people that YELP are scumbags

just chillin'

instead eyes were rolled at me

they see me rollin

they yelpin

i had just called for the manager when a fragile-looking, stooped old man stepped out from behind the deli counter. placing his hands over the top half of his face, he proceeded to roll his eyes across the tiled floor in my direction. i looked down in horror, only to discover that the eyes were merely marbles. he then stepped forward and insisted that i whisper my complaint into his empty sockets.

Photo of I Don't Put My Name Online O.
225 friends
40 reviews
3/30/2014
I Don't Put My Name Online O. says:

I am trying to impress a classy female vegan at the office. Things were going ok Friday when she saw me sneaking a snack in the break room. Just some pretzels and mayo...nothing offensive. She looked at me like I was eating veal! I had no idea that vegans or vegetarians hate mayo due to eggs being an ingredient. Any suggestions on where o get vegetarian mayo? If it doesn't exist I may just print a fake label to put on my existing mayo and hope she doesn't research it. Any help is appreciated.

Is his login a Thundercats joke?

who the fuck eats pretzels and mayo, as a snack, at the office?

Yeah, that is pretty barfy.

scumbags obv

think we can just about say for certain she was giving him a "wtf are you eating you fucking weirdo" look

otm

vegan mayo will not solve the deepseated problems withim his soul

very few problems it will solve tbh, not even sandwich-related problems

suggest new snack, no sir. suggest ban

Just some pretzels and mayo, so let's be cool.

I could see pretzels and mayo working well together. I probably wouldn't eat it an office though. Or any other place where people could see me.

lol

If it doesn't exist I may just print a fake label to put on my existing mayo and hope she doesn't research it.

^^^ This is the solution to so many things

I mean, maybe one of those baked, soft pretzels you get at the baseball that has salt on it would be good with some kind of... flavoured mayonnaise, let's say herb and garlic or maybe curry.

http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/chef-david-chang-explains-why-yelp-probably-wont-lead-you-to-your-favorite-burrito/

Sometimes the [Value Over Replacement Burrito scores] were inflated because they’re in a college town, which is always a phenomenon.

But I’m just going to come out and say: Most of the Yelp reviews are wrong. They just are.

I like the atmosphere, a bit more austere than WK, colder over-all feel. The beer selection was decent (bartender informed us upon arrival they were out of 2 drafts), the bread service is arrogant and a little insulting. Delightful packaging of simple brown packing paper (points for style) when opened reveals two tiny slices of the tiniest loaf of bread Tiny Tim ever laid eyes on. Butter? Delicious. Butchers board was a phenomenal experience, pork belly less so, yet we did clean it up and the sides too (potato salad and hominy A+). Will certainly be back to check out more of the menu.

this free thing that the restaurant brought us as a courtesy is arrogant and insulting!

hahaha I have been to that restaurant and yet I somehow did not feel insulted by the bread service

i almost crashed my car reading its long stupid sign on the way home so i had to look up its yelps and now i feel so depressed about all humans

Anna Maria Barry-Jester is FiveThirtyEight’s burrito correspondent.

this sounds like a byline in a j3ss harv3ll fever dream.

Didn't know Whiney's band was on Yelp

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/excerpts-from-three-star-yelp-reviews-of-the-worlds-first-time-travel-company

Really? Go the the Sizzler you will get a way better value and get what you pay for this place is a S**T whole.

I just ruined my Sunday dinner one night out a week and feel real bad my wife had to eat at this DUMP!

Its not that it is old, I knew that and I have eaten many time before but It must be under new management or the old owner as developed Alzheimer's. The. De core is early Puerto Ricin whore house .That is no big deal if the food was good and a good and fair value great, but that is far from the case. For a classic old steak house you could at least upgrade the I love Lucy decor have the carpeting steamed cleaned.

Food

NY Strip: $ 24.00 Should be served at a truck stop dinner on I-15 on the way back from Vegas because you are tired and need to get home. Tough as my seeker
Ordered salad Instead of Soup: Bag salad with 2 beet slices ( not kidding) brown on the edges absolute crap.
Baked Potato: burned black and reheated
Shrimp Cocktail: $10.00 Small Cheep mussy looked like bait and big chunks of Celery. No effort made in presentation

The waitress looked like her application to the Jerry Springer show just got rejected for the 4th time. She forgot everything and did not bring salad dressing ordered horse radish and the dumb ass new owner delivered it to the table next to us. No drink refills and the chef in the open kitchen looked like he did not have a clue and was going to take the short bus home.

The only good thing is my wife liked her 1 drink and the bread was really good I was so pissed of we were going to leave before my wife's main got there but too late the goat on the plate was delivered just as we had decided to ask for our bill and try to salvage the evening. You are penny wise and pound foolish and as for the new owner who thinks you can short cut yourself to a profitable restaurant, well my friend there is this new thing called the internet and so you might consider a little thing called VALUE

PS Did not leave a tip and don't feel bad .

De core is early Puerto Ricin whore house .

Tough as my seeker

a S**T whole

Ordered salad Instead of Soup

Puerto Ricin has great potential as a band name.

my favorite are yelp reviews that begin, "this is going to be a short review..." and then have multiple bullet-point paragraphs followed by summaries, etc.

lord save me from people who think they are wags

well my friend there is this new thing called the internet

lmao so much gold there

Small Cheep mussy

I cooked at this place for years up until a few months ago. The reviews are generally geared towards the servers and it's hilarious (and yes this guy is talking about a black dude smh):

I don't know what his deal was but our waiter was a complete dick. He had NO idea what a vegan was and thus made my co-workers meal very unpleasant when it came covered in melted cheese. When we said something to him about it he snidely replied "well its not meat now is it" WTF did that just come out of his mouth? Now I'm not *hood* by any means, but someone that disrespectful for no apparent reason is just asking to take a fork to the thigh.

So back to the craptastic food. Aside from everything that the dick hole waiter brought my coworker was non-vegan, he then proceeded to serve me the worst looking salad I have ever seen. What I ordered was a Cesar Salad with extra dressing and the croutons on the side. Really not that difficult. What I got was what looked like a salad that had already been chewed and then spit up back into the bowl. Do I look like a baby bird? Are you my Mamma bird? Are you going to chew the worms up for me then shoot them into my mouth. No...No your not.

Also I think it is noteworthy to mention that EVERYONES meal was terrible and the waiter was a general dick all around. He didn't seem to give two craps about being there and must have been raised by wolves in the wild or something because he was completely unaware of the concept of treating another human with decency and a little bit of respect. Now if your having a bad day or you're hung over or you ran out of coke*cough acola* or something, that's one thing, but suck it up and slap a smile on that face because the last people you want to be jerks to on a bad day are the people that tip you and thus, the people that pay you.

Now I refuse to EVER be a bad tipper even in the brutal face of bad service. So I still gave him the 18% even though he didn't really deserve it. But I did borrow his pen to write "stop being a prick" on the check. And then I nicked his pen on the way out too. May not be much, but it made me feel better.

is 'nicked' a britishism? do Americans say that now?

yeah i was wondering

concerned it looks like I read that and 'nicked' was the only thing that leapt out at me, think it's all vile to be clear, especially the 'suck it up and smile for the people who pay you' stuff

uggghhhhhh the racist ones are just so awful

Now I'm not *hood* by any means, but are you going to chew the worms up for me then shoot them into my mouth. No...No your not.

i was having a drink & some food at the bar @ a place on u st and the owner/manager started asking me how everything was and so on.. so i said it was good, the vegetables were really good and blablabla.. and he asks if i'm on yelp, and i'm like GOD NO ABSOLUTELY NOT did i say the wrong thing that he even suspected i was a yelper. ugh. was it mentioning being a vegetarian, or just that on u st on the weekends, you might expect to meet a lot of yelpers

lol

i had lunch at a bbq place yesterday & the table we were about to sit at was dirty, so the nice waitress quickly grabbed a cloth & wiped it down for us saying " We just finished our lunch rush. People come in & say 'oh the place is so dirty' - lunch rush is so crazy I wish I could just tell them" & all I could think was 'Goddamn Yeplers"

My wife and I ate lunch here recently. She ordered the Create-your-own-slam, and I the Create-your-own-skillet. We're the DIY type, apparently. Aside from a small hair (perhaps eyebrow?) my wife discovered in her turkey bacon and the noticeable soap/cleaning solution taste in the fountain soda, this visit to Denny's was unextrodinary.

I called the manger back Tanya and asked that she refund my card... as I was over charged and did not get anything I ordered... after going through a interrogation like that of a tea party member with the IRS ... she finally found a bag of missing food that was never brought to the counter and never given to us. She first implied it was my fault for not checking but I pointed out that the bags were tied in double knots and we were told the food would be ready in 10 and when we got there we waited another 20. She offered store credit but I did not want store credit I wanted the money she took from be back because I was over charged for food I did not order or receive..