make up some fake, inscrutable adages and post them here

Face down in the shade, a lying man waits.

a knife in the back is worse than two in the kitchen

You can't spell "abort" without art and b.o.

Fear the reaper and swaddle the tweaker.

Holler in a hole, kill your mother's soul.

Behind every great person is a people's front

When rich men weep the mountains grow steep.

Its easy to be a knocker, its harder to be a door

better a pennyworth of timber than a mountebank for a cousin

It is the fool who pulls the stray thread; the wise man tucks it up under.

Just because tomatoes grow in the dark, doesn't mean a dog will.

the only thing more true than change is the changing of truth

which way which will

he who breaks bread keeps his head

you can't unsuck a dick

neither fake nor inscrutable

A dick in the hand is worth two in the tush.

When you're young you only have left friends.
When you're old you barely have friends left.

--Winston Churchill

many a sweet poon was splayed on an old piddle

^ too good to leave in sandbox tbh

King Kong rationalised his risk, and look what happened to him!

Nothing is plastic once it's worn

A moth to a flame makes a sane man lame.

Every fight about work is a fight about fighting about work.

Ain't no party like the Democratic party cause the Democratic party has pizza rolls

Bees knees are overrated.

When the beast kneels, the feast begins!

demi lovato and wilder valderrama's dog 'spawn' died, he was fez on tv

Show me a person that understands fractions, and I'll show you a really neat piece of ice

A really neat piece of ice doesn't last forever, so try to get other people to look at it while it still exists

as long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit

if you're not going to wash it, don't expect anybody to eat it

when a banana loses its peel, it gains what it lost in elasticity

a real man doesn't see with his eyes - he dances with them

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is to explain what was so neat about a piece of ice that wasn't documented properly before it completely melted

When passing through a dark moment in time, one must always remember to bring a flashlight. and the right batteries for the flashlight.

don't step on a crack
Or Aunt Jemima will no longer be Black

the worm turns easier through an apple

An owl in the hand doesnt give a hoot.

Even a toad avoids a sleeping rat.

The owl sings the other birds to sleep.

When the rose is in the arbor, the ship stays in the harbor.

Fool me thrice: neat piece of ice!

Pontius Pilate
Would have been a Pirate
But for want of an "Rrrrrrr!"

When the rose is in the arbor, the ship stays in the harbor.

Is this about sex?

what do you think?

Three pennies are enough to gild a pig.

If I whine, I am pine
If I purr, I am fir
If I creak, I am teak
If I crash, I am ash
If I screech, I am beech
If I lurch, I am birch
If I spoke, I am oak

if it's long, bulbous and thick
make sure it's zucchini
and not a dick

You can't burn a fork.

Yawn at the dawn
Be right at the right