into poetry

weird

Is canto short for Cantonese there or is she just really into poetry

― xelab hate good times cmon (wins), Saturday, September 13, 2014 3:54 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

makes sense given what I sort of have to assume "Chigga" is supposed to mean

"My fiery hunger pangs was withholding me down that I did not take a photo. "

A Brooklyn, New York based catalog company that sells unusual wine tools and home decorum furnishings that serve practical uses which are witty novelties. In my continual mission to eradicate junk mail I am adamant to remove my name and address from their mailing list, the service representative is dismissive and callous with her tone. "What is your name and email?" I started to spell out letter by letter very slowly using NATO alphabet when suddenly this representative abruptly interjected with a rude callous: "don't do it that way! Why can't you just tell me the email and your name!!" Whoa. Such a dismissive callous response. She immediately hang up the phone like she was fleeing for her life from a deathly plague. Is this how a business properly treat customers??

I only spell use NATO phonetic alphabet for the B, M, and N in my last name since those are the hardest to get over the phone, esp b/c people hear B for V all the time

"home decorum".

all the letters sound like 'tango', right? bango, mango, vango, etc

django rango bingo-bango

"Equus is a drama play that focuses on a boy with severe mental health problems with a violent past that leads to destruction and nudity with sexual acts. Scanning the audience I've notice mostly were women who only attend this play (with no true interest in theater nor appreciation in performing arts) primary to see Daniel Radcliffe go nude. With a male friend, we were engross with the story line of a young adult boy who works on a farm tending horses. This play is entirely fictional and comprises of appalling scenes which are very distributing and yes, the boy undergoes intense psychiatric treatment. Actors smoke on stage, yes, both Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths smoke."

I cannot stop, here is her review of the United States Postal Service:

"Postal clerks appear robotic and generally disgruntled. I arrived walking through the ropes in hopes to be second in line to wait fifteen agonizing minutes to be served. Suddenly a woman out of nowhere blurted out (not standing properly in line between the ropes) coarsely stated "I'm next!" as she purposely wanted that clerk to serve her specifically in Spanish. Ergo, I had to go back to the start waiting for another fifteen minutes with only three clerks on duty. Standing there I felt very dizzy carrying a 5 lb. box that I nearly fainted onto the ground as it was hot and the air was not circulating sufficiently. I had to return a item purchased online from Forever 21 due to sizing issue.
USPS: "How fast do you want it to get there?"
Me: What are the options? What is the difference between the speed?
USPS: "HOW FAST DO YOU WANT IT TO GET THERE???!!!? DO YOU WANT IT TO GET THERE NEXT WEEK???!!!" in a very abrasive and coarsely tone
Me: Next week is fine.
USPS: "Do you want it insured?"
Me: How much can I insure it?
USPS: "WHAT IS THE ITEM WORTH?" in a very vulgar tone
Me: About $18.00, no I decline the insurance.

Whoa, such abrasive tonal attitude!! A booklet of Harry Potter stamps was on the counter... Accio Harry Potter stamps!! I'm a proud Philatelic and also a huge Harry Potter fan which, of course, I purchased the Harry Potter First Class Forever stamps."

Accio Ergo

is this person speaking Latin or something?!?

did you guys find mari55a's yelp reviews?

10PM Friday, September 5, 2014
Queens, New York

Excessive bleeding in dark brown blood color. Severe pelvic pain. Ushered by cab to emergency room. Signed in, waiting to be seen by Triage Nurse.

11:45PM Friday
Queens, New York

Waiting for an eternity to be seen by Jamaica Hospital's Triage Nurse. Emergency Room extremely too noisy with children running amok, chatty patients with their family/friends and loud clicking on cell phones.

12:30AM Saturday morning (next day)
Queens, New York

Questioned by Triage Nurse who is extremely distracted and unfocused by surroundings. Triage nurse took my blood pressure, EKG reading, body temperature, inquired my height and weight. The woman cannot uphold a serious discussion with a patient for a mere solid five minutes. Triage nurses in the Emergency Room are all engrossed to care for patients and appears short hand, thereby, utterly disgruntled with their workload they fend off unpleasant negative attitude to severely ill patients who require immediate medical attention. Waiting to be examined and questioned is the longest ordeal when you are in dire pain. I explained my physical state of being and the level of intense pain, which this Triage Nurse dismiss me without inputting my symptoms and explanations in their computerized patient log for a proper diagnosis. Subsequently then, I registered with Jamaica Hospital with name, address, D.O.B., complete their blue legal consent forms, external appeal blue consent forms, and insurance details at a registration window. (O Dummy care system put into actual usage here, which Jamaica Hospital thankfully, do not deny). Continued to spew heavy flow blood clots and destroyed my undergarment. Aija!!! I am in severe pelvic pain. Waiting room of emergency room still noisy with children running amok, chatty patients with their family/friends and loud clicking on cell phones continue throughout the night. Requested for two feminine hygiene pads as I continue to spew heavy flow. Color of blood is now normal, bright red. The security is minimal for this NYC operated hospital especially during the wee hours of the night.

2:30AM Saturday morning (next day)
Queens, New York

Moved to Gynecology Department, waited, waited, and waited for an eternity to be seen by Gynecologist. No immediate action taken by Jamaica Hospital.

3:30AM Saturday morning (next day)
Queens, New York

Dumped urine into a cup. Very bloody.

4:20AM Saturday morning (next day)
Queens, New York

Gynecologist performed pelvic exam with speculum while excessive blood continue to flow with huge blood clots. Withdraw blood in two vials to insure iron, calcium, potassium count levels are not low.

5:30AM Saturday morning (next day)
Queens, New York

No result from blood tests from lab. No result from urine test. My family member cannot stand sitting and waiting in the main emergency room waiting area any longer. She urgently requested answers to calm her nerves because she was not holding up well. Other patients and their families/friends in the main emergency waiting room also complained about the waiting time and the lack thereof medical help. This is the so-called "great American healthcare system" from the most advanced country in the world with the most available resources!! Pain cannot be ignored as it is serious business and proper medical treatment is required.

6:05AM Saturday, Sept. 6, 2014
Queens, New York

Discharged from Jamaica Hospital with a vague diagnosis of "abnormal bleeding" with written explanation in lay men language. I received a written testament to see a Gynecologist ASAP. A recommendation is given with address/phone number affiliated within Jamaica Hospital, an outpatient women's health clinic. No further action taken.
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she reminds me of the Malcolm In The Middle episode with the pompous smalltown critic who badmouths the hotel Frances works in, gets punched out by Frances and then badmouths the hospital he subsequently visits

drums in the deep. we cannot hold the gates. discharge now clotted, panties ruined. AI!

I hope she is ok. Pelvic pain is no joke :(

http://i.imgur.com/rdlJAAk.png

Excellent use of the yelp review.

place sounds cool, would hang there tbh

yeah how is that not a 5-star review?

Think if they had gotten him an ice cream cone too it would have been 5 stars