Unemployed Watercooler Fridge Buzz Commiseration, Alienation and Mental Anti-Stagnation Society (DNRIYHM)

Kessler making purple sex faces.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/31c30717b9c7412f11c2f40643bb097f/tumblr_n40cfmqX9H1qmmuqeo1_500.jpg

Kessler looking like a demented creature from the pits of hell...

https://24.media.tumblr.com/7f55b2526f574b8b4ff95c58e17b746f/tumblr_n4gc8bh2W61qgze9ho2_500.png

Haha, yes, this facial expression just about sums it up, Danny boy.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/8ca84c3c7b124c63d72ef56ba368f485/tumblr_n3n8iaPLyj1qfh80oo4_r4_250.gif

This is toxicity in its purest form: someone asks you about something questionable that you said, and your response is to cast aspersions at THAT person and their motives, and proceed to make the entire thing ALL ABOUT YOU and how wounded you are by these terrible allegations that something you said might have been ableist, rather than just saying "OK, yeah, sorry I could see how that could read badly, I'll try to be more careful."

― "righteous indignation shit" (Branwell Bell), Friday, February 7, 2014 9:29 AM (2 months ago)

It's raining Kesslers, hallelujah, it's raining Kesslers...

https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2814/12394739164_ff8e34fece_o.png

giving the pathetic trolling exactly the attention it deserves, BB your beau reminds me of one of DuJour and googling it I see I'm not the only one!

DUJOUR MEANS POST-PUNK!

(I like it)

There's also been EXTREMELY good news in the Cornish community tonight.

"At Midnight, Kernow Becomes an Offically Recognised National Minority of UK on par with Wales, Scotland and Ireland"

(x-post)

Yeah:

maybe just go and fuck yourself you tedious little excuse for a human being

really deserves to be applauded.

To celebrate, let's have some Du Jour dance moves from Kessler...

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5301/5640442078_368f6f86c0_b.jpg

A cowlicked dude in need of a comb...

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3283/2832362756_b8bf50907d_b.jpg

Hey BB I had a rich hairline like that Kessler when I was 26, since the male pattern baldness sequence began it far less impressive. Huh? how come people don't smile at me anymore? Oh yeah it is because I am oppressed obv !

Be more Kessler: grow sideburns!

I blame Brandon for this. If he hadn't joined sodding Interpol and made me go see them my delicate sensibilities would never have been exposed to the dangerously masculine quiff of Kessler and my mind would remain unbesmirched. Damn you, Curtis! *shakes fist*

His bro wrote for Select in the 90's, didn't google that just have a spergerish memory for useless information. Ted Kessler.

~Ironically~ said bro writes about ~men's issues~ for the Torygraph now!

(I didn't google that either; little Kessler tweeted one. It was actually a rlly lovely piece, to be fair)

((It's weird that I was aware of big Kessler for years because of Select, Q, etc. without connecting that they were related. But then again, I never had any reason to pay attention to anyone in Interpol unti big Curtis joined.))

(((not going to speculate on my tendency to fancy hott little brothers)))

Kernow Bys Vyken!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/cornish-people-formally-declared-a-national-minority-along-with-scots-welsh-and-irish-9278725.html

xps
I did wonder if they were related! (Otherwise people our age and older think of *Secret Army and the spin off when Kessler is mentioned)

*UK late 70s WW2 Belgian resistance drama that Allo Allo was a pisstake if (the colonel was in both funnily enough)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Army_%28TV_series%29

I saw it when it was shown on UK Gold some years ago and couldn't believe my eyes when Cliff Claven from Cheers turned up in it.

anyway sorry for interrupting about tv you probably weren't aware of BB.

WAHT.

By the end of this series Kessler and Brandt are closing in on Curtis, as their investigation into a murder in France has led them to the name 'Monsieur Maurice', which is Curtis's pseudonym. Brandt and Kessler pay their first visit to the Candide to locate him. Kessler's interest in Curtis poses a significant threat to Lifeline, and so it is agreed that Curtis will return to England. However Kessler begins a troop encirclement of Brussels in order to trap him. Curtis manages to escape to Switzerland by posing as bus driver for a local Hitler Youth group that is travelling out of the city on a day trip.

Of course I am now imagining various members of Interpol chasing each other around Switzerland while dressed as bus drivers for Hitler Youth groups.

No, wait, that's mine own private re-write of the programme, called Secret Machines Army.

No, seriously. You have all of ILX to play on, and you decide you're going to come on this thread, and have this discussion here. Spare me.

― Branwell Bell, Wednesday, April 23, 2014 11:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Fucksake, how many threads are 'yours' now? Its fucking tedious.

Do you fancy daniel kessler? thats fuckin fascinating. post pictures of him in every thread going and then cry when people post in one of 'your' threads.

"ITS ALL PREP FOR THE SLASHFIC IM WRITING"

I feel u man I too was blindsided by this being a branwell thread, didn't get that from the title, nope

lol, true, hadnt seen that but im still unrepentant.

Daniel Kessler, right, still don't know who is he though

do not read if you hate Google

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7hkbxlFSy1qgugd7o6_400.jpg

Interpol guitarist. There's also a Wall Street Journal columnist with the same name who specializes in healthcare policy.

Kessler otm xp

I wonder if that's another of his million brothers.

His father was also a journalist. There are a lot of journo Kesslers about. It seems to be a thing.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7hkbxlFSy1qgugd7o5_400.jpg

x-post to wins

No the journalist is another *Daniel* Kessler! So not unless the father called all his kids Daniel a la Nicolae Ceauceșcu or George Foreman.

Oh, maybe he is a cousin or something. I dunno. No one has sat down and drawn me a family tree, like the Curtises. (There are substantially more Curtises than there are Kesslers, though. I believe there are only 3 Kessler Bros.)

Is the journo Daniel Kessler also hott tho?

(Does he also have no eyebrows? The eyebrowlessness is urgent & key in Kessler.)

don't want to make a bad joke about "Kessler" being a murky family tree but come on

I'm kind of fascinated by people's families. I suppose because mine own family are all so completely estranged.

I feel ever so slightly creepy for posting this (but honestly, I assume, as a journalist, that big Kessler wouldn't have published it if his family weren't OK with it? And I got here literally from a link off a link that little Kessler posted, so it's not *that* stalky, I don't think he'd have tweeted it if he didn't want people reading it? I always feel weird with the idea of *intended audience*) but it is a beautiful and moving piece about family and history and interrelationships.

http://myoldman.org/2013/07/16/felix-kessler-by-ted/

People's secret family histories are fascinating, on a non-creepy level, just a "human interest" level. I guess it's just particularly interesting to me, because I also come from a cross-continental NY-Lon family, but in reverse (and with different skeletons in the family closet).

I love that site. The dad stories are all so interesting.

Back when TK was features ed of NME, he went out with Emma from Lush (whose My Old Man entry is... something else).

The other Daniel Kessler:

http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/faculty_pictures/kessler-daniel-philip.jpg

He is not hott, but then again, he hasn't any eyebrows either.

I am struck, reading How Soon Is Now, again and again, by how tiny & inbred the UK indie scene was. But there is this level of snideness I am trying not to make about how easy it must have been to guarantee wall to wall press coverage when yr brother was the features editor of NME, and thinking how it was right to be suspicious of the level of hype they had. But then again, it was ever thus, really.

Also it looks like the pitch worked and The Exciting Thing has changed from a yes-no to a do-it yes? Eep!

Ex+

If anything, having a journo for a brother is a bit of a hindrance because all the other publications go 'nah, that's X's brother, fucken nepotism'.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me6jcsQ2PV1qfh80oo2_r3_400.gif

Has anyone seen my ability to ~can~?

I am so bored with the seeming ability of even the tiniest amount of alcohol to send me into the most wretched state of hangover the next day. 2 and a half pints over 4 hours, and now I need to crawl off to find something fried. :(

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2014/04/24/girl-gives-michelle-obama-her-unemployed-fathers-resume/

So Oxleas Wood, apparently, is where the bluebells are at right now?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmLK5L9IcAEBI3i.jpg

^^^ I am having much bluebell envy of this friend who is having much better bluebell luck than I.

I will be trying One Tree Hill, Sydenham and Dulwich woods this week. (I'm actually in search of something else, but bluebells, I am hoping, will be an added bonus.)

Sigh.

I don't know if it's worse when they just ghost off into the ether, or when they come back with some totally negging "interview feedback" of some bullshit reason they're not going to hire you.

So apparently the guy I did the phone interview with interviewed me for another role a billion years ago (didn't hire me obviously) but his response was that, apparently, in the five or whatever years since the last interview, he felt I had "not progressed with *the reporting tool*" which is such patent fucking bullshit, like how would you *know*? You spent twenty minutes talking to me about the company and your role in it, and didn't ask me any actual programming questions? Because I have taken several programming tests recently (for other roles) and actually test really fucking well on the technical shit.

If someone took against you at the first interview, and actually remembered you long enough to reject you at a second interview, I can't help but feel that there was something personal going on. Not helped by the impression that when I asked about the demographics of the team, he came back with the actual words "I don't care if you're black, white, purple" then, without prompting "I don't care if you're male, female, trans..." which, really, that whole phrase is just such a "yeah, OK, you *do* actually have a problem, but you want plausible deniability." Why would you equate being "trans" with being "purple" I mean, literally, what the fucking fuck?

I had pretty much already made up my mind that I didn't want the role. It is just the casual way I'm sick of being negged by dickheads. If you don't want to give me the job, then don't give me the fucking job. There's no reason to insult me on top of it.

I was already having a rough day, but that's just wrecked it.

So of course, I'm going to go on ILX and moan about it, and now some dickhead is going to come on this thread and have a go at me for no reason for fun and games and trolling, because that's what I need right now. Truly.

Everything is shit.

I don't know if I should ring some estate agent and put my flat on the market because I'm done here, or just skip the hassle and stick my head in an oven now. OH WAIT SHIT. It's an electric oven. Fuck this shit. Seriously, just fuck this shit.

That is some serious bullshit! You can't base a decision on an interview from years ago, wtf. I've be seriously tempted to ask for the evidence he used to make that evaluation (of competence with the tool) except that is obviously way too *analytical* of a thing to ask from someone who will take it personally in some way.

It is bullshit, and I really did not need to know his stupid opinion.

You know, there are two kinds of approaches to database reporting.

One is the idea that, if you are bright, and you have an aptitude for the things and an understanding of how databases work, that the specific brand doesn't actually matter, if you have demonstrated capability with one tool, you can probably pick up a similar one just as easily. Because people who are bright, are able to adapt, and skillsets are often transferable between similar things.

The other is the idea that you have to learn one tool thoroughly, and only ever work on that tool for decades and decades, and if you haven't got that specific one thing, even if you have experience of a dozen other things like it, it's no good. Because people are stupid and not easily adaptable and knowledge is a completely un-transferable lump or something.

I am of the former, and everyone I have ever successfully worked for is the former. And if someone espouses the latter, really, that's just a sign that I should not fucking work for them anyway.

I usually had problems convincing the agency that If I was good at X, I would be good at Y in a matter of days. But they more-or-less would say "If I can't tick box Y, I'm not allowed to put you forward"