Unemployed Watercooler Fridge Buzz Commiseration, Alienation and Mental Anti-Stagnation Society (DNRIYHM)

Thank you!

It really will be something that I pay more attention to in the future, is how many ~women my age~ there are in an office. (In that one: none.)

Because I have started thinking, like, it's impossible for me to work those kinds of hours because of my long-term health issues. But what if I had children? I don't in any way mean to equate "parenting" with "middle aged women" but still! It does make me wonder, when women my age disappear from a workplace, what the issues are. I don't know why men put up with overwork culture. But from those guys in the interview, going "I work 9 hour days, no problem" "well, I work 10 hour days!" I suspect it is that whole "macho" competitive overwork bullshit.

(Oddly, the employer that I worked for 2 jobs ago, like, 75% - 80% of their staff were women. And they were having appalling problems with their staff retention rate. The whole reason that they dropped the standard contract hours from 40 to 37.5, and also instituted flexi-time and part time, was in a deliberate effort to hold onto their staff, most of whom were women. But the reason they were even willing to consider it, was that they had 3 women on the board of directors! 2 of whom had children, and all of whom said "you know, the working hours might be a problem.")

Blah blah blah etc.

I don't know why men put up with overwork culture.

Don't blame the victim!

You know, on ILX, I sometimes spend a great deal of time composing posts, and then just hitting the back button, thinking "I don't really have the energy or the emotional equilibrium to argue through the inevitable backlash right now."

And then I see the posts that other ILX0rs actually just go ahead and blithely post, and I just think "really?"

Instead, I am going to go and pitch some illustrations to a website that a friend of mine told to me pitch to over a year ago, but I never got around to doing because... well, because I was afraid. Because I think that would be a better use of my time and energy.

happy bday for y'day k8!

tbf i was listening to some of the women in my office having a "who's ill the least" brag-off y/day so i've got to say that workplace tuffness feels like an equal opps disease in some ways. but otoh we work reasonably flexibly and have reasonable holidays

I am not going to have this argument, and especially not here, but when I hear men who do not go home and do The Second Shift bragging about the ~long hours~ they work it does ring a little hollow.

I mean, basically fuck long hours culture for a billion other reasons, but for men to even pretend this is some place where men and women are equivalents, just... come on. No.

no i know there's a real difference at home, and i was gonna mention it. but i have observed women acknowledge this too with a kind of competitive stoicism. my stance on the horror of long hours culture is pretty well-documented too.

the macho overwork thing seems to be a symptom of 'get as successful as you can as fast as you can QUICK QUICK before some bastard beats you to it' corporate bullshit whereas women often through necessity have to ascertain more of a balance throughout.
I am lucky, my workplace is mainly female and treats flexible working seriously, and some of the men are taking advantage of it too (not in a bad way! I mean doing their own flex working to look after the kids etc).

Wonder if it's even worth applying for anything during Easter week, but trying to at least log onto the website and apply for things so at least it looks like I'm active.

I've only officially been doing this a month, but I'm already so sick of ~job search~. Need pictures of cute boys in suits.

Also, today is my estranged brother's birthday and my subconscious decided to bless me with creepy freaking dreams. Thanks for that.

Oh god, how does one stay focused and ~enthusiastic~ and "oh yes, I would love to interview for this job which requires weekend cover... (oh do fuck off)" in the face of endless, relentless disappointment and being asked to jump through hoops for impossible things. I'm getting to the point where I don't want to even call anyone back. But I know that I have to. Would like to just take a week off and go on holiday from looking for a job.

Anyway, here is Kessler demonstrating his fingerbanging technique:

https://31.media.tumblr.com/8ce454f747035a565aaa17fc3054968d/tumblr_n3x8rmJtND1rd1g7mo1_250.jpg

Ugh, unemployment sucks. Working from home sucks too. I'm currently working on some research for an industry body and I am going a little stir crazy, even when I change it up by going to the library or coffee shop.

I'm struggling with headhunters as well, my resume doesn't clearly identifiable box so most headhunters ignore me. That or they try and cell me 'career coaching' or CV rewriting services. I went to a meeting with one for shits and giggles and they quoted me $5000 for their services, maybe I should get into that racket. Having done this from the other side I wish more hiring managers hired like I used to, cut out the HR CV screener and the head hunter and go straight to the resume pile and LinkedIn. I hired two or three great people who never would have got in through the traditional route and turned out to be amazing. (especially the vegan punk tech writer I had to fight really hard to hire, she ended up winning the MVP award at the christmas party the year I hired her)

Also fuck a 9 hour work day. I think my peak productivity is somewhere around 35 hrs a week. i would love to be in a position to ask for a 4 day week or a 9 day fortnight but right now no-one is interested in talking to me.

Oh god thank fuck I haven't been offered "career coaching" or "CV rewriting" because fuck that racket. I'm not convinced that any of them know more about the recruitment process than anyone who has actually... y'know, hired a body. I suppose the sheer volume of the CV pile (and how much people lie on their CVs) is the reason that managers don't do this. But when the headhunter is adding another layer of mendaciousness, rather than taking it away... I dunno. Half the ones I speak to don't understand technology, and the other half don't seem to understand that "office culture" is just as important (if not more) than tech skills, which can usually be taught.

I am well aware that I'm a tricky case, because with the right manager and the right environment I will work like a dog, and have certainly proved myself capable of it, but with the wrong manager and environment, I'm a complete fucking HR nightmare. And I have no desire to go into an HR nightmare any more than they do.

I think everyone's peak productivity is between 30 and 35 hours a week. I cannot think of a single instance where longer hours resulted in more work getting done. Work always expands to fill the available time, so you gain nothing by working longer.

I spoke to 3 different headhunters yesterday, and I'm at the point where I'm mixing up them and their jobs and which other jobs they're connected to, and I've started writing down some of it in a little notebook, but then as soon as you write it all down, you never hear from them again.

Anyway, here is a picture of Kessler, because this seems to be becoming a tradition:

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyaeoipkvE1qcuqzco1_1280.jpg

Oh, and just as I was complaining about headhunters, there was another one on the phone. I guess I have a phoner interview tomorrow so I need to go and do some research.

One of the best things I ever heard about productivity was during my scrum training; that their are only 22 productive hours in a week, less if you have any kind of management responsibilities.

The thing is about CVs is I reckon that I can do pattern recognition faster than an HR wonk. I'd always pass back my shortlist to HR for initial contact and phone screening but go through the pile myself.

Top tip, I use Asana as a sort of CRM to keep my recruiters and conversations with them straight.

If there truly are only 22 productive hours in a week (and honestly, it depends on the week, it depends on the task, it depends on the environment) what the FUCK were we expected to be doing those other 23 hours, at that awful "9 hours a day" place?

Laptop is so old (argh! I just remembered I had a dream I had to update its operating system, which I haven't done in... ooh about 4 years, ugh) that I can't install any new software on it. Probably first thing I do when I get a job is buy a new laptop and smartphone but ugh. I don't even like apple products any more.

I've got "please POH-lice me, I want you to POLL-ice" me stuck in my head and I'm laughing trying to remember if it's all Americans who pronounce "police" funny or just that particular one.

Who is this Kessler fellow anyway?

some bloke

I gathered that

a bloke is a bloke is a bloke

And while I am complaining, I would also like to air my irritation with the "No-Yes".

This is that horrible phenomenon whereby people manage to turn down something, without ever using the word "no" and in fact, while maintaining a cheerful air that they plan on doing something they never actually intend to do. I don't know what people get out of this. The idea that they are letting you down easy? The idea that they are not-negative, and positive, and Do Things, while all the time keeping you in this kind of suspense whereby you never actually get a "no" so that you can move on and make other plans, you just exist in this quasi-space of slowly decaying hope.

If I suggest to you, that I do A Thing for you, and you don't want to do the Thing, just say "thanks, but no thank you". Do not display enthusiasm and say "yes, let's do the thing, let me have a think and get back to you" and then... slowly ghost and then not get back to me. This is the second time this has happened in a month, with different people in different situations, and in this case, I should probably send another, more firm suggestion of instead of "I would like to do A Thing for you" I should say "I would like to do Thing X for you, I expect it will take this long" but good god I am sick of chasing people to no avail.

Also, Tumblr is failing in its appointed task of providing me with more pictures of Kessler being adorable this morning, and this is irritating.

This is a Kessler:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/ecdd82beeaf46415e7c91be908f50d0c/tumblr_n40ksdiONA1rjw8sqo1_1280.jpg

...and another email from someone wanting to use my drawings in a local publication, with no mention of payment, but lots of mention of "exposure" and "promotion" and I am trying to get up the nerve to just write back and say "My rates for print publication are £30 for an original image, and £50 for a colour image" (which is probably actually incredibly low, because I've no idea what the market rates are, because everybody just expects you to work for free) and take it from there.

Because quite frankly, I've already had, this year, two rounds of people using my artwork for free because "it's great exposure" and quite frankly, at this point, I don't want more exposure. I want cold hard cash.

(Yes, ironic, considering that I was willing to work for the "no-yes" people for free but I'm running out of patience, not to mention cash.)

Went to Epping Forest yesterday, which was lovely (in the mist and the rain) but at the same time: disappointed by total lack of bluebells. Well, maybe one tiny small patch of bluebells the size of a bathtub, hiding under a bush.

Why no bluebells? Biggin Wood, locally, is a mass of bluebells!

Is this because London is always 5 degrees warmer than the surrounding countryside, so London bluebells are earlier than Essex? Or, because Epping Forest is mostly beech wood, there is so little ground cover, so no bluebells? (Though bluebells usually come out before the full leaf canopy has sprung in spring, so surely this wouldn't matter?)

Walk: lovely, but still somewhat dismayed by lack of bluebells. Where can I go (within reach of London) that has good bluebells?

if you think about something very sad and then look in the mirror you might see a blue Bell.

Only if I hold my breath.

that's a more efficient and less gloomy method than mine.

Hampstead Heath or Highgate Woods for bluebells? Might also find the last of the season's wild garlic into the bargain.

Hampstead Heath in abundance, and there's an impressive display in a tiny park/reclaimed pavement beside the Royal Free along from Belsize Park tube

I really wanted to go somewhere more exotic than Hampstead. Not that Essex is exotic but... well, ~not London~.

Wikipedia says that "The thicker the summer canopy, the more the competitive ground-cover is suppressed, encouraging a dense carpet of bluebells, whose leaves mature and die down by early summer."

One place that springs to mind is Coneybank Wood, nr. Great Missenden. There's a footpath running through the wood (it's a pleasant walk from Great Missenden to Wendover) and I remember the woods being awash with bluebells in early May 2009.

http://www.bing.com/maps/?v=2&cp=51.711544~-0.721207&lvl=15&sty=s&eo=0&q=london&form=LMLTCC

https://www.flickr.com/search/?q=%22Coneybank%20Wood%22

https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2444/3625834968_c232c89e2b_z.jpg

Early May? maybe I am simply too early.

I shall have to investigate woods and walks and train times and things.

I am trying to get up the nerve to just write back and say "My rates for print publication are £30 for an original image, and £50 for a colour image" (which is probably actually incredibly low, because I've no idea what the market rates are, because everybody just expects you to work for free) and take it from there.

do this! exposure is worthless!! make the buggers pay! [and your rates are very reasonable]

maybe I am simply too early.

I shouldn't think so, it's nearly May already. They'll be out now.

Maybe I just picked a bad forest! Except there were actual posters up, on the carpark billboard of "Epping Bluebells" so there surely must be bluebells in Epping forest; just not the bit I was in. I shall try another woods.

Stevie, I did do. They declined to pay, claiming they were new and just getting started and apparently the whole point of the magazine is... advertising for local businesses? I declined to do them any illustrations.

Weirdly, I got another local "community" magazine, also mainly advertising for local businesses, and it had this weird rant in the back of it, about how they were supposed to be a charity, and the printing press they run is to train and employ disabled people and apparently some people they got in to organise advertisers for them "realised how lucrative this was" and ran off with their advertisers to start their own magazine, and this is "stealing from a charity, which is just not done!" and it was all very outraged and weird and ~local politics~ and it makes me wonder if they were talking about the people that approached me? Whatever it is, it's very strange, and all quite ~local~ and kind of amusing and kind of sad in "two bald men arguing over a comb" territory.

"two bald men arguing over a comb"

No sexist comments please

One of the worst examples of casual gender based derogatory stereotyping I've seen for a while on ilx

Seriously, go fuck yourself. I'm not going to bother with a lazy zing, just get the fuck off this thread with that bullshit. You're not funny and you're not clever, you're just an asshole. This is not the place for you.

I am worried about going bald

Just cop to unconscious sexism - you'll feel better in the long run.

But I am buggering off, though.

Branwell, I am pretty sure Trent Park has bluebells in abundance, if you fancy a trip to the northern end of the Piccadilly Line.

Just got back from Warsaw, visiting the in-laws. They live in Wilanów - fascinating place. It has a palace, which is kind of the Polish equivalent of Versailles.

They also have this at the end of their street - The Temple of Divine Providence:

http://warsawtomorrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Temple-of-divine-providence-Warsaw-Front-Wilanow-9.jpg

And having considered for a few hours, I'm back to say:

BB - it's irritating that when you're called out on something that you just use the 'this is such a lazy zing, I'm not even going to answer this. Fuck you, seriously' response e.g. exhibit a

I don't know why men put up with overwork culture.

This is really ignorant and unthinking. The long hours culture is a massive problem that affects both men and women. You may have seen reference today to Nick Clegg's speech at the launch of the Cityfathers - a group established to try to effect cultural change in this area. It's a complicated area where men suffer as do women. I assume you'd be outraged if I said, 'I don't know why women put up with x, y z [e.g. part-time jobs, lower pay etc}]

exhibit b

kind of amusing and kind of sad in "two bald men arguing over a comb" territory is into belittling men territory, even if unconsciously.

it's a common saying and it is most definitely not 'One of the worst examples of casual gender based derogatory stereotyping I've seen for a while on ilx' and you know it.

or is it a US/UK thing like "scheme"

It's a quote by Borges abt the Falklands War

Why don't you lecture me some more about this ~reverse sexism~, and how appalling this commonly used phrase is in conjunction with the terrible systematic gender-based oppression that men and their rights face, and then we can get into reverse racism, and how terrible white people have it in the UK, and how terribly discriminated against heterosexual people are in this culture.

Or else, you can leave a conversation you have been asked to leave, or maybe just go and fuck yourself you tedious little excuse for a human being.

No, seriously. You have all of ILX to play on, and you decide you're going to come on this thread, and have this discussion here. Spare me.

Know what this thread needs?

Kessler, that's what it needs.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyx6ptPVWj1qzk5i5o1_1280.jpg

Plenty of sayings have gone past their use-by date.

Worth me clarifying that what i was getting was 'worst examples of casual gender based derogatory stereotyping' ..it's the casual unthinkingness of it....but let's not quarrel like two fishwives.

Kessler making purple sex faces.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/31c30717b9c7412f11c2f40643bb097f/tumblr_n40cfmqX9H1qmmuqeo1_500.jpg

Kessler looking like a demented creature from the pits of hell...

https://24.media.tumblr.com/7f55b2526f574b8b4ff95c58e17b746f/tumblr_n4gc8bh2W61qgze9ho2_500.png

Haha, yes, this facial expression just about sums it up, Danny boy.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/8ca84c3c7b124c63d72ef56ba368f485/tumblr_n3n8iaPLyj1qfh80oo4_r4_250.gif