pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

4 out of the 5 review descriptions on the front page refer to how many years its been since...

i mean i'm in no position to throw stones when it comes to pondering how many times the earth has circled the sun since a song dropped, but man change it up

it seems like only yesterday that ______

man it would warm my heart to click on a new pitchfork review and be faced with a short-story-as-review rather than introductory links and "it has been five years since blah blah..."

― da croupier, Tuesday, July 29, 2014 3:08 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha totally

"it's not surprising, then..."

"'Three years after the release of their last EP, and two after an acrimonious split with original guitarist'...oh FUCK IT i'm going to pretend i'm the singer's psychologist and that we discussed his last album at our last session!"

^^knowing how reactive p4k can be to this thread i expect to see Brent DiCrescenzo and Nick Sylvester back on staff by tomorrow

"Three years since the Austin-based band became Brooklyn-based"

nah Nick S. is on the good side of the coverage now

i heard you moved from austin to brooklyn
i heard you moved from brooklyn to austin

any of you guys want to go see skrillex with me tonight

Nearly thirteen months since our last meeting, Maura

he goes on at 9:30

I'm seeing Bright Eyes instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7GJcKuVGm8

forever whine
i'm gonna be
forever whine

Not only are you exactly what you promised yourself you wouldn't be (old)

Champion-level projection here.

if only there was some way to not get old, maybe continually investing my time and energy in youth cultures will work

you post on a pop music message board

it's a lot of kinds of music message board

really enjoying Cold Worlds, thanks pitchfork.

i don't understand how wondering why YG didn't get an arbitrary designation (that generally means something tangible to those who receive it) from a website = earnestly engaging w/ the music of the National and the Hold Steady

the right side of that equation is a much more worthwhile use of time

I half-agree with you

the sold heady

man it would warm my heart to click on a new pitchfork review and be faced with a short-story-as-review rather than introductory links and "it has been five years since blah blah..."

― da croupier

otm, this is the sort of human endeavour of which i approve

Love that Whiney was making these posts with a DEP dn

Calculating Bnminity

I still can't get over this fucking Nightcap thing

http://pitchfork.com/news/54930-pitchfork-launches-nightcap-series/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41aCv9sSRAc

hard to believe in two years jim beam has gone from daughtry and rolling stone to majgikal clowdzez and pitchfork

http://www.beamsuntory.com/news/press-releases/jim-beam-lms

can you imagine, concerts late at night, what a novel concept

http://www.voicesofeastanglia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Jim-Bam-Adverts-704x400.jpg

wonder if we can get one of these with bon iver and steve winwood

oh wait bon iver reps bushmills forgot

https://twitter.com/JimBeam/status/473962644307578882

https://twitter.com/JimBeam/status/490514526035378177

It is smart marketing for both parties, dunno why we would be picking on this. Of all things they did wrong over the years.

i didn't realize i was being a bully, sorry

i mean why WOULD one mock astute corporate synergies

because they aren't rock n roll!!

at this point i'd say they've been rock longer than they weren't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zcBBFyzgkI

nonetheless, i still find variations on "COOL brought to you buy BOOZE" funny

cool is usually brought to you buy booze iirc

*by

but a VERY interesting slip there.

pitching the baffler as we speak

dammit i was wondering when someone would figure out the advertorial logic to my typos

I thought late shows were kind of universally frustrating to all concert goers and there seems to be literally NOTHING marketable about this, and you are taking a half-baked unwanted thing and trying to spin it in a positive way but all of it seems completely ridiculous and unnecessary

I mean did I seriously have to fucking type that out

Here's an idea, how about a Jim Beam®-sponsored restaurant event where they take an hour and a half to bring you your food because of the great bonding experience of sitting at a table with friends you love