pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmfEiEmfVT0

can you believe future islands made a beer ad?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1daIIDQsXI

SEAGRAMS CHANGE

hahah

why didn't Bruce Willis record an album w/the Fabulous Thunderbirds

he was on motown, they were on cbs

The Rentals
Lost in Alphaville
By Stuart Berman

The Rentals started as a side project for onetime Weezer bassist/songwriter Matt Sharp, who many think is responsible for the enduring greatness of that band's first two albums. His first proper Rentals album in 15 years, which features Black Keys’ Patrick Carney on drums, is a welcome thrown-bone for those who were drawn to Weezer for their winsome underdog charm.

a welcome thrown-bone??

a welcome-thrown bone

Like having sex on a toilet

I'd rather fuck on an actual throne.

Welcome the Throne

winsome underdog charm

winsome underdogs love to chew on welcome thrown-bones

final two lines of a review, too:

Still, Imagine Your Self in a Free and Natural World showcases a writing approach that models itself more like abstract poetry than conventional verses, combining jazz with rap in a way that hasn’t been as exciting since the acid-jazz wave in the early '90s. The combo hasn't been as forceful as it is here, too.

man, just hire some more editorial staff

use some of that late night whiskey money

I'd actually rather read grammatically challenged, freshman-comp level writing like that than needlessly vicious takedowns of low-hanging fruit like Gaslight Anthem (see: lan C0hen's review today). I don't give a shit about Gaslight Anthem one way or another, but they seem relatively harmless and hardly deserving of such cruelty from a guy who probably writes Promise Ring fanfic

you haven't read any freshman compositions lately have you : /

The Rentals review also refers to "Dirty Projections-style vocal acrobatics." There is no band called Dirty Projections.

Cue some wiseass finding a shitty local band called "Dirty Projections" online, you know what I mean though.

Ian Cohen's writing always makes me think he's really unpleasant to be around.

maybe Dirty Projections are what Dirty Projectors fans affectionately call their songs?

"welcome thrown-bone" becomes even more hilarious when you realize that the word "underdog" is in the same sentence. I will throw a welcome bone to the underdog.

every bone has its thrown

welcome thrown-bone

amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x4_1tSzN1w

yeah! who wants to bone?

http://www.halloweenforum.com/attachments/halloween-props/106807d1325682826-bone-throne-bonethrone1.jpg

i heard they're booking Bone Throne for next year's Maryland Death Fest

Would love to throw a bone on the bone throne

play some chords

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5_3XaaeRXI

maybe Dirty Projections are what Dirty Projectors fans affectionately call their songs?

― some dude, Wednesday, August 13, 2014 10:07 AM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i have heard the lead singer refer to his songs this way in an interview no foolin

During “Stay Vicious”, Fallon admits, “I still love rock'n'roll and I still call somebody ‘baby’.” Disregarding the rockism, sexism, mansplaining, and ageism that can be perceived in this lyric

this definitely seems like what the woman who coined the term mansplaining had in mind at its inception

i appreciate everyone refraining from posting the obvious Austin Powers youtube; thanks for being stars

not pertinent but pertinent
http://instagram.com/buttsofpitchfork

yes we know creepers photographing strangers at festivals is a popular pastime in this horrible world we live in

i didn't know! and i found it because a fellow pr type got asked to accredit them with the following comeon:

We are a new fashion blog called Butts of Pitchfork. We are currently in the process of posting pictures of Pitchfork Music Festival's patron's butts. We post 1-2 pictures per day and we have enough pictures to sustain the project for one year. That is, until the next festival. We started the project less than one week ago and we already have over 500 followers; we predict that very soon our followers will number in the thousands. This is not an ironic project; rather, we have a "butt positive" attitude oriented towards transcending negative conceptions of butts and butt fashion. Due to the unexpected success of this project in the very limited time that we have been pursuing it, we are interested in investigating other, similar festivals with the hopes to begin new blogs devoted to them. Overall, we are confident that these blogs will enhance the communal atmosphere in the festivals at which we have a presence.

we have a "butt positive" attitude

Ian Cohen's writing always makes me think he's really unpleasant to be around.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, August 13, 2014 11:03 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

nah he's a terrific guy; we've socialized many times. Judge not the man by the writing.

His writing's all I'm judging! No judgement on the guy.

his writing "always makes me think he's really unpleasant to be around" is a judgment!

Cohen is like in the top 5 reviewers they've ever had, his shit is great even when i disagree with him or have little interest in the artist

C0hen IS Pitchfork as far as incarnating its principles, voice, and approach.

i don't think that's true. his taste is an outlier in a lot of ways and so is his hammy sense of humor, especially these days.

not a fan of his writing at all, a lot of his reviews read like mosaics of unrelated and bad jokes, but he is literally the only dude covering pop-punk and emo in a relatively visible way so *thumbs up emoji*

b-but i thought that was *you*

tbf the gaslight anthem review was pretty week jokes-wise but he's had some knee slappers in the past imo

the kicker of the gaslight anthem review is pretty awesome imo

agree

his writing "always makes me think he's really unpleasant to be around" is a judgment!

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, August 14, 2014 1:10 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i mean you're focusing on the wrong clause of that sentence imo?? ~his writing suggests to me~ that he's unpleasant ie i find his writing suggestive of obnoxiousness irl BUT HEY bet he's a nice dude and all

lol at the handwringing over HOOS having said the first potentially mean thing of his life