worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

well let's be clear, I'm going there primarily because he has blue and green drinks on the menu and I'm only contemplating an appetizer because I'm not in my 20s anymore

I mean:

"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"

I read this and thought to myself "fuck, now I have to go to Guy Fieri's restaurant"

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 9:58 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is there a prix fixe option? 7 course? go for it

i hate guy but it's weird how suddenly i become defensive in light of shitty salon articles

Me too!

But no matter how many reports from the front lines of Flavortown, I still need DJP to go and do this thing and tell us about it.

pics or it didn't happen

A seven course guy fieri prix fixe tasting menu would be amazing.

Also I think anytime you use the word "apps" the drink that goes with it should be referred to as a "'rita" regardless of what it actually is

shawnpheneghan 10 hours ago

I enjoy triple D - because there are no calories in watching. I get to live vicariously, dining on foods I would never eat, and do it all from the comfort of my couch with no caloric intake.

I don't think Guy's schitick is an island to itself. He reflects the change on a national level towards re-selling the familiar, spiced up to attract. Would you rather have chicken wings or a twister dog?

http://i.imgur.com/cLdBTrP.jpg

Jalapeño Pale Ale Whiz

don't pin milwaukee's crimes on the rest of us man

SPORKIES
FINALIST

2014 Sporkies Finalists:

Peanut Butter Bacon Bison Burger (PB3) – Exotic Meat Grill
Bacon Wrapped Cherrywood Smoked Pork Belly On-a-Stick – Saz’s Ribs
Chicken-n-Waffle Cone – Water Street Brewery
Deep Fried Maple Bacon Cookie Dough – Emma’s Cookie Kitchen
Dolce Panino (Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich) – La Coppa Artisan Gelato*
Grannie Smith Caramel Apple Shake – Flavorburst Ice Cream
Loaded Twister Dog – Water Street Brewery
Lulu’s Caribbean Crepes – Tropics at the Fair

http://www.wistatefair.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/sporkies-143x300.jpg

predicting this place will sweep next year's awards: http://www.businessinsider.com/inside-us-taco-co-2014-8

EAT TACOS

zach stfu and get in the car. We're having blue Ty-D-Bol cocktails

xp Someone clearly forgot to switch on the alien subliminal message-masking field for that publicity shot

i want that friggin milkshake

The "1%er" is served on flatbread with lobster, garlic butter, slaw, roasted poblano crema and cilantro

I MURDER YOU

A seven course guy fieri prix fixe tasting menu would be amazing.

― joygoat,

joygoat, I'll PayPal three beautiful dollars to you if you design this menu.

I murder u 2

I would eat all this 1%er

Eat the rich

http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/guy-fieri-eating-backwards.gif

i swear EVERY time i open this thread i irl lol at "raw fish and seaweed"

i think this opens today http://www.caesars.com/content/dam/uba/dining/guy-fieri/Horseshoe-Baltimore-dining-guy-fieri-1.pdf

guyntrifierication

his Vegas restaurant is hot garbage

Do tell.

Love how that Baltimore menu has all these Fieri Fiasco descriptions apart from Maryland Crab Soup.

I think he's saving that for future iterations of the menu, when he'll introduce "Cap'n Guy's Wasabi and Donkey Sauce Chipotle Cream of Crab Soup".

Guy-Crab Dippers

Complete with Guy's own Old Guy spice mixture.

BRUTHA’S BADASS
CAES-UH SALAD

Honestly kind of surprised there isn't a dish called "Hot Garbage."

his Vegas restaurant is hot garbage

Details!!!

oh damn there is a mayor of flavortown, and he has a burger named after him. is guy the self proclaimed mayor? or does he just promote tourism?

my story of eating at Guy Fieri's Vegas restaurant:

I flew into town to meet up with a college friend who was throwing an extended weekend birthday party in honor of his 40th birthday. There were few scheduled activities and nothing specific on Friday night, which was when most ppl were coming in, so that folks could explore whatever parts of Vegas appealed the most to them. I mentioned that I was fine with going with the flow but that I really wanted to do drinks and appetizers at Fieri's trainwreck restaurant. Of course, these are MY friends, so eyes light up and it immediately becomes AN EVENT that we are literally waiting for people to fly in for so that we can torture as many ppl as possible.

All of the mixed drinks are available in scorpion-bowl size; if you order one, you get a free t-shirt. I ordered some drink that I don't remember the name of but had an impressively disgusting array of mismatched booze in it and "BBQ bitters". What we ended up with was a giant pina colada.

We ordered the truffle fries, expecting to die from truffle overload. They were actually really, really good! In fact, they were the only good thing about the evening and even there, it was a good thing we were sharing them among 5 people because if one person had tried to eat them, vomiting would have occurred.

I ordered the Won-Tacos. These were tuna sashimi in a crispy wonton wrapper shaped like a taco shell. They were disconcertingly sweet. I ate half of them because I was starving.

Another person ordered the carnitas tacos, took one bite, and declared that they were possibly the worst thing he'd ever tasted.

The birthday boy ordered a hamburger with macaroni and cheese on it. It was absurd to look at and apparently tasted like cardboard.

Some other food was ordered and it was also bad.

At the end of the meal, the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

The really disappointing thing was, aside from the carnitas, nothing was OMG TOTAL TRAINWRECK bad. Only the truffle fries were any good, but everything else was wholly unremarkable, mediocre-to-bad food that had the OVER THE TOP! thing as the only things that made it distinctive from any other below-average meal you've eaten at a bad chain restaurant. Also, the fucking t-shirt is in black and white and WAY too tasteful to be associated with Guy Fieri. Remind me to post pictures of it; the tried-but-ended-up-boring nature of it perfectly encapsulates the food I tasted.

Another Vegas success story.

the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

cruel lolz

yeah that must be a tough job

Are Guy's places really worse than Chilis or Applebees or TGIF? I haven't eaten at any of them for decades, bar a night in a Mexican airport where we dined at a Chilis for the wi-fi access, but these place all seem to suffer more from an abundance of mediocrity (and sodium) than from utter inedibility. I'm considering heading with friends to Benihana, for example, but I really don't expect much better than Guy's House of Horrors.

Anyway, Fieri's motto should be "The Flair Is In The Food!" That one's on me, Guy.

The most disturbing thing about the BRUTHA'S BADASS CAES-UH SALAD is that it is served in a single "Mega-Crouton".

this sounds like Cheesecake Factory makes better food.

so much beauty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOQEWZzz3L4

http://i.imgur.com/qM8BQmD.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/LynZTRt.jpg

RIP Johnny Garlic's

"this lease coming to an end no longer fits the profile of what we’re looking for."

Great sentence.