God bless the goddamn Onion

most news is like that too iirc

http://www.theonion.com/articles/sonny-corleone-would-still-be-alive-today-if-he-ha,36297

10. Not sure how we’d do this or what would be in it, but the idea is that the first time you view the GIF, it’s not funny at all and is very confusing. None of the pieces seem to fit together. You can’t discern the whole image. But the second time you view it, it becomes very funny. Your laughter is sudden, irrepressible and hard to explain. You feel liberated and even cruel. The third time, however—and for reasons just as obscure to you—the GIF makes you terribly sad. During the third iteration, you desperately want to cry, but you feel that doing so would ruin something fleeting.

Again, we don’t know what’s in this GIF, but it’d repeat every 4 or 5 seconds. Blue background.

total karl malone vibes

Haha yes I was just coming here to say the same about that :)

12. Stephen Hawking dunking a basketball from the free throw line, then pumping his fist

NOTE: Should be clear in the GIF that we’re NOT making fun of Stephen Hawking. If anything, we are on his side, laughing with him.

gtfo

i'm late on this but that clavin and hobbes video, whoo boy

calvin and hobbes. clavin and hobbes would be something else altogether.

now imagining a version of that video with norm fucking cliff

You say that as if we probably can't Google one up right now.

whats even funnier abt the calvin and hobbes video is how it spits out when shared on facebook:

http://i.imgur.com/ZgcvUBD.png

ha! pvmic

I made a thread Bait My Clickhole

OK lol
http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/aerosmith-angry-you-328

Trayce you're not baiting my clickhole

and now for an awesome non-clickhole slideshow:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/names-for-william-h-macy-around-the-world,36336/

A Croatian friend explained to me that Kevin Costner is Croatian for "your mother's chiropractor."

That may be the single greater fact I know.

Breaking: LeBron James Leaning Toward Joining Al-Qaeda

Thought for sure that would have something to do with Binyam Mohammed
http://o.aolcdn.com/photo-hub/news_gallery/6/4/649107/1265844393775.JPEG

whoa

http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-reviews-dawn-of-the-planet-of-the-apes,36436/

ha ha awesome

http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-humans-only-animals-capable-of-recogni,36444/

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/26/26592/original/700.jpg?8037

*gasp*

lol @ clarence thomas

genius

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwSzuIW_Klc

Oh my god, that's great.

haha that is great

yeah love that

Lol'd at Lance Armstrong with the N64, also respect for importing the JDM version of Mario Kart 64 instead of waiting for the American release, cause otherwise they would have had to say 1997 ;)

http://www.theonion.com/video/comiccon-exclusive-michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-pe,36528/

wish their vid player wouldn't crap out on me every time

that's real funny tho

The crawl/ticker on that is pretty funny: "Hollywood community shocked, saddened that Charlie Sheen was found alive in his home."

That was in one of those not-quite-The-Onions right after Phillip Seymour Hoffman died.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/02/02/charlie-sheen-found-alive-in-his-new-york-apartment-aged-48/

BuzzFeed Writer Resigns In Disgrace After Plagiarizing ‘10 Llamas Who Wish They Were Models’
NEWS • Our Annual Year 2013 • News Media • Internet • News • ISSUE 49•22 • May 29, 2013

BuzzFeed Politics Writer Is Fired Over Plagiarism
By RAVI SOMAIYA JULY 26, 2014

so... you're saying the *next* TMNT movie will actually have CGI peni?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-law-requires-welfare-recipients-to-submit-swea,36626/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dates-flaws-coming-at-woman-faster-than-she-can-ra,36629/

last paragraph ftw

so good.

That Ninja Turtles bit was hilarious.

I miss when their videos were of this caliber:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8fnoZXrmdU

http://www.theonion.com/articles/homosexuality-only-thing-parents-can-accept-about,36622/

xp I've never been called anything worse than a big black fuck ox.

that line kills me every time. i love it when they pull off something genuinely hilarious but couple it with genuine insight and commentary. doesn't always happen, but when they're on, man are they on!

I take it this is how the onion announces they're getting into the sponsored content game or has it been going on for a while?

The Onion ‏@TheOnion 11m
If you believed some websites still had the integrity not to shill for sponsors, you’re as dumb as we thought http://onion.com/1uiMUi2 #SPON