God bless the goddamn Onion

That Ninja Turtles bit was hilarious.

I miss when their videos were of this caliber:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8fnoZXrmdU

http://www.theonion.com/articles/homosexuality-only-thing-parents-can-accept-about,36622/

xp I've never been called anything worse than a big black fuck ox.

that line kills me every time. i love it when they pull off something genuinely hilarious but couple it with genuine insight and commentary. doesn't always happen, but when they're on, man are they on!

I take it this is how the onion announces they're getting into the sponsored content game or has it been going on for a while?

The Onion ‏@TheOnion 11m
If you believed some websites still had the integrity not to shill for sponsors, you’re as dumb as we thought http://onion.com/1uiMUi2 #SPON

remember: if you're glib and knowing about it, it doesn't count

/trenchant

there's been sponsored crap on the onion dot com for a while, usually like product-integrationy news in brief bits.

yeah sounds like they started last summer

http://www.cjr.org/behind_the_news/clickhole.php?page=all

I like that clickhole's sponsored content section is called CashHole

I like how their free article limit blocked the sponsored content for me.

pure silliness, good chaser for today

http://www.theonion.com/articles/busch-gardens-unveils-new-9600milelong-endurance-c,36691/

http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-talks-hypothetically-it-would-be-okay-to-hav,36687/

"No matter how deep you go..."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvGXN7nIUAA1OJW.jpg

[Not Satire] http://www.fastcodesign.com/3033865/the-look-of-funny-how-the-onions-art-department-work

http://www.clickhole.com/video/amazing-boy-saw-heaven-during-his-near-death-exper-830

http://www.theonion.com/articles/were-going-to-enjoy-this-cocainefueled-mason-jar-r,36779/

Fucking died at 'jar-powered god slaughterers'

http://s24.postimg.org/a6fs127vp/gop.png

http://www.theonion.com/articles/unpopular-police-officer-thinking-about-committing,36790/

✓

xp I know a young dude like that. He told me a joke about 'his ex wife' when he was 17

http://www.theonion.com/articles/leaving-dorm-room-door-open-to-play-large-role-in,36774/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/chase-executives-fondly-recall-financial-companys,36863/

This headline is cracking me up: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-huggers-announce-plans-for-you-to-get-over,36896

yeah that got actual lols from me

lol that's great

http://www.theonion.com/articles/family-unsure-what-to-do-with-dead-hipsters-posses,929/

I might be overthinking but I love the Kelly cartoons that don't seem to spring from political opinion but instead some event in Kelly's personal life, like you could piece together an implied backstory: http://o.onionstatic.com/images/27/27478/original/700.jpg?2112

no that's def part of the appeal

yeah I think there are also cartoons that make indirect reference to a failed marriage or soemthing

Love that too, I'm sure I've said this before but it makes them a more pitch-perfect sendup of, for example, Mallard Fillmore dedicating itself to the creator's dissatisfaction at the cancellation of Veronica Mars. And just general regular-newspaper-columnist stuff, "regular readers will know I have little patience for," miscellaneous name-drops of family members, etc.

the kelly view on women is painfully note-perfect and my favorite element of the strip

^all of this otm

kelly def the richest and best drawn character they have

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-dad-just-wants-to-watch-one-7hour-block-of-te,37082/

they really need to do a father's day card with this one on the front

may 5 1999

Brutality-Desensitization Process Nearly Complete

http://www.theonion.com/articles/brutalitydesensitization-process-nearly-complete,734/

Pretty good forecasting by The Onion.

A good favotie onion article brings such joy forever

I remembered this article today and it's so wonderful

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fiscally-im-a-rightwing-nutjob-but-on-social-issue,20486/

"Marxism should be taught in schools. But there should be no public schools. And everyone should be required by law to participate in women's empowerment seminars. But the heavily armed stormtroopers enforcing this law should be independent contractors."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-crispy-snack-cracker-to-ease-crushing-pain-of,1021/

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Thursday, November 7, 2013 12:17 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

posted above, my favorite onion article ever and I think possibly the first I ever read, or the first that really grabbed me

http://www.theonion.com/articles/lifelong-dream-no-match-for-first-brush-with-adver,37186/?fb_action_ids=10152313606332261&fb_action_types=og.shares

Does anyone have a link to the Onion story about the guy who raises his daughter with cultural reference points that mean she can't communicate with her peers?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cool-dad-raising-daughter-on-media-that-will-put-h,26132/

once met a guy who swore he'd never let his future children watch disney movies and that he was gonna raise them on kurosawa instead

I'll never let my future children exist

Disney movies are kinda fucked

I have nothing against mainstream kids' media as a rule but disney movies have a weird disturbed streak that runs through most of them.

*makes fun of your progeny*

So we have to watch either Disney or Kurosawa?

Ozu is for poseurs