God bless the goddamn Onion

yeah love that

Lol'd at Lance Armstrong with the N64, also respect for importing the JDM version of Mario Kart 64 instead of waiting for the American release, cause otherwise they would have had to say 1997 ;)

http://www.theonion.com/video/comiccon-exclusive-michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-pe,36528/

wish their vid player wouldn't crap out on me every time

that's real funny tho

The crawl/ticker on that is pretty funny: "Hollywood community shocked, saddened that Charlie Sheen was found alive in his home."

That was in one of those not-quite-The-Onions right after Phillip Seymour Hoffman died.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/02/02/charlie-sheen-found-alive-in-his-new-york-apartment-aged-48/

BuzzFeed Writer Resigns In Disgrace After Plagiarizing ‘10 Llamas Who Wish They Were Models’
NEWS • Our Annual Year 2013 • News Media • Internet • News • ISSUE 49•22 • May 29, 2013

BuzzFeed Politics Writer Is Fired Over Plagiarism
By RAVI SOMAIYA JULY 26, 2014

so... you're saying the *next* TMNT movie will actually have CGI peni?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-law-requires-welfare-recipients-to-submit-swea,36626/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dates-flaws-coming-at-woman-faster-than-she-can-ra,36629/

last paragraph ftw

so good.

That Ninja Turtles bit was hilarious.

I miss when their videos were of this caliber:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8fnoZXrmdU

http://www.theonion.com/articles/homosexuality-only-thing-parents-can-accept-about,36622/

xp I've never been called anything worse than a big black fuck ox.

that line kills me every time. i love it when they pull off something genuinely hilarious but couple it with genuine insight and commentary. doesn't always happen, but when they're on, man are they on!

I take it this is how the onion announces they're getting into the sponsored content game or has it been going on for a while?

The Onion ‏@TheOnion 11m
If you believed some websites still had the integrity not to shill for sponsors, you’re as dumb as we thought http://onion.com/1uiMUi2 #SPON

remember: if you're glib and knowing about it, it doesn't count

/trenchant

there's been sponsored crap on the onion dot com for a while, usually like product-integrationy news in brief bits.

yeah sounds like they started last summer

http://www.cjr.org/behind_the_news/clickhole.php?page=all

I like that clickhole's sponsored content section is called CashHole

I like how their free article limit blocked the sponsored content for me.

pure silliness, good chaser for today

http://www.theonion.com/articles/busch-gardens-unveils-new-9600milelong-endurance-c,36691/

http://www.theonion.com/video/onion-talks-hypothetically-it-would-be-okay-to-hav,36687/

"No matter how deep you go..."

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvGXN7nIUAA1OJW.jpg

[Not Satire] http://www.fastcodesign.com/3033865/the-look-of-funny-how-the-onions-art-department-work

http://www.clickhole.com/video/amazing-boy-saw-heaven-during-his-near-death-exper-830

http://www.theonion.com/articles/were-going-to-enjoy-this-cocainefueled-mason-jar-r,36779/

Fucking died at 'jar-powered god slaughterers'

http://s24.postimg.org/a6fs127vp/gop.png

http://www.theonion.com/articles/unpopular-police-officer-thinking-about-committing,36790/

✓

xp I know a young dude like that. He told me a joke about 'his ex wife' when he was 17

http://www.theonion.com/articles/leaving-dorm-room-door-open-to-play-large-role-in,36774/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/chase-executives-fondly-recall-financial-companys,36863/

This headline is cracking me up: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-huggers-announce-plans-for-you-to-get-over,36896

yeah that got actual lols from me

lol that's great

http://www.theonion.com/articles/family-unsure-what-to-do-with-dead-hipsters-posses,929/

I might be overthinking but I love the Kelly cartoons that don't seem to spring from political opinion but instead some event in Kelly's personal life, like you could piece together an implied backstory: http://o.onionstatic.com/images/27/27478/original/700.jpg?2112

no that's def part of the appeal

yeah I think there are also cartoons that make indirect reference to a failed marriage or soemthing

Love that too, I'm sure I've said this before but it makes them a more pitch-perfect sendup of, for example, Mallard Fillmore dedicating itself to the creator's dissatisfaction at the cancellation of Veronica Mars. And just general regular-newspaper-columnist stuff, "regular readers will know I have little patience for," miscellaneous name-drops of family members, etc.

the kelly view on women is painfully note-perfect and my favorite element of the strip

^all of this otm

kelly def the richest and best drawn character they have

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-dad-just-wants-to-watch-one-7hour-block-of-te,37082/

they really need to do a father's day card with this one on the front

may 5 1999

Brutality-Desensitization Process Nearly Complete

http://www.theonion.com/articles/brutalitydesensitization-process-nearly-complete,734/