Autopsy Determines Total Loser’s Corpse Contained No Traces Of Drugs, Alcohol
― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:01 (nine years ago) link
too real
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-hoping-people-notice-how-many-folding-chairs-h,35929/
― chinavision!, Friday, 2 May 2014 13:35 (nine years ago) link
i loled @ all the people tagging their friend Ashley in the fb comments
― smhphony orchestra (crüt), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 00:07 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/video/hurricane-ashley-expected-to-strike-several-bars-t,35951
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 17:09 (nine years ago) link
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― estela, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 08:26 (nine years ago) link
Open link in incognito window
― smooth hymnal (m bison), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 10:31 (nine years ago) link
yeah i get that all the time now. their website has just gotten uglier and more money-getty and SEO-ish over the years
― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 12:50 (nine years ago) link
yes, it is very reminiscent of Estelle "Money" Getty
― some dude, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:04 (nine years ago) link
irl lol
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:10 (nine years ago) link
i dont getty it
― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:13 (nine years ago) link
Bea Arthur she does what she pleases.
― pplains, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:18 (nine years ago) link
Study: Most Serial Killers Did Not Receive Toy Every Time They Went To Store As Kids
― silverfish, Thursday, 8 May 2014 19:20 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/un-report-on-magical-realism-warns-of-increased-in,35985/
― the pinefox, Saturday, 10 May 2014 09:36 (nine years ago) link
^^^ good one
― Doctor Casino, Saturday, 10 May 2014 12:28 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/13-most-common-questions-employers-will-ask-at-a-j,35996/
― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Monday, 12 May 2014 18:58 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/stonehearted-ice-witch-forgoes-exclamation-point,36005/
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:02 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/furious-maitre-d-can-only-assume-hostess-didnt-rea,35992/heh, this is my life
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:10 (nine years ago) link
lol Gerardo
― Οὖτις, Monday, 12 May 2014 19:14 (nine years ago) link
he's very nice
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:16 (nine years ago) link
very particular about his souffle though
― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:22 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/10-things-your-parents-were-right-about,36017/#1
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 19 May 2014 21:13 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/video/christ-article-a-video,36101/
BOOM
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:32 (nine years ago) link
and i sat through a fucking ad for that goddamn mcfarlane western for that too
― Look at this joke I've recognised, do you recognise it as well? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:52 (nine years ago) link
actually had to take a deep breath when i saw this one
http://www.theonion.com/articles/date-rapist-tossing-his-mortarboard-into-air-3-row,36088/
― goole, Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:55 (nine years ago) link
Nails it:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/revealing-spring-attire-reminds-man-he-nothing-mor,36104/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:09 (nine years ago) link
Yep.
― overwhelmed with sweat (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:38 (nine years ago) link
Reminds me of http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-students-prepare-breasts-for-increased-spring,20014/
― pplains, Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:38 (nine years ago) link
Came after the not a damn video one:Ohio executions
― nickn, Friday, 23 May 2014 05:22 (nine years ago) link
So what do those letters mean? I'll tell you, but as a knowledge-hungry ENTJ, I'm a tiny bit annoyed that you didn't look up the answer yourself.
― conrad, Friday, 23 May 2014 08:54 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-reluctant-to-cut-funding-for-tank-that-ju,36099/
― axe douche for men (silby), Saturday, 24 May 2014 03:10 (nine years ago) link
lots of bummer stories with no jokes lately
http://www.theonion.com/articles/elderly-dog-can-already-tell-owner-doesnt-think-sh,36135/http://www.theonion.com/articles/retired-factory-worker-had-no-idea-earnings-from-5,36069/http://www.theonion.com/articles/college-rape-victim-pretty-thrilled-she-gets-to-re,36129/
― macklin' rosie (crüt), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 17:08 (nine years ago) link
the 2nd and 3rd are vaguely aiming for some kind of social commentary. i get those even if i maybe they are week. the first one tho? it's just like a little sad short story. area man's heart broken by pointlessly tragic 100 word sidebar.
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 28 May 2014 19:36 (nine years ago) link
Contemplating spending $3K on hip surgery for my dog tomorrow, wish that piece had never been written.
― lauded at conferences of deluded psychopaths (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 20:56 (nine years ago) link
:-(
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 21:01 (nine years ago) link
i just don't know if "not enough jokes" is an accurate diagnosis there
― ♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 21:10 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this,36131/
― ciderpress, Saturday, 31 May 2014 17:17 (nine years ago) link
This is so dumb but kills me:http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-looks-back-at-saving-private-ryan,36211/
― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 5 June 2014 19:41 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/bill-simmons-ventures-into-interdimensional-vortex,36205/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:1:Default
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Thursday, 5 June 2014 19:56 (nine years ago) link
Absolutely hilarious.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-an-elderly-black-woman-as-depicted-by-a-sophom,29855/
― Evan, Friday, 6 June 2014 16:18 (nine years ago) link
yeah that one is a classic
― Doctor Casino, Friday, 6 June 2014 17:47 (nine years ago) link
Hadn't seen it before
― Evan, Friday, 6 June 2014 18:04 (nine years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/breakfast-in-bed-served-to-mom-who-just-got-eaten,32401/
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Saturday, 7 June 2014 19:43 (nine years ago) link
New Charter School Lottery System Gives Each Applicant White Pill, Enrolls Whoever Left Standing
― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 14:29 (nine years ago) link
http://www.clickhole.com/video/video-seems-silly-it-makes-good-point-264
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 12 June 2014 16:40 (nine years ago) link
Wow, that whole http://www.clickhole.com/ site is great
― StanM, Thursday, 12 June 2014 18:33 (nine years ago) link
it really is
http://www.clickhole.com/article/want-feel-old-movie-high-fidelity-would-be-sexy-14-234
― balls, Thursday, 12 June 2014 19:48 (nine years ago) link
Best part is that the paid adverts are indistinguishable from the articles
http://i.imgur.com/nwynblH.png
― 龜, Thursday, 12 June 2014 19:56 (nine years ago) link
i'm curious how long they can pull it off but then again i never would've predicted the onion could reliably make me laugh doing what they do for nearly twenty years now
― balls, Thursday, 12 June 2014 20:06 (nine years ago) link
I'm still not convinced that AV Club isn't a very ambitious extension of the The Onion's satire.
― pplains, Thursday, 12 June 2014 20:11 (nine years ago) link