worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

BRUTHA’S BADASS
CAES-UH SALAD

Honestly kind of surprised there isn't a dish called "Hot Garbage."

his Vegas restaurant is hot garbage

Details!!!

oh damn there is a mayor of flavortown, and he has a burger named after him. is guy the self proclaimed mayor? or does he just promote tourism?

my story of eating at Guy Fieri's Vegas restaurant:

I flew into town to meet up with a college friend who was throwing an extended weekend birthday party in honor of his 40th birthday. There were few scheduled activities and nothing specific on Friday night, which was when most ppl were coming in, so that folks could explore whatever parts of Vegas appealed the most to them. I mentioned that I was fine with going with the flow but that I really wanted to do drinks and appetizers at Fieri's trainwreck restaurant. Of course, these are MY friends, so eyes light up and it immediately becomes AN EVENT that we are literally waiting for people to fly in for so that we can torture as many ppl as possible.

All of the mixed drinks are available in scorpion-bowl size; if you order one, you get a free t-shirt. I ordered some drink that I don't remember the name of but had an impressively disgusting array of mismatched booze in it and "BBQ bitters". What we ended up with was a giant pina colada.

We ordered the truffle fries, expecting to die from truffle overload. They were actually really, really good! In fact, they were the only good thing about the evening and even there, it was a good thing we were sharing them among 5 people because if one person had tried to eat them, vomiting would have occurred.

I ordered the Won-Tacos. These were tuna sashimi in a crispy wonton wrapper shaped like a taco shell. They were disconcertingly sweet. I ate half of them because I was starving.

Another person ordered the carnitas tacos, took one bite, and declared that they were possibly the worst thing he'd ever tasted.

The birthday boy ordered a hamburger with macaroni and cheese on it. It was absurd to look at and apparently tasted like cardboard.

Some other food was ordered and it was also bad.

At the end of the meal, the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

The really disappointing thing was, aside from the carnitas, nothing was OMG TOTAL TRAINWRECK bad. Only the truffle fries were any good, but everything else was wholly unremarkable, mediocre-to-bad food that had the OVER THE TOP! thing as the only things that made it distinctive from any other below-average meal you've eaten at a bad chain restaurant. Also, the fucking t-shirt is in black and white and WAY too tasteful to be associated with Guy Fieri. Remind me to post pictures of it; the tried-but-ended-up-boring nature of it perfectly encapsulates the food I tasted.

Another Vegas success story.

the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

cruel lolz

yeah that must be a tough job

Are Guy's places really worse than Chilis or Applebees or TGIF? I haven't eaten at any of them for decades, bar a night in a Mexican airport where we dined at a Chilis for the wi-fi access, but these place all seem to suffer more from an abundance of mediocrity (and sodium) than from utter inedibility. I'm considering heading with friends to Benihana, for example, but I really don't expect much better than Guy's House of Horrors.

Anyway, Fieri's motto should be "The Flair Is In The Food!" That one's on me, Guy.

The most disturbing thing about the BRUTHA'S BADASS CAES-UH SALAD is that it is served in a single "Mega-Crouton".

this sounds like Cheesecake Factory makes better food.

so much beauty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOQEWZzz3L4

http://i.imgur.com/qM8BQmD.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/LynZTRt.jpg

RIP Johnny Garlic's

"this lease coming to an end no longer fits the profile of what we’re looking for."

Great sentence.

Guy Fieri with normal hair:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BrJUlSBCEAE1TdR.jpg

somehow much worse

damn, haley joel has NOT aged well

between two ferns

either he sells chintzy furniture or he sings in a piano bar

omg my dad is guy fieri

hair color looks faker than normal somehow

a sobering reminder that guy fieri is forty-six years old

but he has the arteries of a man twice his age

Fried onion hellhound on his tail

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/08/how_one_man_destroyed_the_food_network_guy_fieri_has_made_culinary_tv_into_a_viewers_hell/

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

― Mr. Que, Friday, April 2, 2010 8:45 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

man Joey Fatone is a celebrity chef

Living without cable means I all too often find myself watching Joey on "My Family Recipe Rocks."

Let me tell you how many of the family recipes rock: zero.

hahaha wait, what

first Coolio, then Kelis, now Joey Fatone

should I be on the lookout for "Meals by Martika" in 2015

surely the show would be called Martika's Kitchen??

boom

"Pot Roast...Thy WILL be done."

that salon article is not really why I dislike Guy Fieri, also misses the point that the other half of cable television food programming is now contest-style stuff, which is where Fieri got his start, iirc

Fieri bellowing about food is part of the end game, the rest is sub-Iron Chef stuff like The Taste (on network tv!) and Chopped, a Food network show I was unhealthily addicted to which seems to have an extremely low budget

I received Guy on Fire for Christmas. Can't wait to cook for friends.

i feel that each poll entry here deserves a matching penis

Lol @ guy fieri sad stock photo
http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2015/01/23/guy-fieris-proposed-santa-rosa-winery-gets-totally-rejected/

Fieri, however, did not attend the hearing himself. Instead, he was playing with Guy Fieri dolls

this whole thing is amazingly funny

Is it bad that I misread the URL and was hoping the story was about how he proposed to someone at a winery and got totally rejected

Fuck, I was really looking forward to Cap'n Guy's Wasabi and Donkey Sauce Chipotle Cream of Cabernet :/

Artisinal sierra mist

Lol @ guy fieri sad stock photo

I guess I can't say I've never seen them in the same room together anymore

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B83KnoFCQAAOlxK.jpg

put away the donkey sauce before the donkey sauce puts you away

Courtroom sketch of Fieri at the trial of the guy who stole his Lamborghini is the best

http://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/BKtXIa3pmg0JVhyAcx8TlX-fgCo=/89x0:910x616/1200x900/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/38862268/Fieri-Lamborghini-Testimony.0.jpg

(kid got a life sentence too)
http://www.eater.com/2014/1/24/6292173/teen-behind-guy-fieri-lambo-heist-sentenced-to-life

I feel like the murder attempt is the most important part of that case

Fieri looks like Judd Nelson in that sketch. Also, I kinda want to make that my Twitter avatar.

I could murder an Off-Da-Hook Original Smash Burger right now.