people that YELP are scumbags

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/b/ for all time. rather read the demented msg posts of ppl who google for anime roboporn than about dbags eating

°° × Þ°))·ΞЊ (Lamp), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

yelp reviews of the day are AMAZING

----

I wanted to go to Grace during DineLA, despite the absence of a vegetarian prix fixe option. The woman on the phone assured me that the chef would accommodate my needs, so I was excited to try whatever he'd be whipping up for me. I mean, come on, that shit kinda made me feel special already.

For my appetizer, I had the roasted beet salad with grilled radicchio, arugula, goat cheese, pistachios, and onion marmalade, which was wonderful. The beets were sweet and delicate, and the onion marmalade and pistachios gave the salad an interesting and unique flavor. It's probably the second best beet salad I've ever had (after the one at the Little Door).

My second course was the grilled herbed tofu with confit tomatoes, balsamic eggplant, and preserved lemon spinach. I wasn't that impressed with the tofu and thought it could've been seasoned a bit more. The inside of the tofu tasted like it came straight out of the plastic tub. I did enjoy the vegetables though--especially the balsamic eggplant.

The best part of the meal, Sarah Beth and I agreed, was the sticky toffee pudding with bruleed bananas, toffee sauce, and hazelnut gelato. SWEET FUCKING JESUS was that shit amazing. It was so incredibly rich and dense! Now if only I could find a sugar daddy like that. (Huh? What do you mean Yelp is not a dating site?)

The service was also great and the atmosphere was inviting. I just hope they start offering more vegetarian dishes. Even if they don't, I can just order the sticky toffee pudding for my appetizer and two for my main course. Gimme gimme gimme.

and how (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:49 (5 years ago) Permalink

service was awesome, and the wings and sliders were amazing. they have this sauce that came with the sliders that is about as addictive as crack. the recipe is a secret so hopefully they bottle that and sell it.. at swap meets.. using a dude with a headset. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. don't quote me on that.. it's still in development.

point: go here and try it.. everything was great and your night comes with a free head ramming into a door frame compliments of simon and soju.

and how (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:53 (5 years ago) Permalink

they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery. they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery.they could call it "ruby table's crack sauce," and then use some exploitative imagery.

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:54 (5 years ago) Permalink

"Hi, I know you're a steak joint, but will you make me a special vegetarian meal?? I POST TO YELP KTHX."

Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2009 20:54 (5 years ago) Permalink

The best part of the meal, Sarah Beth and I agreed x °°

°° × Þ°))·ΞЊ (Lamp), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

My first trip to the Griddle:

Saturday morning, 11:15 AM. Quoted 15-20 minute wait. Not too shabby, and was right on the money.

My first reaction to the menu: "Holy crap, there are a lot of pancakes."

My first reaction to viewing the massive pancakes flying past my head and on to other tables: "Oh my Jesus."

My first decision: order Mom's French Toast. With a side of Nutella (since I was almost positive the Stuffed French Toast would be too much for lil' old chocoholic me...)

My first reaction to tasting the French Toast, with an ice cream scoop-size of butter on top: "Oh my Jesus."

My next decision will not be an easy one:
a) should I wait until I burned off the million calories to return to this breakfast haven?
b) should I order pancakes next time?
c) Or stick with the delish French Toast?
d) Or venture to the lunch side of the menu, which looks equally delicious as the breakfast?

It will take multiple, subsequent trips to determine the best course of action.

and how (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

oh my jesus

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

btw the griddle sucks

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

have these people lived in basements their whole lives and have just discovered a) restuarants and b) the internets

Mr. Que, Friday, 13 March 2009 20:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

yeah the griddle is horrible

and how (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

It will take multiple, subsequent trips to determine the best course of action

e) kill self. take sarah beth with u

°° × Þ°))·ΞЊ (Lamp), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:58 (5 years ago) Permalink

Cold winter night sitting in front of a warm fire, night cap in hand and feeling like a bazillion bucks.

I heart Shutters to death.

It's exactly what I want my dream house to look like. Soft, cozy,luxe and lovely. I'm not sure how they do it. But the place has immaculate lighting. Everyone looked so beautiful...trust me, it wasn't just the drinks talking.

This is surely not a place appropriate for a drunk "WOO HOO!!!" shouted from the top of your lungs. I also would not recommend ordering an Adios Mother F'R while you're at it. Don't get me wrong, I like both. But you know when in Rome....

"You know I was here for my last birthday," I said.
"Why are you whispering?" He whispered
"Am I?" Still whispering
"Ha Ha. yeah." He whispered
"Oh sorry. I just feel like I should be whispering." I whispered
"Why ? Is it a secret, Baby?" He whispered

"Uhm..I AIN'T YOUR BABY!" I shouted.

He didn't lose all cred. It's just that he used his "Baby" card waaaaay too early.

My glass of Pinot Noir (Kim Crawford) ALMOST slipped out of hand from shock. That would've been horrible, right?

and how (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

that description of the griddle makes it sound like nannerpuss

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

Mexican Cuisine........Our first mother -daughter Saturday date for 2009!!
Camille picked up the place. As usual she relied on the reviews of our famous Yelpers and we were not disappointed!! With 4 and 5 stars you can't lose.

We took the # 7 train to 46th St/Bliss station and walked 5 minutes to reach this well reviewed (54times) restaurant. The corner place was small (26 seats) but tastefully decorated with a huge mirror on one side and a gigantic picture of a big apple on the other brick side wall. There are a couple of hanging lights .. very cozy. and simple. A small bar is in one corner. Each table has tea lights and they have one waiter. The place was half full or was it half empty when we arrived. but a couple of people
came in right after..

As soon as we were seated I ordered the Guacamole while browsing over the menu. It was delicious!! We also had the Ceviche De Veracruz...Diced Sea scallops with fresh Lime juice, diced Red Onion, tomatoes,Jalapenos ,Avocado,Cucumber,Cilantro and drenched in olive oil .Really good. We finished everything. Camille ordered their special Skirt Steak Mole with rice and beans and I had the Chuleta de Puerco -Grilled PorkChop with Caramelized onions, Yellow rice, Black beans and Tortillas.

The origin of these unique Mexican dishes is obscure, but it's probably a very good guess that they are of mestizo (Spanish-Amerindian) inspiration, created out of he need to make a filling meal from whatever could be afforded and kept on hand.... tortillas, beans, rice, noodles..
Like her music, Mexico's food is sometimes hot, sometimes sweet, sometimes a blending of both; but it is never dull.

Although we were both full....and had no more space for a Postre (dessert) we capped our meal with an order of Pastel de Tres Leches . A fitting finale for an exciting cuisine.

Camille won't stop talking about it on our way home...I have to shut her up. I stopped by this Mexican grocery and bought a bottle of Mole....I have to try it home...

Opps...something very important that I inadvertently missed.....The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! For all that we had.....The bill came uip to $ 42.00 plus tip of course....

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

^^^ i want to know what makes that "review of the day" other than the fact that she spends the first 3rd sucking up to yelp

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 20:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

tastefully decorated with a huge mirror on one side and a gigantic picture of a big apple on the other brick side wall.

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

i'm going to start yelping my bus rides

Mr. Que, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

lol @ that last one

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

For a special Yelp-world event (my 200th review AND my 30th Birthday!!!), my wife and I scored a great table in the quiet back section of Osteria Mozza to celebrate my entrance into that magical and scary realm - my 30s!

Started with cocktails at the bar - I had a gin/cucumber concoction which was refreshing, bold, balanced, perfect - my wife had a prosecco cocktail which was also lovely, accented by a lime zest twist meant to tease and tantalize your nose as you sip.

After a short and incredibly pleasant wait, we were shown to our table. and let me just tell you this place really knows the meaning of service. Professional, pleasant, courteous, personal.

We brought with us, to commemorate my birth year, a 1978 Cos d'Estournel, but ordered several other tastes and quartinos to accompany our meal. The Cos d'Estournel was a revelation - we'd had several 1978 wines over the weekend at my birthday party the night before but this was on a whole other level. It's amazing that a wine harvested 30 years ago is just coming to it's peak. Remarkable.

The food here can only truly be described as hedonistic. The mozzarella tasting menu accompanied by huge slabs of scrumptious garlic bruschetta is just other worldly good. As is the burrata with leeks and mustard bread crumbs.

The pasta dishes were also brilliant. I had the gnocchi pomodoro which was light, pillowy, beautiful. Perfectly sauced and draped with julienned basil and grated ricotta. My wife had the raviolo with brown butter and sage, which was again, the epitome of hedonism. Lush, rich, dense but not too much so.

The desserts were glorious. Bombolini, little pastries, with berries and vanilla gelato, was the perfect combination of textures, the olive oil cakes with a buttery gelato with a rosemary crisp was so odd and revelatory that it was almost as impossible to comprehend as it was to finish, but in the end both were accomplished. The moscato d'asti we had with our desserts was the perfect balance of honey, apricot, and confectioner's sugar - a lovely sparkler to end a lovely meal.

It was quite possibly the best meal I've ever had, and certainly a series of dishes and wines that I will never forget.

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

Like her music, Mexico's food is sometimes hot, sometimes sweet, sometimes a blending of both; but it is never dull.

yes. yes it fucking is. like every other culture on earth, "her" food can be dull. unless you consider refried beans to be the epitome of exitement or something.

ack

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

sigh@lyfe

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

^^^ i want to know what makes that "review of the day" other than the fact that she spends the first 3rd sucking up to yelp

Opps...something very important that you inadvertently missed.....The Piece is .......... BASICALLY RETARDED!!! For all that it sucks... The yelp is nearly 42.00% less terrible than most...

°° × Þ°))·ΞЊ (Lamp), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

As my friends and I drove into Memphis we realized one thing: we knew nothing about Memphis...

So we found a parking spot and strolled around a bit. Saw this place and decided to pop in for a beer. A few hours later, we were definitely more excited to explore the city!

The Flying Saucer definitely exceeded our expectations. I couldn't believe the length of the beer list, especially how many they had on tap as well.

Our waitress was such a sweetheart and the plates on the wall were really cool as well. Awesome place to hang out, comfy seating and fantastic selection. I'll go back every time I'm in Memphis!

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

^^ Guess which sentence in that review remains accurate.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

I may not be perfect, but my evening here certainly was. As usual, the BF and I spent days figuring out where to go for a delectable dinner. We yelped, used menupages, and made lists. Yes, we take our meals quite seriously. That said, at 7:30 Sunday evening, we still hadn't picked a place. With so many choices of great places to dine, sometimes it's so hard to narrow it down. So what better place to eat than a tapas bar?
We read that it was BYOB, so we brought a bottle of wine and headed over, taking a chance that there wouldn't be too long of a wait.
There wasn't - yay! We were seated promptly in the candle lit, intimate setting and our server appeared to uncork our wine bottle.
We asked (or I did) for recommendations, of course, and our waiter was happy to oblige. We ordered the asparagus with manchego cheese, sweet potato fries, bacon wrapped prawns, wood oven flat bread, and socca cakes. We both enjoyed the first three immensely, but I didn't care for the flat bread, and my date wasn't sure how to feel about the socca cakes. Churros with chocolate sauce for dessert rounded out the evening. All I can say is that I held myself back from drinking the divine warm chocolate sauce, or asking for it to go for a little fun later. What can I say, I was feeling a bit naughty as my date kept staring at my cleavage and the wine was lovely enough that we polished off the bottle. The atmosphere and food certainly was an aphrodisiac. Not to mention my cute companion.
I absolutely see a return visit in our future. A perfect one. And in true form, my man and I have already picked out the dishes we want to order. Yes, we are quite the pair...

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

The food here can only truly be described as hedonistic.

LOLz.

Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

what % of yelp reviews are more about the yelper and the yelpers life and friends than about the actual subject of the review

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

all spreading warm chocolate sauce on each other's torsos

Mr. Que, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

Wow! I'm not into beer that much. My son is. He ordered some kind of flight over America sampler and I had a dark beer he said would be good (he was right). Like Forest Gump I would say, " I might not be a smart man, but I know what beer is." There was a lot.

I enjoyed the atmosphere. Especially the beer Goddesses (waitresses)all dressed up in cute little plaid skirts. The two hundred beer club has plates on the ceiling and the walls with your name on them and the date when you have drank two hundred different beers. In my naivety I asked my son if that meant in one day!

I had a good time, sat on a sofa and watched the beer Goddesses. I even got a picture with three of them. Boy, ain't life great!

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

"mmm this garlic bruschetta is. . . hedonisitic"

Mr. Que, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

*meow, meow*

Of course a Cat like me would like it here. From the oysters to the caviar, how can you go wrong? This posh kitty filled restaurant was a great hot spot for a Saturday night out with friends.

We ordered a lot, maybe too much food. The waiter kind of took over on that part, so be CAREFUL they will try to add extras to your meal. Corkage here is $25 (which is a little much) and their stemware isn't amazing, however some dishes are too good to pass up.

My favorites:
Oysters on the half shell
The Paddlefish caviar
And the tempura fried oysters, water spinach, jicama, sesame seeds and ponzu.
Oh! And great apple fritters with caramel and sea salt.
We also ordered this drink that was special that evening that tasted like an Orange Julius, so GOOD!

This kitty was satisfied. *Purr* ;)

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

I could not resist the free short stack deal at IHOP yesterday and the invitations form my Harlem friends to visit the only one in the city. The line was terrible because we choose to go for 'breakfast for dinner' but after 20 minutes in the cold and a lot of pressure on the hostess we made it in. The syrup choices were a plus although I believe them all to be primarily high fructose corn syrup and not tree sap. I did buck the trend and split and extra order of hash browns with the free pancakes. So worth it. They even occasionally tasted like potatoes. Really, it is hard to make hash browns spectacular; if they are too good they become home fries.
Best part: even at the end of a long shift our waiter was super sweet and excited to get a tip.
I would only recommend this place one day a year for the free short stack. No more. No less.

Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

IT'S FUCKING IHOP DUDE

Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

lmbo

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

dear god in heaven that cat one :((((((

°° × Þ°))·ΞЊ (Lamp), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

half of yelp reviews are girls using the wink emoticon and talking about their juggs

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

ok the one i found the most hilarious yesterday

i just moved to the 'hood, and am ISO really great pizza without the trek & crowds at Grimaldi's-
i got take out from Sam's the other night. I had no idea what the guy on the phone was saying, but he sounded italian enough to give me something delish. we had the eggplant pizza & a salad, and i loved it!
i will definitely go there again, and maybe next time go for the parm!
the only thing is there is a sign on the door saying 'no pets or strollers'
no strollers? i don't have a baby, or a stroller... (editors note: she only mentions babies, right) but isn't that justweird?

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=2BBPYdmHC1XOhWfBTm74kg

^^^ half of her profile is just shit for dogs

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

oh my jesus

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:11 (5 years ago) Permalink

This kitty was satisfied. *Purr* ;)

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:11 (5 years ago) Permalink

I hate working out and therefore never go to the gym.

But, once in a while, I feel fat and need to work off all the food and alcohol.

So, after a 5 week hiatus from torture class, I finally came back to Core Fusion last night. Trista is my fave instructor and she knows how to work you till you cry mercy.

The class was pretty full last night and there were actually 6 guys in there. Usually, its 95% women. But, hey, guys need to tone up too. At one point, after we did the killer arm workout, I really thought I was gonna pass out. Seriously, I was seeing stars.. OMG.

Well, 1 hr later, and feeling like a firmer cat, I was proud that I dragged my ass here. Torture or not, least I'm not as flabby as yesterday. :)

Classes are $20/session or $12 with student ID.

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

he sounded italian enough to give me something delish.

lady burt stanton (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

but after 20 minutes in the cold and a lot of pressure on the hostess

Don't even wanna know what this meant.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

everything i am posting has been a "Review of the Day" just to be clear

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

It's a fun little hamburger place. Kinda like a Johnny Rockets vibe but more expensive. Our server was the happiest server in the world. I don't know what she was so happy about...but she had perma-grin on her face. You think she was drunk? Or high? It was in the middle of the afternoon~! I don't know but I guess a server with perma-grin is better than a server with a poopie frownie face.

They give you a sheet to mark what you want on your hamburger. I decided on the turkey burger. Very very dry. My lunch date had the mini cheeseburgers. Those were pretty tasty. The fries and onion rings were fresh and pretty good too.

Overall it was just okay. Not bad but I don't know if I'd come back unless I was in the neighborhood and someone else wanted to try it.

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

hahahaha a johnny rockets vibe!

he sounded italian enough to give me something (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

I guess a server with perma-grin is better than a server with a poopie frownie face

^^ actually think she plagiarized this from gael green

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

It's hard being so Alpha all the time.

I know I make it look easy - what with my overwhelmingly pungent male pher-o-mones and my bo-honking machismo.

However, dear Yelpers, let me assure you that The Gar does power down once-in-a-Blue Moon, much like Michael Knight has to garage his high-performance, super-dope talking car K.I.T.T. every so often.

So in between episodes of vanquishing territorial nemeses and ravaging nubile nymphets, I like to tap into my more, shall we say, genteel side by tidying up my appearance and popping into Susina, which is oh-so-proper.

There I like to let the dulcet tones of Classical music dance into my ears and the sweet-sweet scent of potpourri waft into my nose, replacing thoughts of pummeling and smashing with ruminations of Les Beaux Artes and Haute Culture.

Instead of guzzling mead from goatskins and gnawing on barely cooked prey on the battlefields of Conquest, at Susina I can sip delicately-flavored Chamomile tea and sup on sumptuous panini and baked goods.

If you need respite from the madding crowd, lay down your arms and go to Susina. It'll give you the rest you require.

But, men, don't stay there too long and don't visit too often -- or you will develop a man-gina.

Four stars!

The Prices are .......... VERY AFFORDABLE!!! (omar little), Friday, 13 March 2009 21:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm embarrassed to be writing a reivew about Mc Donald's...but here goes.

The food is vomit worthy, as always. The main problem I have with Mc Donald's is the delivery time. The recalcitrant crack dealers they hire to deliver food either get lost after walking one block, or it apparently takes 2 hours to put 10 chicken mcnuggets in a carton. Either way, the service combined with the food is pretty atrocious. One delivery woman actually had the balls (or...well...whatever she has) to ask me for a bigger tip. I ended up giving her half of my laundry money. Bitch!

So why continue to order from and support such a wretched joke of a restauarant? Well, when I'm hungover, I don't want to move, and McDonald's food always seems like such a great idea after a night of drinking. After two hours of waiting for my food, occasionally I feel satisfied (thus, the two stars)....but the feeling is exceptionally rare.

Just stay away from Mc Donalds. Your body will love you so much more.

People thought this was: Useful (2) Funny (3) Cool (1)

Mordy, Friday, 13 March 2009 21:19 (5 years ago) Permalink


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