OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

really, don't bother

urite obv

yeh

late to the party ... and i know the decline of the Voice has been well-documented ... but the fact that that once-great publication published that pitiful Sublime piece is really, profoundly depressing

man that was one of their better argued more literary efforts

http://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://s3.amazonaws.com/Morning-Mix/Images/author_images/140/Justin_Moyer140.jpg&h=90&w=90

this fucking useless pointless soulless douchebag is laughing at us all

imagining miles davis pistol-whipping this motherfucker

6. Jazz Artists Keep Pistol-Whipping Me

read this on the wp this am w/bloodboiling, knowing it was trolling/clickbait but still wondering how something so aggressively ignorant & philistine even gets published. not to mention just kinda dumb. like with that marginally more sophisticated but (to me) crushingly unfunny sonny rollins satire, it's hard to imagine white cultural icons getting the same treatment.

http://www.undergroundbee.com/2009/03/21sxsw1/images/IMG_4660_JPG.jpg

Jazz let itself be co-opted. Marsalis’s critics say that he gives “too little attention to innovations in the form since the 1960s,” as the New York Times put it. But the main innovation since that era has been jazz’s business plan... I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

I used to don drag to perform. It was cool because it would fuck with people, you know, because I don’t think it’s very typical for straight men to do drag in the name of punk-cabaret, or whatever I was doing it in the name of…

oh justina

Jazz is dead. Long live jazz.

Best response to the Washington Post piece would be for Clickhole to reprint it verbatim.

guys that was all worth it for the eric dolphy youtube

haha otm

Justin Moyer
8/10/2014 1:45 PM EDT
Dear Readers:
Per my below comments posted yesterday, this article was not intended as a serious analysis. To better understand the piece as parody, you should read an article I wrote back in 2012 about the Brooklynization of culture (written for another D.C. paper).

This article is a parody of many idea shared there: things getting "mushy," music being "co-opted," and "fetishizing" certain music. I use some of the exact same language.

In the 2012 article, I wrote:

"On general principle and for the good of all, I stopped writing music criticism for money almost a decade ago."

I stand by those words--and perhaps I should extend those comments to humor!

Thanks again for reading.

Joobajooba
8/10/2014 11:03 PM EDT
Justin, why on earth would you write that your piece is "not satire" then attempt to defuse the uproar by justifying it as a parody.? I read journalism to be informed, not lied to, misled, or duped by clickbait. And why should I go read something you wrote in 2012 in an attempt to understand the current drivel..? A piece needs to stand on its own. Columnists in this day and age need to have some pretty powerful and unique things to say to justify a reader's attention. This falls far short, and is an embarrassment to the Washington Post.

Justin Moyer
8/9/2014 2:52 PM EDT
Dear Readers:
The piece above is a work of parody and was not meant to be taken seriously. My apologies to anyone who thought it was real.

The reasons given for jazz being boring and overrated are ridiculously flimsy and ill-informed. Ask anyone who knows me--I do not feel this way. I might as well have penned a column that says, "I don't understand soccer and thus it's boring and overrated." Sure, some Americans may concur, but such an exercise would only serve as a triumph of ignorance.

Thanks for reading.

Soooooo...the takeaway here is that the WP actually pays untalented writers to troll?

Sorry, don't buy it

hahaha i buy it entirely

poe's law

is the post claiming the non parody is a parody itself a parody

*punches self in face*

I assume "pays untalented writers to troll" has been the WP's business model for at least a decade now.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/s3.weareultraviolet.org/images/G-will-cc.jpg

http://www.foxnews.com/images/595763/0_61_320_012210_han_thiessen_0.jpg

http://cdn.self-titledmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/edie.jpg

Whiney, based on this one piece, this guy seems like a poorly formed joke to me too but repeated callbacks of the "he wears MAKEUP haw haw" variety are nagl

yes, a straight guy who dresses in dragface and called himself "E.D. Sedgwick," and i'm the nagl one

how INTOLERANT i am for making fun of the goofy/terrible electroclash side project of a white cis male woking on his creative nonfiction MFA

co-opting someone else's sub-culture to freak out the squares, maaan [at sxsw]

dude, you can flail if you want but why when dealing with a dude who is making a public ass of himself with his writing is your inclination to focus on him in drag rather than focusing on his public ass writing

i mean, you understand that's how it reads to an observer right? all the other sidebar commentary you got going on there is inside baseball

i mean seriously, after reading through that JAZZ SATIRE piece, fuck if i'm gonna intentionally try to find out more about this guy

because both of his "internet infamous" articles are about the co-opting other cultures, something he literally does as a performer

also, straight dudes who dress in drag just to be wacky/weird/subversive in 2014 is "i have black friends" level of rmde

or I guess DeSoto wasn't servicing the T0fu Hut in 2005?

xp yeah but that's his POINT do u c and i daresay feeding into that in any way has you playing his game more than vice versa
oh wait E.D. Sedgwick, I get it.

public ass writing indeed

we now have multiple guys from Dischord bands debating jazz music in the pages of the Post:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2014/08/11/all-what-jazz-or-how-to-declare-something-dead-without-listening-to-it/

rolling jazz & satire are dead thread 2014

Waiting for Ian MacKaye to chime in in all caps.

COMPETE COMPETE DO IT FOR THE BOYS
JAZZ SAXOPHONISTS MAKE THE MOST NOISE

the #2 google hit for me for "are we being ironic" is
are-we-being-ironic-or-not-i-dunno anthems of a future generation

Eddie Sedgwick would have been better now that i'm thinking about it
i'd like to stop thinking about it.

filler review from All Music for Rigor Mortis's s/t:

" Review by John Book

One of the few death-metal bands to be signed by a major label with their first album, they were dropped due to "poor" sales. It's an amazing album."

Are there lots of 'community sourced' reviews on all music? I notice a lot of the more obscure reviews are way below the site's typical standards.

They seem to have less and less reviews every year now, and the length and quality is often dropping.

Before launching into his second song of the evening, D’Angelo took off his jacket to reveal his frame. Once almost shockingly fit – a tiny person could scale the abdominal muscles on the Voodoo cover, if one were able to survive the overpowering sexuality of it all – D’Angelo, 40, is carrying some extra weight these days.

And so is his music.

jesus

OMG a piece of writing about a male pop star* which treats his body with the same level of objectification that female pop stars are just routinely subjected to!!!1!11

*Yes, I know, before you all jump on me: Racial implications are complicated. But still.