pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Can't believe I was wrong about the band who got in a horrifying bus accident that sidelined them for a year at the peak of their success

like having that conversation at all in 2014 isn't as embarrassing as shitting your pants in school

― dilligaf escape plan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, July 29, 2014 1:11 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't think talking about anything is as embarrassing as shitting your pants

dude i'm not judging your ability to gauge their commercial prospects

lol that's basically morbs calling out all the supposed apatow groupies. real talk if you like this subset of shitty retro rock bands or that subset of shitty retro rock bands it doesn't put you on the right or wrong side of history (how corny indie fuxxor is that btw), it just means you like shitty retro rock bands.

Have you ever actually done it? Surprisingly chill, if done in right circumstances

And somehow they've upped their jubilation game without making too many sonic changes since 2005's self-titled debut. For those listening closely, there are fewer of those gimmicky-yet-resourceful "bass bombs," wherein everyone slaps their floppiest string to thunderous effect; there's a little more Vernon Reid–style shreddage, which sounds like a happy modem warming up; and there's a slight pop-punk edge, like the Obsessed signing their '94 Columbia Records contract using Green Day's blue hair dye. Harmonicraft is business as usual for a band in the business of bliss: the good-vibration harmonies of the Beach Boys, the bad-vibration sludge of the Melvins, melodies that set the controls for the sun of the heart. It's important not because Torche have changed but because metal has changed so drastically around them.

^^from review of a band that basically sounds like Foo Fighters of metal

thread for when we have become the thing we hate

oh at their best i'd say torche are downright jawbox-like

Whiney in rhetorical inconsistency shocker

jawbox owns

i'm saying! torche at their best recall a 1994 worth revisiting

B-B-B-B-BUT TEH HIPSTERS ARE LIKE THE KIDS THAT THOUGHT THEY WERE BETTER THAN ME IN HIGH SCHOOL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT FAITH NO MORE

(i do like torche frt and also foo fighters are ok most of the time and have some jams)

lol "wrong side of history." Like your Jesus Lizard t-shirt will someday be like that time you opposed women's suffrage

it doesn't put you on the right or wrong side of history (how corny indie fuxxor is that btw),

this is so otm can't be said enough

i was pretty disappointed by recess after the eps. posting from dustbin of history atm

http://www.amoeba.com/admin/uploads/blog/Brad/nedsatomic

it's sad you never saw kerensky that happy again

is that a groundbreaking brostep act

xp

ug the hipster kids that work at the deli downstairs kinda dress like that :/

Talking about pitchfork and EDM makes me remember this review: http://archive.today/ZUuJI#selection-561.1-565.336

man it would warm my heart to click on a new pitchfork review and be faced with a short-story-as-review rather than introductory links and "it has been five years since blah blah..."

Look at Pork records, a great little label from England that continues to plug away in obscurity while Moby's Play dominates the clubs and the charts. And how about Warp? It's like comparing primitive, neaderthal stone carvings to the Sistine Chapel.

4 out of the 5 review descriptions on the front page refer to how many years its been since...

i mean i'm in no position to throw stones when it comes to pondering how many times the earth has circled the sun since a song dropped, but man change it up

it seems like only yesterday that ______

man it would warm my heart to click on a new pitchfork review and be faced with a short-story-as-review rather than introductory links and "it has been five years since blah blah..."

― da croupier, Tuesday, July 29, 2014 3:08 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha totally

"it's not surprising, then..."

"'Three years after the release of their last EP, and two after an acrimonious split with original guitarist'...oh FUCK IT i'm going to pretend i'm the singer's psychologist and that we discussed his last album at our last session!"

^^knowing how reactive p4k can be to this thread i expect to see Brent DiCrescenzo and Nick Sylvester back on staff by tomorrow

"Three years since the Austin-based band became Brooklyn-based"

nah Nick S. is on the good side of the coverage now

i heard you moved from austin to brooklyn
i heard you moved from brooklyn to austin

any of you guys want to go see skrillex with me tonight

Nearly thirteen months since our last meeting, Maura

he goes on at 9:30

I'm seeing Bright Eyes instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7GJcKuVGm8

forever whine
i'm gonna be
forever whine

Not only are you exactly what you promised yourself you wouldn't be (old)

Champion-level projection here.

if only there was some way to not get old, maybe continually investing my time and energy in youth cultures will work

you post on a pop music message board

it's a lot of kinds of music message board

really enjoying Cold Worlds, thanks pitchfork.

i don't understand how wondering why YG didn't get an arbitrary designation (that generally means something tangible to those who receive it) from a website = earnestly engaging w/ the music of the National and the Hold Steady

the right side of that equation is a much more worthwhile use of time

I half-agree with you

the sold heady

man it would warm my heart to click on a new pitchfork review and be faced with a short-story-as-review rather than introductory links and "it has been five years since blah blah..."

― da croupier

otm, this is the sort of human endeavour of which i approve

Love that Whiney was making these posts with a DEP dn

Calculating Bnminity